Hello,
I copied a note I wrote my husband and I wanted men's opinions and advice. We have been having the same issues for years and I have been on this site before for help. I want to hear other men's responses to my letter to see if I am unreasonable, stupid, or crazy. Keep in mind, this is written in the mix of escalated problems that he refused to speak to me about. Please feel free to be honest. I want to be a good wife to my husband.
I thank everyone in advance for responding. The note begins below.
Why do you treat me like an enemy or something that is replaceable, if you want to be with me for the rest of our lives? I do not understand this kind of logic and it only confirms the doubt you create by this sort of action.
I work hard to be one with you and it now feels impossible to achieve.
I NEED:
A husband who cares when I am uneasy, hurt, sad, frustrated, unhappy, angry, glad, lazy, energized, ambitious, lost, lonely, needy, and horny.
A husband who strives to please me.
A husband who needs me.
A husband who supports me in more ways than financial.
A husband who wants and needs to be one of the biggest parts of mine and the kids lives.
A husband who desires to spend quality, and a reasonably peaceful time with the family.
A husband who thinks before acting, so he teaches the family to do the same.
A husband who wants and tries to set the best example in every moment.
A husband who enjoys and wants to help the family even with little things.
A husband who devotes more time to the family than with technology.
A husband who TRULY learns GOD'S WORD and lives it IN and OUT of the home.
A husband who takes his family to church and makes that a priority over anything.
A husband who wants to be a husband and enjoys his life as one.
A husband who lives to be a father and takes pride in spending time, teaching, and loving his children.
A husband who FULLY knows what love is and shows it to his family.
A husband who FEELS LOVE.
A husband who would fight to "do right" by his family even if he has to be vulnerable, knock down walls, or live with his heart on his sleeve.
A husband who would kill himself to save or protect his family.
A husband who would strain his body in order to give comfort to his kids.
A husband who would react with protection and security to his kids short comings.
A husband who lives to provide safety and trust to his family.
A husband who fights for what is right and to solve problems, NOT create them.
A husband who would find a solution and attempt to solve before going to sleep at night.
A husband who does not put himself first majority of the time.
A husband who can balance his interests and family in a practical, logical, and rational way.
A husband who does not act nicer to outsiders and put on a performance for them.
A husband who is HONEST with himself and others.
A husband who is faithful.
A husband who's word is solid.
A husband who has values and morals and sticks to them.
A husband who is NOT angry majority of the time.
A husband who has fun or makes life fun in anything done together.
A husband who does not take pleasure in causing distress in all of our lives.
A husband who teaches his boys how to be a "real man" and teaches his daughter how to find a "real man".
A husband who intentionally walks, talks, and reacts.
A husband who is not afraid of living.
A husband who wants and works toward progress, but finds contentment in his family.
A husband who has long-term goals.
A husband who has depth and substance.
A husband who appreciates me and the kids.
A husband who loves himself enough to have a great home life.
A husband who listens and responds.
A husband who is NOT self-absorbed.
A husband who makes me feel heard.
A husband who responds during disputes and does NOT ignore me.
A husband who makes me want to be a better wife and mother.
A husband who assures me if I am doubtful.
A husband who lifts me up when I fall.
A husband who shows chivalry.
A husband who respects me.
A husband who is darn near obsessed with me.
Obviously, I have needs. I tried to be as specific as possible, because I want this all. I deserve to have this. I am not being unreasonable and I am willing to give as well. I try, but I am depleted. I need this more now than ever. WE WILL NOT MAKE IT unless YOU TRY TOO.
