Is God in your marriage?

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DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#1
Many people who have unhappy marriages, even if they both claim to be Christians, Do not have God in their lives. Then they sit back and wander "Why me God?", or "Why do i have a spouse like this God?" or they will pray to God to help their marriage?
Everyone is Wanting, wanting, wanting from God. Tell me what do you do for God?

Is it not written if you draw close to God, He will draw close to you?
How is it most want God in their life, but only if they don't have to be in HIS?
If then God is not in your life, or in your marriage, it stands to reason that the problem is you are not in HIS.

I John 4:8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

Do you LOVE your spouse? God is LOVE, if you want God in your marriage, then start LOVING your spouse, REGARDLESS if you are getting it back in return.
Did Jesus LOVE us expecting us to LOVE Him back?
When you stand before God on Judgement Day, you will be judged based on how you LOVED your spouse, NOT how your spouse did not love you.

The problem with this generation, is they have a 50/50 mentality. = "I will love him, as much as he loves me" or "Why should I love her, if she does not love me?" or "Why should i do ____________ for my spouse, when my spouse does not ___________ for me?"

You want to please God, YOU give 100% despite what percentage you are getting back for doing so. YOU will have to answer to God, So YOU be the best spouse that you can be, and please God.

Do you want God in your marriage, yet God in not in your life? Do you go to Church? Are you involved in a Church?
The Word of God teaches us how we can LOVE God. It says, when you do it to the least of these you do it unto Me (Jesus) Therefore the question is, Do you do for others? Do you give to charities? Do you help the hungry, Do you give to the needy? Do you volunteer your time good causes? Do you work in a soup kitchens for the homeless? and a hundred other things you can DO for OTHERS. What? You don't do none of those things? Then how is it a shock that God is not in your life or your marriage? If you draw close to Him, He will then draw close to you. But the last days generation takes thought that if God draws close to them, then they will draw close to God.

Think you are unhappy, you will find the True meaning of the word, when you start helping the less fortunate.

Don't get me wrong, i know people have serious problems in their lives, but if people would only understand what is most important, they would not let the trivial stuff bother them near as much. The most important thing is "Where are you going to go when you die?" Everything else, according to the big picture, is irrelevant, and in the words of Ecclesiastes, it's all vanity. How can i express this better.

A child gets a blanket for birthday, the child loves that blanket more than anything in his life, he plays with, he sleeps with it, he eats with, where he goes the blanket goes. Try to take that blanket away from him, and his world comes to an end, he cries, can't sleep, pouts, depressed, unhappy, sad, just right down miserable, to that child the blanket was EVERYTHING.
But we being adults knows that that blanket is nothing, it is not important in the big picture, it may be important in that child's life at the time, But we as adults knows it is only temporary.

An woman gets married and has children, the wife loves her husband and kids more than anything in her life, she tries to be the Best Mother to her children, she tries to be the best wife to her husband Try to take that marriage away from her, because the husband cheats on her, or there is no more love in the marriage, or whatever other reason there is, and her world comes to an end, she cries, can't sleep, pouts, depressed, unhappy, sad, just right down miserable, to that woman, her marriage was EVERYTHING.
But we being Spiritual knows that that marriage is nothing, it is not important in the big picture, it may be important in that woman's life at the time, But we as Spiritual knows it is only temporary.

All the problems that happens in a person life, all the tribulations, all the trials, is nothing but a blanket to that child. Everything you hold on too in this life, is but a blanket. The child could not see past his present situation. The adult could not see past her present situation. The Big Picture. We will live for ever, for all eternity. Imagine your whole life is but a grain of sand, that grain of sand represents a hundred years. Now think that everything on the Earth, turns to sand, the entire planet is nothing but sand, each grain of sand is 100 years. Now take that planet of sand and multiply that by a billion times a billion other planets which are all made of sand, all that sand is but a vapor of smoke in ETERNITY. Now tell me, that single grain of sand, that is your life, compared to all the sand mentioned above, how important is what is happening to you during that single grain of sand, compared to the amount of sand we are going to live here after? It is trivial, minute, vanity, it is a blanket. One day that child with the blanket will realize, that the blanket they though was so dear to them, so important to them, was just a mere blanket. One day the Saints will realize, that all the things they thought would make them happy on Earth, and that was so important to them, was a mere blanket.
Once you realize that everything in this life, is but a blanket, you will see the Big Picture and the Truth will be revealed to you.

