A Gentleman

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#1
Similar to the thread started by Arwen, inspired by the words of Jullianna (whose real name is NOT Jullianna :eek:)

We discussed attributes of a lady, what about a gentleman? What are some traits and behaviors?

As with Arwens post, both males and females feel free to comment.

Just to kick start things, a gentleman does not waste time playing video games in his mommy's basement and does not watch DragonBall-Z religiously. And I don't what to hear a biblical case made for wearing cologne and styling hair.



And go...
 

Tintin

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2013
20,301
300
0
38
#2
A gentleman is one who plays video games in moderation, speaks politely of people but isn't a walking mat. He always wears a top hat and bow tie. "...Because bow ties are cool!"
 
Jun 21, 2011
545
6
0
#3
it's beyond opening doors it's a man that has a good sense of self. I think about others in there needs and treat people with kindness and respect regardless they have romantic intentions
 
Last edited:

Donkeyfish07

Senior Member
Jan 14, 2013
3,893
74
0
#4
1. Don't kiss and tell
2. Be respectful, courteous, spontaneous, and aggressive all at the same time
3. Lead the interaction to interesting places (It's your job to lead and pursue, not hers. Don't be a wimp)
4. Put your foot down with class and gentleness but firmly when needed (Can't be a jerk but you can't be a pushover either)
5. Be good to her friends and try to socialize with them as much as possible
6. Be well groomed (unless you've taken the Nazarite vow :p)
7. Don't kiss and tell

I think that's a pretty decent definition. I personally don't think one should ever pursue a female in a gentleman-like way unless she has demonstrated ladylike behavior. That's just my opinion though.

From a non pursuing perspective though : Just be respectful, thoughtful, and polite to everybody.
 

leelee

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
8
38
32
#5
donkeyfish I agree with your points but think a true gentleman wouldn't have to try hard to be one and therefore would be unable to pursue a woman in any other way.
 

Elizabeth619

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2011
6,397
107
48
#6
fears God, and puts him first.

is kind, and respectful to others.

looks far beyond a woman's physical beauty.

is slow to anger

PATIENT

Will accept a woman with her flaws, and not judge her on her past

Isn't jealous and controlling

Doesn't criticize cooking, and will eat whatever she cooks even if it sends him to ICU.
 

Donkeyfish07

Senior Member
Jan 14, 2013
3,893
74
0
#7
donkeyfish I agree with your points but think a true gentleman wouldn't have to try hard to be one and therefore would be unable to pursue a woman in any other way.
I agree to an extent. If someone is "trying hard" to be anything, then it's not really authentic, so they're just trying to fake it. People are dynamic though and can authentically behave in different ways. There are many different styles of pursuit, just as there are different types of relationships. You have some kinds of relationships where people just bust each others chops and give each other a hard time and that's their thing. Then you have people that are all lovey dovey and sweet to each other all the time. Just depends on how you relate to the other person.
 

leelee

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
8
38
32
#8
my point was that if he was not trying hard to be one he wouldn't be able to be anythig else because it would then be fake. so for that reason a womans behaviour wouldn't relate.
 
A

arwen83

Guest
#9
I had two instances when a guy opened the car door for me- see if you can tell the difference:

One was a frat guy that came up from Texas to visit a chapter here that became smitten with me, wanted to take me out for dinner and we did. He picked me up, opened the car door for me, paid for dinner. He was tactful at the restaurant too.

The other guy was an old guy friend of mine. We were going to a gala together, he came to pick me up and opened the car door for me. Then proceeded to say fairly straight-faced, "There. Don't tell me I never do anything for you" :eek: Well that kind of defeated the purpose of the sweet action. I didn't ask him to, he felt obligated for some reason and then blamed that obligation on me! :rolleyes: Jerk.
 

Donkeyfish07

Senior Member
Jan 14, 2013
3,893
74
0
#10
my point was that if he was not trying hard to be one he wouldn't be able to be anythig else because it would then be fake. so for that reason a womans behaviour wouldn't relate.
Ya, I agree with you. If someone isn't being authentic than they're really just faking it. If it's authentic they don't have to try. All I'm saying is that there is more than one way to relate to people authentically.
 

dliz

Filipino Room/Forum Moderator
Jun 13, 2012
1,004
7
38
#11
[SIZE=+2]The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.[/SIZE]
- John Walter Wayland
 

leelee

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
8
38
32
#12
Ya, I agree with you. If someone isn't being authentic than they're really just faking it. If it's authentic they don't have to try. All I'm saying is that there is more than one way to relate to people authentically.
ok I agree, I guess I would expect a true gentleman to only pursue a lady tbh. if he was a true gentleman he would see a ladies worth and would want that rather than a woman who wasn't.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,405
4,115
113
#13
[SIZE=+2]The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.[/SIZE]
- John Walter Wayland
YES!!!

