Why does the enemy attacks seem more frequent as you trt and walk closer to God?

[Ariel82]

oh sis... if they gotta read and write a biography thats small written and old school like that...it will become hell to them LOL!
Wait.. your son does a chore and you write him a thank you note?
of course apologizing is okay but they should apologize to each other and you gotta get em under control sister (please dont get offended by that. Im not trying to tell you how to raise your children. I am just worried about future consequences if it may not get under control)

He did a chore without being reminded to do it. Encouraging positive behavior.

Typically they get themselves dressed and ready for school each morning without help or need supervision. Their teachers love them.

Last year my daughter's teacher was touched and encouraged because my daughter (with no prompting from me) would make cards or letters telling her she was a great teacher...apologizing for the behavior of her classmates, etc.

I guess she picked it up from watching me and I didn't even realize it.

Randomly I will make notes with Bible verses, paper tissue flowers and give them away to people: strangers and friends alike. People would ask why?

I would tell them because I wanted them to remember that God loves them and so do I.

So the note was more of a reminder of God's love and my acknowledgement of his heart of trying to please than a reward of doing what is expected.

It will be a surprise because I don't do it that often.

Actually never done it before, just an idea that came while I was praying about the situation.

 

[JosephsDreams]

Consequences:

No tablets or electronics
Extra chores
Letters of apology
Grounded to separate rooms
No play dates with friends

I have threatened but they havent push enough: no scouts, karate...just stay home and clean on the weekends, no aquarium, beach, lake, hiking trips, etc.

We do a lot with our kids and if they don't know how to behave, they know mom can cut out lots of fun activities.

Try doing the reward system mixed in with the take away system. Look it up on the net. Generally you get better long term results with rewards and higher motivation then with holding back. I am not suggesting there is not a time for limiting as discipline, just that, imho, the majority of it should be rewards.
It may take time to catch on with them, til they get it, but when it does, you may find you like it better too and with better results.
And an added bonus is that you personally may have more fun with it, as you don't have to sometimes feel like your always being the bad gal. As most parents do, from time to time when taking stuff away; it's natural.

 

[sassylady]

Ok, the root is picking. But kids are kids, they are in training (hopefully) and they don't learn the first, second or even third time they are told not to do something. Bringing up kids is a long process to reach a goal of having honest productive members of society.

I've screamed at my kids too. It's pretty difficult not to stay completely calm in a situation like that, especially when you get woke up to it. I've had to sit down and talk with my kids and first admit I went overboard. There are ways to work out situations and consequences ahead of time so you have a plan to deal with things.

Don't beat yourself up over it. If all parents are honest they have all probably slipped like that too.

 

[Ariel82]

Try doing the reward system mixed in with the take away system. Look it up on the net. Generally you get better long term results with rewards and higher motivation then with holding back. I am not suggesting there is not a time for limiting as discipline, just that, imho, the majority of it should be rewards.
It may take time to catch on with them, til they get it, but when it does, you may find you like it better too and with better results.
And an added bonus is that you personally may have more fun with it, as you don't have to sometimes feel like your always being the bad gal. As most parents do, from time to time when taking stuff away; it's natural.

Oh our lives are planned around activities they enjoy doing: visiting beach, aquarium, camping, spending time watching movies, reading books aloud, having friends over, girl scouts and boy scouts, church, etc. So they know that if they meet expectations they get to do what we planned.

If they dont, we replan the whole day/week.

I don't want them only to do what is expected because they expect a reward in return.....like training a puppy with treats.

I want them to do what is expected because they see how when they don't it messes up and takes time away from normal enjoyable life activities to have to suffer the consequences and be lectured, etc.

 

[Ariel82]

Ok, the root is picking. But kids are kids, they are in training (hopefully) and they don't learn the first, second or even third time they are told not to do something. Bringing up kids is a long process to reach a goal of having honest productive members of society.

I've screamed at my kids too. It's pretty difficult not to stay completely calm in a situation like that, especially when you get woke up to it. I've had to sit down and talk with my kids and first admit I went overboard. There are ways to work out situations and consequences ahead of time so you have a plan to deal with things.

Don't beat yourself up over it. If all parents are honest they have all probably slipped like that too.

Thanks we are good now.


Thanks for everyone's prayers and comments.

 

[oldethennew]

when we were growing-up, our little lives definitely were not daily 'pre-planned or even planned'
around 'fun-activities' not even close!

school was our day-business, and when we got home, 'school clothes OFF' 'daily clothes ON' -
'work' in the house became our business', school work, housework, boy and girl chores before going OUT
for ourselves to PLAY a little before dark...then help if asked in preparing supper and take our turn of
washing or drying the dishes...QUITE a contrast, huh?

evening had by then come on pretty high and we were pretty tired, especially if we had had time to go
OUTSIDE and PLAY for a little while...

