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JGPS I don't disagree this sounds like a solution for short term. This is how I see this playing out. She ravages him completely for a week or two. He gets his fix. Her role as mother reclaims her attention and tires herself again with household duties no longer giving him more than he can handle. He feels slighted that she seems to have lost interest even though she just may be tired. He gets his fix from pornography. She finds out. Now she's even more upset than before because she completely gave herself to him and it still wasn't enough in her mind.
I've tried several times to weed pornography out of my life. It seemed to go away for a while then would spring back up again. It was a constant battle like a craving that wouldn't go away. This is how I finally beat the desire. One day I was reading the Bible and realized there is two parts to me. My carnal and my spiritual. Before I would make excuses for my carnal self, trying to satisfy the animal in me figuring there was nothing I could do about it. Then it hit me when I read I have been crucified with Christ. We read that we have died to the flesh but usually that heart beats strong sustaining life to all earthly, fleshy desires. That day I decided to compartmentalize who I am. It didn't require any training or skill only listening. Now I listen to my spiritual self. I told myself I don't have to listen to the animal and I don't. Since then my communication with God has improved and I can look at a beautiful woman and not desire to see her naked. I hope this helps a lot of people struggling with pornography but it also helped with my struggles with eating desserts and anger too.
I've tried several times to weed pornography out of my life. It seemed to go away for a while then would spring back up again. It was a constant battle like a craving that wouldn't go away. This is how I finally beat the desire. One day I was reading the Bible and realized there is two parts to me. My carnal and my spiritual. Before I would make excuses for my carnal self, trying to satisfy the animal in me figuring there was nothing I could do about it. Then it hit me when I read I have been crucified with Christ. We read that we have died to the flesh but usually that heart beats strong sustaining life to all earthly, fleshy desires. That day I decided to compartmentalize who I am. It didn't require any training or skill only listening. Now I listen to my spiritual self. I told myself I don't have to listen to the animal and I don't. Since then my communication with God has improved and I can look at a beautiful woman and not desire to see her naked. I hope this helps a lot of people struggling with pornography but it also helped with my struggles with eating desserts and anger too.
He is not in this thread for you to give advice too, and she does not need to compartmentalize herself or break any habits.
Anyway, my advice is based on the good things she has said about him. He is no lost cause from the sounds of it, so there is no reason to assume the worst case. He may not be disposed to feel slighted, not everyone is. He may even be able to work with what he gets to get out of his habit, or at least have less excuses for it.
It does not really matter how you see it playing out based on worst case assumptions, there is no reason to think it would go like you assume.
Your duality is not very healthy though.
1Co 9:9 For it is written in the law of Moses, Thou shalt not muzzle the mouth of the ox that treadeth out the corn. Doth God take care for oxen?
1Co 9:10 Or saith he it altogether for our sakes? For our sakes, no doubt, this is written: that he that ploweth should plow in hope; and that he that thresheth in hope should be partaker of his hope.
1Co 9:11 If we have sown unto you spiritual things, is it a great thing if we shall reap your carnal things?
Rom 15:27 It hath pleased them verily; and their debtors they are. For if the Gentiles have been made partakers of their spiritual things, their duty is also to minister unto them in carnal things.
Carnal mindedness is having your mind set on the short term temporal things rather than the Kingdom. That is the carnal that is bad, as our mind should be on His Kingdom. And certainly wanting a whole lot of temporal gains and things is bad (that's what lust is). But we are not worshippers of Plato where there is a great dichotomy between mater and spirit. Perhaps it's high time for you to start putting yourself back together in a way which the strugle is nothing to you, body or spirit.
Rom 8:12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh.
Rom 8:13 For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live
The Devils in the details, or rather he gives Christians many false pet doctrines because they miss the details. It isn't your flesh that died, nor its need. It ought to be the horrible short sited temporarily and greed that died. Not the flesh as a whole.
I'm glad you've found a way to deal with your problems, but I pray one day you will come to a place where you no longer need that kind of method to do it. The body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, that old flesh and blood animal body. Those instincts too will one day drive you to serve rather than tempt you away.
Anyway, my advice is based on the good things she has said about him. He is no lost cause from the sounds of it, so there is no reason to assume the worst case. He may not be disposed to feel slighted, not everyone is. He may even be able to work with what he gets to get out of his habit, or at least have less excuses for it.
It does not really matter how you see it playing out based on worst case assumptions, there is no reason to think it would go like you assume.
Your duality is not very healthy though.
