Should a Christian ever marry a non Christian?

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J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#21
#21
What about if I follow the passions of the flesh, and I sire a child by a non-christian woman? I believe it is my responsibility as a male to raise that child, which seems quite strongly to imply marriage. Yet, it is entering an unequally yoked relationship. One we're told not to do. How do we address that issue?
 
B

BarlyGurl

Guest
#22
#22
.. because acting like a roaming dog and making a baby is a Good foundation for "marriage":confused:
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#23
#23
BarlyGurl said:
.. because acting like a roaming dog and making a baby is a Good foundation for "marriage":confused:
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... as well as abandoning a woman to raise a child by herself makes a responsible man...

1 Corinthians 7:9
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to
marry than to burn with passion.


Deal with it.
 
B

BarlyGurl

Guest
#24
#24
1 Corinthians 7:9
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to
marry than to burn with passion.


Except that this passage is about purposing to find a mate, purity to getting married.... not acting like a wondering dog to let the consequential odds decide whom you should marry. you take many passages out of context... MANY
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#25
#25
BarlyGurl said:
Except that this passage is about purposing to find a mate, purity to getting married.... not acting like a wondering dog to let the consequential odds decide whom you should marry. you take many passages out of context... MANY
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Never once did I suggest that the purpose of fornicating was to get married. Nor did I or have I ever suggested fornication as a method to find a mate.

I am tempted to ask for some civil respect, but a wretch as I am owed none.
 
T

tdrew777

Guest
#26
#26
@Jimmydiggs - <respect>
 
B

BarlyGurl

Guest
#27
#27
>>>> a wretch as I am owed none.<<<<

Poor lil'fella...:(
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#28
#28
BarlyGurl said:
>>>> a wretch as I am owed none.<<<<

Poor lil'fella...:(
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I claim no righteousness of my own. I recognize who I am in the face of God. We humans are the most disgusting and filthy lot to have ever stepped foot on this earth. We sow sin everywhere we go from the time we leave the womb to the time we hit the grave.

I am glad it is I who is poor.
 
F

Forgive

Guest
#29
#29
The Bible makes it clear that if you are a believer, you are not to marry a non-believer. If you are not married, do not even date a non-believer, as one of the people you date, eventually, you will marry. If you find Christ after you have been married in a non-believing marriage, you are not to be divorced, but pray that your mate may find Christ and salvation through you. Its pretty plain in the Word. When all else fails, read the "Owners Manual", God gave us all the instruction we need.
 
H

hattiebod

Guest
#30
#30
Soulsearcher2013 said:
Here is a tougher one to ask then, what is you marry someone, and to begin with you both were not Christian and then one of them becomes Christian and the other one doesn't, what then? I've seen that in a friend's marriage and he went through it badly.
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I can answer this one! :) I married 29 years ago and we were both non Christians and I was saved 11 years ago. Fortunately I was led to really be immersed in the Word and was surrounded by strong, faithful loving mentors who supported me in the early days when my fervour was a tad OTT! but, my marriage is only better now, even my husband says this. I know it is not me that saves my husband, not me that will 'rescue' him. God knows the desires of my heart and I trust he will 'bring my husband home and to a belief in Him. I may not live to see it, who knows, but I do believe it WILL happen. Living with a non Christian has caused me to be more thoughtful, more patient, and less judgemental. It is tough but i love him and he loves me. I am blessed that my husband is tolerant of my faith and can see that it has only been a positive influence on our family. He has enabled me to take my children to faith camps, to church etc over the years and bring God into our daily lives. He has recently even agreed and arranged for my son to go and stay with pastor friends in the states for 2 weeks next month!! So, although it can be a challenge, its where God placed me. <><
 