 

[Ariel82]

Yeah we still have school work, house work, chores, help with dinner...then


Monday they have scouts
Tuesday karate
Wed we have dinner at the church and they have free time after their the while we are meeting our Christ care group
Thursday family time/movies/games
Weekends are different.

Sometimes we camp all weekend.

Other times we do family activities after chores that didn't get done during the week. Sunday church in the morning. Youth group/choir/Christ care meeting in the evening. Sometimes we go shopping Sat or Sunday.

Normally Sat i like going for a hike in the woods, swimming at lake, beach, aquarium etc. Sometimes kids have friends join us.

However if they didn't do chores or in trouble they lose options.

Also there is the summer.

 

[PeterJens]

This morning I woke to kids screaming and yelling at each other and I admit I yelled back.

My son is eleven and just started middle school, sixth grade.

My daughter is eight and in 3rd grade.

Apparently my son was shooting his dart gun in the hallway and his sister kept screaming for him not to shoot her or something. I thought I heard her screaming about him taking her dress pants.


I don't know. He has a habit of picking and teasing his sister and she has a habit of overreacting to his actions (even when he isn't doing anything she will accuse him of messing with her. I know this because he would be with me in the living room when she starts screaming at him.)


Yeah I know, I should talk to them about screaming. How do you do that without being a hypocrite?

Well they know mom isn't perfect. I hope they know how much both their parents love them. Typically they do good. They do their homework or play games together for hours on Wed when my husband and I participate in our Christcare group.

I don't know it just weighs in my heart. If you would join me in prayer for all children and the schools this morning.

Amen sister, you give as good as you get.
Kids need to know the impact they have on others, and no better person than
the person who loves them the most.

There is no greater gift you can give you kids for them to know these difficult
emotions and when they go too far early enough in life so no one gets badly hurt.

And after it all, to forgive the other party and carry on with life and love.
So so so so so many have got hurt, unloved, unreal and lost contact with themselves
so as adults all there is is surface and mess. That is just the worst place any of us can
end up. So Halleluyah and pass the ammunition...

 

[Ariel82]

Thanks for the encouragement Peter.

 

[Dan_473]

This morning I woke to kids screaming and yelling at each other and I admit I yelled back.

My son is eleven and just started middle school, sixth grade.

My daughter is eight and in 3rd grade.

Apparently my son was shooting his dart gun in the hallway and his sister kept screaming for him not to shoot her or something. I thought I heard her screaming about him taking her dress pants.


I don't know. He has a habit of picking and teasing his sister and she has a habit of overreacting to his actions (even when he isn't doing anything she will accuse him of messing with her. I know this because he would be with me in the living room when she starts screaming at him.)


Yeah I know, I should talk to them about screaming. How do you do that without being a hypocrite?

Well they know mom isn't perfect. I hope they know how much both their parents love them. Typically they do good. They do their homework or play games together for hours on Wed when my husband and I participate in our Christcare group.

I don't know it just weighs in my heart. If you would join me in prayer for all children and the schools this morning.

'If you would join me in prayer for all children and the schools this morning.'
Yes Lord, I pray what Ariel said.

 

[HisDtr]

If my dad caught my brothers fighting he would have them stand facing each other, close and sing happy birthday to one another. Broke the tension and sometimes it was downright hilarious.

 

[HisDtr]

I love it!

 

[Depleted]

This morning I woke to kids screaming and yelling at each other and I admit I yelled back.

My son is eleven and just started middle school, sixth grade.

My daughter is eight and in 3rd grade.

Apparently my son was shooting his dart gun in the hallway and his sister kept screaming for him not to shoot her or something. I thought I heard her screaming about him taking her dress pants.


I don't know. He has a habit of picking and teasing his sister and she has a habit of overreacting to his actions (even when he isn't doing anything she will accuse him of messing with her. I know this because he would be with me in the living room when she starts screaming at him.)


Yeah I know, I should talk to them about screaming. How do you do that without being a hypocrite?

Well they know mom isn't perfect. I hope they know how much both their parents love them. Typically they do good. They do their homework or play games together for hours on Wed when my husband and I participate in our Christcare group.

I don't know it just weighs in my heart. If you would join me in prayer for all children and the schools this morning.

This would have worked on me when I was Little Lynnie.
(Warning: Do not put any liquids in your mouth before watching.)
[video=youtube;sOubfaxwR4A]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOubfaxwR4A[/video]



Truthfully? You know what finally stopped my brothers and I from fighting? 20!