1Co 9:9 For it is written in the law of Moses, Thou shalt not muzzle the mouth of the ox that treadeth out the corn. Doth God take care for oxen?
1Co 9:10 Or saith he it altogether for our sakes? For our sakes, no doubt, this is written: that he that ploweth should plow in hope; and that he that thresheth in hope should be partaker of his hope.
1Co 9:11 If we have sown unto you spiritual things, is it a great thing if we shall reap your carnal things?
Rom 15:27 It hath pleased them verily; and their debtors they are. For if the Gentiles have been made partakers of their spiritual things, their duty is also to minister unto them in carnal things.
Carnal mindedness is having your mind set on the short term temporal things rather than the Kingdom. That is the carnal that is bad, as our mind should be on His Kingdom. And certainly wanting a whole lot of temporal gains and things is bad (that's what lust is). But we are not worshippers of Plato where there is a great dichotomy between mater and spirit. Perhaps it's high time for you to start putting yourself back together in a way which the strugle is nothing to you, body or spirit.
Rom 8:12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh.
Rom 8:13 For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live
The Devils in the details, or rather he gives Christians many false pet doctrines because they miss the details. It isn't your flesh that died, nor its need. It ought to be the horrible short sited temporarily and greed that died. Not the flesh as a whole.
I'm glad you've found a way to deal with your problems, but I pray one day you will come to a place where you no longer need that kind of method to do it. The body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, that old flesh and blood animal body. Those instincts too will one day drive you to serve rather than tempt you away.
JGPS, you do what you want. There are probably a number of people dealing with porn issues who are reading these posts. If my post can be helpful in any way to someone, I'll add it. I'm proof that there is a deliverance from even the desire of porn. There is no sexual side effects. I've never felt healthier. Whether you accept it or not there is a duality to all believers. Save your prayers I've never been more at peace than where I am. Thanks anyway.
I pray your husband will read this, it is shocking but true, he must repent or loose his soul, I dont know if he has already, but you cant be in bondage to sin and enter the kingdom.
I don't know where to turn!
Mat 13:15 for this people's heart has become gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and they have closed their eyes, lest at any time they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them."
I just can’t imagine just how deep the sexual addictions are of those who profess Christ, and as a struggling addict for over 30 years, and being told I was ok, and going to heaven because God doesn’t care about my addiction, but more that I just believe in His son, who repented for me, took my wrath, and became my righteous substitute, so I can be assured all is well, even though every word of God says otherwise!
Here is one of many, many sad examples of what the false, liberal gospel is producing today:
Quote:
I'm a pastor who's addicted to Internet pornography, and I don't know where to turn.
Question
After months of trying to convince myself that I don't really have a problem, I've finally come to the point of realizing that I'm addicted to Internet pornography. What makes my case especially painful and shameful is that I'm a pastor of a local church. If anyone were to find out, my ministry would be destroyed. I don't know where to turn or who to talk to. Can you help me?
Here we have a supposed man of God, who is a leader of a flock, and is asking for help with his vile addiction, which proves he is under the strong delusion, and totally ignorant of biblical truth!
This is very painful for me to read as he was trying to convince himself he didn’t have a problem! And how did he come to this conclusion? Because he has been taught and probably teaches the saved In sin false gospel, promising him liberty while he is still in his unregenerate carnal mind! He may have been told from the beginning that he was born a sinner, and that Jesus took his place and wrath, so you can live as the devil, worship the devil, and be totally vile in your heart and ok with God!
He then goes on to say, if anyone finds out his ministry would be destroyed, what hypocrisy! He is more worried what his congregation will think over what God thinks! What a mess this is, a man who is head of a church, addicted to lust, but has no conscience as to what God thinks, only concern for him is losing his job, but no worries he can never lose his soul!
The word of God says otherwise:
Eph 5:3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;
Eph 4:19 For they, being past feeling, have given themselves up to lust, to work all uncleanness with greediness.
Rom 6:13 Do not yield your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but yield yourselves to God, as one alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.
Rom 2:8 But to those who indeed disobeying the truth out of self-seeking, and obeying unrighteousness, will be anger and wrath,
Rom 2:9 tribulation and anguish upon every soul of man who has worked out evil; of the Jew first, and also of the Greek.
1Co 6:9 Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor abusers, nor homosexuals,
1Co 6:10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
2Pe 2:10 and especially those who walk after the flesh in the lust of uncleanness, and despise dominion. They are darers, self-pleasing; not trembling at glories, speaking evil.
