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not anything you said.
K
Perhaps you need to read the OPs post again. He said "Last year he was dating a fine Christian girl who was headed to graduate school and worked two jobs. He said " my son gave this girl a list of demands that he expected his wife to do, such as rising early, always fixing his breakfast, always submitting to his desires." The problem wasn't that his fiance didn't appreciate him or love him. The problem is that his son seems immature.He was asking for something his fiance could not promise. She was mature enough to know that and walked away. What he was asking for was unreasonable.
Quote " It's tough in this generation"...
It's no tougher in this generation than any other. During the war people had to stand in line for hours to get rations of food and things they needed. An older friend of mine said she stood in line for hours to get diapers for her baby.
Quote "A loving wife is worth more than rubies "
Read further... the Bible says that the wife keeps the home,buys the food and sells her goods. This young lady seems like a taker,not a giver.That is not the heart of a stay at home wife. My husband said to me recently,"thank you for making our house a home" It touched me that he said that. That is what a stay at home wifes job is.
Quote " I'd rather be with someone I can easily love and that loves me back rather than be rich with someone I have to strive with for 2 years that in the end still does not appreciate me."
I think you totally misunderstood what the OP was saying. The girl he is with now has turned him against his parents. She sounds spoiled and entitled. If he does marry this girl he will soon regret it.
C
You can't judge about her. It doesn't sound good, but I don't know her heart. My ex husband had no job and he slept long. My you should have heard my parents or his mother: She doesn't clean up well enough. So what? We had to move because his mother lived right in front of us and if we on saturday when we had no kids yet slept til 1 o'clock oh beware. Your curtains were open so late. You slept too long.
We simply had to move.
He had no education so he could only get stupid jobs and I said I'll work and he became a pastor and worked hard without getting paid. The cleanness was good enough with a 4 day job. If people want to work 80 hours a week and scrub the floor with a toothbrush at 6 o'clock in the morning good luck! I won't. My sister and her husband are both messy and they don't care and are very happy together. Now there also are lazy bums who just want to profit but I have no idea if she is one. If she lives with her mom of course she doesn't have to cook every day. Some people like to not cook and eat pizza. So what?
We simply had to move.
He had no education so he could only get stupid jobs and I said I'll work and he became a pastor and worked hard without getting paid. The cleanness was good enough with a 4 day job. If people want to work 80 hours a week and scrub the floor with a toothbrush at 6 o'clock in the morning good luck! I won't. My sister and her husband are both messy and they don't care and are very happy together. Now there also are lazy bums who just want to profit but I have no idea if she is one. If she lives with her mom of course she doesn't have to cook every day. Some people like to not cook and eat pizza. So what?
K
I'll say the same to you that I said to GIS, you need to reread the OP.He said "This new girl has never had a job, at 27 years old, she lives at home with her mother and sleeps in nearly to noon every day, and spends her days doing crafts, watching movies, and hosting parties for her friends at church... Her mother works hard to support two other adult siblings at home, with one having a spouse, and a teenage son, and the mother is the only one with a job.
Does that sound right to you? Is it Christlike for her to laze around when her mother is working two jobs? Shouldn't she be willing to help however she can? Should she not be showing how grateful she is for a roof and food she's getting for free? I think you need to give this a second thought.
Idk, sounds to me like she's a church girl. Obviously for anyone to go from being single to married is going to require some change on both parts anyways. Peradventure with some encouragement that be possible. Seems to me she active in their community church, maybe building off that somewhat? Idk though, relationship stuff is not my forte, so I'll just hope best for all the parties whatever way this one works out.
She may sound like a church girl, but even more than that, she sounds like a lazy and irresponsible girl who depends on mama for room, board, food, free rent and money. Do you REALLY think she's gonna suddenly become little Miss Susie Homemaker when she gets married, and get busy doing chores and working a job? NOPE. Not if the OP's son lets her do whatever SHE wants to do, which seems to be: lollygag around and do NOTHING. jmo
C
I don't know her. It sounds bad yes but there was one girl on a forum who did that because she just had something, dunno, depression or whatever she didn't say and when she had a job she got bullied away, couldn't get another job. Or maybe she is spoiled. Who isn't? Maybe Holland is a bit different but as soon as you have to you have no choice but do it yourself. I lived in students' homes, just everyone was lazy and messy and sleeping til 11 o'clock and studying a bit. They didn't stay that way of course when they had to do it themselves.
are you talking about me? :\ lol jk!
