Narcissistic spouse

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oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
7,433
287
83
#21
it's time to 'step-out-and=away', if you have any Faith in your Saviour,..
the first-step is always the hardest, but when you take it in Faith,
He will never leave or forsake you, as your 'so called husband has'...

it is on you to 'set the example for family', so that this doesn't become just another
repetitive-family-situation, where NOTHING every really gets resolved or
'fixed'...Trust your Saviour, remember, He died for you, this should give
you some kind of understanding of the real VALUE that He has for you,
even if nobody else does...
 

Solemateleft

Senior Member
Jun 25, 2017
130
6
0
#22
Hi Amanda, I can empathize with your situation - my prayers to you and your family... Evidently the narcissist - codependent dance is a very real dance... I'm glad that you are finding comfort and prayers from within the forum.

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm

God Bless
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,155
198
63
#23

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,797
91
48
#24
What happens when you finally accept the fact that your spouse is a narcissist? You have danced around it for years. You tried to believe it wasn't so.
Glad you finally woke up and smelled the coffee.. Sometimes our own emotions get in the way of seeing the obvious. I doubt his narcissism is something you can change, so you've got to deal with what you've avoided for years. Just don't contribute to your predicament by being codependent. And don't buy into his excuses ("he says he cant do anything about it").. Only 'he' can do something about it. Tell him if he doesn't, you won't resent him, you'll just leave.
 

Parone

Junior Member
Oct 30, 2017
2
0
0
#25
Narcissistic partners: It can often take years to work out that you are married to a narcissist. A lot of people don't fully comprehend that narcissists are not necessarily loud, proud and extroverted. Covert narcissists who in my opinion are more dangerous and damaging often go unnoticed until the amount of emotional abuse begins to affect the husband or wife. Most church leaders will say that it is okay for a wife to leave her husband if her life is in danger through physical abuse. Emotional abuse, in the form of manipulation, withholding affection, verbal insults, controlling behaviour and then being accused of this oneself can cause mental instability to the person and affect their own faith. Many narcissist men abuse their wives sexually too. Overt ones will often demand sexual activity and be prone to having affairs, covert ones on the other hand especially cerebral narcissists can withhold sexual activity and other forms of affection as a way of controlling the wife. I have seen so many Christian blogs with headings like, 'My Christian husband never wants to have sex' Now some men might have genuine physical problems that prevents them from making love to their wives however they would still kiss and cuddle. Narcissists however do this as a way of controlling, punishing and getting enjoyment out of the wife's frustration. If your husband has been a Christian for a long time, heard the gospel and read the scriptures yet still a narcissist he will likely never change. You have to then decide, do you stay with him because you believe that leaving him would be sinful and dishonouring to the Lord, or do you break free and protect your own and that of your childrens' mental wellbeing. I personally would leave him however would recommend that you have good support round you because at the point of separation you will be at risk. Hope that it all works out.
 
H

heartofdavid

Guest
#26
A narcissist is just a normal human in exaggerated operation.
The most natural state is to gravitate to narcissism. The next step is self worship.

But the redeemed have no lot in that dimension or any degree of it.
We are not our own,we are bought with a price.
Our lives are a sacrifice. We were supposed to settle that at salvation. The dilemma with a narcissist for a spouse is kinda our own fault.
We simply chose a bad mate. The problem niw takes on a separate complication, others don't see it,and God honors the narcissist as well as any other believer.
Relief comes 2 ways , either lateral or vertical.
IOW, DAVID danced before the Lord,was criticized and despised by his wife and she was stricken barron.
Miriam criticized moses and was stricken with leprosy.

To seek other's change COULD evolve into witchcraft,as that is their playground.

So, be like David and moses,totally blown out for Jesus, and then just hide and watch.