Men can you tell if another man is good-looking?

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presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
6,776
1,038
113
#1
Several years ago, I read a blog or post from a woman who was upset that a male friend could not tell her if a guy she was being set up on a blind date was good looking or not. The man said he could not tell if he was good looking or not, and she thought he was being dishonest. I thought this was awfully insensitive of the woman. Women can tell if men are good looking, but men could not tell if other men are good-looking... or can they? I cannot, but can other men?

So I got curious about this. Was I lacking in this aspect of interpreting the world? My mind went back to a few occasions where I heard a man say another man was good-looking. I thought they were just talking nonsense, empty flattery or something. Sometimes this happened when I was in Asia. A lot of men in the US won't say stuff like that. I guess I would have thought homosexual men had a sense of this if I had thought about it.

So I took a few straw polls, discussions with a few guys after a Bible study, discussions at the lunch table at work. One co-worker said he could tell if a man was good looking. The other said that was something women could tell. He could not. Some men just did not answer or changed the subject. My guess is somewhere around 20% of men are like me. I would not know that Brad Pitt is good-looking if no one had ever told me. Clark Gable, Carey Grant, Mel Gibson, Ryan Gosling-- I presume are good-looking because people say they are and because of women's reactions.

I think I can have a slight sense of it. If a man is very odd-looking, I can tell if he is not good-looking. I could always do that. But sometimes I can kind of guess at it-- facial symmetry, large jaw. I might ask my wife if a man in a movie is good-looking. It helps me figure out the story line, if he is going to be a love interest of a female character.

For women, I don't have to think about it. I know in a milisecond if a woman is good-looking according to my own particular tastes and opinions. I also notice other people might think a woman is good looking but I don't if she has a trait I associate with masculinity, like a large jaw or something along those lines. Maybe I associate masculinity with not being good looking or something like that. Beauty is subjective. Some women will disagree over whether a certain man is good-looking. Women used to rave over Clark Gable. My wife did not think he was good looking when she saw an old movie. My mom used to think the bar tender from Cheers was odd looking.

I thought I would bring my straw poll here. To what extent can men on this forum tell if a man is good-looking? How many of you have little to no sense of it?
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,396
2,180
113
#2
No. I can't tell if a guy is attractive to women.

A womans attractiveness is something that changes drastically to me depending on their beliefs and behaviors even if they appear exactly the same on the outside.

I have met ladies I didn't consider too attractive, who later became by far the prettiest girl I ever saw at the time. Also had it go the other way. Where I saw a woman, thought she was gorgeous and just by her words or actions she became repulsive to even look at.



(I'd imagine women also have individual preferences just like guys)
 

tstumf

Active member
May 28, 2021
188
107
43
#3
I can make cultural assumptions as to what may be attractive to women per what I’ve seen on tv and heard what they see as attractive in men overhearing conversations. I can make assumptions on if he is or not by observation of how other women around him interact with him but directly out of nowhere strictly physical there is no chance I’d be able to accurately tell if another man is attractive physically . not a chance. I’d also assume there is the individual woman’s preference as well as personality and behaviors are taken into account. I think it’s a lot more complicated than physical attraction and this woman’s male friend was set up for failure by his female friend.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
1,279
860
113
#4
Several years ago, I read a blog or post from a woman who was upset that a male friend could not tell her if a guy she was being set up on a blind date was good looking or not. The man said he could not tell if he was good looking or not, and she thought he was being dishonest. I thought this was awfully insensitive of the woman. Women can tell if men are good looking, but men could not tell if other men are good-looking... or can they? I cannot, but can other men?

So I got curious about this. Was I lacking in this aspect of interpreting the world? My mind went back to a few occasions where I heard a man say another man was good-looking. I thought they were just talking nonsense, empty flattery or something. Sometimes this happened when I was in Asia. A lot of men in the US won't say stuff like that. I guess I would have thought homosexual men had a sense of this if I had thought about it.

