Please Help!! Marriage on the line!

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christepidemic

Guest
#21
#21
Just a word of encouragement for you sister...3 years into my marriage I confessed three acts of infidelity to my wife in the same night. With Christ's help, last November we celebrated 13 years of marriage together! The marriage can be healed! BUT only if you both are committed to each other, prayer, and the healing process!!! My marriage is better now than it ever was, and because of her loyalty to me and her willingness to forgive me/work through this...now I only have eys for her! ALL MEN STRUGGLE WITH LUST! We are tortured by it! It is a good sign that your husband came forward with this! He needs to find a good Christian friend/accountability partner if he is going to heal from this and maintain future strength!
 
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Angelwilliams06302007

Guest
#22
#22
Hi my name is Angel I think that maybe you did not really forgive him. You forgave him with your mouth and not your heart and forget about it. I understand that it probably hurts because I'm married and I would be hurt if it happens to me. The most important thing is that he told you and he apologize because some men want tell you anything. If he can be honest to tell you something like that he must really care about you and is really hurting behind it. You know that temptation comes at you hard when God wants you to do a job for him and you know the devil is here to steal, kill, and destroy and he would use anything and anyone to break you down. So don't let him get to you and mess up your marriage you married him for better or for worse to death do you part and I don't think that should mess up a happy home. Just keep praying about it and yall get together and pray to God to restore yall marriage and repent. God bless and I hope I could help
 
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DNB3

Guest
#23
#23
Please, I strongly urge you to go to MommyAdviceColumn.com - she just dealt with this exact issue last week - I think it will help you. In the meantime, I will be praying for you.
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#24
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
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#24
A woman I know went through this. She said that She too had difficulty finding the love she had for her husband again. Finally she began to pray every day and whenever she felt the anger , Jesus, give me your love for my husband. By this she found healing. I applied it myself when my husband did something that broke my heart , by doing so I discovered an even greater love for him that has forgiven all. I will keep all of you in my prayers. God bless, pickles
 
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jgrig2

Guest
#25
#25
sisarie said:
Can anyone out there help me? My husband recently told me that he had a one night stand with another woman. He says he's sorry and that it only happened once and he felt so guilty about it that he had to tell me. We had several long talks about it, and I have decided to try to forgive him and stay married. We have an eight month old daughter, and I truly believe that we should both be here for her. Also, I love my husband with all my heart and I know that we are supposed to love and forgive as God loves and forgives. But my problem is that now I can't seem to bring myself to sleep with my husband without thinking "he probably did this with that woman". I haven't been able to be intimate with him since he told me, and I don't know what to do about this. I don't spend all my time thinking about what happened during any other time, but when he tries to touch me, I can't stop thinking about what he did. Does this mean that I'm not truly forgiving him even though I think I am? How do I get past this? What can I do to help things get back to normal? I just want this to be over!!! HELP!
Click to expand...
1. I suggest talking abotu this with your pastor or an elder at your church.
2. Talk to your husband how your feel... it will take time and frankly he should wait a bit.
3. Remember if you have made this choice you cannot go and change your mind in the future because you just can't stand it. Divorece is permitted only in the situaion of adultery in the Bible or physical abbandonement and the only way a New Testament church should permit a divorce (and sadly) is if Church Discipline to some degree is exercised.
 
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Northernlight

Guest
#26
#26
I feel your pain... the similar thing just happened to me. You just have to trust God and take it one day at a time. Be honest with your husband and give your fear to God ...put it in his hands. I'll pray for you!
 
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Manyol

Guest
#27
#27
I was reading through and hope to add something from what has been covered so far. First we know that the only legitimate cause for married couple to break up is fornication (Matt.19:3 f.) because every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that commits fornication sins against his own body
(I Cor.6:18). However, Paul counsel in I Cor 7:12-13 for someone who wishes to dwell with their spouse gives no one an absolute right to throw them away. Therefore, you have the choice either to put him away or not. I just want to put an emphases on this since we as pilgrims in this world has been so influence about the worlds idea of compatibility, and a host of other garbage when the true essence of marriage is preservation and sanctification and the fruit of it is our offspring. Much of what you can do is prayer and his support to make you go through. Finally I Cor 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer: and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
 
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Broern

Guest
#28
#28
The hurt that Sisarie experienced was so great and it really goes on and on among wives regardless of race, culture and religion. My message may be late but I am sure more wives shall be interested to peek on this subject matter. I believe most if not all men have chosen the best and have sincere love and honor in the first wife they married. Sorry for those who are divorced and I don't want to go for any argument.