Eph 5:5 For you know this, that no fornicator, or unclean person, or covetous one (who is an idolater), has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Just a few verses warning of the dangers of this addiction, that are totally ignored by the professing Christian world, bent on a deception so strong, that the only hope for them is covered by a system of errors leaving the defiled still defiled, and unable to break free of their bondage!
Now the advice that was given to this so called man of God was to seek out a good counselor, and have peace because God understands your addiction, because you were saved in the act, and continuing the act has no bearing on your eternal destiny!
Can you see just how far off the mark professing Christianity is today? And how the poor sinner, born in sin excuse, leads to spiritual death! Man is not responsible for His actions, God understands, and in time he may come clean, but in reality will be a slave to his flesh as he has absolutely no fear of God, nor any real concept of biblical repentance!
But why don’t they listen to Jesus when He boldly proclaimed:
DEPART FROM INIQUITY!
GO AND SIN NO MORE!
FLEE SEXUAL IMMORALITY!
LET THERE NOT EVEN BE A HINT OF IMMORALITY BETWEEN THE SAINTS OF GOD!
THE UNRIGHTEOUS WILL NOT INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD!
REPENT OR PERISH!
LAY ASIDE ALL FILTHYNESS AND OVERFLOW OF WICKEDNESS!
KEEP YOURSELF IN THE LOVE OF GOD!
PUT THE AX TO THE ROOT!
COUNT THE COST!
BE YE PERFECT IN HEART AND MIND!
CUT AND PLUCK IT OFF AND OUT!
BE HOLY!
OBEY MY COMMANDS!
STRIVE TO ENTER THE KINGDOM!
CLEANSE YOURSELF, MAKE YOURSELF PURE!
I could go on, but you get my point here, I just hope and pray those who are caught up in this heinous addiction, realize they are in great danger of losing their soul, they are worshiping at the altar of satan every time they indulge themselves in this vile addiction, they have opened their soul to the most dark and perverse works of the devil, where simple counseling, or a focus group will do nothing but pacify their dead conscience, keeping the old man alive, but thinking they are safe, because they really don’t have to stop as commanded, they just have to make a small effort to hopefully do it less, because they are just a wretched sinner, saved by a foreign grace telling them God allows this vile behavior because Jesus covers them when they stumble into willful rebellion against Him!
The sad fact is that this is the normal behavior accepted far and wide by the professing Church, where repentance is replaced with counseling, holiness is replaced with profane addictions, purity is replaced with defilement, and anyone who comes along and tells them to repent or lose their soul, is evil, judgmental, hateful, unloving, and cast away as a heretic!
The great apostle Paul would not be welcomed in these liberal apostate churches, since they preach a different gospel, and could care less what Jesus and His apostles along with the early church and prophets taught about purity, and abstaining from sexual sin!
Gal 6:7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows, that he also will reap.
Gal 6:8 For he sowing to his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh. But he sowing to the Spirit will reap life everlasting from the Spirit.
Why not tell this poor soul along with the other multitude of pastors and professed Christians to repent as commanded:
Biblical repentance
2 Corinthians 7:10-11
[SUP]10 [/SUP]For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. [SUP]11 [/SUP]For observe this very thing that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear(pure) in this matter.
The way to the cross, is godly sorrow, not the sorrow of the world. Godly sorrow produces repentance (stopping the sin) leading to what? Salvation! Never going back to the sins of death, 1 Corinthians 6-9-11.
The sorrow of the world, leads to death, since the sin never stops, so then godly sorrow will produce: diligence in you,(the virtue of hard work rather than the sin of carelessness,) clearing of all wrong doing, what indignation(strong displeasure at something considered unjust, offensive, insulting, or base; righteous anger.)Followed by fear of God and His wrath, a vehement desire(Characterized by forcefulness of expression or intensity of emotion or conviction; fervid) a zeal and passion to do right and make amends if possible, what vindication(a means of exoneration from an accusation) you proved yourself to be clear(pure)of all known sin and disobedience before God.
This happens before forgiveness will be granted, because we have free will and ability, to repent, stop the sin, and obey God from a pure and undefiled heart, thus becoming savable, and broken, ready to receive the implanted word with a clean conscience, purified through repentance and faith proven by deeds!
Tommy Your husband and family are in my prayers!
I don't know where to turn!
Mat 13:15 for this people's heart has become gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and they have closed their eyes, lest at any time they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them."
