Looking for good experiencial input

[zaoman32]

Do you think there is a chance this could have been one contributing factor to the marriage breaking down?

There is some family research that shows a relationship between a women having multiple sexual partners before marriage and a higher chance of divorce. But there was no significant difference between the women who slept with their own husbands only before marriage and those who were virgins at marriage in this particular study (by Teachman, I forget the year). Of course, Christians should abstain because it is a sin against God, no matter what this particular study showed.

My ex and I did not have multiple sex partners. We were each others first.

 

[RedTent]

I think that the world is obsessed with the world version of sex. We get it shown to us all the time so most people are completely ignorant of what real sex is. It is paraded even in the clothes on TV and movies as they must dress to be attractive sexually. If sex education in our schools was education about sex as it was created, our whole world would change. We could even have our families back!

I've been making a study of what happens when people try to live by the suggestions given by God. It is mostly Jews who do that, and they don't know to live with Christ in their life, but just by following what we sneer at as works only, they create blessing for themselves in their lives. I am amazed that most of them are opposed to discipline like that any more, more bewildering than their not being to understand their Messiah. Their way forced them to understand sex, so they had family.

It makes me wish our Christian community didn't so sneer at the ways of worship God suggested.

 

[kim12345]

um... more than one way to skin a cat

Im sorry, I didnt get that?

 

[hootowl]

Hi Jordache

Sorry cant help you on this one. The guidelines of what I believe does not allow this.

Plus the fact I could not go through the intrigue and lying this would involve, call me lazy if you like but better the devil I know than the one I don't.

But I will say this when you have an affair you have to be lying to your partner. When you lie to somebody your taking away their right to make a decision so in fact your not only lying your stealing too.

What about disease you and your partner are only as clean as the last person you were with.

(sorry when I say you it is a figure of speech not personal)

Bottom line do not hurt someones soul because if the other party loves you that is what is happening.
And if your married your still taking the money and the roof over your head is supplied by them most times.

Also actions make reactions the two people are not the only ones involved what about children extended families etc.

I advise people to think. Hey read your bibles. People seem to forget to do that when involved in their own gratification lol
only when telling others what to do. Maybe you can go to hell for fornication too. Wow hell is going to be crowded.

You can go to hell for everything else why not fornication. Maybe too many Christians do it

Hoot owl

 

[Graybeard]

So to the question: those of you who have had sex outside of marriage and have either been married or are married, what are the consequences you've experienced in your relationship because of your sin?

My wife and I had sex before we were married, but I have to question what defines marriage?...is it today's standard of signing a piece of paper that determines a marriage in Gods eyes? or because a Pastor or court official declares one to be married?...I am not sure, all I know from my experience (that is what you asked for) is that before we were "legally" married I knew and had no doubt that she was my wife, I believed that God had put us together, I am in no way saying that this now condones sex before marriage but in my mind God had meant for us to be together and that was all that mattered to me. Has there been any consequences because of it?....I think I can honestly say no, we have just recently celebrated our 30th Anniversary, sure there have been ups and downs but that is just life!...it is not a question of finding the right person but rather being the right person.

 

[homwardbound]

I wasn't sure where to post this so here goes. I work with a ministry and have a lot of influence in the youth at my church so I'm curious to see peoples answers. Now don't take this the wrong way. I fully believe in the importance of scripture, but I'd prefer you answer out of practical experience and not out of what you've read or heard about someone else. Its a touchy topic so I would like to see no judgement. This isn't meant to be a thread to call out someone's sins be they past or present, or correct what you consider false logic.
So to the question: those of you who have had sex outside of marriage and have either been married or are married, what are the consequences you've experienced in your relationship because of your sin?

brought me to know I need Christ as my Savior, and have learned to trust God the Father through Christ to say no to harming others. Compassion has taken front row seat by the Love of God in spite of me that I was born with. Stop think, what I am about to do through bad thoughts, is it beneficial. Thus able to make clear decisions as to how to respond.
As I remember one time a pass was made at me. I responded with if you were my wife and my wife was you. would you still want to go through with what you just said. Answer was revelation, and any future hardships were avoided
Too often we as flesh and blood do not consider what is at hand, before we act out what has been injected in our thoughts, by the Spiritual warfare that we are in.

 

[homwardbound]

Actually I have never found any Biblical vows in the Bible. It is man-made to control people, and is always seen with the pastor holding the Bible in his hand as if these marriage ceremonies are in the word
Has anyone else found them?

