Should a Christian ever marry a non Christian?

[dervroom]

Usually (99.99%) nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

But you do have God telling ~Hosea to marry Gomer (the prostitute -- symbolizing Israel's unfaithfulness).
So... you can't put God in a box.......or force Him to do anything [even prayer & fasting -- usually helpful -- but no absolute guarantee].
*God can only give very good (Gk. teleios - perfect, "complete") gifts (a.k.a. your heart's desires). Also, "let the peace of Christ (who is Living in your heart) help decide matters for you." (Colossians 3:15).
Chuz

 

[Mayco]

It is easy to tell another not to marry a person you love.
That is tough, I know.
It will be a very tough time at first. I believe God tells us this as advice to a happier life too.
Here's the good news about God: He is a rebuilder of broken pieces of anything.
Just don't complain to Him when things go wrong, when He told you so already.

When I was little and climbing the huge fig tree in our yard, I was attempting to attach rope to the highest branch.
My mom told me to get down before I fell.
I fell, and it hurt
"I told you so."
Jesus came for the wretched like me.

I can just about guarantee, that if the "non-Christian" does not get on board soon, it will be the hardest arrangement you could ask for. It will wear you down like an ox pulling the load of the two.
It is never easy, especially when one is alone and everyone around them has someone to share life with.
Thank God, Jesus came for the weak, dumb, arrogant, selfish, self-pitied, hurt, regretful people like me.
I'd be lost without Him.

 

[dashadow]

First of all, just because someone says they are Christian doesn't mean they follow the Word of God. You're sure to find a lot of failed marriages between two people who claim to be Christians.

If we first put our trust in God, He may provide us with a suitable partner. But how are we to know the one we wish to marry is the one God sent for us? There are times I've told my wife God sent her as a blessing even though she's not the type of woman I prayed for. There are other times I've told her God sent her to me as punishment for my disobedience. After seventeen years of marriage I try not to make either statement anymore.

We don't really like using labels as a testimony to our Faith, but we both believe in God. However, she was raised Catholic and I was raised Baptist. We are both non-denominational now. I believe the difference in our beliefs has made our marriage much more difficult than it might have otherwise been. But I think a large part of the problem is also just a matter of personal character. In my biased opinion, she's much more selfish and inconsiderate than me.

Anyway, there have been times during our marriage a was trying to leave, most notably when her parents were living with us for four years. But I thank God I didn't find a way to do so. The children would have suffered for it. We all would have suffered for it.

I don't think we got to know each other well enough before we got married. But even if you think you know someone well, you might be surprised how much things change after marriage, especially after a child or two and the in-laws get into your business.

So my advice would be to put God first in all things and look for common beliefs before you marry someone. After marriage, keep God first in all things and don't let the in-laws stay more than a week or two at a time.

 

[Mayco]

Isn't it good to now that no matter how much we change and fail and learn from out really dumb mistakes, that God is always the same?
It is funny how as we grow, we think God grows with us.
He knew it all along.
He is kind to us, and knows how silly we are.

 

[Midge]

This photo is say's it all - when you are equally yoked you are going in the same direction. One cannot turn without the other following. Side by side loving God. The bible says we are not to marry and unbeliever and I am sure that is probably difficult to hear.

When my husband and I got married we were both unbelievers. Three years after we were married the Lord saved me. So, now I am married and unequally yoked. This has been a very difficult road for us and I long for christian fellowship with my husband. Every aspect of your life is affected by being unequally yoked. Ex. you go to church alone, you raise your kids in the Lord by yourself, you are persecuted for your beliefs, you pray alone, your going to heaven, your living for God, your living in Gods kingdom, etc.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice only what I experience and what the word says. 2 Cor 6:14

 

[Katy-follower]

Interesting flow there. You end your post talking about how a friend's unsaved suitor became saved thru an unequally yoked relationship. Right before that you say how your unequally yoked relationship is doing well, and how thru it your husband is being drawn closer to God. And in everything before that you cry out don't do it, it never works. I would say that you're living proof that maybe it does? True it wasn't an easy road, but your well-tested faith may just save that man's eternal soul.

You misunderstood my post and seems you read it backwards.

No, the friend would not date him, because they were not equally yoked. This then pushed him to learn more about her faith. They were friends and it was when he was eventually saved that they began dating and then eventually got married. Happy ending. She was obedient to God.

As for me, I stated I was backsliding at the time I got married. Had I have known, I would not have dated, let alone married him, because we are not equally yoked, and it's disobedient. God tells us not to do it for a reason.

After about 2 years of spiritual warfare in the home, and difficulties, God is now drawing him. The seed is being watered and he's becoming more interested in God's word, but it's been a bumpy road. It's difficult being with someone that's not interested in spiritual things, when one belongs to the world and the other to God. We're married, so the house is sanctified, but we should never go into a relationship with that as an excuse, thinking they will be saved later. God says not to do it, so we shouldn't.

 

[Katy-follower]

it effects every part of your life. raising children,

Exactly. I can't allow myself to have children with him, unless he's saved first.

 

[tribesman]

Should a Christian ever marry a non Christian?

 

[Katy-follower]

That just gave me the shivers

 

[Jeshuvan]

The Bible=Gods Word states not 2 be unequally yoked and it says what does light have with darkness,so the answer is definately no. John

 

[Katy-follower]

This photo is say's it all - when you are equally yoked you are going in the same direction. One cannot turn without the other following. Side by side loving God. The bible says we are not to marry and unbeliever and I am sure that is probably difficult to hear.

