If someone told you to change or you Should change, would you do it?

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ManiaStar

Senior Member
#1
Nov 14, 2015
381
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#1
I was just messaging someone about this and it made me think.

If you had family members or friends tell you that they thought you needed to change who you were, how you dressed, how you acted and should have better interests, would you listen to them?

Why or why not?

And, i'm talking about, if they said it to you more then once and were adamant about it saying that it would help you out in your presence and future.

Would you listen to them or would you stay true to who you are and not be influenced by them or anyone else to change?
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#2
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#2
If someone hands you a breath mint.... take it!
 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#3
Nov 15, 2014
1,585
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#3
ManiaStar said:
I was just messaging someone about this and it made me think.

If you had family members or friends tell you that they thought you needed to change who you were, how you dressed, how you acted and should have better interests, would you listen to them?

Why or why not?

And, i'm talking about, if they said it to you more then once and were adamant about it saying that it would help you out in your presence and future.

Would you listen to them or would you stay true to who you are and not be influenced by them or anyone else to change?
Click to expand...
Well, it depends what it is, I guess.
 
Yeraza_Bats

Yeraza_Bats

Senior Member
#6
Dec 11, 2014
3,632
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#6
It all depends on what I was doing. I think some things that people get angry about (concerning this subject) are totally meaningless. Like, I have a pink wrist watch. I wear it cuz I need a watch (no cell phone) and I like to color pink. Its a cool color : p There is nothing actually wrong about a male liking the color pink. Its only a color. Colors have nothing to do with whats in your heart. Im sure there will be people who dont like that I wear a pink watch though : p When these people react in anger about it, or even just act pushy, it just makes people push back more. I can say certain groups of people, groups like the lbgt, use this as justification for how they live.


If what you are doing is actually wrong in some way, then yeah you should listen. If what youre doing isnt really wrong, but not typical or traditional or just something that some particular people dont like, then its not really something to be worried about : p Theres right and theres wrong, and then theres human laws and traditions that dont actually mean anything that people just refuse to let go of : p

If you are worried about something like this, look to God for an answer, seek His wisdom, how He would feel about it, and pray on it. I believe if you follow His wisdom, and not mans, you will be fine : p
(other than certain people not liking you, but you know, welcome to earth : p)
 
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crosstweed

Guest
#7
#7
I try to hear them out, unless I know that they're malicious and/or a complete idiot with a bad perspective, although whether I do anything about it depends on the situation. A friend of mine once pointed out a couple of destructive and/or irritating idiosyncrasies of mine and although it took me a while to digest what she had said (which here means, "overcome the hint of butthurt I felt when she implied that perhaps I wasn't as perfect as I thought I was") and a little trial and error and time to semi-correct those idiosyncrasies, I'm ultimately very glad she told me and that I was able to deal with them. It helped build our friendship, made me a better person, and helped me get a better perspective of myself. If you can't listen when people tell you something's wrong, how are you going to listen when God tells you something's wrong? A teachable spirit is one of the marks the Spirit leaves on God's children. Not that you try to morph in order to please everyone, but if there's a problem in your personality or lifestyle, address it.

The moral of the TL;DR story:
If someone tells you something is impeding your awesomeness, hear them out and see if you need to make some changes so that you can be even more awesome.
 
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Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#8
Aug 13, 2014
27,447
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#8
If you want me to stop wearing toe shoes, good luck. if you say I need to fast or read the Bible more, yes you are probably right. All depends on what somebody is saying I should change.
 
20

20

Senior Member
#9
Dec 15, 2015
351
9
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#9
Take a look, who talk to you.Pay attention,why they ask you to change that.Open yours Bible and read about this topic.Ask yours pastor or minister about this subject.In this way you make right picture for yourself.Some information from this sources, give you to know you have to change or not anything. Remember,some good advices from yours christian friends, can help you to change yours life direction, in best way.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#10
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
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#10
i agree with those who said it depends.

for example, if i'm a bitter person, and my family/friends encourage me to search for the root of the bitterness so i can let go and have God heal me, then this is good advice.

now, i'm not a girly girl AT ALL lol. some time ago, i was talking to a friend about how i'm invisible to the opposite sex. she lightly suggested maybe changing my look: start wearing make up and dressing up a bit (because i was/am a jeans/tshirt girl). i thought about it, but i decided to stick with me. i've improved my look since then, but it was because i wanted to. :eek:
 
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coby

Guest
#11
#11
ManiaStar said:
I was just messaging someone about this and it made me think.

If you had family members or friends tell you that they thought you needed to change who you were, how you dressed, how you acted and should have better interests, would you listen to them?