M

Mayco

Guest
#31
#31
It is a hard question to answer.
The bible says no, because it really is a struggle to organize and stabilize a home life with two unequaled people.
The there's the question of a new Christian versus the more experienced Christian who has grown in there walk way ahead of the new one.
How do you un-love someone whom you fell in love with?
The one question should be, is that person desiring Christ in their life?
If the answer is no, then walk away.
It will only bring resentment for the other, when you start going to bible studies and church, while the other is at home regretting you for wasting his/her time.
Remember, the non-believer will have like-minded friends. Their pull will be a tough challenge for anyone.
"Church? Since when do you go to church? Ever since you met that Christian friend, you seem to have forgotten your friends."
And many times, the friend will try to maintain the old friends by doing things that are unhealthy for a new committed Christian relationship.
I think it is well to note, even though two people who play the guitar are at different levels of skill, their heart is still with the guitar. That is the important point.
Be sure they aren't just doing it to keep you, and then later, they decide "sorry, but this Christian thing just isn't for me" after your heart can be broken.
 
M

Mayco

Guest
#32
#32
Jimmy, it is alway the one in a happy relationship who tells the lonely to "be strong in their loneliness" or the rich who tell the poor to "be strong in your poverty."
I hear you brother, it is not easy walking this earth alone as a man.
Pray for guidance in who come into your life.
Mike
 
Katy-follower

Katy-follower

Senior Member
#33
Jun 25, 2011
2,719
155
63
#33
RickShafer said:
No.
Not ever.
Don't even try.
Don't do it.
They will pull you apart like warm cheese.
It happens but it should never be enacted upon with both parties knowledge.
Some "fair" men and women want a 'safe' partner to take care of them in their foibles.
Don't do it!!
It is NEVER worth it!!
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I absolutely agree with Rick. It's a nightmare. Don't do it!!

I was saved at 11, but backslid for many years because I didn't grow as a new believer. God had changed me, but it was at a time when there were problems in my church. The pastor stepped down, leaving the church with no leader, and there was a woman that was discouraging to me. I didn't learn and didn't grow at all, so I fell into backsliding.

During the backsliding I met someone and we eventually got married. He wasn't born again, though he identified himself with a particular religion, which he was backsliding from at the time. I was ignorant of different religions and beliefs, so I thought nothing of it.

I came back to God in May 2011 after being chastised 3 times and receiving healing, in which I promised I would never backslide again. My return then lit a fire under my husband and unfortunately sent him back to his religion. The more I grew, the more there was conflict. I knew he was in a false religion.

Believers will always face spiritual warfare in the world, but it's even worse when it's in your own home on a daily basis. Why would you want to put yourself through that? At one point we almost broke up over it. I really believe that if God wanted this marriage to end it would've happened in 2011, when everything reached it's peak. Our foundations were different. I was making Christ my foundation and he wasn't. I was trying to put God first.

Unequally yoked marriages do not work. One is born of God and the other is still in the world, therefore they have worldly desires and do not like spiritual things. One is content and the other isn't. There is a reason God mentions this in scripture and it's important we don't disregard it.

When you throw children into the mix it'll be much worse. I cannot allow us to go there unless he is first born again.

The reason I talk in past tense is not because I'm divorced, but because things are better than they used to be. God is currently drawing my husband and he's becoming more interested in scripture and sermons. We watch a daily sermon on tv and he goes to a weekly bible study at work, which a colleague invited him to (I knew he would meet a christian at work!), so he is being overloaded with scripture. He's more exposed to truth now than ever and I see God working. We often discuss scripture over dinner and he isn't bored like he used to be. Please pray that God continues to work in his life.

I know a woman that rejected dating someone, telling him she would only date a christian. He chased her for a year and then started learning about her faith. He was eventually saved and they are now happily married with a large family :)
 
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I

intercessorginger

Guest
#34
#34
No...never. The bible is clear on this.
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#35
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#35
Katy-follower said:
I absolutely agree with Rick. It's a nightmare. Don't do it!!

I was saved at 11, but backslid for many years because I didn't grow as a new believer. God had changed me, but it was at a time when there were problems in my church. The pastor stepped down, leaving the church with no leader, and there was a woman that was discouraging to me. I didn't learn and didn't grow at all, so I fell into backsliding.

