Hi again Valval,
There is true beauty in a home where everyone is living according to God’s will as given us in the Bible. There is also beauty in a home where even just one person is living according to God’s perfect will. And, it is contagious. Yes, it is the husband’s responsibility to take the leadership role in financial matters and many other things in the home. It would be nice if your husband were reaching out for direction but he isn’t. To your credit though you are. There are many things you can do to help bring things into line with God’s will in your home. It will be hard and take much humility and sacrifice on your part, but I believe the rewards will be priceless to you, your husband and God. I am not saying you are not already doing the following but it is all worth prayer and consideration.
Show him respect even when he doesn’t deserve it. This has been proven (by my wife and many others) that this is what a man needs. It has done wonders in changing me to give Pam what she needs. It is no wonder though as you see in the following verses that this is the very thing God tells the wife to do.
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife [see] that she respects [her] husband.
Ask him for advice and direction on things and then be willing to follow that advice even if it seems ridiculous (unless it goes against God’s Word). Remember you are following God’s direction first and foremost. Whatever the results of bad advice or direction that he may give is temporary (short of sin of course).
Great resources on love and respect in the marriage is: loveandrespect.com
Be submissive to your husband (unless of course it goes against God’s word) even when what he is doing or requiring seems totally unreasonable or unfair.
Eph 5:24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything.
1Pe 3:1 ¶ Wives, likewise, [be] submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
Be humble and meek.
Jas 4:6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble."
Jas 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.
You can do all the right things, but if they are not done in the spirit of meekness with humility it won’t be nearly as effective. There is also great power in meekness.
Prevent a disagreement by giving a soft answer. Proverbs 15:1 NKJV 1 A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. Excellent way to stop a fight before it starts. (Much to my embarrassment Pam and Darlene have had to apply this to me and it WORKS!!!).
Being married you are now both one. As mentioned by someone in an earlier post this goes for money as well. It would be very powerful to sign your check and give it over to your husband and ask him to do what he feels is best with it. Probably sounds crazy but the message of trust this sends will be very powerful. Again, it is God who we are following and trying to please here.
Mr 10:8 'and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Please remember this is as much God’s marriage as it is yours and your husbands. In God’s eyes when we make the marriage vow with Him it is permanent with the exception of death of a spouse and possibly the exception of adultery. It is worth every effort and ounce of humility you can muster to make it work. It is by but the grace and mercy of God that Pam and I are still together (We didn’t become Christians until later in life.). We made many mistakes and in many ways I was probably a lot like your husband is now. I can only say that I have thanked God many, many times that Pam and I are still together after all these years (36 I think!). Stay strong in the Lord. With God YOU can do anything - including this.
We are praying for the both of you.
Take care and may God bless you richly.