Why or why not?

And, i'm talking about, if they said it to you more then once and were adamant about it saying that it would help you out in your presence and future.

Would you listen to them or would you stay true to who you are and not be influenced by them or anyone else to change?
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Probably. I always totally change to please someone. Lol when I started dating my ex people thought I was someone else. The didn't recognize me in church. Oh my those old pics, awful. Even my attitude and everything changed, my mom said I became a copy of him. Took a long while to return to normal. I'm afraid I'd do that again but only wiyh a partner so well as long as Jesus is my Partner hey no problems. Let's change for the better. Other people: good luck, I don't care, only if God is speaking through you.
 
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coby

Guest
#12
#12
Maybe that's because I had a twin brother who died as a baby. Always wanted to copy someone, so stupid.
 
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Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#13
#13
To quote Oscar Wilde: "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."

Consider constructive criticism, but take complaints with a grain of salt. It's best when people can be objective.

If it were aimed at me? How seriously I would take advice about myself would hinge on who was dishing it, as well as their mental and emotional state.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#14
#14
Context is left out to make this an easy question to answer. I mean if they are suggesting that the way you dress for work could be making you look bad, then sure, it might be something to at least consider. Things like that.

But, given the tone of what you're saying it sounds more likely that this person just disagrees with who you are and how you are and expects you to be someone else. In which case i would be less likely to listen.

On the other hand you imply that you may be hearing similar things from various people. Which, in that case, complicates things more. It could be that everyone sees something about you that may genuinely be a negative. Or it could be a lot of like minded people who just 'think' people should be a certain way and if they aren't they are doing something wrong.

So, really, without knowing how many people there are, who these people are to you, what kind of changes they expect, the reasons they give as to why, the manner in which they approach you, their tone and attitude... then it's hard to say with any certainty how to handle this.

My last gf always thought i was trying to change her. She misinterpreted my intents. I loved her for who she was. But she also had issues and those issues made her unhappy. So i often tried to help her with various issues. And in areas i thought might help her grow closer to God. In her mind i was trying to 'mold' her into what i wanted. In reality i was trying to help her heal from the issues, and let more of who she Really was, that was buried beneath all the junk, come out more. Because i knew she would be happier and closer to God.
So sometimes even how we perceive things is not always a reflection on the intent of the person. Which is why, again, more context makes giving answers easier.
 
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MollyConnor

Guest
#15
#15
ManiaStar said:
I was just messaging someone about this and it made me think.

If you had family members or friends tell you that they thought you needed to change who you were, how you dressed, how you acted and should have better interests, would you listen to them?

Why or why not?

And, i'm talking about, if they said it to you more then once and were adamant about it saying that it would help you out in your presence and future.

Would you listen to them or would you stay true to who you are and not be influenced by them or anyone else to change?
Click to expand...
First I want to say that who we truly are should be found in Christ. If my family/friends are telling me to change for the better, then I would definitely give it a shot. See, all of my family and most of my friends are Christians so I value their opinion greatly.

We are born in sinful nature, so we should be in a process of change throughout our entire lifetimes.

Now if it's my aunts telling me to wear more blush on my cheeks (which they do) I wouldn't listen to them! haha
My mom and aunts became teens/young adults in the 80s and so they love makeup and wild hair styles. :p
 
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BekahB5

BekahB5

Member
#16
Dec 31, 2015
53
1
0
#16
I say Don't Do It.....but it is good to process and reflect on any suggestions and if you conclude that the advice is sound, logical, beneficial; than you may make a decision based on your best interests and it may happen to align with the advice that was given
 
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Txroads

Guest
#17
#17
That's too wide open a question. I guess it all comes down to who and why?
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#18
Aug 2, 2009
24,646
4,305
113
#18
ManiaStar said:
I was just messaging someone about this and it made me think.

If you had family members or friends tell you that they thought you needed to change who you were, how you dressed, how you acted and should have better interests, would you listen to them?

Why or why not?

And, i'm talking about, if they said it to you more then once and were adamant about it saying that it would help you out in your presence and future.

Would you listen to them or would you stay true to who you are and not be influenced by them or anyone else to change?
Click to expand...
If they want you to deny your true self, then I say you should ignore them...
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#19
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
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#19
If someone tells me to change my clothes, I would do that right away, in a heartbeat! I tend to wear the same shirt for many weeks, so I appreciate it when people point out that I stink.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#20
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#20
Someone said to me he will never change. I said cool! Dont ever change because you are a good person deep inside. Just change your bad habits. He misunderstood that my wanting him to change is for selfish reasons so he will be good enough for me.
 
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