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J
I Cor. 13:3-53Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or in order that I may glory, but have not love (God's love in me), I gain nothing. 4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. 5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
J
Eph 5:22-24
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
If the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church what does that mean? Christ demonstrated servant leadership, while being fully aware of His authority, power and role as teacher and Lord.
John 13:3-17
3Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. . . 12When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
Matthew 14:13-21 The feeding of the 5000 is another example of meeting the needs of others as an example of Jesus character.
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
If the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church what does that mean? Christ demonstrated servant leadership, while being fully aware of His authority, power and role as teacher and Lord.
John 13:3-17
3Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. . . 12When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
Matthew 14:13-21 The feeding of the 5000 is another example of meeting the needs of others as an example of Jesus character.
J
Eph 5:27-2927That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless]. 28Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church,h
J
I Pet. 3:6-8
7In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God's unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.] 8Finally, all [of you] should be of one and the same mind (united in spirit), sympathizing [with one another], loving [each other] as brethren [of one household], compassionate and courteous (tenderhearted and humble).
7In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God's unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.] 8Finally, all [of you] should be of one and the same mind (united in spirit), sympathizing [with one another], loving [each other] as brethren [of one household], compassionate and courteous (tenderhearted and humble).
J
1 Cor. 7:5-11
5 So do not deprive each other of sexual relations. The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time, so they can give themselves more completely to prayer. Afterward they should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt them because of their lack of self-control. 6 This is only my suggestion. It's not meant to be an absolute rule. . .10 Now, for those who are married I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.
5 So do not deprive each other of sexual relations. The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time, so they can give themselves more completely to prayer. Afterward they should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt them because of their lack of self-control. 6 This is only my suggestion. It's not meant to be an absolute rule. . .10 Now, for those who are married I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.
K
I couldn't agree with you more. I cammed to realized that are this kind of women that are sensitive about fidelity...sentimental..for real or simple a women that like to talk to a lots of guys, to flirt a real desire in having a "boyfriend"... and i realized this after i saw a topic about a man that have similar situation like mine... the difference is that she is way older, they have kids... and i understand that its a category of women... because there are women who love they're husbands like crazy...able to sacrifice everything...that they are satisfied with them and it's all they need.
I'm in a great dilema...i know all this things..and at a point she confess that she has this as a weekness...
But i still love her like crazy...i know how special she is if she wants it... she was amazing with me...she made me the happiest man on the planet.. i know she has a lot of potential if she will let her self completely in God's hand...She is a special women, she has defects like all of us...
I'm in a very difficult situation... I think that only God with His great power can change anything...
Some people say that this is my ticket of getting away and recognize that she isn't the right girl for me... i don't trust my feelings right now... because my feelings are affected by the situation...
I need wisdom...patience..love, Christ love... and wait for God to action and don't go in front of Him and let His lead my way...
I'm in a great dilema...i know all this things..and at a point she confess that she has this as a weekness...
But i still love her like crazy...i know how special she is if she wants it... she was amazing with me...she made me the happiest man on the planet.. i know she has a lot of potential if she will let her self completely in God's hand...She is a special women, she has defects like all of us...
I'm in a very difficult situation... I think that only God with His great power can change anything...
Some people say that this is my ticket of getting away and recognize that she isn't the right girl for me... i don't trust my feelings right now... because my feelings are affected by the situation...
I need wisdom...patience..love, Christ love... and wait for God to action and don't go in front of Him and let His lead my way...
D
Abuse is never O.K. whether it is physical or verbal, and it destroys relationships. It sounds like there are trust issues with both of you toward the other. You don't trust her with other men and she don't trust you to not get physical with her. There are always two sides to a pancake no matter how flat it is, and I see very distinct sides, here, but when all is said and done, you cannot contol what your wife does. You cannot control her actions or her decisions. If she is bent on getting a divorce and refuses to try to work it out with you, there is nothing you can do about that. I don't know what state you are in, but where I live, a divorce can be obtained without the other person's signature. It just takes longer. My advice is you shouldn't worry so much about controlling her actions, but get yourself under control. That's the only person you can do anything about. Good luck and I will pray for you.