I just can’t imagine just how deep the sexual addictions are of those who profess Christ, and as a struggling addict for over 30 years, and being told I was ok, and going to heaven because God doesn’t care about my addiction, but more that I just believe in His son, who repented for me, took my wrath, and became my righteous substitute, so I can be assured all is well, even though every word of God says otherwise!
Here is one of many, many sad examples of what the false, liberal gospel is producing today:
Quote:
I'm a pastor who's addicted to Internet pornography, and I don't know where to turn.
Question
After months of trying to convince myself that I don't really have a problem, I've finally come to the point of realizing that I'm addicted to Internet pornography. What makes my case especially painful and shameful is that I'm a pastor of a local church. If anyone were to find out, my ministry would be destroyed. I don't know where to turn or who to talk to. Can you help me?
Here we have a supposed man of God, who is a leader of a flock, and is asking for help with his vile addiction, which proves he is under the strong delusion, and totally ignorant of biblical truth!
This is very painful for me to read as he was trying to convince himself he didn’t have a problem! And how did he come to this conclusion? Because he has been taught and probably teaches the saved In sin false gospel, promising him liberty while he is still in his unregenerate carnal mind! He may have been told from the beginning that he was born a sinner, and that Jesus took his place and wrath, so you can live as the devil, worship the devil, and be totally vile in your heart and ok with God!
He then goes on to say, if anyone finds out his ministry would be destroyed, what hypocrisy! He is more worried what his congregation will think over what God thinks! What a mess this is, a man who is head of a church, addicted to lust, but has no conscience as to what God thinks, only concern for him is losing his job, but no worries he can never lose his soul!
The word of God says otherwise:
Eph 5:3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;
Eph 4:19 For they, being past feeling, have given themselves up to lust, to work all uncleanness with greediness.
Rom 6:13 Do not yield your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but yield yourselves to God, as one alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.
Rom 2:8 But to those who indeed disobeying the truth out of self-seeking, and obeying unrighteousness, will be anger and wrath,
Rom 2:9 tribulation and anguish upon every soul of man who has worked out evil; of the Jew first, and also of the Greek.
1Co 6:9 Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor abusers, nor homosexuals,
1Co 6:10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
2Pe 2:10 and especially those who walk after the flesh in the lust of uncleanness, and despise dominion. They are darers, self-pleasing; not trembling at glories, speaking evil.
Eph 5:5 For you know this, that no fornicator, or unclean person, or covetous one (who is an idolater), has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Just a few verses warning of the dangers of this addiction, that are totally ignored by the professing Christian world, bent on a deception so strong, that the only hope for them is covered by a system of errors leaving the defiled still defiled, and unable to break free of their bondage!
Now the advice that was given to this so called man of God was to seek out a good counselor, and have peace because God understands your addiction, because you were saved in the act, and continuing the act has no bearing on your eternal destiny!
Can you see just how far off the mark professing Christianity is today? And how the poor sinner, born in sin excuse, leads to spiritual death! Man is not responsible for His actions, God understands, and in time he may come clean, but in reality will be a slave to his flesh as he has absolutely no fear of God, nor any real concept of biblical repentance!
But why don’t they listen to Jesus when He boldly proclaimed:
DEPART FROM INIQUITY!
GO AND SIN NO MORE!
FLEE SEXUAL IMMORALITY!
LET THERE NOT EVEN BE A HINT OF IMMORALITY BETWEEN THE SAINTS OF GOD!
THE UNRIGHTEOUS WILL NOT INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD!
REPENT OR PERISH!
LAY ASIDE ALL FILTHYNESS AND OVERFLOW OF WICKEDNESS!
KEEP YOURSELF IN THE LOVE OF GOD!
PUT THE AX TO THE ROOT!
COUNT THE COST!
BE YE PERFECT IN HEART AND MIND!
CUT AND PLUCK IT OFF AND OUT!
BE HOLY!
OBEY MY COMMANDS!
STRIVE TO ENTER THE KINGDOM!
CLEANSE YOURSELF, MAKE YOURSELF PURE!
I could go on, but you get my point here, I just hope and pray those who are caught up in this heinous addiction, realize they are in great danger of losing their soul, they are worshiping at the altar of satan every time they indulge themselves in this vile addiction, they have opened their soul to the most dark and perverse works of the devil, where simple counseling, or a focus group will do nothing but pacify their dead conscience, keeping the old man alive, but thinking they are safe, because they really don’t have to stop as commanded, they just have to make a small effort to hopefully do it less, because they are just a wretched sinner, saved by a foreign grace telling them God allows this vile behavior because Jesus covers them when they stumble into willful rebellion against Him!
