Am I a bad person???

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M

mattyyy

Guest
#1
Hi, my name is Matt and I am 17.

Last week I was at a week long school camp from Sunday till Friday. It was camp involving schools from all over the country. On the Monday I saw this girl. She is beautiful and I really wanted to go talk to her. But I am rather shy. My friend who I was rooming with is the total opposite of me. So he was like "Dude, just go say hi!" the whole time. I didn't have the guts so I just left it. On Tuesday I saw her again but didn't have the guts once again. On Wednesday we went to the mall and nearby I went into a shop with my friend to go buy some hair clay. I saw this girl talking to my teacher. So I thought to myself now is my chance to met her. So I went over and asked Ma'am the stupidest thing. I said "Ma'am do you think I should buy this hair clay?" This girl was there with one of her friends and the two of the got involved in our conversation and were like "No that stuff doesn't work, you should get the blue one." I have never bought this stuff before so i was confused. She said "Do you want me to show you which one?" so obviously i said yes. So myself and my friend followed the two if them across the shop. She explained why that one doesn't work and why the other one is better. So I asked her "How do you know all this?" to which her friend replied "She has a boyfriend." So we continued talking then my friend left and the two girls and I went to the till to pay for the things we had bought. The rest of the my school was outside the shop. The girls then asked me if I knew the guy in the purple shirt. I said yes. This guy they pointed to is a close friend of mine but he is also much better looking the all us other guys. So I expected this to go how it usually did with them asking me for his number or to introduce them to him. Instead the friend said "Flip he is such an *******!" This had me in hysterics. So after a stopped laughing I explained that he is a close friend of mine and he isn't always like that. So then the girl I liked said "If you such good friends how come he is such and ass and your so nice?" Again, I just laughed. She then said "I guess you've asked yourself that already?" I was then called to the till so I said goodbye and left. The next day I bumped into her in the art exhibit. We started talking and she showed me a photo that her friend took that was of her. Then she was "Come look her" and put her hand out. I didn't grab her hand but I just followed her across the room where she wanted to show me a picture her friend drew. She talked about it a bit and then the conversation changed topics and we spoke for a little while until I had to leave.

On Thursday I saw her again and she came up to my friend and I and asked is to sign her passport (the little booklet we had to carry with the whole camp).

On Friday morning just before we left I eventually asked her for her number. She gave it to me.

So here is my question, Was it wrong of me to ask her for her number knowing she had a boyfriend? And if not what does a guy do in this situation?

I didn't mention that i have never asked a girl for her number before, never been on a date or had a girlfriend. So I have absolutely no experience.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
She's taken. Leave her alone.
And if she's willing to act that way behind her boyfriends back with you, what makes you think this is the first time she's done this? If she were to ditch him for you what makes you think she won't do the same to you?

Actually you've chased after someone who is showing you that they are. It trustworthy. But if you are even considering trying to get involved with her, it says something about your lack of character as well.
I wouldn't say you're a 'bad person' but you are heading in the wrong direction with your character and showing a lack of wisdom in thinking people who would cheat with you wont also cheat on you. Walk away from her. Fast.
 
V

VioletReigns

Guest
#3
Hello, Matt and welcome to CC. :)

No, my dear young man, you are not a bad person. You are young and vulnerable and this pretty young girl giving you some attention made you feel happy & excited. That's only natural. :)

As for whether or not you should pursue her, just remember what Jesus said: "Treat others the way you want to be treated."

Imagine the tables were turned and she was actually your girlfriend and she went away to school camp and flirted with another fellow. Would you be happy to find out that your girlfriend gave her number to another guy who was interested in her? Because if you don't want someone to do that to you, that's a sure indication you shouldn't do it to someone else. Don't you agree?
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#4
You should have stopped pursuing her the moment when her friend told you she had a boyfriend. I agree with Ugly. Throw out her number and walk away from this train wreck in progress. :/
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#5
So here is my question, Was it wrong of me to ask her for her number knowing she had a boyfriend?
Depends on your intent. I suspect you already know what that is and you should have your answer, then.

If your intent is to get romantically involved with her, you might want to ask yourself something: If she disregards her relationship to respond in kind to you, is that the kind of girl you want?
 
D

dalconn

Guest
#6
unless you are planning to fall into sexual sin you're only seeking friendship in the first place with the possibility of it growing into love. Love works no ill to its neighbor....go in love!!
 
