I think they key to the problem is that he is lazy and not fit to be your husband, if he layed around for 3 full years doing nothing, he is a bum, pure and simple, he is not going to change , he is disrecpetful to you, and it is very obvious to to those on the outside looking in, he needs to be on his own, so that he can grow up. My advice it to dump him asap.