The sad fact is that this is the normal behavior accepted far and wide by the professing Church, where repentance is replaced with counseling, holiness is replaced with profane addictions, purity is replaced with defilement, and anyone who comes along and tells them to repent or lose their soul, is evil, judgmental, hateful, unloving, and cast away as a heretic!
The great apostle Paul would not be welcomed in these liberal apostate churches, since they preach a different gospel, and could care less what Jesus and His apostles along with the early church and prophets taught about purity, and abstaining from sexual sin!
Gal 6:7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows, that he also will reap.
Gal 6:8 For he sowing to his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh. But he sowing to the Spirit will reap life everlasting from the Spirit.
Why not tell this poor soul along with the other multitude of pastors and professed Christians to repent as commanded:
Biblical repentance
2 Corinthians 7:10-11
[SUP]10 [/SUP]For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. [SUP]11 [/SUP]For observe this very thing that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear(pure) in this matter.
The way to the cross, is godly sorrow, not the sorrow of the world. Godly sorrow produces repentance (stopping the sin) leading to what? Salvation! Never going back to the sins of death, 1 Corinthians 6-9-11.
The sorrow of the world, leads to death, since the sin never stops, so then godly sorrow will produce: diligence in you,(the virtue of hard work rather than the sin of carelessness,) clearing of all wrong doing, what indignation(strong displeasure at something considered unjust, offensive, insulting, or base; righteous anger.)Followed by fear of God and His wrath, a vehement desire(Characterized by forcefulness of expression or intensity of emotion or conviction; fervid) a zeal and passion to do right and make amends if possible, what vindication(a means of exoneration from an accusation) you proved yourself to be clear(pure)of all known sin and disobedience before God.
This happens before forgiveness will be granted, because we have free will and ability, to repent, stop the sin, and obey God from a pure and undefiled heart, thus becoming savable, and broken, ready to receive the implanted word with a clean conscience, purified through repentance and faith proven by deeds!
Tommy Your husband and family are in my prayers!
Weather you accept it or not you've read scripture wrong and are following a pet doctrine based on that misreading.
Ironically the bulk of your misreading comes from 1 Cor 3, which is part of a section denouncing what man's wisdom teaches, which at the time includes the very Platonism you're embracing.
It's good you found something that works for now, but your experience does not prove that there should be a dualism nor that you've come to the final endpoint with the issue.
Ironically the bulk of your misreading comes from 1 Cor 3, which is part of a section denouncing what man's wisdom teaches, which at the time includes the very Platonism you're embracing.
It's good you found something that works for now, but your experience does not prove that there should be a dualism nor that you've come to the final endpoint with the issue.
The problem with porn is the flesh. It's full of organs and hormones and nueral pathways who's sole functions are to make us horny. And we can grit our teeth all we want to, that's not going to change, here and now. Yes we can diminish and subdue and fight it thru the Holy Spirit and the Word of God, but here and now we will never be fully rid of it. Not most of us at least.
Problem is, porn plays right into feeding the flesh, more than anything else. It's like peddling Twinkies outside a fat farm. Eventually someone's going to come to the fence and sneek one.
So, you dear wife need to do 2 things. 1, Make yourself more appealing and available to hubbys needs, within the confines of Biblical decency of course. You don't have to do what the porn actresses do, but what guy is going to surf internet boobies if he's got a pair of real ones in his face at home?
2, find him a substitute. Give him this 'hall pass'. When he's being tempted to surf porn, he agrees to come interact with the forums here for 30 minutes. If 30 minutes later he still wants his porn then let him. But he has to promse to start here first every time. See if that won't cut down or stop his little forays into the flesh.
Problem is, porn plays right into feeding the flesh, more than anything else. It's like peddling Twinkies outside a fat farm. Eventually someone's going to come to the fence and sneek one.
So, you dear wife need to do 2 things. 1, Make yourself more appealing and available to hubbys needs, within the confines of Biblical decency of course. You don't have to do what the porn actresses do, but what guy is going to surf internet boobies if he's got a pair of real ones in his face at home?
2, find him a substitute. Give him this 'hall pass'. When he's being tempted to surf porn, he agrees to come interact with the forums here for 30 minutes. If 30 minutes later he still wants his porn then let him. But he has to promse to start here first every time. See if that won't cut down or stop his little forays into the flesh.
B
Ricky...your post is disturbing.
1) claiming most can never be delivered from porn is not only false... it plays into the FLESH. If a person truly wants to be free from a sin and repents and desires to forsake... God will empower the same... it is finished by the cross.
