Advice For Singles

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LittleMermaid

Guest
#1
#1
I have noticed pretty much all my life how singles seem to be overly fixated on finding "the one" that they forget to live right now for God and for themselves. For example, I have a friend who was doing really well academically. Her sophomore year of college, she met someone, rushed into a serious relationship, and quit school to be his wife. I understand that people want to get married and start families. But now that I talk to this friend of mine, she tells me to take things slowly and to do things for myself before I marry.

So I was wondering...if those who are married or involved with someone...would you kindly tell us what we should be doing right now? What are some things you wanted to do and now you don't have as much time for? What are the things you did not understand until you got married or had children? Also, if you could give us any inspiration or other thoughts/words of advice, we would all appreciate it. :)

I personally have never really been desperate for someone. But I do get a little concerned that I'm getting older and I know if I want to have a family...I would have to hurry up. :( But I have noticed a few brothers and sisters here who seem to be overly fixated on finding someone. The ultimate question is...how do we get to a point of accepting that it might not in be in the cards for us, ever?

To singles, how would you feel if you just never got married? Would you still be satisfied with life? If not, what are some things you can start doing today to make yourself feel joy without a spouse?
 
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toinena

Guest
#2
#2
I got together with my ex when I was half way through Music Academy. Moved in with him after half a year. Engaged half a year later. Married the following year.

Basically it ruined the last two years of my studies. I passed, but I was too caught up in the romance thing to do well at anything else. And I didn't do well in the romance department either. A six years older man that had slept with more women than I dare to think of. It was my first boyfriend. It was doomed. Because it was based on a lie. It was based on a false need of fitting in, and trying to do the right thing. Right thing meant sleeping together before getting married. Moving in together where he lived on my funds, spending my student loan on his needs of alcohol and cigarettes.

He was the old one. I was the adult one.

My tips: don't get married to your first boyfriend.
Date and take it slow before even thinking of getting intimate
Don't get intimate before you get married.
And never, ever leave God out of it.
Last, but this is the most important. If you see any signs of violence, verbal abuse, alcohol or drug abuse.... RUN! No excuses. (And if you have got intimate before that happens, it makes it so much harder)

What if I never marry again? I can pick a husband candidate. I can dream. But it is not up to me. It is three that have to be in agreement. Him, me and God. If one is not in, then I am out.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#3
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#3
Marriage- Don't do it, you're too young to die.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#4
Aug 13, 2014
24,913
8,167
113
#4
LittleMermaid said:
To singles, how would you feel if you just never got married? Would you still be satisfied with life? If not, what are some things you can start doing today to make yourself feel joy without a spouse?
Click to expand...
I won't know how I feel about never getting married until I get to the end of my life and see if I'm still single. Until then I just live my life, help people around me when it is feasible, enjoy the things that I find enjoyable and... just live. But I DO live, I don't merely exist.

From what I have observed from other people, if you don't have joy now you won't find joy just from being married. Happiness is a transient emotion you feel. Joy is a permanent thing (unless you change your world view) that doesn't come and go with being married or single. "Count it all joy" as the Bible says.
 
Sonflower

Sonflower

Senior Member
#5
Jan 30, 2016
850
147
43
#5
After being married, then single again...I would say my advice is, do not let those words define you. Married and/or single don't define or dictate how I'm going to live my life for Jesus. How I live my life for Jesus dictates who I am in all aspects of my life, including relationships.

I try to focus on what I can do, right now, for the Lord. What can I give with the gifts He has given me? How can I serve? I sought out friendships...relationships...then swore off doing that...and went back to making friends. Making friends is a lot better than searching for love, in my opinion. I think in making friends potential mates can reveal themselves. So, I started building friendships and focused on where can I serve right now with the abilities God has given me and whether I'm single or married is irrelevant to that.
 
jameen

jameen

Senior Member
#8
Feb 5, 2018
540
150
43
36
Manila
#8
LittleMermaid said:
I have noticed pretty much all my life how singles seem to be overly fixated on finding "the one" that they forget to live right now for God and for themselves. For example, I have a friend who was doing really well academically. Her sophomore year of college, she met someone, rushed into a serious relationship, and quit school to be his wife. I understand that people want to get married and start families. But now that I talk to this friend of mine, she tells me to take things slowly and to do things for myself before I marry.

So I was wondering...if those who are married or involved with someone...would you kindly tell us what we should be doing right now? What are some things you wanted to do and now you don't have as much time for? What are the things you did not understand until you got married or had children? Also, if you could give us any inspiration or other thoughts/words of advice, we would all appreciate it. :)

I personally have never really been desperate for someone. But I do get a little concerned that I'm getting older and I know if I want to have a family...I would have to hurry up. :( But I have noticed a few brothers and sisters here who seem to be overly fixated on finding someone. The ultimate question is...how do we get to a point of accepting that it might not in be in the cards for us, ever?

To singles, how would you feel if you just never got married? Would you still be satisfied with life? If not, what are some things you can start doing today to make yourself feel joy without a spouse?
Click to expand...
if I am not married then I feel my life is boring and a little bit sad. I need someone a female partner who will become also the pillar of my strength that she will be my helper and adviser.

but I believe marriage is a choice. If you don't befriend a lot of opposite sex and choose who to date and later have a relationship with then most likely you will end up an old single lady/gentleman.

I believe God introduces to us some people because of some reasons. I believe and if you also believe that someday you will meet the one given to you by the Lord as love partner then it will happen. just always pray and believe and make sure you live with righteousness in accordance to the teachings of the Lord that can be read in the Holy Bible.

learn to be patient/meek/kindhearted/merciful

remember that a prudent wife/husband is more worthy than a ruby. a ruby is not that easy to find so what's more something more worth than a ruby?
 
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