I'm in a strange relationship.
Girl A: I will call her Emily (ISFJ)
Girl B: I will call her A.J. (ENTJ)
Girl C: I will call her Aprilia (ENFJ)
Girl D: I will call Jae (INTJ)
I hang out with Emily and her sister A.J. every weekend. About 3 months ago, I asked Emily out and she said, she was honored but alas no. Yet, we still wind up doing all the coupley things that I would expect in a relationship ie long phone calls, hugs, movies, working out etc etc. She thinks I'm a little weird because she doesn't get a lot of my jokes, references, symbolism or any deeper stuff. After getting to know her more, I realize that she isn't really my type, and it would take a lot A LOT of patience from both of us to make something like this work out. She frowns upon a lot of the stuff I do, but likes me enough to spend all of her free time with me.
A.J. is Emily's sister. (ENTJ) Very smart, gets my jokes, really competitive, curious, adventurous and in general aimlessly ambitious and wildly successful in whatever she does. She is their father's favorite. A.J. gets it, me, everything. But she just headed to the south for the summer. She left me with a I'm going to be lonely without you, wish you were here, take care of my sister while I'm gone thing. She is in college at BSU and I've helped her write a couple of papers, cause I'm good at that sort of thing and she appreciates my strengths.
My best friend female friend confidant person Aprilia basically said that my pseudo relationship is one where Emily is keeping me as her 2nd string boyfriend, if something else doesn't come up. Sort of like a friend box but, with the hope that we grow closer over time, eventually to become something more or hoping that she can change me into something she likes more.
A.J. hinted that her sister Emily had a crush on some Veterinarian guy and that isn't going as well as she had planned.
Meanwhile back at the Ranch. I was wondering, if this pseudo relationship were to develop into something more, how would that work? I was considering all the details and stuff, when a girl I had a crush on for a long time, messages me. We had talked a lot before and This girl, Jae (INTJ) really gets me, it, everything and feels it the way I do. But all the miles that separate us and our lives mean that just because we would, doesn't mean we should. Jae is someone I could pour my heart into and rather than getting weirded out, or overloaded, she could make something really beautiful out of it. But talking with her made me realize that Emily could never be someone I fall madly in love with. Ours would be a relationship of Duty and Utility. Anything that deviates from the norm of social expectations of hearth and home would be seen as weird or stifled to death.
My suspicion is that Emily is with me, not because she likes me but because other people do and she likes that, because she believes that she has me right where she wants me. And I enjoy spending time with her, which happens all the time. But the nagging feeling is that I'm settling for being taken for granted when the possibility exists that I could be in a better relationship. I enjoy having someone to spend time with, its good.
I haven't really given it too much thought, but I know dating A.J. would wreck Emily. Even though we click better and relate better, it just seems wrong to me. The funny thing is that they both talk trash about each other when their with only me.
Jae is simply out of reach. But to me she represents the concept that I can be understood and loved and appreciated for who I am.
Is it worth it to let go of what I have in the hopes of having something more, or should I simply be content with the situation I'm already in?
See how easy that was. 
