Women Who Struggle With Negative Self Worth And Low Self Esteem

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Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
6,482
3,170
113
#1
Negative self-worth, I'm too fat, too skinny, hair not perfect, clothes do not fit just right; I wish I were that way instead of this way or even low self-esteem on a daily replay.

Let us put the perspective of the world to the side for a minute. I acknowledge that to a degree, our health should be held important, hygiene is equally good, and wanting to look nice for a potential boyfriend, current boyfriend, fiance, or husband is also valuable. But have you let the world disrupt the way God wants you to see yourself altogether?

1 Peter 3:3-4
New International Version
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

We let culture dictate what is perfect, what is beautiful, what is in style, but God wants you to look at the inner self above all else. The inner self can be an unfading beauty, a gentle and quiet spirit. This beauty reminds me of how Elijah was comforted by God.

1 Kings 19:11-12
New International Version
11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

The love of God wasn't found in the great wind, the earthquake, the fire, but in a gentle whisper. Lovingly, God saw and heard Elijah's prayer. He answered Elijah in a gentle and calming voice, which gave Elijah the confidence to keep on with the remainder of his ministry.

Pursue this inner beauty that ultimately comes with our close relationship with God, and the outward approval, outward beauty, the external appearance will be kept in the proper perspective.

Even if it is health issues, the inner beauty will fight off the moments of low self-esteem and ultimately keep you motivated to focus on healing rather than hating who you are or what your appearance may be.

When in the proper perspective, nothing is wrong with outward beauty, styles, or appearances. I'm simply stating that inner beauty is eternal as it is intertwined with your soul. Not only unfading but eternal.

Cultures and different civilizations have their differences in the realm of what is considered beautiful, the study of aesthetics. God is outside of time and immaterial. Which means He is not bound to time. God's idea of beauty doesn't change and will never change. We find beauty in what is good vs the dreadfulness of evil. We are told what is beautiful in the Word of God (the Bible). The Bible is where we define beauty. Spiritual beauty surpasses all physical beauty. Even the most attractive human can be detestable in the eyes of God if their heart is filled with evil.

Do not be so hard on yourself, and remember it is in God where we measure our self-worth. Amen.

1 Samuel 16:7
New International Version
7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the same things people focus on. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
 
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Alyd20

Guest
#2
My prayer is that someday my daughter will be know who is and whose is knows that she is a fearless child of kings of kings lords of lords. My pray that she will not listen to the lies from the devil.
 

Seeker47

Active member
Aug 7, 2018
217
203
43
#3
Amen....may God protect all the children. They are under intensive assault by the king of lies, both boys and girls. They need people with the truth in their hearts to watch over and protect them in Jesus name. Lord intervene in their behalf.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
6,482
3,170
113
#4
My prayer is that someday my daughter will be know who is and whose is knows that she is a fearless child of kings of kings lords of lords. My pray that she will not listen to the lies from the devil.
Amen! The voice of evil can be deafening if we allow it to have room within the mind. There isn't enough room for God and Satan within our minds. We must choose which voice we obey.
 

Sunshyne

New member
May 5, 2021
4
6
3
#5
I am trying to instill this into myself so that I can instill it into my 3 daughters. I don't want them to have the life I've had growing up. It's a constant battle in my mind.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
6,482
3,170
113
#6
I am trying to instill this into myself so that I can instill it into my 3 daughters. I don't want them to have the life I've had growing up. It's a constant battle in my mind.
You can do it, I have faith in you. I'm sorry of your struggle, I know how exhausting that can be.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,168
4,030
113
#7
I wouldnt say only women struggle with this... men actually do too. not sure why but I see it in both girls and boys, when they are in school especially if they are a bit young for their class, being smaller than everyone else, I think there is an advantage to being older. (they arent bullied by anyone and by that time they dont care so much what others think)
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
6,482
3,170
113
#8
I wouldnt say only women struggle with this... men actually do too. not sure why but I see it in both girls and boys, when they are in school especially if they are a bit young for their class, being smaller than everyone else, I think there is an advantage to being older. (they arent bullied by anyone and by that time they dont care so much what others think)
Oh, no doubt, I'm sure there are exceptions here or there, but I hear so many women, including my wife, who struggles with this. Of course, usually, women are more vocal with their feelings, so it could be higher in men than my personal experience would believe.
 
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Alyd20

Guest
#9
Cimorelli 6 sisters who love music do covers and original music. Who also loves chirst
I love this song
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
17,910
9,855
113
#14
I want to "like" the OP; I really do. However, I didn't, because the OP focused on only half of the human population, inadvertently (I hope) neglecting the struggle with self-esteem that the other half faces (I do appreciate Roughsoul for raising the subject though).

For men, self-esteem struggles typically look very different than those of females... and that's why our culture ignores them.

Suicide rates provide ample evidence, though there is far more.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
6,482
3,170
113
#15
I want to "like" the OP; I really do. However, I didn't, because the OP focused on only half of the human population, inadvertently (I hope) neglecting the struggle with self-esteem that the other half faces (I do appreciate Roughsoul for raising the subject though).

For men, self-esteem struggles typically look very different than those of females... and that's why our culture ignores them.

Suicide rates provide ample evidence, though there is far more.
It was what I wrote to my church for mother's day.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
6,482
3,170
113
#17
Then it was very appropriate. My apologies. :)
You wouldn't of known. I didn't post that detail. In many ways, I was thinking of my wife as I wrote this. She struggles with self-image after having three kids. I can tell her over and over words of affirmation, but it always creeps back in.
 

EnglishChick

Active member
Apr 20, 2021
463
216
43
39
England UK
#18
I want to "like" the OP; I really do. However, I didn't, because the OP focused on only half of the human population, inadvertently (I hope) neglecting the struggle with self-esteem that the other half faces (I do appreciate Roughsoul for raising the subject though).

For men, self-esteem struggles typically look very different than those of females... and that's why our culture ignores them.

Suicide rates provide ample evidence, though there is far more.
Yes this is a universal human issue not a woman issue
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
14,663
6,911
113
#19
Do not be so hard on yourself, and remember it is in God where we measure our self-worth. Amen.
True. Christians should be constantly reminding themselves as to how God views His children, and His particular child (the one who is dealing with this issue). And there is a great deal in Scripture about how God views His children (men and women). And that is what ultimately counts.

At the same time, we should take practical steps to develop a better sense of self-worth. While none of us can change our heritage or our features (without expensive plastic surgery), we all can do something about diet, exercise, rest, recreation, work ethic, and attitude. And out of all these, attitude is what makes the difference. And attitude is what everyone can control. And a proper attitude can overcome every obstacle.

One of the best examples of the right attitude is Thomas Alva Edison -- the inventor of the light bulb (and many other inventions). He had little or no formal schooling, but he had the right attitude. It is said that he failed about 1,000 times (some say 3,000 times) in coming up with the proper design for the light bulb. But he persisted, and ultimately succeeded. And the rest is history.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,168
4,030
113
#20
I think after having three kids maybe your wife is a bit exhausted. (most women dont have three breasts or three hands)
men you have to remember a womans body is host to a live baby for 9 months and every month when she isnt having a baby her body is renewing itself. If she doesnt have enough rest, i.e. beauty sleep, its going to break down.

There is a lot going on. What your wife needs is regular breaks or if she hasnt had one a weeklong pamper vacation!