Thank you all for taking the time to respond.
The idea of being alone with someone is so attractive. And those of you that have suggested it, you're right, I've met couples that have achieved it to some degree by understanding their spouses boundaries and needs, so there's definitely hope.
But while doing a different thing together is something lovely, I still want to be able to spend quality time without being resentful (like a jerk)... I don't ever want to resent my prospective spouse just for being near me (again, like a jerk).
For a real life example of what I hope for, I've only met one couple who are both total introverts who like the same things, and can enjoy those things together, but still recharge as though they're alone: "hanging out with him is like being alone", my friend affectionately refers to her husband.
They hit the relationship lottery, I know it. They both know how lucky they are to have met another human being that never feels like they're being drained by the others their presence...
I guess what I'm wondering is, am I expecting too much to find that too? Someone who doesn't EVER drain me, someone with whom I can share close personal space and still relax as though I'm alone.[/QUOt
You sort of shoot yourself in the foot if you ask for someone who doesn't ever drain you. You meet someone and because you are nervous that they will drain you you are tense and therefore stressed which will drain you. Your own fear will drain you and make it an overwhelming experience. Don't look for a relationship. Do not meet someone worrying how they will disappoint you or not fit perfectly. Go and meet a person. It is the expectations that are killing the moment. Even really good quality shoes take a little time before they have that perfect fit. Consider what you have to offer someone and focus on showing her that rather than waiting for her to prove her worthiness. Best of luck.