 

[alehandra]

Teenagers who feel incomplete, inadequate and unappreciated are more likely to seek comfort in a sexual relationship. But those with a life rich in relationships, family traditions, activities, interests and — most of all — consistent love and affirmation are less likely to embark on a desperate search for fulfillment that could lead to unwise sexual decisions. Those who have a healthy, productive faith in God are more likely to have deeply rooted reasons to respect and preserve the gift of sex and to respect rather than exploit others.

Be aware of these specific risk factors for teen sex:

• Alcohol and drug use. Aside from reflecting problem attitudes (rebellion, poor self-concept, invulnerability) that make sex more likely, intoxication also clouds judgment and weakens resistance to sexual overtures.
• A steady boyfriend or girlfriend.Strong attachments and feelings of exclusivity invite nature to take its course, especially when physical expressions of affection begin early in the relationship. This is a particular risk in a situation where the boy is more than two or three years older than the girl is. If a teen romance appears to be getting hot and heavy and a lot of physical contact is already displayed, you will need to speak with both boy and girl diplomatically but candidly about the physical process they are setting in motion.
• Little parental monitoring. Leaving adolescents alone for hours at a time or not requiring accountability is a setup for sex.
• A parental belief that adolescent sex is appropriate. If you think premarital sex is okay, your adolescent will too and will act on that belief.
• A parental belief that adolescent sex is inevitable.Many parents who disapprove of teen sex have also concluded that it is as certain as death and taxes. Their approach to the subject will thus be double-edged: "Don't do it, but in case you do, use this condom." Adolescents will get the message loud and clear and are likely to act accordingly.
• Low grade-point average/low attachment to school.While school performance is affected by a variety of factors, a basic desire to do well in school reflects a more hopeful outlook on the future and a willingness to put off immediate gratification for long-term goals. Teen sex, on the contrary, usually reflects ignorance of or little regard for consequences.
  
  This doesn't mean, of course, that every scholar is a bulwark of morality or that all who are not academically oriented are destined to be promiscuous. What ultimately matters is a person's commitment to basic values such as responsibility, respect for self and others and concern about the effect of today's decisions on the future.
• A history of physical or sexual abuse. These acts against children and adolescents violate their bodies, minds and hearts. Sexual abuse creates a grossly distorted view of sexual behavior, destroys boundaries, and drives a deep sense of worthlessness into the emotions. Whether the abuse occurred in the distant or recent past, adolescents with this history need ongoing support, counseling and prayer to help them develop healthy attitudes about sex and about themselves.
• Frequent family relocations. Moving generally stresses both parents and adolescents (especially if the kids resent the decision). This can erode parental authority and distract parents from involvement with their children. Bonds to social supports such as church groups that help prevent sexual activity are severed by multiple moves. Loneliness and loss of friendships may lead some teenagers to use sexual activity to gain social acceptance. These issues should be considered by parents who are thinking about a possible relocation.
• Only one parent in the household.Parenting was meant to be a team effort, and some risks will naturally increase when one parent is left to do all the protecting and monitoring alone. Some studies do indicate that adolescents living with a single parent are more likely to become sexually active than those living with both parents. Work and household demands can prevent single parents from being as involved and attentive as they need and want to be. And the divorce and desertion that sometimes lead to a one-parent home can make teens uncertain about the value of marriage as the setting for sexual activity and about the role of sexuality in parental relationships.

This increased risk does not mean that adolescent sex is inevitable in single-parent families. But it does place an additional responsibility on single parents to send their teenagers clear and consistent messages about sexuality.

P.S : Sin is sin, SIN is not weakness, every SIN is sure to have repercussions.

Be blessing
-cilla-

 

[mystdancer50]

You know who gives awesome examples of this is Lisa Bevere. I'd check out her testimony.

 

[masiha]

[TABLE="width: 400"]
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[TD="class: plain, width: 384"]I am Founder/Chairman of Masiha World Mission and working here in Asia in remote hilly areas for building the kingdom of God among the suppressed, poor and needy people. I wish to build relations with missionaries in all over the world to work together for the glory of God in Jesus Christ our Lord. Yours in Christ, Matthew Suroya
Founder / Chairman
Ph: +977 9851146702
E-mail: [email protected]
Skype: zmsuroya
Website: Masiha World Mission[/TD]
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