As Christians, How Can We Take a Stance Against Society's Constant Pairing of Sex With Violence?

[kovin3ii]

Honestly, I think as Christians, one of the first steps is just being willing to talk about it openly - breaking the silence around these issues helps people feel less alone and more supported. We can also be careful about what we consume and encourage others to do the same, choosing media that respects dignity rather than glamorizing violence.

 

[Suze]

I've thrown a lot of darts in pubs in England, and eaten meals in the pubs as well. It's too bad that those places seem to be going away.

It really is , I feel sorry for the older generation , widows and widowers who live alone and would sit in the pub with their old friends and c people from their area and chat and feel part of a community , not any more 😕 .

 

[Subhumanoidal]

I have to confess, I don't know much about porn, but I have no doubt what you're saying is true from the things I read and reports I listen to.

I always have an interest in trying to foster and encourage healthy reactions between men and women -- but I admit that with so much working against us all, it often feels hopeless.

As the angels in heaven rejoice when just one soul is saved, so should we rejoice when we change even one person's life for the better.

 

[Suze]

This makes me so sad for your friend -- I'm so glad she at least had you and another friend to talk to, even if neither of you were married.

I get so frustrated because people will say, "Talk things out BEFORE marriage! Talk about it in pre-marriage counseling! You should have known better! You should have talked it out!" I don't know what others' experiences have been, but finding anyone to talk about ANY of these things when I was growing up was impossible. When I got married, I don't think the pastor even MENTIONED sex during our "pre-marital counseling", except, of course, to wait until we were actually married.

In my experience, no one in church talks about much of anything that people are really struggling with behind the masks.

Part of the reasons I've struggled with depression/suicidal feelings even as a Christian, which some say is impossible -- but for me it wasn't, because I couldn't find anyone at the time whom I could trust or was willing to talk to about what bothered me most.

Even as as I was becoming an older teenager, I told God, "I can't find anyone open enough or trustworthy enough to talk to, so when I grow up, please help me to be that person to someone else."

And because I'm honored to have the privilege of various people who talk to me, particularly younger women, I am thankful to God for answering that prayer.

This is also exactly why I write the threads I do, because no one talked about these things, and it would have saved me a lot of self-destructive habits if they would have.

I just hope to be able to help someone else in the process.

Some people r just very shy though , especially young people . The only reason I talk so openly on here is because we can't c each other and r probably not going to ever meet , in this life for sure . The thought of talking about sex to a pre marriage counselor , at any age , would have freaked me out , I would not b able to do it , even now I couldn't . Also , I'm guessing it's very hard to talk about something that u have never experienced .
In person I'm quite chatty and friendly but , I don't talk about serious stuff , not my serious stuff with anyone except God and maybe my husband . I'm happy to listen to others talk about anything but I'm not sharing important stuff , private stuff , with anyone .
I remember when I was little and lived with my grandparents , I can't remember what exactly happened but I know that I had said something to one of our neighbours about something that had happened in my grandparents house . I told my grandad what I had been talking about with the neighbours and he looked at me very sternly and said ' what happens in here stays in here , u don't talk about what grandma and me talk about ' , also when I was a kid , if I was in a room with adults and they wanted to talk about something grown up , they would tell me to go outside and play , I actually think that's a good thing to do , is that wrong of me ? Maybe it's a cultural thing . We british really do believe in the stiff upper lip and suffering in silence etc . The internet is definitely changing that attitude to some extent but , people my age and older r still very reluctant to discuss ' private ' matters .
If any of u guys met me in person u might b surprised at how very shy I am face to face .

 

[Subhumanoidal]

Some people r just very shy though , especially young people . The only reason I talk so openly on here is because we can't c each other and r probably not going to ever meet , in this life for sure . The thought of talking about sex to a pre marriage counselor , at any age , would have freaked me out , I would not b able to do it , even now I couldn't . Also , I'm guessing it's very hard to talk about something that u have never experienced .
In person I'm quite chatty and friendly but , I don't talk about serious stuff , not my serious stuff with anyone except God and maybe my husband . I'm happy to listen to others talk about anything but I'm not sharing important stuff , private stuff , with anyone .
I remember when I was little and lived with my grandparents , I can't remember what exactly happened but I know that I had said something to one of our neighbours about something that had happened in my grandparents house . I told my grandad what I had been talking about with the neighbours and he looked at me very sternly and said ' what happens in here stays in here , u don't talk about what grandma and me talk about ' , also when I was a kid , if I was in a room with adults and they wanted to talk about something grown up , they would tell me to go outside and play , I actually think that's a good thing to do , is that wrong of me ? Maybe it's a cultural thing . We british really do believe in the stiff upper lip and suffering in silence etc . The internet is definitely changing that attitude to some extent but , people my age and older r still very reluctant to discuss ' private ' matters .
If any of u guys met me in person u might b surprised at how very shy I am face to face .