J
^This is the answer.^
A woman doesn't have to stay in the home for this to happen. She can move on her own. She can live with her parents. She can wait until it is crystal clear as to whether he has changed or not. That, though, does not mean she needs to be searching for a replacement while she's waiting.
It is both the husband's and the wife's job to save a marriage, regardless of the events that occurred.
When we walk in love, we're an example. It doesn't matter if it is the 'slapper' or the 'slappee' that works to save the marriage either.
We, in this world, are so quick to make things disposable. To throw up our hands and say, "That was the final straw."
Where would we be if our savior had thrown up His hands?
A woman doesn't have to stay in the home for this to happen. She can move on her own. She can live with her parents. She can wait until it is crystal clear as to whether he has changed or not. That, though, does not mean she needs to be searching for a replacement while she's waiting.
It is both the husband's and the wife's job to save a marriage, regardless of the events that occurred.
When we walk in love, we're an example. It doesn't matter if it is the 'slapper' or the 'slappee' that works to save the marriage either.
We, in this world, are so quick to make things disposable. To throw up our hands and say, "That was the final straw."
Where would we be if our savior had thrown up His hands?
A
THIS IS NOT TO SOUND MEAN, BUT MAYBE SHE WASN'T YOUR WIFE TO BEGIN WITH. THEIR WAS JUST FEELINGS AND PASSION BETWEEN YOU TWO BUT IT WAS NOT "YOUR" WIFE. MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE DIFFERENT THINGS BUT REMEMBER ONE THING IT DOES SAY IS THAT MARRIAGE IS AN EARTHLY THING AND IT BRINGS TROUBLES AND EVEN JOYS THAT THE UNMARRIED DO NOT EXPERIENCE.
S
You gotta be kiden me you slapped he in a fight and you wonder why she won'ts a divorce? Brother in the first place if you were in the light of our Lord you would never have hit her in the first place dude it is never never ok to hit!!!!!!! Our Lord says to treat our wives as Christ treated the church with un relenting love you like so many of us need to go to the Lord of our lives in repentance if I were her brother I would as a person not come back.Once no I just can't get behind this at all I am sorry you were wrong and if she ever come's back to you I would be shocked.Anger management with a deep deep submersion in the Word and pray that our Lord see's fit to put you two together agin. DAVID
B
Oh well, I am 26 years old and married, and I agree with her and even I think many here should seriously grow up! 
I do know marriage is a lot of work, and even in my early months of marriage I have seen it isn't a dance on roses either. I am not one of those naive newly wedded people having some very easy first months. But still, I beleive that God is making us stronger through this.
Marriage shouldn't only be based on our feelings and our most own needs first. I do are struggling with this a lot, and I go a lot up and down during a day, to manage keeping my feelings stable aren't always as easy. We are to forgive 7x77 times Jesus said, not just to forgive 3 times or less. I do agree that if one struggles with anger or any other bad habit, one should go to counselling or get the help that there is to get. Still, marriage is a life long process, and we are to nurture it and work on it the best we can. I love some of the attitudes one of my married friends have, she says that if her husband doesn't do his part, then she will do her part. I don't mean that one should ignore the fact that one are having problems in a marriage, one are to pray and to confront each others in love, but also to help each others to becoming more like Christ. Also one are to be based upon loving each other unconditionally, and how many marriages today are most based on getting more condtional love? Since we are humans, we of course also show love in conditional ways too, we have fleshly needs, like food, clothes, hygenie, socialising, etc... But if this is our main basics, we will get a wrong view on how love really is supposed to be. Only God can love us fully unconditionally, I don't deny that. But also we can love each others unconditionally, with God's help and mercy, We Can!
It is like with us and with God. We aren't perfect beings, and I am sure that sometimes we can feel resentment, anger and bitterness towards someone, and we might act in anger, might be through words and actions. How does God sees this? Does He says; "If you do this again, hell is awaiting you?" Sure, if we don't regret and keep on sinning, it won't make God happy(although He won't stop loving each one of us, no matter how blindly we might sin). But if we really are sorry about this, repent and ask for forgiveness, He is merciful, gentle and a very forgiving Father. If one person is truly very sad about whatever he/she has done, there should be forgiveness, and also more new chances. I beleive God is a God with brand new chances everyday. I am not perfect myself, and I can sin often, but every morning is a new day full of new chances given by God to us.
