The Evils Of Adoption
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I don't even like visiting this thread anymore, I just get sick to my stomach.
Nod wanted her child just like most birthmothers do, but she and they are guilted and pressured into giving their children away. Nod however fought back and kept her child, and God bless her for it!
Despite clear repeated evidence that most birthmothers do not want to give up their children - which is logical since God creates a bond between mother and child - most people still come here and say: "The child was unwanted, so why not adopt the child away?"
I really can't help anyone with this thread, because I can't break this belief that these children are all "unwanted."
Quest
Nod wanted her child just like most birthmothers do, but she and they are guilted and pressured into giving their children away. Nod however fought back and kept her child, and God bless her for it!
Despite clear repeated evidence that most birthmothers do not want to give up their children - which is logical since God creates a bond between mother and child - most people still come here and say: "The child was unwanted, so why not adopt the child away?"
I really can't help anyone with this thread, because I can't break this belief that these children are all "unwanted."
Quest
While I have skipped the last few pages, I understand why you are against "adoption". You're not against adoption in the sense that orphans be allowed to have parents, but you're against the multi-billion dollar industry. I understand, there are many things that are "good" that are abused in the name of the almighty dollar. While there is nothing I can add to the discussion I want you to know that I understand what you mean and I accept your arguments, I hope this abuse will one day end, and in a sense it will once Christ comes back.
M
I tihink the clearest way to say it is that adoption isn't evil...but some people are.
Some people abuse both the system and the people to pull mother/father and child apart and make money from doing so...that isn't adoption in my opinion it's human trafficking.
We all wish no child was ever born into a situation where the parents cannot or will not provide and be loving but sadly it does happen, seperating parents from children should always be the last resort but it is an undeniable fact that it is sometimes neccesary and it is in situations like that when adoption/fostering becomes a very good thing whether the custody is short or long term.
Maybe the kids willl grow into adults and resent what happened and that's only natural....but that adult can never know how things might have gone had it not been done, maybe they would have been happier but maybe things would have been a whole lot worse...we can only do the best we can in the here and now and sometimes adoptive parents are better parents as many children are abused by their biological parents, it isn't always the best situation for the child, it just should be.
Can provide links to all the terrible stories out there of children being taken from parents but that is only one side of it, there is a good side whether you wish to see it or not.
Some people abuse both the system and the people to pull mother/father and child apart and make money from doing so...that isn't adoption in my opinion it's human trafficking.
We all wish no child was ever born into a situation where the parents cannot or will not provide and be loving but sadly it does happen, seperating parents from children should always be the last resort but it is an undeniable fact that it is sometimes neccesary and it is in situations like that when adoption/fostering becomes a very good thing whether the custody is short or long term.
Maybe the kids willl grow into adults and resent what happened and that's only natural....but that adult can never know how things might have gone had it not been done, maybe they would have been happier but maybe things would have been a whole lot worse...we can only do the best we can in the here and now and sometimes adoptive parents are better parents as many children are abused by their biological parents, it isn't always the best situation for the child, it just should be.
Can provide links to all the terrible stories out there of children being taken from parents but that is only one side of it, there is a good side whether you wish to see it or not.
Right now I know a christian couple that have been unable to have children.
They lost every child during pregnacy.
My prayers are that the adoption they are seeking will soon go through.
I could not find more kind and loving parents.
I know some think differantly, but consider, we all are adopted by God Our Father because of Jesus.
In fact I believe scripture says adopted.
So What would God Our Father say.
I myself have only seen joy in those that have adopted, and even in the adoptees.
I understand for those that have had sorrow in this thinking it as bad.
But attacking adoption is not the answer, forgiveness is.
The bitter heart can blame no one, but itself.
In Jesus all is made good and glorious.
In Jesus, his love heals all.
God bless, pickles
They lost every child during pregnacy.
My prayers are that the adoption they are seeking will soon go through.
I could not find more kind and loving parents.
I know some think differantly, but consider, we all are adopted by God Our Father because of Jesus.
In fact I believe scripture says adopted.
So What would God Our Father say.
I myself have only seen joy in those that have adopted, and even in the adoptees.
