Men can you tell if another man is good-looking?

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breno785au

Senior Member
Jul 23, 2013
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Australia
#21
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So possibly, a man judges how attractive another man is by how closely the other resembles himself? That's what I do, anyway. ;-)
I think Chris Hemsworth is an extremely good looking man but I bare - 100,000+ resemblance.
 
Dec 30, 2020
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#22
Several years ago, I read a blog or post from a woman who was upset that a male friend could not tell her if a guy she was being set up on a blind date was good looking or not. The man said he could not tell if he was good looking or not, and she thought he was being dishonest. I thought this was awfully insensitive of the woman. Women can tell if men are good looking, but men could not tell if other men are good-looking... or can they? I cannot, but can other men?

So I got curious about this. Was I lacking in this aspect of interpreting the world? My mind went back to a few occasions where I heard a man say another man was good-looking. I thought they were just talking nonsense, empty flattery or something. Sometimes this happened when I was in Asia. A lot of men in the US won't say stuff like that. I guess I would have thought homosexual men had a sense of this if I had thought about it.

So I took a few straw polls, discussions with a few guys after a Bible study, discussions at the lunch table at work. One co-worker said he could tell if a man was good looking. The other said that was something women could tell. He could not. Some men just did not answer or changed the subject. My guess is somewhere around 20% of men are like me. I would not know that Brad Pitt is good-looking if no one had ever told me. Clark Gable, Carey Grant, Mel Gibson, Ryan Gosling-- I presume are good-looking because people say they are and because of women's reactions.

I think I can have a slight sense of it. If a man is very odd-looking, I can tell if he is not good-looking. I could always do that. But sometimes I can kind of guess at it-- facial symmetry, large jaw. I might ask my wife if a man in a movie is good-looking. It helps me figure out the story line, if he is going to be a love interest of a female character.

For women, I don't have to think about it. I know in a milisecond if a woman is good-looking according to my own particular tastes and opinions. I also notice other people might think a woman is good looking but I don't if she has a trait I associate with masculinity, like a large jaw or something along those lines. Maybe I associate masculinity with not being good looking or something like that. Beauty is subjective. Some women will disagree over whether a certain man is good-looking. Women used to rave over Clark Gable. My wife did not think he was good looking when she saw an old movie. My mom used to think the bar tender from Cheers was odd looking.

I thought I would bring my straw poll here. To what extent can men on this forum tell if a man is good-looking? How many of you have little to no sense of it?
Some men judge the appearance of other males in a platonic way just like observing the artwork of a master ( good physic, rugged features, beautiful eyes with long eyelashes, long wavy hear , etc.). Some men find other males attractive in a sinful way. Some men think that some males are attractive because they are able to attract females and use that criteria as their own classification.

I believe that what attracts women are males that exude confidence in words and actions. Women please let me know if I am right. For me I judge all males and females, especially Christians, not by their physical features but by the the fruit of the Holy Spirit, which is the amount of love that they exhibit.
 

Runningman

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2020
3,288
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#23
Several years ago, I read a blog or post from a woman who was upset that a male friend could not tell her if a guy she was being set up on a blind date was good looking or not. The man said he could not tell if he was good looking or not, and she thought he was being dishonest. I thought this was awfully insensitive of the woman. Women can tell if men are good looking, but men could not tell if other men are good-looking... or can they? I cannot, but can other men?

So I got curious about this. Was I lacking in this aspect of interpreting the world? My mind went back to a few occasions where I heard a man say another man was good-looking. I thought they were just talking nonsense, empty flattery or something. Sometimes this happened when I was in Asia. A lot of men in the US won't say stuff like that. I guess I would have thought homosexual men had a sense of this if I had thought about it.

So I took a few straw polls, discussions with a few guys after a Bible study, discussions at the lunch table at work. One co-worker said he could tell if a man was good looking. The other said that was something women could tell. He could not. Some men just did not answer or changed the subject. My guess is somewhere around 20% of men are like me. I would not know that Brad Pitt is good-looking if no one had ever told me. Clark Gable, Carey Grant, Mel Gibson, Ryan Gosling-- I presume are good-looking because people say they are and because of women's reactions.