Is God in your Marriage?
If He's not, i assure you it is not God's fault.

^i^
 
N

NewWine

Guest
#2
My husband and I went through a ROUGH time a few years ago. The entire time I kept praying that God would change how my husband saw me. Things kept getting worse. One day I was angry and I prayed. I was telling God all the things I had "endured" being married to "that man", Every thing I had done for him, in spite of my anger, and then I started confessing all the things I felt I had done to him in our marriage. In my own confession my heart softened. Instead of asking God to change how he saw me that day, I asked God to change how I saw him. I wanted to see him with the same love I saw him earlier. That was the day things started to turn around. My husband came home that evening and apologized for the morning, for the previous days, weeks and months of problems, and he sincerely wanted my forgiveness.
God always answers our prayers, sometimes it just takes us a while to see what it is we need to ask.
Peace!
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#3
58 views and only one person responds?
56 have said nothing.
Surely there is one more person to agree.
That way it will be MANY who does not respond, but a FEW who did.

^i^
 
M

mystikmind

Guest
#4
58 views and only one person responds?
56 have said nothing.
Surely there is one more person to agree.
That way it will be MANY who does not respond, but a FEW who did.

^i^
Perhaps your post is too long i think? I have seen plenty of people fall asleep in church when the sermon goes on too long, this is no different.

But there is wisdom in what you say, i have seen similar wisdom in a book called 'The marriage you always wanted' by Garry Chapman
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
58 views and only one person responds?
56 have said nothing.
Surely there is one more person to agree.
That way it will be MANY who does not respond, but a FEW who did.

^i^
Perhaps the 'preaching at you tone' isn't prompting many to respond, as opposed to 'opening up a discussion on the matter tone'.
Or maybe others just don't feel a need to share their personal lives.
Probably a good number of them are not even members, but just guests.
Besides, a large portion of the people coming on this site married are in bad marriages that are or are close to ending.
 

breno785au

Senior Member
Jul 23, 2013
6,002
765
113
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Australia
#6
I think people also need to forget that fairy tale view of what marriage is. That everything is perfect, wonderful, that you have to find the perfect person. When you enter into marriage with this view, and things don't go according to this view, there's a massive shock and people don't know what to do. Now I'm not saying marriage is a horrible thing, its a wonderful thing? It has its trials, for sure, very heavy trials. There's a constant refining in marriage and if you approach it with the right attitude you will become a better person for it. If you approach it with the wrong attitude, it will wear you both down to a nub and you will go the way of the worlds view of marriage - that it gets worse over time, that is what I have observed as such by people. And of course Jesus needs to be in the center, we need all the help we can get lol
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#7
Hate to disagree with you Dave, but long before my marriage, I gave myself to the Lord and so did my husband. Now fast forward to many rocky years of not loving each other the way we should have. In fact, there was hate there. BUT GOD NEVER LEFT US. HE WAS ALWAYS THERE. The Holy Spirit was with us all the time, working on us to refine us, test us and reveal things to us. He was going through the terrible times with us. I'm sure He was grieving - but He never left us. He was busy in the background working on our hearts.

Because HE NEVER LEFT US, we now have 50 years together, and love each other in a way I never thought possible.
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#8
Romans 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness or peril or sword?"

Not even our sinning can put space between us and God. Once you accept Christ, even though you turn back into sin and do not love others as you should, you are "sealed" and His spirit is there to begin the work of healing your relationships, of conforming you into the image of Christ.

Jesus said He would be with us forever. His love puts up with a lot from us. His love is long suffering, enduring, patient, kind, even we are in turmoil with others for a season. He never quits our side.

Because if he had, both my husband and myself would not be in the place we are in now.
 
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sandtigeress

Senior Member
Apr 29, 2013
526
16
18
#9
Those things may not be importend in the long run, but they are importend, like the blanket is importend, and the way it is handled is also importend in the long run. What will happen, when the blanket is removed, the hurt and agonie is there and is quite real, as is the hurt and the agonie, when a marriage died.

Of course the most importend thing in the world is, if we belong to Christ.
But deep hurt changes and it is very importend to give the time to heal untill the view is not so narrow anymore. But while the view is that narrow, take care, that it does not hinder our view to god.

To say "get over it", well i would very much like to get there :)

Sorry all in all i liked your post :) but i am very happy that god has more patiance with my pain :)
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,172
113
#10
I prayed for Him to be in the marriage and asked since my first marriage failed due to us being too young kids when we got married at 17 and 18. We grew up and grew apart we thought we were both Christians at the time, but I failed terribly at that too.