2) Asserting that she is somehow responsible for her husbands sin by saying she become more appealing is offensive garbage. Saying "don't act like a porn actress but keep our boobs in his face" demonstrates a lack of sanctity for sex within marriage... yuck. This husband has a problem that is not about his wife or her sexuality... it is HIS problem... she unfortunately suffers the consequences for it.
3) Hall pass???? so basically what you are saying here is that she should negotiate with his egregious sin and marital infidelity... also YUCK.
1) claiming most can never be delivered from porn is not only false... it plays into the FLESH. If a person truly wants to be free from a sin and repents and desires to forsake... God will empower the same... it is finished by the cross.
2) Asserting that she is somehow responsible for her husbands sin by saying she become more appealing is offensive garbage. Saying "don't act like a porn actress but keep our boobs in his face" demonstrates a lack of sanctity for sex within marriage... yuck. This husband has a problem that is not about his wife or her sexuality... it is HIS problem... she unfortunately suffers the consequences for it.
3) Hall pass???? so basically what you are saying here is that she should negotiate with his egregious sin and marital infidelity... also YUCK.
Yeah I knew that one was going to raise some ire. Sorry. But something like this needs to be addressed in the real world instead of being consigned to Bible verse smoke rings, that while true have little power over the man's current situation. (Yeah that one's going to bite me too). I'm sure he's aware of all the verses that say he's not to do these things, but that's not stopping him is it?
So the trick is to find what actually will.
My first wife was a virgin when we married and 99.9% virgin when we split. I asked, begged, pleaded for some kind of intimacy but her 'Bible-based' frigidity said no. One day she found my porn stash, was all broke up on how I could be doing that instead of 'working on our marriage'. Of course my claims that both sides need to give to make it work fell on deaf ears.
What did get her attention was the analogy letter I put in with my new stash for when she found that. It said:
I once bought a dirt bike, we were cruising down the trail when I saw a hill I wanted to climb but the bike faltered and stalled. So we continued down the trail and I saw some whoops I wanted to charge but again the bike faltered and stalled. Down the trail a little farther I saw a jump, but again when I went for it the bike faltered and stalled. And now my bike wonders why it sits alone in the garage, while I'm off rock climbing.
I don't know what the Mrs is doing in this thread's case, all I know is a man who is satisfied at home with the real thing doesn't hunt after the fake substitute elsewhere.
As for the hall pass, the idea is that when he sits his butt in front of the computer to surf porn, if he detours here or someplace like this first, most often he's not going to move on to use the freedom he's been offered.
And isn't that what fighting sin is all about - not to put us in lockup, but to put us in a place where we choose not to use the freedom we've been given to do it?
So the trick is to find what actually will.
My first wife was a virgin when we married and 99.9% virgin when we split. I asked, begged, pleaded for some kind of intimacy but her 'Bible-based' frigidity said no. One day she found my porn stash, was all broke up on how I could be doing that instead of 'working on our marriage'. Of course my claims that both sides need to give to make it work fell on deaf ears.
What did get her attention was the analogy letter I put in with my new stash for when she found that. It said:
I once bought a dirt bike, we were cruising down the trail when I saw a hill I wanted to climb but the bike faltered and stalled. So we continued down the trail and I saw some whoops I wanted to charge but again the bike faltered and stalled. Down the trail a little farther I saw a jump, but again when I went for it the bike faltered and stalled. And now my bike wonders why it sits alone in the garage, while I'm off rock climbing.
I don't know what the Mrs is doing in this thread's case, all I know is a man who is satisfied at home with the real thing doesn't hunt after the fake substitute elsewhere.
As for the hall pass, the idea is that when he sits his butt in front of the computer to surf porn, if he detours here or someplace like this first, most often he's not going to move on to use the freedom he's been offered.
And isn't that what fighting sin is all about - not to put us in lockup, but to put us in a place where we choose not to use the freedom we've been given to do it?
B
Ricky...You looked at porn because you liked it... and if you had spent some time fine tuning that dirt bike it wouldn't have faltered. Your analogy blames the bike for the falter instead of placing the blame where it belongs... on the bikes owner... who clearly shouldn't have a dirt bike cuz he doesn't know how to properly care for or operate one... and instead of learning decided to take up rock climbing. Which is 99.9% the problem when men start whining about sex... most women like sex, we are wired that way too...it's the slovenly, crude and base approach that gets a negative result.