I am now not a perfect forgiver myself yet, there is so many issues I still find difficult to lay behind. Nor am I perfect with loving my husband unconditionally, because I never were loved unconditionally by my own parents, I have lack of love since 'cause of my childhood. But I am not giving up, and I have a very patient and good husband. I beleive God will help us through, and help us with growing stronger as a couple in Him. Marriage is a very huge step, and also a lot of work. But with God's help, and having Him as the center, all marriages can suceed and find good and healthy solutions to every problem there might be.
I beleive God will be healing, restoring and building up many marriages and relationships in our times. There is so many broken people out there, many of us are falling so much astray from God's path. The devil is walking around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. As Christians, we are to be awake and aware for any signs of destruction, and don't give in to what the devil has in store. To many give up to easily in marriage, getting a divorce today is so easy nowadays. Where are the great warriors/fighters in a marriage today, willing to battle through good and bad times? Earlier times it was almost impossible getting a divorce, one had to be having a very good reason for divorcing.
Also when this girl says she doesn't loves him anymore, is she perhaps based more on feelings? Real Love is never solely based on feelings, love is more a choice than what we feel. And loving isn't always a easy choice, whenever we feel rejected, bitter, and angry, do we always feel like loving? No. But still we can choose to love. We might not always feel love, but despite to whatever we feel, we can choose to show love. The best sacrifice is when we give up ourselves and choose our partner first above our own needs and wants, when we choose to put them first than ourselves. It is a very trying choice to do, and I confess that I am still struggling with this. But I know that with God I can make this, and that in Him I can get the strenght I need to endure this.
Now, there is always two sides of story in a marriage. There are two victims in a marriage, the husband and the wife. There are two sinners in a marriage, the husband and the wife. None of them are pure, and both of them have the guilt. Only with God as the center, one can suceed in a marriage. Only with God, both can become pure and holy in a marriage. One has to confront one another in God's love, but also not push out whatever sin there is in a relationship. One shouldn't have sercrets in a marriage, that will only break the trust that is in their relationship. One is to confront what is in the darkness to come out in the light, one is to let the truth come through. Because only truth sets one out in total freedom. One is to also pray for God's wisdom and help, one is to do as much as possible, try all the help that there is, everything, before any thought of divorce comes up. Divorce should be last you ever suggest thinking of.
I do know marriage is a lot of work, and even in my early months of marriage I have seen it isn't a dance on roses either. I am not one of those naive newly wedded people having some very easy first months. But still, I beleive that God is making us stronger through this. Marriage shouldn't only be based on our feelings and our most own needs first. I do are struggling with this a lot, and I go a lot up and down during a day, to manage keeping my feelings stable aren't always as easy. We are to forgive 7x77 times Jesus said, not just to forgive 3 times or less. I do agree that if one struggles with anger or any other bad habit, one should go to counselling or get the help that there is to get. Still, marriage is a life long process, and we are to nurture it and work on it the best we can. I love some of the attitudes one of my married friends have, she says that if her husband doesn't do his part, then she will do her part. I don't mean that one should ignore the fact that one are having problems in a marriage, one are to pray and to confront each others in love, but also to help each others to becoming more like Christ. Also one are to be based upon loving each other unconditionally, and how many marriages today are most based on getting more condtional love? Since we are humans, we of course also show love in conditional ways too, we have fleshly needs, like food, clothes, hygenie, socialising, etc... But if this is our main basics, we will get a wrong view on how love really is supposed to be. Only God can love us fully unconditionally, I don't deny that. But also we can love each others unconditionally, with God's help and mercy, We Can!