When my husband and I got married we were both unbelievers. Three years after we were married the Lord saved me. So, now I am married and unequally yoked. This has been a very difficult road for us and I long for christian fellowship with my husband. Every aspect of your life is affected by being unequally yoked. Ex. you go to church alone, you raise your kids in the Lord by yourself, you are persecuted for your beliefs, you pray alone, your going to heaven, your living for God, your living in Gods kingdom, etc.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice only what I experience and what the word says. 2 Cor 6:14

My parents married as non believers and my mum was actually saved before my dad. She told me she surrounded herself with other christians, inviting them to the house, and it wasn't long before my dad saw how loving they were, that they had something he wanted. It was an evangelist that spoke with him and he was convicted by the Holy Spirit.

I'm married to a religious man who isn't born again, so I know about spiritual warfare in the home. It's been tough, but God is now drawing him.

Your house is sanctified. You're a believer and so your new life should be evident to your husband. You need to let the light shine brightly

I'm noticing that by overloading my husband with God's word, his religion is getting pushed out. Yay! He is now getting more of God's word and about 10% of his religion. We watch daily sermons and he has a weekly bible study at work, whenever I can I send him emails with scriptures and I talk with him about biblical topics. The seed is being watered

Have you shared your testimony with your husband?

Edit: Just to add... it's often someone outside of your marriage that leads your spouse to Christ. A sister in Christ said she wonders if it's because men are leaders and God is trying to keep it that way, by having another man lead them.... Interesting.

 

[pickles]

You may think this is an easy question but it isn't.

I've seen way too many marriages fall apart over this for the answer to be yes.

So, why do Christians keep marrying non Christians? Many faiths encourage (and some demand) within faith marriage, surely it just makes sense? I see it mainly is younger Christians who believe you can out-faith marry, and I see why they can see it that way, especially when part of being a Christian is looking at people differently to others, but I have also seen the disrespect to, the downright abuse of, and the separation of children from Christian parents due to disagreements over a Christian outlook on life, marriage, children and everything.

Anyone here married to a non Christian successfully, why do you think it has gone right for you?

There is only one marraige I can speak to.
When growing up, there was a married couple in our church where the husband was an unbeliever.
The wife had a deep and abiding love for Jesus, one could always see her faith in all she did and served.
Even though her Husband was an unbeliever, he faithfully supported her in all she did, going to church every sunday, even serving in the church as an usher, he also served in many ways, painting the church, helping in any fundraiser or program that needed.
Always doing so along side his wife.
Yet he remained an unbeliever.
I always thought how wise our pastor was in letting the husband serve as he did, for such kept the man close to his wife, and the witness of all in the church.
After 45 yrs of marraige, the man passed away, still remaining an unbeliever, yet the church still had the memorial at the church, speaking to how the man served.
But the pastor also spoke for the wife, who asked that if he would.
The pastor spoke that even though the man was faitful and loving to her, serving both her and the church for her sake.
That her life still had been filled with sorrow, for she could never shared her joy of Jesus, he never understood the witness that she worked so hard to instill in their children, saddly one child loved the Lord, the other rejected any belief.
Her greatest sorrow was that he would not be with Jesus.
That her greatset joy was never alive and made one in their marraige.
That every day she lived with this sorrow, and never saw her hope for him fullfilled.

One could say their marriage was successful, by the world's standards.
But in their marraige, and as a family, there always remained a division, and the most valued of the heart, was never in agreement.

Jesus calls us who love and seek Him his bride.
What would you think if when He arrived to take us as His bride, then He refused to give us all promised, held back part of Himself ?
This is the unequally yolked marraige.
Sorrow would be all one would know.

In Jesus, God bless
pickles

 

[Nhissi7]

If we just want to keep pleasing God, then we should never marry a non believer as we are already told abt it as far as the bible is concerned. We may say that God will help us and we can change them into christian, but it is very very difficult and big challenge four us. So to avoid any bad surprises and bad consequences in the future in marriage life, better be alerted as it said in the Bible that we have nothing to do with unbelievers " Be you not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? and what partnership has light with darkness?" - 2 Corinthians 6:14

God bless u all

 

[hattiebod]

This photo is say's it all - when you are equally yoked you are going in the same direction. One cannot turn without the other following. Side by side loving God. The bible says we are not to marry and unbeliever and I am sure that is probably difficult to hear.

When my husband and I got married we were both unbelievers. Three years after we were married the Lord saved me. So, now I am married and unequally yoked. This has been a very difficult road for us and I long for christian fellowship with my husband. Every aspect of your life is affected by being unequally yoked. Ex. you go to church alone, you raise your kids in the Lord by yourself, you are persecuted for your beliefs, you pray alone, your going to heaven, your living for God, your living in Gods kingdom, etc.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice only what I experience and what the word says. 2 Cor 6:14

I am in exactly the same situation as you!! but my husband is very tolerant of my beliefs, so I am blessed. Both my children are saved, one walks in the Word, one does not...division in the home !! But seriously, it is hard, on so many levels isn't it? I take some comfort from the fact that at least I know where I stand and where he does. I have Christian friends who are married to 'Christians' but they show less fruit than my husband!! so we can marry a Christian and both be in the same place and one can grow cold...that must be very challenging too. Going to church alone is tough, its all couples at my age...or a few single women. I find I do not fit into all the 'groups' Do you find that too?
Anyway, God does know the desires of our hearts so I just tell folks, my darling husband is not saved....yet!! <><

 

[Midge]

I replied to blog - but it looks like it didn't make to your entry hattiebob - or did it? Let me know.