I understand for those that have had sorrow in this thinking it as bad.
But attacking adoption is not the answer, forgiveness is.
The bitter heart can blame no one, but itself.
In Jesus all is made good and glorious.
In Jesus, his love heals all.
God bless, pickles
A
ok i happen to be married to a man that has a sister and a brother ......they were given up by their biological mother....she wants nothing to do w/any of them.......he just recently tried to find her....when i found her and contacted her....her words were that she had no kids...they alll died her in eyes...and leave her alone....
so you saying shes wrong for giving up her kids??and before u ask me to see the video....i cant due to slow dialup......i know u hate adoption, but others dont.....its not an evil thing because there are sometimes it can save a childs life when that child has been removed from a home of abuse and put into foster care and then they are adoptive......or if a young mother who has grown up in a house of abuse and someone like her father, brother, stepfather or other male relative rapes her and gets her pregnant against her will....that is an extremely dangerous home to raise a child in....so adoption is the next best thing......i totally disagree w/thi 98% thing and i really think the senator is probably rambling to get attention but that is my opinion...thats not to start a fight ....i totally respect your opinion.....yes there are some women that should becareful about their sexual situations.....but sometimes there are women that have wonderful homes then end up single and homeless....and have no choice but to give up kids....and you are sitting here claiming how evil it all is......each situation is different and it is not our place to judge their situations....yes alot of them mothers dont want to give them up and it rips their hearts out but they know that they are doing the best they can....
i was almost there myself this past year....i almost had to give up custody of my daughter due to the fact i was homeless and she was living w/her godmother..i made darn sure she was not on the streets w/me......but by the grace of god i did not have to do that.....it was ripping me to shreds every day and so many tears that even now it almost makes me cry again.....are u gonna call me a bad mom because i would have given her up????? im a single mom because i escape a man that beat the heck out of me and he and his friends raped me when i was bed bound and wheelchair bound....but i escape and by golly the lord jesus christ saved me...he got me out.......and i was barely able to keep my daughter......
you can judge me or cut me down or anything....but its not wrong.....adoption is for women like me when we are in situations like that.....or to avoid things like that....or when we are just not capable at the time of taking care of the child.......so saying its evil is just insane...
blessings to you
deani
so you saying shes wrong for giving up her kids??and before u ask me to see the video....i cant due to slow dialup......i know u hate adoption, but others dont.....its not an evil thing because there are sometimes it can save a childs life when that child has been removed from a home of abuse and put into foster care and then they are adoptive......or if a young mother who has grown up in a house of abuse and someone like her father, brother, stepfather or other male relative rapes her and gets her pregnant against her will....that is an extremely dangerous home to raise a child in....so adoption is the next best thing......i totally disagree w/thi 98% thing and i really think the senator is probably rambling to get attention but that is my opinion...thats not to start a fight ....i totally respect your opinion.....yes there are some women that should becareful about their sexual situations.....but sometimes there are women that have wonderful homes then end up single and homeless....and have no choice but to give up kids....and you are sitting here claiming how evil it all is......each situation is different and it is not our place to judge their situations....yes alot of them mothers dont want to give them up and it rips their hearts out but they know that they are doing the best they can....
i was almost there myself this past year....i almost had to give up custody of my daughter due to the fact i was homeless and she was living w/her godmother..i made darn sure she was not on the streets w/me......but by the grace of god i did not have to do that.....it was ripping me to shreds every day and so many tears that even now it almost makes me cry again.....are u gonna call me a bad mom because i would have given her up????? im a single mom because i escape a man that beat the heck out of me and he and his friends raped me when i was bed bound and wheelchair bound....but i escape and by golly the lord jesus christ saved me...he got me out.......and i was barely able to keep my daughter......
you can judge me or cut me down or anything....but its not wrong.....adoption is for women like me when we are in situations like that.....or to avoid things like that....or when we are just not capable at the time of taking care of the child.......so saying its evil is just insane...
blessings to you
deani
J
Well questiontime
You obviously are NOT adopted You are so very wrong about adoption and how dare you post a thread about something you have no knowledge on, i myself am adopted and in most cases when i was in a children's home, the mothers left their children because they were a "mistake" etc.. Who do you think you are?!!!!? What you are saying is very un christian like and you should hang your head in shame for the rest of your life, God would want the child's safety to come first and i doubt he would be too interested if the mother had a child through a "mistake" to help the ,mother more than the child i mean of course he would want to help both but the child will be priority and how would he do this, obviously through foster care onto adoption.
