So very sad

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childofking

Guest
#21
#21
Though I dont have all the answers and I respond not to be a judge of you or your husband. We all have things that we have endured and continue to endure because of love or lust. I respond out of love, care, and concern for both you and your husband. There is pain from both of you and your husband clearly has alot of it and you are suffering and feeling broken. I would advice you to seek the Lord with your whole heart sincerly praise and worship him.Give him allthe glory and all the honor and he will comfort you in his arms. He will give you unconditional love you so desperately need. Call onthe precious name of JESUS for it is him who gave his life so that you and I may have life and have it more abundantly and it is but by him that youre able to connect to the Father. He will guide you if you seek him and connect with him but in the spirit. You are not safe with your husband right now but you are safe in the Masters arms. For your safety take a leave of absence,protect yourself and seek counsel for yourself and your husband. I pray that GOD COVERS YOU and KEEPS YOU COVERED IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS. I Also pray that your husband is wiling to seek help ,accept Jesus ,and get to the bottom of his pain so that he can be made new and stop hurting you. Love you take care of yourself.
 
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Billie

Guest
#22
#22
Kelly:
I don't know your whole story but God explains what love is and what it is not in the bible:
"Love is"
Patient, Kind, it always protects, always trusts, always perseveres, always hopes, and rejoices with the truth.
"Love is not"
Proud, rude,self seeking,EASILY ANGERED,keeps no records of wrongs, it does not delight in evil, it does not envy, it does not boast, and it never fails.

The way that I see it, if God says this is love and this is the way that he loves you, do you think that he wants you to except not being loved that way by your husband? I am not saying that your husband has to be perfect, but if you are living in fear, or spending everyday wondering if this will be the day that you will finally feel loved by your husband then maybe it is time that you start letting yourself be loved by God completely and then maybe you will understand what it is truly like to be loved 100% and you won't except anything else from anyone else in your life.
God Bless <3
 
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nathan3

Guest
#23
#23
Your not obligated to stay with some one like him. Make sure you have support from family and friends and you tell them what is going on before you make any moves .With some one who has a temper such as that , even though he is your husband you have to be careful some time. It can be as walking on thin ice when around him. If you do not feel safe telling him your feelings perhaps you can get a trusted 3rd party to relate to him how you are feeling. But.I would not be with some one like that unless they change real fast. stay safe.
 
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intercessorginger

Guest
#24
#24
Dear Kelly,
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this, but you must think about your children, as well as your own well being. Abusers rarely stop at using the wife for a punching bag, but often will go on to abuse or even kill their own children. Get out while you still can. You will be more effective if you pray for him from afar.
 
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dee123

Guest
#25
#25
Oh Kelly. I understand you.

I'm in a situation that's not abusive physically, but I don't want to be in it. I've got 3 kids less than 5 years old and I'm a stay at home mom. Let me share what I've learned... and why sometime we want to stay.

1) our vows: we made a vow for better or for worse. God doesn't like divorce, etc. SATAN uses a truth and twists it into a lie to keep us bound and full of guilt for everything we do. it's why you might say sorry so much. you're walking on eggshells. Love must be given freely... or it isn't truly love. If you feel like you 'have to' do anything--even if you do it, it's not gonna be true love if you feel forced to do it by some law in your mind. You must feel like you chose it willingly.

2) We think that because other hurt us when we do wrong, God is like that. If I do something wrong or make the wrong decision, God will leave me. God will NEVER leave you or forsake you... even if you chose wrong--YOU ARE FREE, you can learn from your choices, and God will NEVER shut the door on your face, He will walk with you--YOU'RE under GRACE, like a child with their mother. I learned that you can experiment making DIFFERENT choices and just see what it's like... if you feel like you only got ONE choice, you'll be depressed and stuck. You might even blame God.

3) Let's think about the KIDS!!! Oh my! We don't want to raise your kids to learn to disrespect women. If boys, they're learning from their father how women are treated--and then they'll be making some other girls life miserable also. If girls, they will attract those kinds of men. Your girls might think that this is normal and something to endure. We don't want our girls to go through this misery!

4) STAND UP and Make a difference for the next generation! We usually wouldn't do anything for ourselves, but we might have more motivation for the kids. What would you want your daughter to do?

I say: FIND A JOB and begin to establish yourself, so you don't have to just depend on him.
 
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dashadow

Guest
#26
#26
It's sad to hear of such agony. And I am heartened by the care of the many people who have responded.

There are countless people who deal with this type of abuse everyday. My mother was one of them.

What I've always found most difficult is really breaking through to those in such a predicament. Obviously, God is the ultimate solution. And God works through those who open their hearts to Him in a way to comfort those in need.

A huge challenge is whether or not the individual in the center of the predicament allows God to move things along. At the risk of sounding harsh, people will often wallow in self-pity or get too caught up in concern for worldly possessions. I'm not saying that is the case with Kelly. But pretty much everybody here has been on the same page with some great advice. So I'll just say, take heed and take it to the Lord.
 
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ChristianGuy0

Guest
#27
#27
Sorry to hear about this. I definitely think there's nothing wrong with leaving the situation you are in.. you are at risk of being hurt.. I think the best way to do that though is to tell your family so that they can be with you as you leave the home and take your things... It could make your husband angry and you need to be protected by having other people there, some male family members perhaps.

