My husband is considering divorce, I desperately need advice

[Tommy379]

You don't have to divorce, even for adultry. You are allowed to stand for your marriage. You don't have to, but you can. God does hates divorce. Your husband could be sick. It's up to you. The bible speaks of all this.

My wife left me 20 months ago. She had no biblical reason. My legal divorce is final, but I chose to stand for our marriage. She won't talk to me except about the kids. It's hell, but I can't reconcile how 2 that were made 1 flesh can be torn apart.

Your perfect advice will be found in reading what Jesus said and thorough consideration.

 

[DerVille]

I was with you all the way through your email...until you got to the point about him cheating on you. I stopped reading after that. I have no advice for you. I can't fathom why you would have ever seen him again after he had sex with another person. Even Jesus left an out of the marriage for that.

"But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery; and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery"

I'm sorry for your marriage. Since I'd never stay with my mate if they had an affair I have no advice for you. I don't understand how you could have stayed.

 

[DerVille]

I was with you all the way through your email...until you got to the point about him cheating on you. I stopped reading after that. I have no advice for you. I can't fathom why you would have ever seen him again after he had sex with another person. Even Jesus left an out of the marriage for that.

"But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery; and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery"

I'm sorry for your marriage. Since I'd never stay with my mate if they had an affair I have no advice for you. I don't understand how you could have stayed.

I now read your later post in which he's had MULTIPLE affairs with women and is in one now.

And you still want to stay with him? Jesus says to forgive him but after you forgive him I'd advise you divorce. Why on Earth would you stay in that situation with someone who has broken his covenant with you repeatedly? I wish you speedy healing and joy. I don't think you'll find it while being married to this person.

 

[DarkRose]

I was with you all the way through your email...until you got to the point about him cheating on you. I stopped reading after that. I have no advice for you. I can't fathom why you would have ever seen him again after he had sex with another person. Even Jesus left an out of the marriage for that.

"But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery; and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery"

I'm sorry for your marriage. Since I'd never stay with my mate if they had an affair I have no advice for you. I don't understand how you could have stayed.

Aren't fornication and adultery different?

 

[EarnestQ]

Aren't fornication and adultery different?

Fornication is before marriage.

 

[oldethennew]

this was never a Godly marriage where (2) become (1), don't kid yourselves people...

 

[lovingladyo4]

I disgaree with you oldethenew - you may not be aware of them, that's all. This world is full of couples who love the Lord and put Him first. God designed marriage so He certainly knows how to keep them flourishing. Yes, we live in a fallen world where sin is all around everyone, like a lead weight pulling us in the wrong direction. But there are couples all over the world who are happy and thriving. I truly hope someday you get to meet some of them!

 

[Marymoobulldoze]

Love, I wanted to fix one mistake that I made in giving you advise. I cannot give advise on someone who has PTSD from a military back round. I can only give PTSD advice from an abusive both, physically, mentally and sexually. But everything else I stated ,I still stick with

 

[inge]

I think there is a lot going on what makes it difficult to seek the right path through all of it. You might want to ask yourself some questions and maybe write the answers down to see how things work for you.

What do you think are the most important things in marriage?
What does exactly scare you in this situation?
What are the reasons you want to stay?
Do you have a limit in what you will handle in this situation?
Do you cross your boundaries in what you accept? Like saying first... I never accept that and later think... well... in this case...
What will you do when your husband does not accept therapy?

I see you answer some of it but not in a clear picture.
I sense you let him push your boundaries. (Let me know if I am wrong )

 

[stillness]

This verse came to mind, "Come apart and rest a while until this calamity be overpass." About a time of prayer and fasting (not from food but to put away your divided spirit (Isaiah 58). Both of you, the divided spirit kept you from having power of the Holy Spirit to forgive your husband. If we don't forgive we are not forgiven. You are already fasting in the relationship and should also abstain from your own words, both of you. Be encouraged to see Him differently and encourage Him to see differently and enter this time of fasting and prayer with attitude to succeed: to ask the Lord for help.
As Mary expressed, don't be concerned about the outcome, "all things work together for good to them that Love the Lord."
There is a study in Poems and poetry here, journey to enter into rest. Its one hour reading and should help you understand what it means to put away your divided spirit: 11 year journey foe me so far, from the time the Lord told me, "Enter in as a little child and put away your divided spirit." Neither have I attained, don't be discouraged and share this with your husband and if you two agree to the time in prayer and fasting you have both saved your marriage, in Love with Him that always cares for us. May we learn to stand in His name having identity in Christ.
Your brother Raymond

 

[Sd1071]

I'm going through a very similar situation with my husband who is in the Army and is suffering from PTSD. He won't get help and he doesn't know if he wants to be married anymore and he cheated on me. He just doesn't care while I'm doing everything I can to try and save the marriage. I believe now it is done. I'm crushed. I'm sorry you are going through the same thing. I wish I had some encouraging words. But prayer is the best thing.

 

[tourist]

I'm going through a very similar situation with my husband who is in the Army and is suffering from PTSD. He won't get help and he doesn't know if he wants to be married anymore and he cheated on me. He just doesn't care while I'm doing everything I can to try and save the marriage. I believe now it is done. I'm crushed. I'm sorry you are going through the same thing. I wish I had some encouraging words. But prayer is the best thing.

The worse thing that a husband can do is to cheat on his wife. A husband that loves his wife does not cheat on her. Your marriage ended the first time that he cheated on you, he betrayed you trust and destroyed the sanctity of the marriage. His having PTSD is not an excuse to cheat on you. You are right in saying that prayer is the best thing. In this situation it is probably the only thing. I have said a prayer for God to give you clarity of thought in how to proceed.