I, too, am more outspoken online than in person. At least at first. Once I get more familiar with someone i can become quite chatty at times. Otherwise in person social interactions with new people or strangers makes me very nervous.
I can even think of many times when maybe standing in line for the cashier friendly people turning to chat or comment on what's going on. I hate that as I get flustered and don't know what to say back. So I'll try to think of something that sounds normal, but when I say it they give me this funny look and just turn around without another word. Then when I go back and think about it I cringe at what I said 😂

 

[Suze]

I, too, am more outspoken online than in person. At least at first. Once I get more familiar with someone i can become quite chatty at times. Otherwise in person social interactions with new people or strangers makes me very nervous.
I can even think of many times when maybe standing in line for the cashier friendly people turning to chat or comment on what's going on. I hate that as I get flustered and don't know what to say back. So I'll try to think of something that sounds normal, but when I say it they give me this funny look and just turn around without another word. Then when I go back and think about it I cringe at what I said 😂

Oh I know , im sure people who work in shops r told that they have to b friendly and chatty with the customers but it makes me uncomfortable too . I hate it when they comment on what I'm buying , half the time what I'm buying isn't for me but for my mum and , I've been asked rather inappropriate questions a few times . I would never ever complain about the staff in shops because I couldn't bear the thought of anyone getting into trouble on my account but in my usual shops , there r staff that I will completely avoid because they r just too chatty 🙄 .
It seems that in this day and age , especially with people bearing their innards all over the internet , shy people r seen as weirdos 😬 .

 

[Subhumanoidal]

Oh I know , im sure people who work in shops r told that they have to b friendly and chatty with the customers but it makes me uncomfortable too . I hate it when they comment on what I'm buying , half the time what I'm buying isn't for me but for my mum and , I've been asked rather inappropriate questions a few times . I would never ever complain about the staff in shops because I couldn't bear the thought of anyone getting into trouble on my account but in my usual shops , there r staff that I will completely avoid because they r just too chatty 🙄 .
It seems that in this day and age , especially with people bearing their innards all over the internet , shy people r seen as weirdos 😬 .

Well isn't this chattiness a bit newer in the UK? As an American its normal and what you grew up with. Though it seems less common than it used to be, especially at big stores.
I'd always felt shy people had a harder time in the past. With the internet came more knowledge about different types of people and personalities. And even has a lot of shy people using it since it's easier to speak online than in person.
At least that's been my perception.

 

[Suze]

Well isn't this chattiness a bit newer in the UK? As an American its normal and what you grew up with. Though it seems less common than it used to be, especially at big stores.
I'd always felt shy people had a harder time in the past. With the internet came more knowledge about different types of people and personalities. And even has a lot of shy people using it since it's easier to speak online than in person.
At least that's been my perception.

I was talking to one of my step daughters the other day , telling her where I had been and she was stunned that I had gone shopping on my own , she felt so sorry for me ! I tried to explain that I'm quite happy doing things on my own but she genuinely didn't believe me , it was ridiculous . I wonder if it's to do with bring an only child ? I have 5 step daughters and they r very open and friendly , probably because of the fact that they have always had company . Maybe it's mostly only children that r a bit shy and more comfortable on their own than in a group ?

 

[Subhumanoidal]

I was talking to one of my step daughters the other day , telling her where I had been and she was stunned that I had gone shopping on my own , she felt so sorry for me ! I tried to explain that I'm quite happy doing things on my own but she genuinely didn't believe me , it was ridiculous . I wonder if it's to do with bring an only child ? I have 5 step daughters and they r very open and friendly , probably because of the fact that they have always had company . Maybe it's mostly only children that r a bit shy and more comfortable on their own than in a group ?

I believe it comes down to personality type. Extroverts would have a harder time doing things alone than introverts.
I'm an introvert and even around 17-18ish I went to movies alone. Admittedly it was a little weird at first, but I grew to enjoy it. I could pick whatever I wanted to see, no hassle. Picking times? No problem. I only had myself to worry about.
In my 30s I did the same thing as well.

I have seen many, mostly women, act like it's crazy to do this. And how they could never do such a thing. Or they'd be too awkward or embarrassed.