It is like with us and with God. We aren't perfect beings, and I am sure that sometimes we can feel resentment, anger and bitterness towards someone, and we might act in anger, might be through words and actions. How does God sees this? Does He says; "If you do this again, hell is awaiting you?" Sure, if we don't regret and keep on sinning, it won't make God happy(although He won't stop loving each one of us, no matter how blindly we might sin). But if we really are sorry about this, repent and ask for forgiveness, He is merciful, gentle and a very forgiving Father. If one person is truly very sad about whatever he/she has done, there should be forgiveness, and also more new chances. I beleive God is a God with brand new chances everyday. I am not perfect myself, and I can sin often, but every morning is a new day full of new chances given by God to us.
I am now not a perfect forgiver myself yet, there is so many issues I still find difficult to lay behind. Nor am I perfect with loving my husband unconditionally, because I never were loved unconditionally by my own parents, I have lack of love since 'cause of my childhood. But I am not giving up, and I have a very patient and good husband. I beleive God will help us through, and help us with growing stronger as a couple in Him. Marriage is a very huge step, and also a lot of work. But with God's help, and having Him as the center, all marriages can suceed and find good and healthy solutions to every problem there might be.
I beleive God will be healing, restoring and building up many marriages and relationships in our times. There is so many broken people out there, many of us are falling so much astray from God's path. The devil is walking around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. As Christians, we are to be awake and aware for any signs of destruction, and don't give in to what the devil has in store. To many give up to easily in marriage, getting a divorce today is so easy nowadays. Where are the great warriors/fighters in a marriage today, willing to battle through good and bad times? Earlier times it was almost impossible getting a divorce, one had to be having a very good reason for divorcing.
Also when this girl says she doesn't loves him anymore, is she perhaps based more on feelings? Real Love is never solely based on feelings, love is more a choice than what we feel. And loving isn't always a easy choice, whenever we feel rejected, bitter, and angry, do we always feel like loving? No. But still we can choose to love. We might not always feel love, but despite to whatever we feel, we can choose to show love. The best sacrifice is when we give up ourselves and choose our partner first above our own needs and wants, when we choose to put them first than ourselves. It is a very trying choice to do, and I confess that I am still struggling with this. But I know that with God I can make this, and that in Him I can get the strenght I need to endure this.
Now, there is always two sides of story in a marriage. There are two victims in a marriage, the husband and the wife. There are two sinners in a marriage, the husband and the wife. None of them are pure, and both of them have the guilt. Only with God as the center, one can suceed in a marriage. Only with God, both can become pure and holy in a marriage. One has to confront one another in God's love, but also not push out whatever sin there is in a relationship. One shouldn't have sercrets in a marriage, that will only break the trust that is in their relationship. One is to confront what is in the darkness to come out in the light, one is to let the truth come through. Because only truth sets one out in total freedom. One is to also pray for God's wisdom and help, one is to do as much as possible, try all the help that there is, everything, before any thought of divorce comes up. Divorce should be last you ever suggest thinking of.
B
If you are sincere in not losing your wife, you better quit doing everything that will concern her. Be debt, be blind and leave your emotions. Let her do what she wants with other guys. Anyway you will lose her by divorce. At the same time you do what her friends are doing to her in a much better and loving way. Later on she will realized what she is doing is worth nothing and find out that you really love her. At least you may still win her physically although losing some honor.
J
The bible does not even say an abusive relationship is grounds for divorce only infidelity. Keep praying for God to help you in this situation but also take the step and get some anger counseling for yourself and maybe even to show her you care. If she gives you a divorce though you are not in the wrong other then for your past sins which cant be held against you. Then you can treat it just like if an unbeliever were to give you a divorce brush yourself off and renew yourself in Christ.
B
Kevin, if you really want to make her happy just leave her alone, sign up the divorse papers and forget about it. Stop playing the role of victim. Before getting married you saw something was wrong, even so you wanted to get married with her. You slapped her 3 times, 3 times is enough. The fact that you do not want to divorce now does not matter, you should think things better before they got to this point. Do not say you do not want to divorce because God does not like, before hitting her did you think about what does God likes?, Of course not. Enough crap, let her alone.
If she is now or was doing bad things, this is between her and God. He would judge her on his time.
Hope you understand it is over.
If she is now or was doing bad things, this is between her and God. He would judge her on his time.
Hope you understand it is over.