35 years later I asked God if I could do marriage right just once making sure that He was number one in it and He said yes. Does this mean that we will have a problem free marriage? I doubt it, but I know that I and my husband have asked God to always be in it....so I have faith we will work things out if they need to be worked out...with God helping us figure out what might need to be changed.
 
M

MadParrotWoman

Guest
#11
Marriage is hard at the best of times but when your spouse answers to the god of this world...
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#12
Perhaps your post is too long i think? I have seen plenty of people fall asleep in church when the sermon goes on too long, this is no different.
lol, you may be 100% right there, i have been known to be long winded sometimes .. . .. . .. . . OK most of the time :)

^i^ Responding to Post #4
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#13
Perhaps the 'preaching at you tone' isn't prompting many to respond, as opposed to 'opening up a discussion on the matter tone'.
Or maybe others just don't feel a need to share their personal lives.
Probably a good number of them are not even members, but just guests.
Besides, a large portion of the people coming on this site married are in bad marriages that are or are close to ending.
True on all counts.

Responding to Post #5
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#15
Hate to disagree with you Dave,
Care to share what part you disagree with?

Hate to disagree with you Dave,but long before my marriage, I gave myself to the Lord and so did my husband. Now fast forward to many rocky years of not loving each other the way we should have. In fact, there was hate there. BUT GOD NEVER LEFT US. HE WAS ALWAYS THERE. The Holy Spirit was with us all the time, working on us to refine us, test us and reveal things to us. He was going through the terrible times with us. I'm sure He was grieving - but He never left us. He was busy in the background working on our hearts.

Because HE NEVER LEFT US, we now have 50 years together, and love each other in a way I never thought possible.
You have misunderstood my post, what i said was to them whose marriage are bound to FAIL, not to succeed. Your marriage made it through 50 years, because God was IN YOUR LIFE. Are you saying during your marriage there was a time that God was NOT in your life, and also NOT in your husbands life as well.

My whole post is directed at those who are going through a bad marriage and are wondering "Why me Lord?", it was to those who think "Where is God in my marriage?"

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. God will test all marriages, to see if they will easily throw in the towel. Those who stay married even through the trial that God WILL put them through, are the same ones God will bless later on down the road of that same marriage. Those who are quick to throw in the towel (get a divorce) will not be Blessed by God.
No such thing as a perfect marriage, God will test all marriages, and if they pass the test, God will Bless that marriage. Keeping God in your marriage is a great way to keep your marriage, is that what you are disagreeing with? seriously if you are going to disagree with something i said, please inform me what it is that i said that you disagree with.
Because to me, the whole post was about keeping God in your life, to draw close to Him, so He will draw close to you, is that what you are disagreeing with? Is that bad advice? To keep God in your marriage?
Please tell me, what part of what i said that you disagree with.

In fact, there was hate there. BUT GOD NEVER LEFT US. HE WAS ALWAYS THERE.
And why did He not leave you? Because you and your husband never left Him, correct? That is what i have been saying, marriages that leave God, will not work, peoples marriages are in the toilet, and most of them is because God is not in there marriage, i know 90% of the couples i counsel are in this situation. For example in your situation, answer Truly, You say you were Christian before you married, did you go to Church? i think the answer is Yes. When got married did you continue to go to Church? Your answer is probably yes. And during the time you and your husband were fighting and hating on each other, did you stop going to church? Your answer is probably NO, you kept God in your marriage, that is why it is still here today. Now many who are Christian, get married, have major problems in their marriage, will stop going to church as well, end in divorce, all the while wandering why God did not help them with that marriage.
Also i would like to point out, what works for one, may not work for another, for example lets assume you did stop going to church when you hit rocky roads in your marriage, and your marriage still pulled through, This is against the norm.
But what i have seen, and i can only relate what i have seen and heard first hand, most who draw away from God, God draws away from them, and wait, that is Scriptural.

James 4;8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.

My entire post was about that verse, is that what you disagree with? Sorry, since you did not put what part of the post you disagree with, i am left at guessing what it is, that is why i am asking. The entire post was about drawing close go God so God can draw close to you, is that what you disagree with?

^i^ Responding to post #7
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#16
Romans 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness or peril or sword?"