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i had a dream once, i was on a building where he saw a black dog and "LOVED" and so went and took it, and hugged it, on the other side was a trainer, the trainer told me that ""the dog could do tricks"" so he took a ball and threw it from where he was and down to the bottom floor, i was afraid that maybe if i let the dog go it would just jump off the building and die, but eventually i let go, and to my surprise it took the stairs, but somewhere on the 1st floors stairs, i saw it stop and got attacked, so i ran to it, and saw 5 squirrels having killed the dog.
a dog is a spirit of lust, that trainer is God how so? everytime He wanted me free of the spirit i worried about it, that maybe it would die when it was supposed to die, those squirrels are humility.
the word of GOD say the meek shall eat and be satisfied, see what your husband needs is to have faith that HE CAN have HIS heart satisfied by GOD, because what this sin does is increase the craving for more and more pornography, even when you dont want to, this sin just wants you to run after it, it leaves such a mark in peoples hearts. because its in GOD to replace something bad in our lives with something very good, and something will satisfy our hearts, and we wont have ANY reason to go back to pornography. Sometimes its the wife sometimes ITS NOT, its just the man Himself or the spirit that keeps him hooked to the porn. the thing about this is that when you dont have GOD in you, you see it as normal, because the more you crave the more it becomes a habit. the more the devil lies to you and makes you think its Part of your life.
Bind that spirit that keeps him hooked to porn, and tell HIM that GOD can satisfy His Heart, and shut down HIS flesh. if he does not listen to you, pray for HIM. God will deal with him, and he wont have any word against him.
GOD has a way to put a lid on any argument.
what Hungry said works, why? because the TRUTH SETS US FREE. Free from what? any sort of bondage that we have. Thank GOD for you my brother. and GODs methods for healing different people with this problem can be similar but not the same.
God bless you all..
a dog is a spirit of lust, that trainer is God how so? everytime He wanted me free of the spirit i worried about it, that maybe it would die when it was supposed to die, those squirrels are humility.
the word of GOD say the meek shall eat and be satisfied, see what your husband needs is to have faith that HE CAN have HIS heart satisfied by GOD, because what this sin does is increase the craving for more and more pornography, even when you dont want to, this sin just wants you to run after it, it leaves such a mark in peoples hearts. because its in GOD to replace something bad in our lives with something very good, and something will satisfy our hearts, and we wont have ANY reason to go back to pornography. Sometimes its the wife sometimes ITS NOT, its just the man Himself or the spirit that keeps him hooked to the porn. the thing about this is that when you dont have GOD in you, you see it as normal, because the more you crave the more it becomes a habit. the more the devil lies to you and makes you think its Part of your life.
Bind that spirit that keeps him hooked to porn, and tell HIM that GOD can satisfy His Heart, and shut down HIS flesh. if he does not listen to you, pray for HIM. God will deal with him, and he wont have any word against him.
GOD has a way to put a lid on any argument.
what Hungry said works, why? because the TRUTH SETS US FREE. Free from what? any sort of bondage that we have. Thank GOD for you my brother. and GODs methods for healing different people with this problem can be similar but not the same.
God bless you all..
You don't get it. I tried, over and over, and there was nothing slovenly, base, or crude about it. I pampered her, gave her better than she'd had in her whole life. She was the brick wall. Absolute unyielding stone. Don't bother me with your counseling because that's just the way it is, that was her attitude.
What else was I supposed to do?
And knowing I'm not the ONLY man in that boat, I ask, what are we supposed to do?
What else was I supposed to do?
And knowing I'm not the ONLY man in that boat, I ask, what are we supposed to do?
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B
And knowing I'm not the ONLY man in that boat, I ask, what are we supposed to do?[/QUOTE]
Maybe attempting to demonstrate plainly that you recognize your "frigid" wife was an exception to the rule as opposed to insinuating that "feeling" unfullfilled is a just cause for a man to look a porn... because porn is sinful whether you are married or NOT. Having a proper God honoring attitude about sin, sex and marriage would go a long way toward making your testimony actually helpful vs fueling the fire of division as it is now. Honestly, I am not sure exactly "what" the fianl question means since you are no longer married to that woman... so if you are asking about PORN because you still haven't put it away? The answer is REPENT, recognize you are polluting your mind, undermining your relationships, dishonoring sex, marriage and WOMEN and sinning against God and promoting for the enemy (that is satan)... when you can grasp that... then you are in a good place to be healed and set free.
Get serious... choose whom you will serve... today.