So i cannot belive you think adoption is EVIL
Thre is only one evil thing around here and sadly i am talkin to him!
Don't you ever post anything so rude again! I will be watching out for your name on this site and i will comment on all of your comments if i think they are rude You have been warned.!!!!!!
jonno
You obviously are NOT adopted You are so very wrong about adoption and how dare you post a thread about something you have no knowledge on, i myself am adopted and in most cases when i was in a children's home, the mothers left their children because they were a "mistake" etc.. Who do you think you are?!!!!? What you are saying is very un christian like and you should hang your head in shame for the rest of your life, God would want the child's safety to come first and i doubt he would be too interested if the mother had a child through a "mistake" to help the ,mother more than the child i mean of course he would want to help both but the child will be priority and how would he do this, obviously through foster care onto adoption.
So i cannot belive you think adoption is EVIL
Thre is only one evil thing around here and sadly i am talkin to him!
Don't you ever post anything so rude again! I will be watching out for your name on this site and i will comment on all of your comments if i think they are rude You have been warned.!!!!!!
jonno
S
Well I have never been adopted, but my mom was. She says it like this... her mom was poor and had to put her kids in a foster home temporarily until she was able to get things together. The two homes were in the same neighborhood so the kids could be together. The people who adopted my mom found the biological father, who was a sick man, and offered him money to sign a release for her. He did and when her biological mother went to get the children she was unable to take her back in. So she was raised next to her sister she did not know was her sister until after the kids at school let her know. This was a very painful experience for her and still is. She is a strong advocate for mothers and for them to do what it takes to keep their children. She fought hard under the most difficult circumstances to take care of her own kids. Her adoptive parent's logic was..they had a lot of money and could give her a better future. They felt that her biological family was low life and they would not want her to have to live in those conditions. All she had was resentment for them and spent her teen years looking for ways to get out of their home.
My cousins wife...also adopted, but into a loving home with great people. She still is trying to deal with this part of her that seems a bit confused. It is a good thing she has a good husband and family supporting her to go through it.
Some people are very sensitive and when they are adopted they feel abandoned, they sympathize with a mother who can not take care of them, they don't understand the thinking because they are feeling consequences.
I can say that I was pro choice before I got to witness the effects of adoptions and see how ego centered self righteous people try to go and get the hero award for saving kids....before I saw child trafficking...and before studying the law.
Situations to consider:
Poor family- adopt a family
mental illness- look at statistics of mental illness in society, as long as the parent is complying with courts, going through therapy, and medication...they should be able to parent.
dying parent - no other choice,seek family guardianship first, allow parent and child to bond until the death.
rape- therapy to mother prior to the decision
abusive home- I would not support intentionally endangering a child...provide alternative of support while parents seek therapy. Abuse is a cycle that can be stopped if people get help.
I know it is ideal to give a kid the perfect home, but these perfect homes are full of sick people too. Every family has problems. Some people think that they must give up their kids because they have never known that life could be different. They may be convinced that they have no choice or no way of making a future. A person living with a healthy family on the central coast California with a BMW and a beach house, live on a higher level of the pyramid- hierarchy of needs (higher level of thinking/reasoning). Their ability to think positively is much better than - a person living in a village poverty stricken with no knowledge of how to self sustain, no education, and very little working skills. They are under trauma and survival...which is actually beginning to happen in a challenged economy here in America. This type of person is struggling to keep the foundation of that pyramid together, before moving to the next level. Would you like to be the guy to kick the sand in their face and take their kid too?
It would seem much more appropriate to get the kids out of there and put them in the beach house to some. But what then happens to the love and concern they have for their families. What happens to the family? All of that needs to be in mind when a person adopts a child. If people have money like that they could do much more to help a family. If the child is an orphan without siblings, then it would benefit them. If siblings could be kept together it is better.
