More afraid of my mom than God

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selenah

Guest
#21
#21
TalentedPoet said:
Selena, my daughter is 17 and is a senior in High School, just 3 weeks ago we had an incident here in my home... she told me she lies to me because she is afraid of me... that really hurt my feelings because I am always trying to keep the lines of communication open... but I try not to put too much pressure on my children... I ask them to do their absolute best and when I know that they are not I encourage them and push them even... my daughter is having trouble in her Pre-Calculus class, she has had 2 failing grades so I told her to shut off the cellphone and turn the radio off no distractions, then if she fails the next one she should see if she could get a tutor (some kind of extra help) and if she still has trouble drop the class and pick up a new math class before it's too late too...

I said all of this to show you that as parents we are concerned (not just with your well-being, but also with your future & happiness) however it seems that your mother is more concern with her own satisfaction and goals... nobody's perfect not even your mother, however, God has given us a command to honor our parents... whatever you do don't be disrespectful, don't roll your eyes and shut her out... do pray on it... do speak to a counselor at school and perhaps they can talk to your mother on your behalf on what are some REALISTIC goals are... they can show where you are in reality and you can make a plan and as long as you keep your end, she can only encourage you...

Negotiate!!!
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I've tried talking to my mom about it, but she tells me to be quiet, I'm wrecking her fun time, distracting her, or else she ignores me. Part of me feels bad if I say something mean to her, but the other part of me is filled with a deep, searing anger towards her. I've given up trying to understand her, or myself for that matter lol. As for school, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I need to try harder, but I'm tired. Anyways everything will probably work out alright.
Thanks for helping everyone :)
 
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shekaniah

Guest
#22
#22
Selenah, just wanted you to know I'm still praying for you. God Bless, have hope and ask God for wisdom.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
 
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Bobbyking

Guest
#23
#23
selenah said:
I don't understand her or know what she wants from me.
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Hi Selenah

Thanks for posting your concern here.

First of all, NEVER CHEAT, DON'T EVEN CONSIDER IT. REJECT IT.

Secondly, clearly your Mom has her own set of success formula. You may not be able to change her ways or thinking. But you can strengthen your own belief of success formula in life through what the Word of God says.

I assume your Mum thinks this is the BEST for you. Continue to LOVE your Mum. BUT WORK ON YOUR MATURITY IN GOD. At home, demonstrate your CHANGED life in God - through your discipline, responsibility, your words, your actions. She can continue to make all kinds of demand and remarks, but BE STRONG IN THE LORD. Reject them if it is AGAINST the Word of God. But continue to LOVE her.

And if she makes not-so-loving remarks about you, go to one corner and declare aloud to yourself - I am free in CHRIST JESUS and I have the joy of the LORD in Me. And BE HAPPY and JOYFUL and LAUGH.

After a while, she will see that her daughter has grown up and have her own set of life success rules. She will know how to back down eventually. But it takes time.
 
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Likewise

Guest
#24
#24
Okay this is super long but this is really a problem for me. Ever since I started highschool mom has really pressured me to get good grades with my school. Just the other day I got a 95 and a 97 on on two of my tests without cheating. When my mom sees it she's like "study longer and pay closer attention to definitions." She tells me to get a 100 on everything. It's so difficult not to cheat. Like I'll be given one day to learn 40 new words in Spanish and their spellings for vocab quiz the next day. I know it's wrong to cheat, but I'm more afraid of my mom than God.



Another thing, my mom expects me to be super duper model delicate and skinny.......like one of my relatives and my sister. I've looked at all the height and weight charts, and I'm not overweight. She tells me I need to go on a diet. She calls me fat in front of people. Like the other day I was in someonse's way, and she's like "move your fat ***." I avoid high-fat foods and exercise two and a half hours every day, but she's always talking about how much more skinny and pretty this one relative and my sister are than me. I don't understand her or know what she wants from me.




I don't want to cheat in school because I know it's wrong and I can't have any peace with God when I do but I have to exercise and I have to get super good grades. I want to do right and not cheat, but I'm more afraid of her than God. I'm so tired of everything. What am I supposed to do?


Selenah,
To an extent I can identify with an overcontroling parent. In retrospect I believe my father, although a Christian businessman was a little obsessed in wanting me to take over his business.
I believe sometimes, parents love their children so much and want them to be successful, and that makes them a little overbearing.
I sense that you are trying to honor your parents request. Yes, exodus 20: 6 "Children honor you parents, that thingsk may be well with you and you willhave a long life." and that is good, and God's blessing will be with you. But your parents are human and in your case pushing you too much.
Parents that expect 100's on test grades are expecting too much. Ask God to show you a respectful way to share this with your parents.
ASk God to show you how to speak the truth in love to them.
I feared my sunt much more than my parents when I made a bad grade. She made me feel like I was her son. I laterrealized how much she loved me and encouraged me in my studies. God can help you work this out.
prayingfor you
Likewise.
 
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selenah

Guest
#25
#25
Idk I've tried to figure it out, but I'm not really sure. I remember so vividly when I was very very young how happy I was (despite some other things) and how much I loved her, but after that my memory goes blank except for remembering how angry I was at her. Idk that probably didn't make any sense, but I'm not even sure if I really understand everything. Anyways, I'm trying to work on being less hurt and angry towards her.
 
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