I can relate to many comments on here. I prefer being alone, because few understand me. even as a child, class president, team captain, The in crowd. But I was not happy being that. I sought deep friendships, not senseless banter. I stood up for the little guy, was protective. Put me in a crowd and I am uncomfortable. I do not know what to say. I am not shy, I work in an ER and talk with emotional people all day long. I care about the pain and hurt they go through. But my coworkers it is a different story. It feels like high school again. all the senseless gossip, and empty words. I am not a worldly person, so many topics do not interest me. I would be content in a cabin out in the woods, or a ranch or farm. With the ones I love. Small personal groups I enjoy, large crowds I do not. I do get lonely from time to time for a companion, but then I turn to the Lord to fill that void. When and if it is his will, he will send the man he made for me and i for him. I was married to a person pleaser. He would rather be out with his buddies than home with his family. I enjoy working with my man on a project. just to spend some time with him. woodworking, remodel, gardening, riding horses. I am an outside person. I love nature. He was not like me, he had to have the attention. the acceptance of others. I did not. I would rather be alone or in the company of loved ones. I am the way I am. I am polite and kind, but will not try to change who I am. I enjoy the woman God made. I do not want to fit in. Yes sometimes the world makes me feel like an outcast. But then I remember, they did that to Jesus as well. I have learned it is better to allow the Lord to shape me, than for me allow the world to try and change me. I know the Lord does not want me to go it alone. None of us are. I have found a small group of Christian women. We meet up from time to time. pray for each other, have bible studies, ect.. I used to think something was wrong with me. That the problem was mine. even when I first came here. I was lonely, a car wreck left me home. When I came here, and still today, I am not a joking, goofy person. when I sign on to chat few say hello to me. I am OK with that. because the ones that do talk with me, get to know who I am, and enjoy me for me. I have layers, and the few that take the time to know me, learn I am a deep, passionate person. I would rather have few very good, true, loving friends, that accept me for me, than a lot who want to change me, and will never be there in rough times. I am not shallow. I can be blunt, and always try to be honest. It has taken me many years to love who I am. I had to first learn my value, and my value is that my Lord loved me so much he died for me. My father knew my name before I was even born. I am loved for who and what I am, my Lord loves me the way I am, and if anything needs changing, he will change it. He is my maker, not this world.