Unless your husband cheats/has sex with someone else though, I don't think that according to the Bible it's okay to marry/have sex with anyone else, because you did marry your husband and enter a covenant with him before God. So while I think it's good that you leave the dangerous situation, I would be careful not enter into a covenant or relationship with anyone else unless he cheats on you.. Just go away from your husband and seek God in prayer and fasting and reading the word, and keep raising those kids in the Lord.

The pain you've gone through is terrible.. but God will walk you through the valley. You don't have to apologetic for anything.. there isn't a thing you can do that would justify being assaulted. I'm praying for you. I know God answers prayer so keep praying for your husband, that the change you are looking for will come. God bless you.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." -Jesus at Matt 11:28
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Missfoxieloxie

Guest
#28
#28
I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is so easy to make excuses for them and their behavior or not see it "as bad" as it actually is. I have been there and it is hard getting away. For years I found it easier to stay and just avoid his "hot buttons". I knew by his moods how it would be for me that day.

If you are staying make a plan. Should he ever snap have a plan in mind where you will go, whom you will call etc.

They don't ever change....they just get better at hiding what they do....

Praying for you.....
 
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aussie_84

Guest
#29
#29
Oh Kelly....... praying for you.I used to work for 5 years co ordiniating and leading support groups for women and children who have been affected or living with Domestic violence.It is a cycle and the emotional abuse is worse than the physical abuse as the scars and damage is long lastingIt erodes the self esteem and self worth of the victim. Domestic violence is all about POWER AND CONTROL and is very destructive to those who abuse is directed at.Over my time working saw over approximently 1000 women and kids come through the agency.I have seen and heard alot of very sad and scary stories from not only women yet kids as well.Some have not been so fortunate, need to seek some counselling so you and kids can get to a safe place away from the abuse

There is so much I want to say as heard so many stories from women on how their partners tactics and luring them back.I am here if you want to private message as I am very concerned for your safety.As I have seen and heard some tragic things.I know you are worried about house and other things and that is only natural as people to worry.God knows your circumstances and is there for you and doesn't want you to suffer.I have seen women leave with no financial security only to discover their inner strength, their likes and dreams.Then open up their own business from hobby they developed amd watched it take off and satisfaction of doing business they thoroughly enjoy and still earn decent income to support kids and the things she was scared of losing.
Will pray for you and if ever need to talk. Message me and we can organise that. Please take care
 
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aussie_84

Guest
#30
#30
As for marriage convenant that was broken by your husband's abusive behaviour.
 
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sabaqtani7

Banned
#31
Jan 12, 2013
156
1
0
#31
Kelly04 said:
Greetings :) I am new to this site. I found it by chance and so hope that I will find the strength and words of support I so desperately am seeking. I cannot go into everything I have been through,,,but it has been a lot of very very heavy things and my thin shoulders are caving in. At this time all I pray for and feel I need is love and care from my husband. He can be a very angry and abusive man,,,and this has been I feel the absolute biggest and major reason why I am where I am today. I pray to God for strength,,,for patience,,,for him to change,,,but my prayers seem to sit in the clouds. Sometimes we have 'good' days ,,, and I hold my breath and edit what I say to him in hopes that the 'good' day will continue into the next. This doesn't happen though,,,he explodes like a bomb that you didn't know was placed beside you and it destroys me everytime. I am constantly debating whether to leave this man,,,but I married him before God in the hopes we would stay together forever. There is only so much though a person can take,,,I feel like I'm living in a dream,,,a false marriage to the eyes of others. I don't know what the word 'happy' means or feels like as I haven't experienced it in many years. I apologize for the length of my post. I don't really know what I am asking for,,,maybe a prayer ? Thank you for your time if you read all of this.
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There is something so quietly strong about a woman like you. I really respect you.

I wish I could invite you to my house where you could stay for a few weeks and get some good rest away from worries. I know that you could use it.

If anything, I would ask you to find someone who will do this for you. Someone who your husband doesn't know. Somewhere you can turn to and be in company where you do not have to walk on eggshells every moment of the day because I know how you feel. It makes you feel drained, and completely exhausted. Every part of your energy is focused on doing whatever this person needs so that they can be relaxed enough to just not shout, nevermind anything else.

It becomes such a commitment that everything else in your life fades away and you find suddenly that you have less friends and people to turn to. So you invest even more in this person, all the while, you constantly put yourself down for the way that they treat you.

Every moment you spend is in two minds; who you wish to be, and who you feel you have to be.

This is not your fault. Just know that. It is not your fault.

Please, if you need to talk, don't hesitate. And please, find somewhere with solace, at least for a few weeks.

It isn't your fault.
 
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kessy001

Guest
#32
#32
Welcome Kelly,the Lord sure ordered your steps to this site. I totally agree with all the suggestion given. however considering the fact that you have been through abuse and maltreatment by your husband, i will advice that while you are away from your him, please do not hate him or habour any bitterness in your heart against him rather forgive him and pray for him and teach your kids to do same as well.

keep your self happy, don't give room for sadness, keep singing praises to God knowing that Jesus is the source of your joy not your husband. and stay close to your brothers and sisters in Christ. you need all the encouragement you can get.

I pray that the Lord, would by His Spirit comfort you, heal you and give you peace. I pray for your kids, that the Lord would touch them and father them and they shall lack nothing in Jesus name. I pray for the your husband, that the Lord would save his soul and deliver him from the shackles of darkness and that he might become a new creation in Christ Jesus. In Jesus name i have prayed. Amen!
I thank you Jesus because i know you have heard and you have answered.

Its is well with you Kelly. Shalom!
 
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