Are Christians allowed to have boyfriends?
- Thread starter Tymilo
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M
Well sometimes I think it is a bit difficult to use the bible for this question because back when the OT was being filled out, there was no such thing as dating. Wives were either purchased or their parents would choose a husband for them. But I know your not asking about a husband.
But seeing as how the bible primarily is orientated towards marriage I would think that dating for the purpose of finding a lifelong mate would be acceptable.
If your too young to consider marriage, then your ok because of human nature, most of us long to be with another, so hanging out with someone would be ok. But that is where you have to be careful because of mans and womans sin nature, just gentle kissing or hugging can lead to fornication...which is a whole other subject.
Matt
But seeing as how the bible primarily is orientated towards marriage I would think that dating for the purpose of finding a lifelong mate would be acceptable.
If your too young to consider marriage, then your ok because of human nature, most of us long to be with another, so hanging out with someone would be ok. But that is where you have to be careful because of mans and womans sin nature, just gentle kissing or hugging can lead to fornication...which is a whole other subject.
Matt
S
I think I qualify as a person who has never really had a "christian" boyfriend. I can say that there is great temptation when having a boyfriend. That is just from my experience. I think it really depends on the person and their ability to manage the situation. For myself, I think I would be better off as friends until I was absolutely sure he was the one. My once perspective of no qualms about premarital sex has changed to avoid kissing anyone unless you absolutely love them. You limit the no escape zone from happening with the Wrong Dude!
In my old church, they had the concept of "Courting." Basically you would first get a "Friendship" with a member of the opposite sex who you liked, which would allow you to converse frequently and visit together - "moderated visits."
If you both liked each-other you could move on and get engaged. No one was allowed to kiss until they were engaged.
Since a "Friendship" was declared to everyone, it was rare for anyone to not complete their friendship into marriage. There was no such thing as dating and moving from potential partner to potential partner. No one entered a "Friendship" unless they were given loads of advice and their walk was solid and they were both certain it was something that they really wanted.
No Christian should "Court" another unless their walk is solid.
Quest
If you both liked each-other you could move on and get engaged. No one was allowed to kiss until they were engaged.
Since a "Friendship" was declared to everyone, it was rare for anyone to not complete their friendship into marriage. There was no such thing as dating and moving from potential partner to potential partner. No one entered a "Friendship" unless they were given loads of advice and their walk was solid and they were both certain it was something that they really wanted.
No Christian should "Court" another unless their walk is solid.
Quest
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Well, it became one, especially in Australia where the Overseer is. Where I was in Canada, I had Godly people on every side.
I take the good from that church, and I leave the bad. There was very much good to be found.
Almost everyone that I knew closely and loved dearly from the church left when they found out what was going on. Only one person that I really cared about is still there, and she had such a profound affect on me early on.
Regarding this thread however Sharp, I don't see how any of the things that I mentioned were evil. I think it promoted purity, and married many a happy couple who waited for each-other until their wedding night. Beside which, I think that these very things that I mentioned, were just common sense amongst Christian folk in the 1800s, for example. Only in today's sin tolerant society is this looked down upon.
Quest
I take the good from that church, and I leave the bad. There was very much good to be found.
Almost everyone that I knew closely and loved dearly from the church left when they found out what was going on. Only one person that I really cared about is still there, and she had such a profound affect on me early on.
Regarding this thread however Sharp, I don't see how any of the things that I mentioned were evil. I think it promoted purity, and married many a happy couple who waited for each-other until their wedding night. Beside which, I think that these very things that I mentioned, were just common sense amongst Christian folk in the 1800s, for example. Only in today's sin tolerant society is this looked down upon.
Quest
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X
ha does sound a bit funny!!
but two of my friends have actually just gone into courting!!
They really liked each other and wanted more... one couple is about 19 and the other is late 20's.
so bascially they're together but with limited physcial aspects - no kissing til the wedding day.
(personally i don't agree but yea!!) they find it good for them. especially as one of the guys has had previous relationships where things went very wrong physically - he doesn't want to temp himself. so i see where he's coming from
but yea, courting is for some people (not for me....)
but two of my friends have actually just gone into courting!!
They really liked each other and wanted more... one couple is about 19 and the other is late 20's.
so bascially they're together but with limited physcial aspects - no kissing til the wedding day.
(personally i don't agree but yea!!) they find it good for them. especially as one of the guys has had previous relationships where things went very wrong physically - he doesn't want to temp himself. so i see where he's coming from
but yea, courting is for some people (not for me....)
N
I laughed when I read this, I grew up like this. There are some very good principles with this view. However I think its wrong to "be friends" because it encourages bad communication from the start. I don't go out and date random girls either. I always felt there was a balance. "like hey your a nice person I have enjoyed talking to you here at church after service a few times would you like to get coffee and get to know each other better?"