about the OP, it is strange your son went from one side to the complete opposite. maybe, in his mind, since the original plan with his fiance didn't work, he's thinking the complete opposite will?
i don't mean to analyze anyone, but when people are in love, they're always naming all the good qualities of the significant other. what good qualities has he said about her?
a 27 yr old should be more responsible than what has been described here. [there are exceptions. for example, health issues.] i'm 32 and still live at home with my parents, but i have a job. i don't pay rent, but i help with some of the bills. i pay for a lot of my own things. i'm saving money for future plans.
about the OP, it is strange your son went from one side to the complete opposite. maybe, in his mind, since the original plan with his fiance didn't work, he's thinking the complete opposite will?
i don't mean to analyze anyone, but when people are in love, they're always naming all the good qualities of the significant other. what good qualities has he said about her?
a 27 yr old should be more responsible than what has been described here. [there are exceptions. for example, health issues.] i'm 32 and still live at home with my parents, but i have a job. i don't pay rent, but i help with some of the bills. i pay for a lot of my own things. i'm saving money for future plans.
J
A very tricky situation indeed, your son is right. He is his own man and can make his own decisions. But sometimes people can see what you're not seeing and want to express their concern.
You're his family, you got a right to know if your son will be happy. If you feel like he's putting himself somewhere that he won't. You should tell him. The best you can do is have a calm rational discussion on the matter.
You're his family, you got a right to know if your son will be happy. If you feel like he's putting himself somewhere that he won't. You should tell him. The best you can do is have a calm rational discussion on the matter.
D
I don't think your son is the only one with a blind spot. He gave a list of demands to his last girlfriend, yet you still think he is "Great Christian young man, and loves the Lord?" And your biggest fear is he'll move away? It might be a good idea.
(Sorry. I know his current girlfriend isn't doing anything right now, but that doesn't mean she won't. It also doesn't mean she'll marry him. Most of the time, people know better than to marry someone after two months. Granted, I took a week before I told him I was going to marry him, but my story is the exception to the rule. lol)
(Sorry. I know his current girlfriend isn't doing anything right now, but that doesn't mean she won't. It also doesn't mean she'll marry him. Most of the time, people know better than to marry someone after two months. Granted, I took a week before I told him I was going to marry him, but my story is the exception to the rule. lol)
B
I just wanted to say "no matter how flat you squash a pancake, there are two sides." I can't cast any judgment with a degree of accuracy when I've read one point of view, so instead I'll speak on the facts of the scenario.
He's a 29-year old man. You and your wife sound like intelligent and God-loving Christians. Trust your parenting skills. I can only imagine what it's like to want to stop your child from making what you appear to be a big mistake. Our plan on this Earth is to strive to live as perfectly as possible and following the commands, but our sinning is inevitable. That is why Heavenly Father sent his son to atone for the sins of mankind. Let's assume worst-case-scenario: He marries her and it ends in divorce and heartbreak for your son. He has the ability to turn that mistake into a learning experience. He's that much wiser and stronger as a person if he has the tools to learn from his mistakes.
I agree with everyone who says you'll only push him (and her) away with the contempt in your heart towards her. Ask yourself this: Would I rather maintain my close and loving relationship with my son and have our son merry this woman or would I rather damage my relationship with my son and have our son merry this woman anyway. Either way, your son won't be manipulated into not merry her, at the very least, you still have a good relationship with him by taking a step back.
God bless you and I hope Christ brings peace into your hearts.
He's a 29-year old man. You and your wife sound like intelligent and God-loving Christians. Trust your parenting skills. I can only imagine what it's like to want to stop your child from making what you appear to be a big mistake. Our plan on this Earth is to strive to live as perfectly as possible and following the commands, but our sinning is inevitable. That is why Heavenly Father sent his son to atone for the sins of mankind. Let's assume worst-case-scenario: He marries her and it ends in divorce and heartbreak for your son. He has the ability to turn that mistake into a learning experience. He's that much wiser and stronger as a person if he has the tools to learn from his mistakes.
I agree with everyone who says you'll only push him (and her) away with the contempt in your heart towards her. Ask yourself this: Would I rather maintain my close and loving relationship with my son and have our son merry this woman or would I rather damage my relationship with my son and have our son merry this woman anyway. Either way, your son won't be manipulated into not merry her, at the very least, you still have a good relationship with him by taking a step back.
God bless you and I hope Christ brings peace into your hearts.
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