WEAKNESS
Luke 22:31-34
31And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:
32But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.
33And he said unto him, Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death.
34And he said, I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me.
Luke 22:60-62
60And Peter said, Man, I know not what thou sayest. And immediately, while he yet spake, the cock crew.
61And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.
62And Peter went out, and wept bitterly.
I like Peter. He wasn't perfect, but he had enthusiasm. He was like a Labrador puppy, full of energy, ready to go go GO and as often as not doing the wrong thing. But every time he messed up, he backed up, got going straight again and kept on going.
This chapter in Luke marks the lowest point where we ever see Peter. He has told Jesus he will follow Jesus anywhere, even if it brings him death - a brave statement. Jesus responds that before the next new day is well advanced Peter will deny him three times. In other books of the Bible we find Peter and the other disciples all denying this, affirming they will indeed follow Jesus anywhere.
Then Jesus is taken by the mob and the disciples all scatter. Peter follows from a distance, people recognize him as one of Jesus' disciples and Peter winds up denying any connection with Jesus three times. Then he realizes what he has done and, heartbroken at his own weakness, that he would deny Jesus for fear of his own safety, he goes out and weeps bitterly.
The important thing was, he didn't stay there.
Oh Peter didn't become perfect after that failure. He never was a spiritual superman. Although he got out of the boat and walked on water, his faith wavered and he started sinking. He didn't believe Mary when she said Jesus had risen. God had to get it through Peter's head that God could make unclean things clean before Peter was in any shape to preach salvation to the Gentile Cornelius.And after Gentiles were added to the church, when some Jews came to visit Peter tried so hard to keep up appearances that Paul had to reprimand him for shunning the Gentiles.
But Peter kept getting up one more time. Peter did walk on the water, something nobody else except Jesus has ever done to this day. Peter was the one who was given the keys to the kingdom of Heaven, to unlock the door for salvation to the Samaritans and Gentiles. Peter saw so many miracles that we don't have a count of how many happened around him. Peter was so close to God, so full of God's spirit that if his shadow passed over a person that person would be healed. Peter had an awesome ministry and a very exciting life.
Maybe you're like Peter. Maybe you have been so confident that you will follow Jesus everywhere, only to have your nose rubbed in your own weakness as soon as you turn around. Maybe you have failed in such a spectacular way that you just have to be impressed that you found a way to mess things up so thoroughly.
Maybe you just feel like going off by yourself and crying. And that's okay. It's natural to feel bad when you fail. I have fallen a few times myself and nobody knew but me and God, but I have felt like curling up in a ball and crying for a while. You're human, you're not perfect, it is possible to mess up and when you do it hurts. A lot.
Just don't stay there.
I've seen many people fail God in many ways. The difference is that some people fall and give up, while some get up and keep going. Some dwell on their mistakes until they convince themselves it's better to stay down. After all, if you're down you can't fall any further, right?
But if you stay down you'll never be able to reach for the things you could have.
Go ahead and cry for a while. Then get up, dust yourself off and start talking to God again. You have a great future and the power behind it is God's power. You can be a mighty influence, you can change many people's lives, you can bring joy and light to countless people who are alone in their darkness. It may be hard to believe it right now, so soon after you have tripped over your own feet, but you can do anything through God.
Everybody gets down sometimes. The people you look up to have been down sometimes. Believe it or not, they aren't any stronger than you. They just didn't stay down.