Hi Brian,
Everything that God does, is a matter of timing. We present our requests to God, and we then have the patience to allow him to do what we’ve asked. If it isn’t God’s will for you to marry, he will give you grace to be single for the rest of your life. If you still desire a mate, God is certainly able to provide an encounter at the right time. ‘AliKat’, posted some very good and insightful, information, and ‘seoulsearch’s’ comment about working through issues is, in my opinion, sound advice.
I want you to know that I don’t perceive any of your posts as whiny. You’ve mentioned several times about a social anxiety disorder, and a few other areas you’re still working on. Getting rid of as much baggage as you can, before you marry, will be valuable to your future spouse.
I know that, depending on the level of your social anxiety, you may tend to be overly concerned about what people think of you, and responses to posts most certainly reveal that, and hurtful posts can be intensified in their affect, because of that anxiety. But I want you to know that no one here knows you the way that God knows you, and no one here can love you or make you feel as safe, or as positive concerning your future, as God can, so in addition to asking the members of CC, continue to express these things to God.
Everyone experiences a little social anxiety from time to time, but being afraid of making mistakes, fearfully anticipating and avoiding social gatherings, in addition to having distorted thoughts about the way people feel about you, can be tormenting. As much as it is possible, focus on ‘you’ for now. Build as many healthy relationships as you feel comfortable building. The more you interact with others, the less the unfounded suspicions about the people and the world around you, will negatively impact on your life. Communication is key. I encourage you to begin building relationships, not on the premise of finding a ‘girlfriend’, but simply making friends. If one of those friendships develops into something more, let it run its course, but I do strongly encourage you not to limit your friendships to the members of this site. You need real contact, with real people, with whom you have real experiences, and unlimited support.
Finding an area where you can serve in your church, can provide a little purpose, and can also increase the potential for building healthy relationships. Social anxiety is rooted in fear, and while it is difficult in today’s world to build trusting relationships, do your best with God’s help.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 …There is a time for everything, and a season for every purpose under Heaven…
