I would change the wording out a bit, and say "what are the qualities of a good man." That's just me, but I understand where it's going.
Anyway, all these qualities I'm seeing listed by women on here sound great. It's like what you would normally see in normal men, so most of them should already be taken, right?
If these truly are what women want in a man, why is it that so many guys with these attributes are never chosen by these kind of ladies? I don't mean to pour cold water all over what these women are saying, nor do I mean to be a downer and rude, because they are correct as far as what should be expected (at least most of it). However, what I've seen, and went through personally, many women seem to NEVER choose to go out with these men when they're asked. Instead, they go after the men who DON'T have these attributes, and in many cases, these women KNOW these men don't have any of it.
They allow the men who don't have these qualities to ask them out, these ladies go, stay together for awhile, the guy dumps her for someone else, the woman is upset and wonders where all the good men are, another man who have these qualities that were listed on this forum comes along and asks her out, she rejects him, and then continues to wonder where the men they desire (with all the qualities listed) are. It's as if they want to put these qualities inside the men that are not gentlemen. Sounds like a nice idea, but we all know you can't force someone to change.
Again, I really don't want to be rude or a downer about this, but this just sounds like people just wanting to SOUND good rather than STRIVING TO BE good through their own actions. Not to be arrogant nor to boast, but many of these qualities I work hard to maintain. Unfortunately, it never seems to work out for me in the end whenever I asked women out, with them knowing who I am.
What I've been met with is the dreaded "I don't know" answer, the excuse answer, being stood up, made fun of, and, in one case a long time ago, having false rumors spread about me among their friends and acquaintances. But the guys that don't have the qualities, the women I asked out, they go for them, only to have children with those men, then she and her children get ditched, and come back to try and convince me to ask them out. Not sound mean nor whiny, I never did because I was never their first choice.
To the single men reading this thread and that went through similar circumstances, this should sound all too familiar. Us guys that have tried to go out with women that want these qualities in us always get the short end of the deal. We have taken dating advice, and we have changed many aspects of our lives in an attempt to not only improve ourselves, but also attract a potential companion. It just leads to nothing more than a dead end.
Most guys have a hard enough time trying to compete with the Chads out there because women are told they're entitled to those kind of men. What women are NOT told is these type of men are not the most virtuous. These men are known to lie, be arrogant, have little care for others, and see themselves above everyone else. What's sad is many women know this but simply don't care. It's as if they think they can change them in such a way where these men are only good to them but not to everyone else they don't like. Sadder yet, if these women did start a relationship with these kind of men and then it got called off by these guys, these ladies NEVER let go of them because they display in front of everyone that's what they want and they do what they can to get them back.
Meanwhile, the real gentlemen, the ones that do have all the qualities these women want, come up and ask these women out, only to be either A) rejected, or B) used for monkey branching. Monkey branching, if some don't know this, is basically where a person uses someone else to get someone who is seen as "better." This was (suspected to be) happening to me before this women's ex passed, it happened to my brother, and it happened to my best friend. It's not fun, and I know other men went through this and I never wish this on other guys.
In the end, with many of these women talking about what they want in a man, it's nothing but words to a lot of men, unless they act on them. What really should matter most is that gentlemen are godly and have given their lives to Christ. His qualities should be found in men across the board. If they're not there, then the man isn't as good as what you think. However, if any of you women go after men who are not Christ like, you're wasting your time and I question your faith. Not because I would rather you go out with guys like me, but rather your faith was put more so into the world rather the One who created and saved it.
I and many other men have been left out by women who say they want good men. I'll let people decide if I am or not, but I know men that are good and have done good deeds for others and continue to do so. Unfortunately, these type of men with the qualities listed on this thread are no longer desired nor sought out. They're just nice things to say rather a yearning for them.
I don't know about other men on here, but I had been hurt many times before because I was told by others I was a good guy and could get a woman without much effort. I try to be, and though I'm not perfect, I always find ways to improve myself. I'm not the best looking guy nor am I the worst looking, but rather interesting to look at because I'm like a lava lamp. Before, I was told personality mattered most. That's a lie. I lost a whole bunch of weight, hit the gym, and bought new clothes. More women became interested, but not the ones I was looking for. I want a godly woman, but the ones that I thought were turned out to be something else entirely. Even after the adjustments I made with my life, it didn't matter.
Sure, I might be seen as some as a gentleman, but what difference does it make when guys like me are not picked, especially if I was? So, instead, I'm choosing to remain single for the time being. I'm done with a bunch of these women telling me what they're looking for in a guy because nothing more than a big lie. Many of them want the rich (six figures or more), extremely good looking, arrogant, bad men with horrible personalities. Normal men don't have any place in the dating realm anymore, let alone gentlemen, so best we stay out of it. Doesn't mean I'm not happy, but it doesn't mean I approve of it either. And I hate seeing good men getting burned as well.
To conclude: to all the single, good men out there, focus on yourself, family, friends, and, most of all, God Himself, and don't focus on trying to get into a relationship with another woman. It'll end in heart break and disappointment. If a woman comes along and likes you for you, she needs to make it known to you that she does. If she plays games, like hard to get, or if she gives you the "I don't know" answer or makes up an excuse to get out of a date with you, forget about her and move on. Your time and happiness are valuable, and it's better to spend it with someone who actually appreciates and respects you for you. Hope this all helps.