My cousins wife...also adopted, but into a loving home with great people. She still is trying to deal with this part of her that seems a bit confused. It is a good thing she has a good husband and family supporting her to go through it.
Some people are very sensitive and when they are adopted they feel abandoned, they sympathize with a mother who can not take care of them, they don't understand the thinking because they are feeling consequences.
I can say that I was pro choice before I got to witness the effects of adoptions and see how ego centered self righteous people try to go and get the hero award for saving kids....before I saw child trafficking...and before studying the law.
Situations to consider:
Poor family- adopt a family
mental illness- look at statistics of mental illness in society, as long as the parent is complying with courts, going through therapy, and medication...they should be able to parent.
dying parent - no other choice,seek family guardianship first, allow parent and child to bond until the death.
rape- therapy to mother prior to the decision
abusive home- I would not support intentionally endangering a child...provide alternative of support while parents seek therapy. Abuse is a cycle that can be stopped if people get help.
I know it is ideal to give a kid the perfect home, but these perfect homes are full of sick people too. Every family has problems. Some people think that they must give up their kids because they have never known that life could be different. They may be convinced that they have no choice or no way of making a future. A person living with a healthy family on the central coast California with a BMW and a beach house, live on a higher level of the pyramid- hierarchy of needs (higher level of thinking/reasoning). Their ability to think positively is much better than - a person living in a village poverty stricken with no knowledge of how to self sustain, no education, and very little working skills. They are under trauma and survival...which is actually beginning to happen in a challenged economy here in America. This type of person is struggling to keep the foundation of that pyramid together, before moving to the next level. Would you like to be the guy to kick the sand in their face and take their kid too?
It would seem much more appropriate to get the kids out of there and put them in the beach house to some. But what then happens to the love and concern they have for their families. What happens to the family? All of that needs to be in mind when a person adopts a child. If people have money like that they could do much more to help a family. If the child is an orphan without siblings, then it would benefit them. If siblings could be kept together it is better.
Check out this amazing statistic! 97.7% of birthmothers are coerced into surrendering their babies against their will! Sick!
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If you are like most people, you may believe that adoption begins with a mother wanting and choosing to GIVE AWAY her baby. This is what the adoption industry wants you to believe. And in most cases, NOTHING could be further from the truth. A Trackers International survey of 1000 natural mothers found that 97.7% were coerced into surrendering against their will.
We are women who WANTED to keep our babies. But because of factors such as being single, ill, young, and/or just vulnerable to family and agency pressures, our babies were taken from us by force, coecion, and lies.
Some of us were still drugged from childbirth when social workers or lawyers demanded our signatures. Others of us never signed - our own parents signed away our children. Others were told that we would not be allowed to see our babies until we signed the papers. Others were told we would be responsible for hospital bills of thousands of dollars unless we signed. Some of our babies were taken from us at birth, given to adopters, and then we were told to sign as it would not matter if we signed or not - it was a done-deal. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"An agency has a responsibility of pointing out to the unmarried mother the extreme difficulty, if not the impossibility, if she remains unmarried, of raising her child successfully in our culture without damage to the child and to herself .... The concept that the unmarried mother and her child constitute a family is to me unsupportable. There is no family in any real sense of the word."- Joseph H. Reid, "Principles, Values, and Assumptions Underlying Adoption Practice", 1956 NAT'L CON. SOC. WORK. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
All of us were victims of fraud in that we were NEVER told the truth about the consequences of adoption to us or our babies - in fact, we were deliberately lied to.[/FONT]
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Our children were taken from us so the adoption industry make money, playing the role of savior to infertile couples by selling the "ultimate gift" to them at our expense, and then come out smelling like a rose for solving society's supposed welfare and moral problems. It all really came down to money ... keeping us off the welfare rolls and making money for the brokers.[/FONT]
Greetings Jonnoboy,
To begin with, I don't appreciate the threatening tone you have taken against me both in this thread and in my profile page. You are free to disagree with me, but please consider Christ in your response.
