Struggle for Honesty and Self Worth

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Mar 4, 2011
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#1
I've always struggled to be honest in front of friends as I'm afraid that they would look down on me , the very fact of being judged or even looked down upon is a scary position to be in . I struggle with self worth and acceptance from friends I am not sure how I can overcome this dreadful sin and what the Bible says on being yourself .
 
S

Sirk

Guest
#2
I've always struggled to be honest in front of friends as I'm afraid that they would look down on me , the very fact of being judged or even looked down upon is a scary position to be in . I struggle with self worth and acceptance from friends I am not sure how I can overcome this dreadful sin and what the Bible says on being yourself .
Sorry bro. I know how you feel. I had to change my internal dialogue because much of it was lies told to me by people who had authority over me as a child..... Your stupid...you'll never amount to anything etc.
 
J

JeniBean

Guest
#3
My ex-husbands biggest fear was what others thought of him and how they perceived him and his abilities. It didn't matter what I thought once we were married it was others. It became his life force and destroyed all relationships he had, accept within his career...where it mattered most. I would always say, to him if you cannot love yourself for who you truly are and realize that you perfectly made, you will continue to not meet your true potential. He did not care, as to him GOD simply wasn't really there and others are. Accept yourself, love yourself, realize the real you is awesome and pray for help to be the real you. I wouldn't want you to be like my ex, as you would be a truly unhappy person.
 
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Sirk

Guest
#4
My ex-husbands biggest fear was what others thought of him and how they perceived him and his abilities. It didn't matter what I thought once we were married it was others. It became his life force and destroyed all relationships he had, accept within his career...where it mattered most. I would always say, to him if you cannot love yourself for who you truly are and realize that you perfectly made, you will continue to not meet your true potential. He did not care, as to him GOD simply wasn't really there and others are. Accept yourself, love yourself, realize the real you is awesome and pray for help to be the real you. I wouldn't want you to be like my ex, as you would be a truly unhappy person.
People pleasing is a horrible trap to get caught in. It makes you angry and miserable because...well...it is a fruitless endeavor.
 
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JeniBean

Guest
#5
People pleasing is a horrible trap to get caught in. It makes you angry and miserable because...well...it is a fruitless endeavor.
Agreed, which is why 8 years ago he drove off and hasn't been ever heard from again.
 
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Sirk

Guest
#6
Agreed, which is why 8 years ago he drove off and hasn't been ever heard from again.
I'm sorry that happened to you. A people pleaser doesn't know how to care for their own spiritual well being. It's a slow painful death.
 
Mar 4, 2011
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#7
I come from a physically abusive family for 20 years now and there is so much I need to replace in my thought life .
 
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Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#8
I am not sure how I can overcome this dreadful sin and what the Bible says on being yourself .
I'm not sure either, but I can tell you what Oscar Wilde said: Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Remember that not all of your thoughts are actually your thoughts. It's crazy how impressionable we can be.
 
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Sirk

Guest
#9
I come from a physically abusive family for 20 years now and there is so much I need to replace in my thought life .
You are valued and loved. You have good things to bring to the world. When you overcome your hurts and hang ups thru the power of Jesus you will bless those that come behind you from similar circumstances.
 
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JeniBean

Guest
#10
You are valued and loved. You have good things to bring to the world. When you overcome your hurts and hang ups thru the power of Jesus you will bless those that come behind you from similar circumstances.
Adding to this ...use what you have lived though to not only conquer your thoughts, but also to help others move on. Through GOD it is possible.
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
338
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#11
I've always struggled to be honest in front of friends as I'm afraid that they would look down on me , the very fact of being judged or even looked down upon is a scary position to be in . I struggle with self worth and acceptance from friends I am not sure how I can overcome this dreadful sin and what the Bible says on being yourself .

Oddly enough, you'll find your self-worth within yourself, not in the opinion of others.

Trying to please others or meet with their satisfaction is a long term losing proposition. "For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ" (Galatians 1:10).

Be true to yourself.. The trick is not caring what others think, you can never live-up to the expectations of others. "Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God" (Luke 16:15)

Your honesty is your self-worth.. Embrace it, don't struggle with it.... jmo
 
Mar 4, 2011
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#12
Adding to this ...use what you have lived though to not only conquer your thoughts, but also to help others move on. Through GOD it is possible.

Thank you and I am currently getting my education to be a social worker :) I hope i can help others with God's help .
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
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#13
Thank you and I am currently getting my education to be a social worker :) I hope i can help others with God's help .
This is awesome, CG. People who have been through terrible things but then turn around and use it to help other people who have gone through the same things are totally amazing.

I was wondering (and I tried to read all the posts but might have missed this), have you gone to any kind of counseling or support groups yourself? With your background, it may take a lot more than just trying to willfully overcome these feelings on your own.

Do you have any local resources you could check into? I wish you all the best. You sound like an amazing person. May God help you find your way to a much more peaceful, stable way of life.
 
Mar 4, 2011
109
4
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#14
This is awesome, CG. People who have been through terrible things but then turn around and use it to help other people who have gone through the same things are totally amazing.

I was wondering (and I tried to read all the posts but might have missed this), have you gone to any kind of counseling or support groups yourself? With your background, it may take a lot more than just trying to willfully overcome these feelings on your own.

Do you have any local resources you could check into? I wish you all the best. You sound like an amazing person. May God help you find your way to a much more peaceful, stable way of life.

Hi Seoul Search,
Yes, I'm currently seeing a trauma/addiction therapist for about 3 months now locally also my church counsellors who are working with me through my struggles and yeah its a lot of work practically and spiritually trying to rebuild my life again .
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
#15
Hi Seoul Search,
Yes, I'm currently seeing a trauma/addiction therapist for about 3 months now locally who is working with me through my struggles and yeah its a lot of work practically and spiritually trying to rebuild my life again .
Abuse can be such a terrible cycle that carries down to multiple generations.

I am always in awe of people who have the courage to stand up and say, "Not anymore. It stops with me." And then, amazingly, to on to help other people.

I am so glad that you're receiving support. Maybe this counselor can lead you to groups for others who have been through the same thing and can give you some good pointers on building healthy self-esteem? I'm sure that feedback from sources like this (CC) are helpful but I also hope you get some encouragement from those who have been where you've been. They'll be able to provide you with insights that "people on the outside" could never know.

Best wishes to you! And please, keep us posted.
 
Mar 4, 2011
109
4
18
#16
Abuse can be such a terrible cycle that carries down to multiple generations.

I am always in awe of people who have the courage to stand up and say, "Not anymore. It stops with me." And then, amazingly, to on to help other people.

I am so glad that you're receiving support. Maybe this counselor can lead you to groups for others who have been through the same thing and can give you some good pointers on building healthy self-esteem? I'm sure that feedback from sources like this (CC) are helpful but I also hope you get some encouragement from those who have been where you've been. They'll be able to provide you with insights that "people on the outside" could never know.

Best wishes to you! And please, keep us posted.

It is .. it creates a vicious cycle in which I have been trapped even without realising it .. and I'm starting to realise how deep this can really get . I'm really not sure if I can break this cycle of being in terrible relationships but I am trusting God that he can help me to break out of my addiction and crazy cycle .
 
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Sirk

Guest
#19
This is what I've used to change my thoughts towards the peace cycle.

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