I think I can have a slight sense of it. If a man is very odd-looking, I can tell if he is not good-looking. I could always do that. But sometimes I can kind of guess at it-- facial symmetry, large jaw. I might ask my wife if a man in a movie is good-looking. It helps me figure out the story line, if he is going to be a love interest of a female character.

For women, I don't have to think about it. I know in a milisecond if a woman is good-looking according to my own particular tastes and opinions. I also notice other people might think a woman is good looking but I don't if she has a trait I associate with masculinity, like a large jaw or something along those lines. Maybe I associate masculinity with not being good looking or something like that. Beauty is subjective. Some women will disagree over whether a certain man is good-looking. Women used to rave over Clark Gable. My wife did not think he was good looking when she saw an old movie. My mom used to think the bar tender from Cheers was odd looking.

I thought I would bring my straw poll here. To what extent can men on this forum tell if a man is good-looking? How many of you have little to no sense of it?
I think it's a matter of who takes care of their body the best. I can tell which guys have let themselves go, neglecting their appearance, hygiene, grooming, and health. Such people do not necessarily need to have natural beauty to be beautiful. Perhaps they just need to give themselves a little attention. Some people clean up real good with a little effort.

It also might help you to just look at examples of what is not good looking then compare that to what is good looking. There's an obvious difference I think.

All that being said, maybe you can't tell because you arent sure about the difference between being attracted to someone and their beauty. On some level I think it's more psychological based on a subjective set of criteria rather than some kind of objective standard of beauty.

For example, I can tell that I am good looking and that has been validated repeatedly, even by unsolicited comments from other men. So I can use my own appearance as a kind of standard for beauty. Maybe you can just look at yourself and decide now.
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
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#25
I can when I look in the mirror.. lol
We can tell, but it comes down to confidence. That vibe trumps looks sometimes.
 

Kireina

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2020
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#26
My brothers can tell if a man is handsome lol...two of my brothers imitates the looks of the men who they find handsome 😅... Like the hair,the beard,their moves the way they dress etc...😅
 
Mar 1, 2021
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#27
This thread made me laugh and it was fun reading all the male responses. It reminds me of when my husband is watching baseball and I say a certain player is cute and he seems totally floored by it lol. It seems like men just have this general resistance to admitting ANY guy is attractive. I don't know if it's an ego thing or they just don't see it.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
6,830
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#28
This thread made me laugh and it was fun reading all the male responses. It reminds me of when my husband is watching baseball and I say a certain player is cute and he seems totally floored by it lol. It seems like men just have this general resistance to admitting ANY guy is attractive. I don't know if it's an ego thing or they just don't see it.
A lot of us don't see it at all.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
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#29
I think most men can tell.

I'm pretty sure most men knows when another man is attractive. They always seem to get competitive or self conscious around an attractive guy, and not so much around an unattractive guy.

I've even had men tell me...wow...he's hot...I bet you're attracted to him.

Then others, who would never dare call another guy hot, but would ask what do you think of him is he attractive? I'm pretty sure, they knew the guy was attractive because once again, they would only ask about the attractive guys.

But really the same goes for women...I almost thought for a while that I couldn't spot an attractive woman because any time I asked a guy if they thought another woman was attractive ...the answer was always...flat out NO.. she's not my type.

Then a guy finally told me that was an unspoken rule for guys...you never tell a woman you are in a relationship with or interested in that you find another woman attractive....That never ends well....

So maybe you guys actually can spot attractive guys, but your wives/gf's are following the same rule... telling you No, they aren't their type.

Just something to consider...lol
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
6,830
1,045
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#30
I think most men can tell.

I'm pretty sure most men knows when another man is attractive. They always seem to get competitive or self conscious around an attractive guy, and not so much around an unattractive guy.

I've even had men tell me...wow...he's hot...I bet you're attracted to him.

Then others, who would never dare call another guy hot, but would ask what do you think of him is he attractive? I'm pretty sure, they knew the guy was attractive because once again, they would only ask about the attractive guys.
Maybe the guy had the slightest sense of what might be considered attractive to women so he asked to make sure. Or he could have picked up on body language cues of the women and wanted to know what is going on.

