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Put your faith in God to do what is right for you. You are still wanting God to give you want YOU want when YOU want it how YOU want it. It's all about you, you, you. But, tell me, what have you done to prepare yourself for your mate? Right now, I'll agree, it needs to be about you. You've got a lot of problems in you life (like your anxiety) that needs to be fixed. Until you can get over yourself, humble yourself to God and His will for you, and be able to focus on your mate instead of yourself, you're going to be constantly miserable with your situation. Just from reading your posts I can tell you are in no way ready for the responsibility and HARD WORK that goes into marriage. You're still thinking too much about what gratification YOU can get from having a g/f and not about what you have to give them.
Humble yourself, heal yourself, and then start seeking someone. God has a plan for you, whether you like it or not, His will is what's best for you.
Humble yourself, heal yourself, and then start seeking someone. God has a plan for you, whether you like it or not, His will is what's best for you.