J

JeniBean

Guest
#7
You're 17!!! Congrats on asking a girl for her number! As a mother of a teen this is not a bad thing. Also YES she may have a boyfriend, but why can't she have a guy (like you) who is a friend? Maybe some day it will become more than that. You're young and she gave you her number. Text her and see how her day is going. Friendship is a good way to start anything. If it is going to ever be more than friendship, you wouldn't know until you try talking to her.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,381
2,456
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#8
For a 17 year old girl to "have a boyfriend" could mean almost anything, or almost nothing.

You don't really know the situation till you talk to her.
Maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend and didn't tell anyone yet... you simply have no idea.

Talking to a girl on the phone, to find out if she's actually in a serious relationship or not, is hardly a crime.

I wouldn't worry about it.
If you want to talk to her, then talk to her.
 
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
251
0
#9
All's fair, bro. Make her your destiny. :cool:

On a side note, her friend was quick to mention the boyfriend because she was jealous. Guess what, it never changes, it just comes with wrinkles later in life. :D
 
Jul 25, 2015
893
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#10
All's fair, bro. Make her your destiny. :cool:

On a side note, her friend was quick to mention the boyfriend because she was jealous. Guess what, it never changes, it just comes with wrinkles later in life. :D
Utah you are half crazy! Lol
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,944
4,588
113
#12
Utah you are half crazy! Lol
Wait a minute... Half?

HALF??? What's with this HALF nonsense? This is the Singles Forum! We don't do things "half-way" around here!

"Half-crazy" also means "half-sane"... and in this forum, it's all... or nuttin'.

*grumbles*

Surrounded by amateurs... :rolleyes::cool:;)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,324
16,307
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69
Tennessee
#13
Wait a minute... Half?

HALF??? What's with this HALF nonsense? This is the Singles Forum! We don't do things "half-way" around here!

"Half-crazy" also means "half-sane"... and in this forum, it's all... or nuttin'.

*grumbles*

Surrounded by amateurs... :rolleyes::cool:;)
I'll be an optimist and say that I am "half-sane".
 
Jul 25, 2015
893
44
28
#14
Wait a minute... Half?

HALF??? What's with this HALF nonsense? This is the Singles Forum! We don't do things "half-way" around here!

"Half-crazy" also means "half-sane"... and in this forum, it's all... or nuttin'.

*grumbles*

Surrounded by amateurs... :rolleyes::cool:;)

You're right sista!! But I have a soft spot in my heart for Utah...he is my buddy and I didnt want to tell him I thought his post was full blown crazy!!! Im wimpy....ha
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,944
4,588
113
#15
You're right sista!! But I have a soft spot in my heart for Utah...he is my buddy and I didnt want to tell him I thought his post was full blown crazy!!! Im wimpy....ha
Here we go again with the "only going halfway" stuff again...

*shakes her head*

The Singles Forum just might be in danger of being changed to The Soft Spines Forum... :p (which is probably why we're all single!!!) :D

(Chick, I hope you know I'm just joking around!)
 
Jul 25, 2015
893
44
28
#16
Here we go again with the "only going halfway" stuff again...

*shakes her head*

The Singles Forum just might be in danger of being changed to The Soft Spines Forum... :p (which is probably why we're all single!!!) :D

(Chick, I hope you know I'm just joking around!)
Wait a min is this BDF ...my bad I slipped into the wrong forum....

(SS...never you worry about me! This Polack takes as well as she gives and prefers the ribbing!!!)
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#17
On Wednesday we went to the mall and nearby I went into a shop with my friend to go buy some hair clay. I saw I said "Ma'am do you think I should buy this hair clay?" This girl was there with one of her friends and the two of the got involved in our conversation and were like "No that stuff doesn't work, you should get the blue one." I have never bought this stuff before so i was confused.
HOLD UP. What is hair clay and what does it do?
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,381
2,456
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#18
HOLD UP. What is hair clay and what does it do?
Hair Clay is hardened clay scraped from the heads of Chinese terracotta statues from the Necropolis of Qin Shi Huang, the first emperor of the Qin dynasty.

Teenage girls put it on their hair to make them look like Qin warriors.


I thought everyone knew this.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#19
Maxwel, don't ever change
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,381
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#20
Hair Clay - before being scraped from head of Qin warrior.

hair_clay.jpg