I am indeed adopted, and have had a lifetime full of problems to show for it. My major problem has always been a lack of motivation to do anything.
I have spoken with many birthmothers online, even dated one once (and she was just as much a mess as I was). I have also posted links to videos and to a webpage with more information. I would recommend that you have a look at the sources I have provided in order to better understand where I am coming from.
I provided statistics that the majority of birthmothers do not want to give up their children. My birthmother didn't want to give me up either. I do apologize if that was not the case with your birthmom.
As well, I ask you to take a moment Jonno to understand that our birthmothers were messed up people also. It's easy to shake our fists at them, but we would have made the same mistakes if we walked in their shoes.
As well Jonno - as Shanaynay mentioned - the title of this thread is: "The Evils of Adoption" not "Adoption is Evil." I may have said that it was evil at some point in this thread, and if I did I apologize and admit I was wrong. I also did agree with an excellent post in this thread from April and came to what I thought was an excellent compromise on this issue.
Quest
To begin with, I don't appreciate the threatening tone you have taken against me both in this thread and in my profile page. You are free to disagree with me, but please consider Christ in your response.
I am indeed adopted, and have had a lifetime full of problems to show for it. My major problem has always been a lack of motivation to do anything.
I have spoken with many birthmothers online, even dated one once (and she was just as much a mess as I was). I have also posted links to videos and to a webpage with more information. I would recommend that you have a look at the sources I have provided in order to better understand where I am coming from.
I provided statistics that the majority of birthmothers do not want to give up their children. My birthmother didn't want to give me up either. I do apologize if that was not the case with your birthmom.
As well, I ask you to take a moment Jonno to understand that our birthmothers were messed up people also. It's easy to shake our fists at them, but we would have made the same mistakes if we walked in their shoes.
As well Jonno - as Shanaynay mentioned - the title of this thread is: "The Evils of Adoption" not "Adoption is Evil." I may have said that it was evil at some point in this thread, and if I did I apologize and admit I was wrong. I also did agree with an excellent post in this thread from April and came to what I thought was an excellent compromise on this issue.
Quest
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K
I dont agree at all, there are cases of adoption all over the bible.
It was Gods will for Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. In order to do that, Moses mother had to sadly allow her son to be adopted by the daughter of the very pharoh who was committing genocide against all their babies.
Because Timothys father was a Greek non christian, when Paul saw potential in him as a teenager he became his mentor and then pretty much unofficially adopted him.
What about Joseph (Marys Husband). He stood tall next to his wife, knowing her baby wasnt his biologically, yet he raised him as his physical father teaching him carpentry and how to be a man etc. I would call that the best adoption of all.
Abraham adopted his nephew Lot.
Your statistics are just that - statistics. Just numbers. I bet you got them off the internet too. Anything that has not come out of a qualified research journal is to be take with a grain of salt thankyou very much.
Oh by the way, the bible says that God adopted us all. You saying God doesnt have a right to take us away from our biological parents?
It was Gods will for Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. In order to do that, Moses mother had to sadly allow her son to be adopted by the daughter of the very pharoh who was committing genocide against all their babies.
Because Timothys father was a Greek non christian, when Paul saw potential in him as a teenager he became his mentor and then pretty much unofficially adopted him.
What about Joseph (Marys Husband). He stood tall next to his wife, knowing her baby wasnt his biologically, yet he raised him as his physical father teaching him carpentry and how to be a man etc. I would call that the best adoption of all.
Abraham adopted his nephew Lot.
Your statistics are just that - statistics. Just numbers. I bet you got them off the internet too. Anything that has not come out of a qualified research journal is to be take with a grain of salt thankyou very much.
Oh by the way, the bible says that God adopted us all. You saying God doesnt have a right to take us away from our biological parents?
W
I was not adopted, but my dad did leave me when I was three. Mom said it was because he didn't want kids. Kids-that's me right? That is ok cause when I get older I will win his love back. Well, I am now 52 years old and still haven't won it back yet...But you know what? It's not his love that I need-it is God's. So stop worrying about who does and doesn't love you, who gave you up or kept you. God will never leave you or forsake you.
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