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First off, I will confess - I have been hurt deeply by Jewel and tourist and Blue these last couple of days, especially tourist and Blue - for I love you deeply well. And I have felt alone. If there is any wrong I have done I would ask to have those things brought before me and I would allow God to offer them to you to be forgiven. But as I examine my actions - I have not been convicted of any correction or rebuke from God.
So now I face a new challenge. Do I allow satan to win in tempting me or not in retaliation? And I have made my decision on that - I will not submit to satan's request to retaliate with my old man's emotions. Nor will I carry a briefcase full of facts satan is begging me to collect on a mission to right the wrongs against my person for that would not be God's will for me or the body of Christ to do. It is not about me - nor has it ever been about any of us - it is about "we should be unto the praise of His glory."
Thus, I have been in prayer and have squashed it in His formidable and powerful love before anything ungodly can take seed in me. Y'all have been placed at His feet. God has made it clear to me now - forgive what is mine to forgive and defend only as God defends Himself thru me in His commissioned timing.
Ironically thru all of this - I have found myself hopeful to learn thru it. God showed me (Habakkuk 2:3) of all things - "though it tarry, wait for it." God is teaching me even now that patience is not indifference; patience conveys the idea of an immensely strong rock withstanding all onslaughts. And I am learning it is the vision of God that is the source of my patience, because it imparts in me a moral inspiration. I saw Moses story too in this light, as God reminded me of him in the Bible. Moses endured, not because he had an ideal of right and duty, but because he had a vision of God. He "endured, as seeing Him Who is invisible." God is calling me to a vision of Himself - therefore I am not devoted to a cause or to any particular issue; I am devoted to God Himself. I know this is the vision of God because I have received the inspiration that has come from it. I have been energized notably by God in all this. If God wills to give me a time spiritually, as He gave His Son actually, of temptation in the wilderness, with no word from Himself at all leaving me feel dry - I must chose to endure. This is how that Passage in Habakkuk is transforming my thinking.
"Though it tarry, wait for it." performing my death to the right to myself is the proof I have the vision that I must reach out for more than I have grasped. God is teaching me it is a bad thing to be satisfied spiritually. Even the "Island of Misfits," phrase tourist used - God has used in me to move me to this conclusion."What shall I render unto the Lord?" said the Psalmist. "I will take the cup of Salvation." We are all apt, aren't we, to look for satisfaction in ourselves - "Now I have got the thing; now I am totally Sanctified; now I can endure." But God is showing me that attitude is on the road to ruin. He is showing me that our reach must extend our grasp. "Not as though I have already attained, either were already perfect." If I have only what I have experienced; I have nothing - If I have the inspiration of the vision of God, I have more than I can experience. I have learned never to be too relaxed spiritually thru all of this. All things turn out for good who love Him. Amen.
I will not fight here then to be right, I will be right in fighting to submit to another in Love in His power and Might - above myself, as myself in Him.
I want to be able to come in here and praise my Father with my brethren and not feel trapped or imprisoned, and love sinners alike with encouraging support by my brethren as well - and I feel the warfare going on - not against flesh and blood - but against the dark powers that surround us in trying to make us separatists in honor of rightness pumping up self-awareness and puffing people up unrighteously - which in God's eyes is only pompous piety - something He will assess in His judgements. I will not fight for rightness, although I could on the merits of human reasoning but I will live in Christ with His boldness to be loving as a living sacrifice to His will and purposes here in this thread - as well as in life outside of this thread as well. I have not been given a spirit of timidity, I have been given the power to be broken bread and poured out wine for others in His name...and in His Spirtual truths - powerfully.
I pray we move on now in His peace.... Your loving Brother - Dan.
Jewel and tourist and Blue - I have loved you in the Lord, and I will remain in His love...loving you all still.
I lived in Rockland from Sep 2005 to Mar 2014. It's about 80 miles NE of Portland directly on the coast. Very much a quaint little tourist town. The downtown looks like you'er living in 1950. Hasn't change much through the years. Winters can be either severe or mild with rain instead of snow. Oh yeah, lot's of fog.