I'll occasionally ask my wife if a man is good-looking in a movie. I do this partly to figure out what is going on with the plot. Usually the male interest is good-looking. Or if a fellow looks odd to me, but seems to be the love interest of another character, I might ask.

But really the same goes for women...I almost thought for a while that I couldn't spot an attractive woman because any time I asked a guy if they thought another woman was attractive ...the answer was always...flat out NO.. she's not my type.

Then a guy finally told me that was an unspoken rule for guys...you never tell a woman you are in a relationship with or interested in that you find another woman attractive....That never ends well....
That probably depends on how honest and forthright the guy is and how jealous his partner is. It reminds me of Chevy Chase character telling his wife that Christie Brinkley was ugly.

I never heard of women not being able to know... or at least have an opinion on... whether another woman was good-looking. Some of this might be individual tastes. Most women that men in general consider to be good-looking, I agree with. But there are some women that are considered very good-looking that I perceive as slightly attractive in the face, like Jennifer Lawrence, or... back when they were young Cindy Crawford, or Julia Roberts. I don't know what they look like now. Age takes its toll on all of us.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
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#33
These guys are gay. For real.
Yep, probably...but even the guys that aren't homos and don't say it that way...I'm pretty sure, they still know when another man is attractive.

They don't really have to say anything at all. You can usually tell by their behavior.

It's like some kind of a reflex....You know... they try to stand a little taller, puff their arms and chest out a little more.

When that happens, women can just look around and see that there is usually another attractive guy around...lol
 
Aug 4, 2021
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#34
I think your friend would not tell you if his frriend was ugly or not, because he was not attractive. Two outcomes, either he spoiled his friends date with a lafy out of his league, assuming you are. Or you might have told his friend that he told you he was not attractive. Bad position to be put in.

It is very easy to say if someone is good looking, Hollywood tells us what is attractive. Society inprints a beautystandard on us, which we abide by in public. And I think there is a scientific formula to attractiveness in the face, it is about symetry, and some methematic measures. Other than that, it is about broad shoulders, slimmer waiste than chest, etc.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,187
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#35
I think your friend would not tell you if his frriend was ugly or not, because he was not attractive. Two outcomes, either he spoiled his friends date with a lafy out of his league, assuming you are. Or you might have told his friend that he told you he was not attractive. Bad position to be put in.

It is very easy to say if someone is good looking, Hollywood tells us what is attractive. Society inprints a beautystandard on us, which we abide by in public. And I think there is a scientific formula to attractiveness in the face, it is about symetry, and some methematic measures. Other than that, it is about broad shoulders, slimmer waiste than chest, etc.
Yeah, that is more than likely the case.

Someone's not going to try to set someone up on a date with their friend, and then say oh and by the way...they are unattractive.
 
Aug 4, 2021
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#36
Yeah, that is more than likely the case.

Someone's not going to try to set someone up on a date with their friend, and then say oh and by the way...they are unattractive.
Yes, would be bad form. If pressed I would in the past have said yes even if it was not true. Worst case scenario is that the one who set them up was honest and said he was ugly, and she still went on the date. Then they talk about it, and the man feels insulted and get angry, Then the ones on date marry and cut out the one who joined them for a simple truth. Then it is biblical, ungratefulness is the worlds paycheck.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,187
1,629
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#37
Yes, would be bad form. If pressed I would in the past have said yes even if it was not true. Worst case scenario is that the one who set them up was honest and said he was ugly, and she still went on the date. Then they talk about it, and the man feels insulted and get angry, Then the ones on date marry and cut out the one who joined them for a simple truth. Then it is biblical, ungratefulness is the worlds paycheck.
Yep...there is a lot of ways that scenario could go wrong!
 

Moses_Young

Well-known member
Sep 15, 2019
2,256
1,434
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#38
Yes, would be bad form. If pressed I would in the past have said yes even if it was not true. Worst case scenario is that the one who set them up was honest and said he was ugly, and she still went on the date. Then they talk about it, and the man feels insulted and get angry, Then the ones on date marry and cut out the one who joined them for a simple truth. Then it is biblical, ungratefulness is the worlds paycheck.
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