Maybe attempting to demonstrate plainly that you recognize your "frigid" wife was an exception to the rule as opposed to insinuating that "feeling" unfullfilled is a just cause for a man to look a porn... because porn is sinful whether you are married or NOT. Having a proper God honoring attitude about sin, sex and marriage would go a long way toward making your testimony actually helpful vs fueling the fire of division as it is now. Honestly, I am not sure exactly "what" the fianl question means since you are no longer married to that woman... so if you are asking about PORN because you still haven't put it away? The answer is REPENT, recognize you are polluting your mind, undermining your relationships, dishonoring sex, marriage and WOMEN and sinning against God and promoting for the enemy (that is satan)... when you can grasp that... then you are in a good place to be healed and set free.
Get serious... choose whom you will serve... today.
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Maybe attempting to demonstrate plainly that you recognize your "frigid" wife was an exception to the rule as opposed to insinuating that "feeling" unfullfilled is a just cause for a man to look a porn... because porn is sinful whether you are married or NOT. Having a proper God honoring attitude about sin, sex and marriage would go a long way toward making your testimony actually helpful vs fueling the fire of division as it is now. Honestly, I am not sure exactly "what" the fianl question means since you are no longer married to that woman... so if you are asking about PORN because you still haven't put it away? The answer is REPENT, recognize you are polluting your mind, undermining your relationships, dishonoring sex, marriage and WOMEN and sinning against God and promoting for the enemy (that is satan)... when you can grasp that... then you are in a good place to be healed and set free.
Get serious... choose whom you will serve... today.[/QUOTE]
2Co 9:7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.
Get serious... choose whom you will serve... today.[/QUOTE]
2Co 9:7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.
2Co 9:7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.
i believe people should not be forced to believe or to make choices, they have to come to a place where GOD reveals HIMSELF and they willingly choose to CHOOSE HIM.
counsel can not and should NOT be forced ON ANYONE. even when you are right because its evident that if a person does not perceive the way you do, or GOD has shown you . Another probably does not and NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT with LOVE, as per what GOD says we should share
the word of GOD says KNOWLEDGE PUFFETH UP but LOVE EDIFIES, and when GOD speaks to us through someone they will not argue anymore, because HIS WISDOM makes us KEEP QUIET. hallelujah. unless we are not HUMBLE. and what benefit is there in rebellion? rebellion is as a sin of witchcraft..
God bless, good day. hope i did not offend, just what God has shown me on the matter.
B
God bless, good day. hope i did not offend, just what God has shown me on the matter.[/QUOTE] If offending is a concern... you aren't ready to be instructing... and your theology could use some development too.
YOu are 21... do you also interject yourself into discussions between your parents and their peers?? I am having a 2-way interactive with Ricky and as far as I can tell it has been a candid and productive one... who are you to be inserting yourself this way... and how is it you assert to determine if God has spoke thru me or anyone else in this matter??? Isn't that an essentially personal and private matter for the Holy Spirit to convict someone with the words of another... and how is it you assert that that persons response must fit within specific parameters??? 2Cor 9:7 is about giving as in tithes, alms and or charity and has nothing to do with the Holy Spirit convicting us thru the words of another. If you are going to insert yourself, please use scripture in context and have an application... otherwise you are just creating a distraction. Ya might want to think twice about the "keep quiet" part as some revelation is just for ourselves and not for sharing.
YOu are 21... do you also interject yourself into discussions between your parents and their peers?? I am having a 2-way interactive with Ricky and as far as I can tell it has been a candid and productive one... who are you to be inserting yourself this way... and how is it you assert to determine if God has spoke thru me or anyone else in this matter??? Isn't that an essentially personal and private matter for the Holy Spirit to convict someone with the words of another... and how is it you assert that that persons response must fit within specific parameters??? 2Cor 9:7 is about giving as in tithes, alms and or charity and has nothing to do with the Holy Spirit convicting us thru the words of another. If you are going to insert yourself, please use scripture in context and have an application... otherwise you are just creating a distraction. Ya might want to think twice about the "keep quiet" part as some revelation is just for ourselves and not for sharing.
I am not going to agree with Ricky that the wife needs to step her game up sexually because i have no idea what goes on in the OP's relationship. I will say I have met many couples christian and non-christian who have marital issues based on sex. Either there isn't enough for one partner, or the sexual activities engaged in aren't what they desire, or their sexual fantasies are immediately shot down by their spouses. Sex is a lot of give and take but i think people should be willing to try and fulfill their spouses fantasies as long as they arent getting into things like animals, children, or threesomes, etc.