"In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets." - (Matthew 7:12 NASB)
 

Donkeyfish07

Senior Member
Jan 14, 2013
3,893
74
0
#14
ok I agree, I guess I would expect a true gentleman to only pursue a lady tbh. if he was a true gentleman he would see a ladies worth and would want that rather than a woman who wasn't.
I'm definitely not a true gentleman by that definition, lol. I have unhealthy interests I suppose. I like the "I'm a princess, everyone loves me and I'm a spoiled brat that doesn't have any manners type". I interact with that type completely different than I would with someone on CC for example. I won't open doors for them, I will tease them relentlessly, and I won't pay for dinner....and they seem to like it that way......a ladylike type girl though, I'd saw my arm off before I'd let them pay for dinner, I'll always open the door, I'll buy chocolates, etc...
 

error

Senior Member
Oct 23, 2009
1,244
10
38
#15
[SIZE=+2]The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.[/SIZE]
- John Walter Wayland
I want to marry him.
 

Jullianna

Senior Member
Apr 21, 2010
12,810
120
0
#16
Excellent posts, dliz and Elizabeth. :) Bowties are cool, Tintin :)

- A gentleman says what he means and lives what he says.
- His actions/humor/behaviors are not at the expense of others.
- He finds ways to let his lady know that his heart is hers and hers alone.
- He doesn't treat women like toys or play with their hearts. He doesn't have another one waiting in the wings "just in case this one doesn't work out".
- He understands that a gift given out of obligation pales when compared to a gift from the heart.
- He cherishes his lady, but does not cower before her.
- He holds a door for someone (be it a lady or another man) because he knows the effect an act of kindness can have in the day of both a stranger and the one he loves.
- He understands his position and responsibility in the Kingdom of God.
- He understands that a stern correction is love, while brutal correction is prideful and damaging.
- He leads his family as the Lord leads him.
 
A

arwen83

Guest
#17
Excellent posts, dliz and Elizabeth. :) Bowties are cool, Tintin :)

- A gentleman says what he means and lives what he says.
- His actions/humor/behaviors are not at the expense of others.
- He finds ways to let his lady know that his heart is hers and hers alone.
- He doesn't treat women like toys or play with their hearts. He doesn't have another one waiting in the wings "just in case this one doesn't work out".
- He understands that a gift given out of obligation pales when compared to a gift from the heart.
- He cherishes his lady, but does not cower before her.
- He holds a door for someone (be it a lady or another man) because he knows the effect an act of kindness can have in the day of both a stranger and the one he loves.
- He understands his position and responsibility in the Kingdom of God.
- He understands that a stern correction is love, while brutal correction is prideful and damaging.
- He leads his family as the Lord leads him.
I like all these, but especially like the ones in bold~ but I know no man is or will be all them or a perfect gentleman. We're all prideful.
 

Powemm

Senior Member
Jul 30, 2012
3,910
32
0
#18
I've seen great gentlemen qualities exhibited in cc.. Thumbs up fellas!
 

meggars

Senior Member
Aug 23, 2012
360
4
0
41
#19
I won't bother with bullet points. Y'all have pretty well collectively hit the nail on the head and it saves me from having to think things up. Mostly I just know it when I see it and unfortunately it's rarer than it should be....same as you find with the ladies, I suppose.
 
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
33
0
#20
A gentleman is morally and culturally refined yet superficially primitive in his admiration for and use of force (physical and metaphysical).

Famous real gentleman:

William F. Buckley Jr.
Daniel Patrick Moynihan
Dr. John MacArthur
Most Presidents with few exceptions.
JP Morgan
Robert E. Lee
Alton Brown
John Cleese

Fictional:

Cary Grant's screen persona.
Ernest Hemingway's persona.
Mr. Darcy (swoon ladies)
Mr. Bennett (cooler than Mr. Darcy)
Lord Grantham (swoon again)
The Prince Leopold, Duke of Albany (of the movie Kate and Leopold) (stop swooning) (he doesn't exist) (I do though. ;) )
Razumikhin (Crime and Punishment)
Indiana Jones
James Bond (debatable)