Secret-keeping

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K

keep_on_smiling

Guest
#21
#21
Praying for you and your situation! I can see how it would be so difficult to tell your husband, but I think you have made the right decision to tell him. There should be no secrets between a husband and wife, they are in fact one. While reading what you have shared it reminded me of something someone else posted in an older thread or maybe it was even as their PM message in the chat room. It stated simply that secrets are tools of the devil. I really liked the suggestions about giving your husband a choice to know or not, but it's in these kind of situations secrets can really be more harmful than the information you are withholding.
 
K

keep_on_smiling

Guest
#22
#22
I just wanted to correct something I said in my last post :) secrets CAN be tools of the devil, they aren't always. Some secrets are fine, such as surprises and things. The devil can gain power through some. Thought I would just clear that up =]
 
O

oapercy

Guest
#23
#23
MissCris said:
Here's a bit of a dilemma I'm having:

My husband's parents are divorced, and over the last year I've grown close with his mother and her side of the family, particularly his grandmother. In some of our conversations, the topic turns to my father-in-law and details of what broke up the marriage.

I've heard far more than I wanted to ever know about my in-laws' marriage, separations, and divorce. There have been times when I literally had to just walk away while my husband's mom or grandma were talking about it, because it's NONE of my business, and I've tried time and again to tell them NOT to tell me.

The thing I'm struggling with is that my husband knows NONE of it, he doesn't have a clue what truly happened. Both his mom and grandma always tell me these things in the strictest confidence and ask me to specifically keep the information from my husband.

I don't feel right keeping secrets from him.

On the one hand, it's more HIS business than mine (although I really don't think either one of us needs to know anything about it), but if it's painful for ME to hear about, it would be 10 times worse for my husband.

On the other hand, I'm being asked to hide the truth from my husband and basically lie to him by omission.

I admit I probably haven't tried everything in my power to stop his family from telling me things I don't want to know, but I've done what I could think to do and have asked them to stop, TOLD them to stop, changed the subject, and walked away.

At any rate, it's too late to UNhear what they've already told me anyway.

Am I wrong to keep their confidence and withhold this from my husband? I feel a bit stuck. :(
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Dear,
If you are a christian, then you are one with your husband- you are the other side of him, an extension of him and a replacement of him. And what you have heard he has heard. Do not let any thing or any mother or grandmother make you twain.
Let them know you are under an oath by virtue of you faith in christ (if you are a believer), to let your husband know what you have known. In any case, God (JESUS) is our true father and mother (Psalm 27 v 10). We should therefore not expect them not to disappoint us
Percy
 
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B

BADDOG

Guest
#24
#24
Secret keep is easy ,,,, dont tell any one at all !!!! ,,,,,, and dont whisper half the story in a chat room forum
its just that easy ,,,,,, keep your mouth closed ,,, then no one can know !!!!!

its really not hard at all ,,,,, but you have whispered a few things in here and for me its wrong
you even told us just how upset your husband would be if he knew these things ????
why on earth would you do that to him ???
just crazy ,,,, but feel free to talk your head off if thats what you wish to do
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#25
#25
That's extremely helpful.
 
D

dmdave17

Guest
#26
#26
MissCris said:
Matthew-

What you say is true.

I admit I've been hoping to avoid having to share this information with my husband, I reeeeeally don't want to be the bearer of bad news. But I also don't want to be in this situation anymore.

I'll feed him good food and try to break it to him gently.
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Before, you do that, you might want to consider just who you are doing this for; him or yourself. I do not advocate lying to him directly, if he asks you, but if he is blissfully ignorant I don't think Jesus would have advocated laying the burden on him (your husband) just to ease your own. After all, that's what Jesus is for.

There is a difference between telling falsehoods and keeping silent. If your husband has no need to know this information, other than the fact that you want him to know it, you may be making a mistake.

God be with you as you confront your dilemma.
 
A

Adama

Junior Member
#27
Nov 5, 2011
7
0
1
#27
Though later than never, two will come one and one will become two. I strongly feel that you should tell him in a more wise way after consulting God through prayer or even fasting to show you the way. It is only God who orders our steps and everything we have including our ideas. So ask God to show you the best way of relaying the information to your husband and also to be a peacemaker. Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called children of God. The reason all that has happened is that God want to use you to promote reconciliation and peace in that family. Think about it for a moment
 
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