During the backsliding I met someone and we eventually got married. He wasn't born again, though he identified himself with a particular religion, which he was backsliding from at the time. I was ignorant of different religions and beliefs, so I thought nothing of it.

I came back to God in May 2011 after being chastised 3 times and receiving healing, in which I promised I would never backslide again. My return then lit a fire under my husband and unfortunately sent him back to his religion. The more I grew, the more there was conflict. I knew he was in a false religion.

Believers will always face spiritual warfare in the world, but it's even worse when it's in your own home on a daily basis. Why would you want to put yourself through that? At one point we almost broke up over it. I really believe that if God wanted this marriage to end it would've happened in 2011, when everything reached it's peak. Our foundations were different. I was making Christ my foundation and he wasn't. I was trying to put God first.

Unequally yoked marriages do not work. One is born of God and the other is still in the world, therefore they have worldly desires and do not like spiritual things. One is content and the other isn't. There is a reason God mentions this in scripture and it's important we don't disregard it.

When you throw children into the mix it'll be much worse. I cannot allow us to go there unless he is first born again.

The reason I talk in past tense is not because I'm divorced, but because things are better than they used to be. God is currently drawing my husband and he's becoming more interested in scripture and sermons. We watch a daily sermon on tv and he goes to a weekly bible study at work, which a colleague invited him to (I knew he would meet a christian at work!), so he is being overloaded with scripture. He's more exposed to truth now than ever and I see God working. We often discuss scripture over dinner and he isn't bored like he used to be. Please pray that God continues to work in his life.

I know a woman that rejected dating someone, telling him she would only date a christian. He chased her for a year and then started learning about her faith. He was eventually saved and they are now happily married with a large family :)
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Interesting flow there. You end your post talking about how a friend's unsaved suitor became saved thru an unequally yoked relationship. Right before that you say how your unequally yoked relationship is doing well, and how thru it your husband is being drawn closer to God. And in everything before that you cry out don't do it, it never works. I would say that you're living proof that maybe it does? True it wasn't an easy road, but your well-tested faith may just save that man's eternal soul.
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#36
#36
Mayco said:
Jimmy, it is alway the one in a happy relationship who tells the lonely to "be strong in their loneliness" or the rich who tell the poor to "be strong in your poverty."
I hear you brother, it is not easy walking this earth alone as a man.
Pray for guidance in who come into your life.
Mike
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I have yet to have any problems that would sire a child. Thus far my loins are clean.

I'm just not sure what to do with the situation that a lot of young males in this country find themselves in. How am I as a Christian to answer them? "Impregnate her, and run with your money!" I don't think so.
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#37
#37
RickyZ said:
Interesting flow there. You end your post talking about how a friend's unsaved suitor became saved thru an unequally yoked relationship. Right before that you say how your unequally yoked relationship is doing well, and how thru it your husband is being drawn closer to God. And in everything before that you cry out don't do it, it never works. I would say that you're living proof that maybe it does? True it wasn't an easy road, but your well-tested faith may just save that man's eternal soul.
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We're told not to do it. I don't think we should intentionally set out to break God's commands.
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#38
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#38
Intentionally no we shouldn't seek it out. But that's different than saying if you're stuck in such a situation it can't work.
 
N

nonicknametouse

Guest
#39
#39
I am trying to start a forum for those of us who are married to non-believers. It is the hardest way to live when we are unequally yoked. The answer to your question is absolulty NO we should not marry a non-believer. I doubt if you can be married to a non-believer and live happy because it effects every part of your life. From money. raising children, being able to tithe ect. I know that God's word says we are to submit to our husbands reguardless, however it isn't easy. I started a poll today if you want to take a look at it. It is under living with an unbeliever, family forum. Thanks for posting this.
 
M

Mayco

Guest
#40
#40
A yoke pulls a plow by animals.
If the yoke is unequal, one pulls most of the whole load, if not all of it.
It can work, but the work by one is a lot and can affect the marriage.
 
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