So I took a few straw polls, discussions with a few guys after a Bible study, discussions at the lunch table at work. One co-worker said he could tell if a man was good looking. The other said that was something women could tell. He could not. Some men just did not answer or changed the subject. My guess is somewhere around 20% of men are like me. I would not know that Brad Pitt is good-looking if no one had ever told me. Clark Gable, Carey Grant, Mel Gibson, Ryan Gosling-- I presume are good-looking because people say they are and because of women's reactions.

I think I can have a slight sense of it. If a man is very odd-looking, I can tell if he is not good-looking. I could always do that. But sometimes I can kind of guess at it-- facial symmetry, large jaw. I might ask my wife if a man in a movie is good-looking. It helps me figure out the story line, if he is going to be a love interest of a female character.

For women, I don't have to think about it. I know in a milisecond if a woman is good-looking according to my own particular tastes and opinions. I also notice other people might think a woman is good looking but I don't if she has a trait I associate with masculinity, like a large jaw or something along those lines. Maybe I associate masculinity with not being good looking or something like that. Beauty is subjective. Some women will disagree over whether a certain man is good-looking. Women used to rave over Clark Gable. My wife did not think he was good looking when she saw an old movie. My mom used to think the bar tender from Cheers was odd looking.

I thought I would bring my straw poll here. To what extent can men on this forum tell if a man is good-looking? How many of you have little to no sense of it?
I thought I knew until I started seeing the kind of men that attractive women often were drawn to. Obviously looks are subjective. it also seemed when I was younger that women were less interested in appearance. That seems to have changed now. However, I'm 70, a little pudgy, not tall and my hair is thin. A woman I had a little to do with told me that I was handsome. I'm a lot more frog than prince charming. So go figure. I'm 70 as I said. I have little more knowledge of what makes a woman tick, but I started from zero.
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
1,429
1,032
113
#5
There is a young attractive guy (mid 20s) at work, who actually used to be a model (he is straight). People including men lightheartedly joke that he is attractive, as he is seen chatting to blushing females in the hallway. My coworker and this guy went on a business trip; she said the executive of that company (man) tried to recruit him.

I think we can all recognize a model type person (male or female) when we see one. Facial symmetry, women with slender or hour glass figures, men with broad shoulders, etc.

Outside of the model type person (people who don't have the facial symmetry, body build, etc.), speaking only of physical characteristics and nothing else, people who are fit, have good posture, nice smile, "take care of themselves", are seen as attractive.
 

inukubo

Active member
Jun 27, 2019
112
98
28
#7
I can only tell if a dude is really ugly.
Other than that, I would have to try to imagine them as a woman to even begin to have a clue.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
6,776
1,038
113
#8
I can only tell if a dude is really ugly.
Other than that, I would have to try to imagine them as a woman to even begin to have a clue.
That does not work for me. There are certain masculine-like traits that would make a woman facially unattractive that would trip me up. I can kind of guess that maybe a guy is good-looking, but I may be guessing as much from context clues as anything else (women's reactions, or role if he is in a movie.)
 
Mar 25, 2020
218
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#9
Every man has a sense of charm about him. Some men need not be particularly good looking. But the way they carry themselves would be more appealing than their looks. A man can look ugly and still be attractive to women because of his other traits. Mostly, it's women who think it matters that women are beautiful. For men, it really doesn't matter.

Yeah, men can tell a good looking male from one that doesn't look good. Those are just tiny details when you normally observe a man I guess. I'd be looking at other qualities when I assess men as will most men. The appearance will be something of significance maybe 1 or 2 percent. It usually doesn't matter. It's somewhere in the background. At least to me, it doesn't matter.

But yeah. You could say that Tom Cruise, Pierce Brosnan, Carl Weathers, Arya, Milind Soman, Charlton Heston, Yul Brenner, Cristiano Ronaldo, are good looking men? I normally would not observe the looks again. Their charisma, the way they speak, body language, etc. I think those make up for the other half of being attractive. I mean, take Morgan Freeman for example. Not the best looking man in the room. But that doesn't matter. It usually doesn't matter for both men and women how men look I suppose. I think the same goes for most women.

Looks matter more to some people. It doesn't to others. Once you get to know the person, you automatically understand that looks aren't everything.
 

Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
3,071
1,033
113
#10
Beauty is based on symmetry, ratios, angles and shapes. It is easy to determine the beauty of something or someone. It’s ageless and genderless. Attractiveness is based on facial beauty plus other parameters. Then things like being physically proportional, confident, intriguing, flirtatiousness, kind, financial and social status are equated. In my opinion some women can be less beautiful and more attractive. As far as looking at a dude I would have no trouble assessing whether he is handsome or not. I’m pretty sure everyone can, or maybe it has something to do with being artistic. Even as a tradesman I seem to be able to assess what “looks good”. Judging the craftsmanship of some of my subordinates, perhaps it’s not a universal trait. I was also in culinary for almost two decades. I generally received compliments on my presentation. I never thought of it. Good question. Now you got me thinking. Perhaps along with the aptitude test we should have an artistic portion when selecting applicants getting into our trade.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
6,776
1,038
113
#12
I think we can all recognize a model type person (male or female) when we see one. Facial symmetry, women with slender or hour glass figures, men with broad shoulders, etc.
Not all of us. For women, sure.

I've seen some of the averaged pictures of people for various nations. 'Averaged faces' are more attractive than the average face. Averaging faces together with software results in facial symmetry and may bring faces a bit closer to ratios considered attractive. But it seems to me, from my perceptions, that the averaged faces are 70th or 80th percentile for looks. I saw a documentary that explained that certain 'exaggerated' features may be perceived as more attractive, for example, larger than normal eyes on a woman or fuller lips. This wasn't in the documentary, but I think high cheekbones could be another feature depending on the shape of the face. Probably, the prettiest faces have not only symmetry but certain exaggerated features.

But I had no clue whether the men's faces in the 'averaged faces' pictures for each country were good-looking or not. Maybe I might be able to guess a very good-looking model type man is good-looking in some cases, especially if he looks a lot like some other man who is considered good-looking. But I may be picking up on clues from others. Women can go ga-ga over a man and I would have no clue other than their reactions that he is good-looking.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
6,776
1,038
113
#14
This is interesting. I was surprised that the guys unanimously ranked the shortest guy as # 1. I wasn't expecting that. hmmmm
That is a feature (nearly) all men can perceive. I'm pretty clueless when it comes to facial good looks, and it looks like at least a few other guys on the thread are in the same boat.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,151
1,126
113
Philippines Age 40
#15
This is interesting. I was surprised that the guys unanimously ranked the shortest guy as # 1. I wasn't expecting that. hmmmm

Maybe men assume that all gym guys are attractive to women. Too many gymn guys are actually gymn gays nowadays. 😅


Confidence and kindness are attractive. I agree with the girl's choices in the video. The airforce cadet looked confident. And also he has a deep sexy voice. 😊
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
36,160
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Tennessee
#16
Maybe men assume that all gym guys are attractive to women. Too many gymn guys are actually gymn gays nowadays. 😅


Confidence and kindness are attractive. I agree with the girl's choices in the video. The airforce cadet looked confident. And also he has a deep sexy voice. 😊
That gym gays part was quite amusing. :p
 

Moses_Young

Well-known member
Sep 15, 2019
2,244
1,414
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#17
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So possibly, a man judges how attractive another man is by how closely the other resembles himself? That's what I do, anyway. ;-)
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
6,776
1,038
113
#18
This is interesting. I was surprised that the guys unanimously ranked the shortest guy as # 1. I wasn't expecting that. hmmmm
I finally got around to seeing this. The young men were about as clueless about male attractiveness as I am, which is weirdly reassuring.
 

SomeDisciple

Active member
Jul 4, 2021
238
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#19
In the most general sense of "attractiveness" I suppose. Science suggests being in general good health is a basis for attractiveness. The bible says a the glory of a younger man is his strength and the glory of an older man is wisdom- and I think those have to do with being attractive to the opposite sex. I can typically tell when somebody is weak, and stupid... that's about as good as I can do.
 

inukubo

Active member
Jun 27, 2019
112
98
28
#20
Probably a good thing they didn't ask the guys to rank the girls in that one... (o_O)