There is a well known Bible verse that says, "My people perish for lack of knowledge." Let me share a little knowledge to those interested. Men and women have a lot of differences from start and this must be considered and accepted by married couples. During courtship, a girl and a boy are not really showing their real self and attitudes when together. They just pretend and always did what their partners wants and desire just to impressed each other. Both feels happy because one sacrificed all the time just to give way to the wants of the other. And therefore courtship is always feeling like heaven.

Once married, the husband and wife feels that marriage contract was like a police handcuff that both can not get away from the other. The situation now changed. Both shows their real self while thinking they are binded by the invisible handcuff. The past courtship sacrificed and care for the other now shift to the care and satisfaction of self needs and desire. Hence, no couples in the whole earth will have a smooth sailing and stress-free married life from start. Example, a wife must learn to control emotion against the husband and accept the present experience for start. Then, try to learn and apply what can be done to improve the situation looking towards the future relationship. This goes the same thing as with the husband.

There are a lot more to say to save your marriage but this place is not the right venue and not enough. I hope this short message will open the heart and more husband and wife shall thirst for knowledge both in God's word and physiological matters.
 
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halaluyah

Guest
#29
#29
This is Normal, It will be alright
 
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Maryam

Guest
#30
#30
I am so sad to hear about your situation. I am married to a Christian Arab and we live in the Middle East. Because so many Arab men go abroad to study there is only 1 man for every 5 girls in his country. As a result, girls are often throwing themselves on my husband and ignore the fact that he is married. I worry sometimes because he is much more sexual than I am. Although my husband never physically cheated on me, he had some innapropriate friendships with other women. We started to have problems in our marriage and I decided to focus on myself and my role. We forget that men don't function the same way we do. I did some reading and have learned a lot. I know that my husband would be miserable without me and me without him. We are only human and make mistakes. We now communicate much better and he even discusses our temptations. It has worked well for both of us. He feels as if I am the only one in the world he can trust and comes to me. He knows that I will not judge him because of his temptations. Since your husband has already fallen for one of those temptations you will need a great amount of healing time. God bless you and I hope you heal soon!

One book I really enjoyed reading is called: Love and Respect by Dr Emerson Eggerichs

It is not really about cheating but about the driving needs of men and women in a marriage
 
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ChristineDaae

Guest
#31
#31
Ouch.... Yes, once my beloved was looking through an old photo album, with pictures of an ex girlfriend, whom he hadn't seen since before we met. I asked him if he missed her, expecting him to say no, of course not. But he said he missed her. I was devastated, but I stayed in the relationship. He tells me he does not miss her anymore. He has thrown out the photo album. I still worry over it, but for the most part, I am happy, because I LOVE HIM and he's told me that he''ll always be there to comfort me
 
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dovey

Guest
#32
#32
You are incredibly forgiving! make him earn you back its the least he could do...I think I would require a pinky! I hope God heals it for your hearts sake!, and I know how hard it is to give trust back...considering the age of your daughter, you have time to start all over and rebuild your marriage from scratch...I honestly wouldnt take him back unless he was serious enough about loving me to go with out sex for years if necessary to get me back...YOU are VERY VAluable!! and your husband is a huge sourse of love over a life time! God Bless you and comfort you!!
 
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Sparkling_Tears

Guest
#33
#33
You need to pray that God will help you forgive him,to completely forgive him.(your husband)
And to forget. You need to understand that it was a one night stand and that he loves you,because if you don't it might make your marriage worse. You need to talk to your husband,tell him how you feel. Also I would go to a christian counselor.
God Bless!
 
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