Not even our sinning can put space between us and God. Once you accept Christ, even though you turn back into sin and do not love others as you should, you are "sealed" and His spirit is there to begin the work of healing your relationships, of conforming you into the image of Christ.

Jesus said He would be with us forever. His love puts up with a lot from us. His love is long suffering, enduring, patient, kind, even we are in turmoil with others for a season. He never quits our side.

Because if he had, both my husband and myself would not be in the place we are in now.
Oh, now i understand, OSAS. Answer me this. When a person is SAVED their name is written in the Book of Life. The Bible mentions several times that a person can be blotted out, Tell me how is it a persons name written in the Book of Life can be blotted out of the Book of Life? i mean, if you are SAVED, and you are Always SAVED how can you ever be blotted out?
OSAS is not Scriptural, nor is it the Truth. Just remember Jesus Himself taught plainly that many call Him LORD, LORD, and He does not know them even though they call HIM LORD, because they choose to live in sin, instead of living in Jesus.
Every time a person is tempted to commit sin, Jesus is saying, don't do it, it is sinful, the devil is saying, oh do it, just make sure you repent afterwards. The Bible is Clear, your master is to whom you obey. Also it plainly written those who deny Christ will not enter into Heaven, So tell me, if Jesus is saying don't do it, and satan is saying please do it, and you obey satan, HOW have you NOT denied Christ? OSAS is a lie. And the absolute sad thing about it is, The Bible plainly teaches that it is a lie. PLAINLY, it will not be God's fault when people find out in the end that it was a lie, Not God's fault people that people chose to believe the very few verses that are interpreted by men to mean Once You are Saved you are Always Saved, all the while ignoring, making void, excusing away the many, and i say MANY verses which prove that interpretation to be incorrect.
If what you believe contradicts even one verse in Scriptures then what you believe is wrong.
Change your belief to match Scriptures
Don't change Scriptures to math your belief.

Responding to Post # 8
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#17
I prayed for Him to be in the marriage and asked since my first marriage failed due to us being too young kids when we got married at 17 and 18. We grew up and grew apart we thought we were both Christians at the time, but I failed terribly at that too.

35 years later I asked God if I could do marriage right just once making sure that He was number one in it and He said yes. Does this mean that we will have a problem free marriage? I doubt it, but I know that I and my husband have asked God to always be in it....so I have faith we will work things out if they need to be worked out...with God helping us figure out what might need to be changed.
There is no perfect marriage. God will test all marriages with trials and tribulations, if those involved are quick to throw in the towel and call it quits, will not get blessed by God, But those who, with God, stick it out and fight for their marriage, even through the Testing, God will Bless that marriage. All marriages will be tested. What? God will test one but not another? God has no respect of persons. God Tests all marriages, knowing that Truth, should help you to NOT throw in the towel.

^i^ Responding to Post #10
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#18
Have you ever been married Dave?
Yes, divorced 7 years ago. Right now i am married to Jesus, i have been celibate for over 7 years now. i can never marry again, i can only be reconciled to my wife. If i marry, i commit sin, therefore i can never marry, unless i am reconciled with my exwife.

^i^ Responding to Post #14
 
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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,360
16,323
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Tennessee
#19
Yes, divorced 7 years ago. Right now i am married to Jesus, i have been celibate for over 7 years now. i can never marry again, i can only be reconciled to my wife. If i marry, i commit sin, therefore i can never marry, unless i am reconciled with my exwife.

^i^ Responding to Post #14
Thank you for responding. I was divorced for over 18 years and celibate during this time. My first wife cheated on me so I believe that allowed me to remarry in the eyes of God. I am sorry about your situation.
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#20
Dave, you are so full of words - and it just isn't black and white. During my early years of marriage, I CHOSE to sin knowing it was sin, and no I did not go to church and I was like the prodigal son. I turned my back on everything I thought was right - yet I still believed in Jesus as dying for my sins and knew I was saved. I just let myself go. But I never denied Christ who was still in my heart. You call sin as denying Him. And there is where we disagree. Anyone can find a scripture to prove a point.

Yet, I still look back on those years and see that He never left me and was just waiting for me to turn and seek him after finding no satisfaction elsewhere. I never lost my salvation such as you might think. I know I didn't. And I know that if I had died during those years, I would have had eternal security. I just knew. Faith in what I saw in the scriptures. I could find just as many scriptures to prove my point also. I just don't have the inclination to do so.

Which is why there are so many different views on OSAS. And why I want to avoid going there. I didn't realize that was where you were coming from originally.