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H
You know, you may want to just talk to her about it. Sometimes women do things like that because they think it'll make you think they are sexier. She might not be doing it because it brings her pleasure, but because she is worried about pleasing YOU. Sometimes we don't always know what makes you men tick, so we try everything we can remember from TV and Cosmo hoping it's what you want. Sex isn't about satiating a need, it's about physically loving your spouse and becoming one flesh with them. It's about being able to give them something no one else can (or rather, is supposed to) and it's all about communication. Talk out your fears with her, tell her what mkes you uncomfortable, and you'll probably be suprised to find out that a lot of what she does that makes you uncomfortable is stuff she thought you would like. If she loves you enough to marry you, she should love you enough to hear you out on such a delicate matter.
D
I hear what you are saying Quest, but the Bible also says He will not be mocked. Jesus said that the vine that does not bear fruit is cut off and cast into the fire. I interpurt fruit to be living the life asa Jesus said we should and that is of obedience. I know I won't be perfect but to willfully sin and repeatededly seems too be a decision to follow the flesh. My challenge is whether or not the actions (in our bed) are against what God would think aas proper. From my own reading s and fellings I sort of have the view point Mahogony Snail said about being respectful to our vessels. I also condier what Paul wrote in Romans about how people had given up the natural use of their bodies.
A
I believe that any sexual contact and activity between a man and a wife is allowed and even encouraged by the bible.
They are together to meet each other's needs. In particular, a wife should not deny her husband sexual access at any time. There is no way to enforce fidelity in the marriage if sexual needs are not met by both spouses.
They are together to meet each other's needs. In particular, a wife should not deny her husband sexual access at any time. There is no way to enforce fidelity in the marriage if sexual needs are not met by both spouses.
H
Wow, now that sounds a little more like it.
I noticed Diver Doug you said that you and your wife were pretty good, in your first post; But what did Jesus say to the rich you ruler who called Him "Good Master?"
Mark 10:18-----Why callest thou me good? There is none good, but one, that is, God.
If Jesus, who was without sin, didn't claim to be good while on earth, than how can we say that we are good? excpesialy since all our righteousness is a filthy rags. ---Isaiah 64:6
That is why we need to walk after the Spirit of Christ.
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:1
Yep Doug, I know what you mean. But the Righteousness has to be "fulfilled in you." As the Bible says. The Law is a schoolmaster to bring us to faith in Christ. The Law constantly presses upon our conscience that we need to obey God, and so a sincere person will set out to keep the Law in it's entirety.
I have done this Doug, trust me. But it pleased God to crush me under the weight of the Law's demands. I had disciplined myself to obey everything in the Law and I just made a fool out of Christ regularly before men. I had to read my Bible for 30 min a day, Pray for 30 min a day, I had to witness to everyone, I had to reprove foul mouthed sinners in public (in love), I had to keep my place spotlessly clean, etc..
Eventually I gave up in despair over my failures, and now I feel Christ has been working on me, to bring me to faith in Himself. It's not until we realize how utterly helpless we are to become holy by our efforts, that Christ will be able to bring us to renounce ourselves and trust in Him alone.
QuakerTime
I have done this Doug, trust me. But it pleased God to crush me under the weight of the Law's demands. I had disciplined myself to obey everything in the Law and I just made a fool out of Christ regularly before men. I had to read my Bible for 30 min a day, Pray for 30 min a day, I had to witness to everyone, I had to reprove foul mouthed sinners in public (in love), I had to keep my place spotlessly clean, etc..
Eventually I gave up in despair over my failures, and now I feel Christ has been working on me, to bring me to faith in Himself. It's not until we realize how utterly helpless we are to become holy by our efforts, that Christ will be able to bring us to renounce ourselves and trust in Him alone.
QuakerTime
H
Yeah, you know, on the same level, a husband shouldn't get upset if a wife doesn't want to have sex. I know I'm not a machine designed for sexual pleasure 24/7, but it would seem my husband, at 22 years old wants far more than I can give. He loves me enough that when I'm not in the mood, he doesn't push, and I love him enough to give it to him when I'm ready. So saying a wife should not deny her husband sexual acess at any time is a little harsh. We shouldn't deny each other sex, in that even if we are in the mood we tell them no just because we can or to use sex as a tool against them. But sex should be mutual and enjoyed, not likened to a 24/7 ATM where you can hit it up any time you want.
E
The only thing is though... even within a marriage, and it sounds like your wife may be victim to this--an "insatiable" sex drive can also mean it's primary foundation is still lust, not love or God's intentions, even if you're married.
I surely can't speak as an expert, but I would suggest that maybe you and your wife seek out counseling, because in my own observations... this kind of craving for sex, even within marriage, goes beyond normal desires intended by God--it signals the roots of, or hints at, a full-blown addiction that will not be able to be contained within the marriage and will eventually look to outside sources to fuel the constant need for something "more adventurous", which doesn't have to mean other people, but maybe such things as pornography... and you will surely be pulled right into it.
And yes, I agree with everyone else... please spare the chickens... and goats... and pigs. Not only will it be undefiled sex, but PETA-approved as well!
I surely can't speak as an expert, but I would suggest that maybe you and your wife seek out counseling, because in my own observations... this kind of craving for sex, even within marriage, goes beyond normal desires intended by God--it signals the roots of, or hints at, a full-blown addiction that will not be able to be contained within the marriage and will eventually look to outside sources to fuel the constant need for something "more adventurous", which doesn't have to mean other people, but maybe such things as pornography... and you will surely be pulled right into it.
And yes, I agree with everyone else... please spare the chickens... and goats... and pigs. Not only will it be undefiled sex, but PETA-approved as well!
If you are both comfortable with what is going on, and it doesn't violate God's law, then I think anything goes. At least I don't recall there being a section in the bible about accepted/unaccepted sexual acts between a husband and wife. You are all welcome to let me know if I'm wrong.
If you are uncomfortable with some of your activity, sit your wife down and talk about it. Explain why, and listen to her reason's for why she wants it. Perhaps she is simply trying to keep you interested based on her past experience with men, Maybe she thinks this is what you want. Maybe if you talk about it you can find some common ground.
In the mean time, is she open to your faith in Christ?
If you are uncomfortable with some of your activity, sit your wife down and talk about it. Explain why, and listen to her reason's for why she wants it. Perhaps she is simply trying to keep you interested based on her past experience with men, Maybe she thinks this is what you want. Maybe if you talk about it you can find some common ground.
In the mean time, is she open to your faith in Christ?
L
This IS tricky. My opinion is that as long as there is no adultrated acts, no...other people invoved, then I guess it's ok no matter how weird it gets. Marriage as we know is meant for a man and a woman. You love each other...so....I am guessing it's ok. However if this is concerning you that much then I would recommend either talking to a counselor who specializes in marriage, or talking to a church leader.