20! The magical age I hit when I finally noticed I couldn't rouse my brothers into another fight.

 

[Ariel82]

Haha....now a days i could threaten to video record their tantrum and show it to their first date.

I thank God they didn't really have that issue with wanting food that I didn't want to buy. Maybe because I typically got them one treat that the family liked or because I would give them play money and every time we put something in the cart they would "pay" me. Then they realized that money only goes so far. We did this a few times when they were 3 and 5 years old. Until they grew bored with it and just trusted mom when I said we did not have enough money.

My mom likes to tell the story where we went shopping to buy her a new tv and my four year old son gave her a penny to help pay for Yaya's new tv.

 

[oldethennew]

the parents are much more pitiful than their children...place the child where the parent is
in a few years...don't even want to go there...

we've noticed in the last few years that there are many children who scream and holler-out in stores
and such places, wanting their own way, it's mind boggling!

in my day, it took only one or two times to break an un-healthy and totally dis-respectful habit
that my children tried while shopping...

 

[Ariel82]

"In my day..." I have to admit that makes me cringe every time an elderly person says that.

Someone made the point....YOU RAISED THOSE KIDS and were suppose to teach them parenting skills.

I read a book that described a cycle of too strict parenting that caused too permissive parenting that cycles back too trict the next generation because the kids tried to NOT be like their parents.

I have found the only way to break the cycle and the negative effects of our own childhood while keeping the blessings is to pray and learn God's way to parent.

 

[jesussavesbro7]

I saw in a movie have them sit or stand, face to face until they hug each other and forgive.

 

[oldethennew]

This morning I woke to kids screaming and yelling at each other and I admit I yelled back.

My son is eleven and just started middle school, sixth grade.

My daughter is eight and in 3rd grade.

Apparently my son was shooting his dart gun in the hallway and his sister kept screaming for him not to shoot her or something. I thought I heard her screaming about him taking her dress pants.


I don't know. He has a habit of picking and teasing his sister and she has a habit of overreacting to his actions (even when he isn't doing anything she will accuse him of messing with her. I know this because he would be with me in the living room when she starts screaming at him.)


Yeah I know, I should talk to them about screaming. How do you do that without being a hypocrite?

Well they know mom isn't perfect. I hope they know how much both their parents love them. Typically they do good. They do their homework or play games together for hours on Wed when my husband and I participate in our Christcare group.

I don't know it just weighs in my heart. If you would join me in prayer for all children and the schools this morning.

=======================================================

just saying, sweetie,
when my children were 'little, I kind of took things in hand' and 'set the RULES-DOWN-FAST'...

my 'little-ones' NEVER-EVER' screamed out loud or woke 'me-up', I was up and had already
started running the show...

this is where so much sadness comes-in here, for us who had, let's say 'a more certain/sure/way,
let's say, a more 'Jesus' way' of beholding our children to the important ways of abiding in
a respectful-family-unit, a certain Godly-Way, a rare way, especially when we can look back and see just how
or in what way we were raised - but, Jesus always seems to 'fit-Himself' into some of our lives,
at some point, if we are to be so blessed...
His choice, not ours, but, when we realize certain things, then we must ACT as He would have us,
and not ever, never, let the kids run the show...(modern-times permissiveness or not)...

P.S.,
a 'Christian Woman should somewhere along the line learn how to pick the right time to
YELL!!!

as a personal 'witness', it took me soooo many years to beat that burden!!! and right now,
I am still working daily to respond and answer my blessed husband in all kindness and appreciation -
believe me, it is doable, but it takes so much of Christ's Love and dedication and self-less-ness...
the more worldly-burdens we shed, the more we are able to act/respond to Christ's Example...

 

[joefizz]

HELLO they are"kids" and "siblings" siblings act this way plenty and there is no real rhyme or reason to what they do because"kids" get bored or just simply want to pester each other,sure you can blame the devil,but come on who hasn't done something silly without thinking,and yeah yelling doesn't work they'll probably yell or play louder lol because"kids" often don't think of "consequences" to action or if they do they don't think the consequence will be severe so just deal with what you can and as they mature teach them"values" like the golden rule or better yet "values" from the bible or if all else fails try to have them watch a funny and calming kid movie til they fall asleep then go to bed(has worked for me plenty and I don't have kids of my own,only kid cousins that I've baby sat!,gave my monsters inc to one of my cousins since her kids slept well to it!)

 

[mcubed]

I'm not so sure it's the "enemy" that attacks us when we get closer to G-d or if it's our own flesh revealed. It's "nicer" to think it's the "enemy" because I (my flesh) can not be that ugly.