Are you thick-skinned or thin-skinned? Online and in Real Life

[zeroturbulence]

Are you thick-skinned or thin-skinned? Online and in Real Life

Thick-skinned means you aren't bothered much by personal attacks/ disagreements/ insults, etc..

Thin-skinned means you are sensitive to personal attacks/ disagreements/ insults, etc.



Also...

Do you have any stories to tell about a time when you felt attacked or unfairly judged online or in real life??

Do you have any advice for others??

 

[CC_Bride]

I guess for me it depends on the people and how close I am to them how much mutual respect there is. To strangers I can appear as very blunt and tactless and insensitive. And if my house got burgled Id be angry but Id get over it soon enough.
Whereas with people Im close to (whether I like it or not), Im quite sensitive to verbal put downs. In my line of work, I get criticised all the time (though they call it constructive I disagree) and that hurts a lot so I get stressed over a period of time but outwardly I have to suck it in, harden up and take the blows or else Im viewed as unprofessional and disrespectful.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

I've learned not to put much - if any - stock into people, their actions, and moreover: their words. After the things that transpired in the backwash of my first break up, I kinda hardened over on several counts.

 

[Jullianna]

Some people are simply ill mannered, which is more of a reflection on them than on me, so I don't take it personally. Most people see it for what it is, right? And a lot of people, especially online, do it intentionally just to provoke a reaction. It's their way of calling attention to themselves. Psych 101...negative attention is better to some than no attention at all, but why encourage it?

The only thing I've ever been bothered by online were unrequested/unprovoked comments re: my relationship with my deceased husband and/or my son by total strangers who knew nothing about either of them. Some things are off limits. You don't mess with someone's family. That's way over the line and is pretty much the only sensitivity I have.

 

[Jullianna]

(Not sure what happened. I wasn't finished with my post. I musta bumped something on my keyboard )

There are a lot of people who, when called on their behavior, will say that they are simply "direct". One can be direct without being a jerk....

It always amazes me that some folks will say things while hiding behind a computer monitor that they would never have the ..ummm...let's just say nerve...to say to someone in person.

 

[jimsun]

My approach to life generally is forthright, direct but at least given honestly.

I'm told my attitude comes from me being Irish & from Cork. I think it's mostly inherited from my Mother! I treat everyone with the respect that I expect from them. In the end, as long as my views are honestly held, I don't think I can be criticised.

However the thick skin is undoubtedly a by-product of my work. Bouncing around various Court environments throughout Europe, the unfortunate fact is, in prosecutions, I often must suggest/put it to a witness that they are not being honest. For want of a better expression, thats the name of the game I'm in.

In a nutshell? I believe in Justice & Truth - which means, to echo Mr Bumble, sometimes "the law is an ass"!

J+

 

[Ritter]

I have decent armor, but there certainly are points of vulnerability.

 

[LightningClap0002]

Hmm, maybe I need to change my answer. My skin must be pretty thin, you can see all the little veins and everything!

 

[Ugly]

(Not sure what happened. I wasn't finished with my post. I musta bumped something on my keyboard )

There are a lot of people who, when called on their behavior, will say that they are simply "direct". One can be direct without being a jerk....

It always amazes me that some folks will say things while hiding behind a computer monitor that they would never have the ..ummm...let's just say nerve...to say to someone in person.

*looks around innocently....

 

[Liz01]

ay Ugly hahahahahaha

 

[Oncefallen]

I have to agree Jullianna, I have pretty thick skin when it comes to people attacking me, with the exception of attacking my personal integrity, that is a touchy spot for me. However, if someone attacks my family or someone else I love, I'm considerably more likely to come unglued. Some topics are just out of bounds except for closer friends and family that have established the relationship that is necessary to broach those subjects in a tactful manner.

 

[Jullianna]

LOL @ Ugly! I can almost hear the whistling from here

Oncefallen: So true. It's kinda like when you are a kid and someone starts something with a brother or sister. It's okay for YOU to get upset or scuffle with them, but nobody else better ever try it. Family is ...family. Though I have to admit to being pretty protective of my friends as well.

It's one thing if you actually ASK for input, but folks who chime in uninvited is a whole other thing. I've talked about a lot of things online, very personal things, but not once have I ever asked for anyone's opinion of my family. That just doesn't seem respectful to them.

 

[Elizabeth619]

Online I am sarcastic and blunt.

In real life I am reserved and ladylike. I also have a talent for insulting people with a smile and making them think they got a compliment.

I am me. Moody, and scatterbrained...you never know how I may act, but I am also loving and compassionate.

 

[Relena7]

I'm sensitive about misunderstandings, and people thinking lies about me based on what they think I said, because I struggle with wording things to my exact satisfaction, and sometimes people can easily get the wrong idea about me and my intentions.

I am more thick-skinned about attacks that sound so obviously rude, that I just know other people will notice their rudeness and side with me. Then it's like I don't even have to be upset by it because other people are being upset by it for me...if that makes any sense, lol.

It's more the unnoticed subtle injustices that go unnoticed by most people that get under my skin, because those are less likely to be resolved or taken seriously.


So in short - it varies with me.

 

[Jullianna]

I'm sensitive about misunderstandings, and people thinking lies about me based on what they think I said, because I struggle with wording things to my exact satisfaction, and sometimes people can easily get the wrong idea about me and my intentions.

I am more thick-skinned about attacks that sound so obviously rude, that I just know other people will notice their rudeness and side with me. Then it's like I don't even have to be upset by it because other people are being upset by it for me...if that makes any sense, lol.

It's more the unnoticed subtle injustices that go unnoticed by most people that get under my skin, because those are less likely to be resolved or taken seriously.


So in short - it varies with me.

I love that you care about this. =) Many people don't. The cool thing is that they don't go unnoticed by God. This gives me peace. Hope it will for you as well.

 

[Relena7]

I love that you care about this. =) Many people don't. The cool thing is that they don't go unnoticed by God. This gives me peace. Hope it will for you as well.

That is a good way to look at it, Jullianna. =)

I wish more public schools would care about these things, though, to name one thing. I think there would be a lot less bullying if they did.

 

[violakat]

It depends on my mood. Some days nothing can phase me, but then other days, especially if I've been hurt, mad, or just feel like I have to walk eggshells around someone, then not so thick skinned.

 

[violakat]

That is a good way to look at it, Jullianna. =)

I wish more public schools would care about these things, though, to name one thing. I think there would be a lot less bullying if they did.

In some cases, those who are considered bullies are actually being bullied by those they are considered bulling. They are actually just defending themselves and end up being caught. Teachers, unfortunately can't always see the little faces, hear the snide remarks being made, or see all the other things used to antagonize the "Bullies," but they usually can see the results of when someone attacks.

 

[Relena7]

In some cases, those who are considered bullies are actually being bullied by those they are considered bulling. They are actually just defending themselves and end up being caught. Teachers, unfortunately can't always see the little faces, hear the snide remarks being made, or see all the other things used to antagonize the "Bullies," but they usually can see the results of when someone attacks.

That is exactly the kind of subtle injustice I was talking about.

 

[Liz01]

I have pretty thin skin, I dont like attacks or insults because i like respect.
But im very polite and careful with the feelings of others too, besides that, the last 5 years i have worked in jobs in which i have needed to be extremly careful in the way i talk with ppl so i guess its something about habits too.