Brotherly and Sisterly Love...

[CharliRenee]

It's cuz we have trust issues duhhhhh. Seriously though I tend not to trust people when it comes to "opening up" or whatevs. With Christians I'm pretty open, at least more open then i am with my family. I do struggle with my family and expressing love cuz I'm not sure how to, my sister says i tend to give things to people i care about but maybe they don't see it that way. I have a serious problem with showing any type of emotions to anyone that isn't Christian, and even then I only show so much. Also i have like serious problems with older men, men in general really, so yea that could be why people like me just don't like to be vulnerable cuz then we can be hurt so we hide how we feel under something stronger to protect ourselves. Of course that means we rarely get express those emotions so we can look very cold on the surface. My family is also split so i have no idea what a group of different people would do together or how they would talk. I can't go to my grandma and talk about like anime, or working out i doubt she'd care lol. That causes problems cuz then i just don't know what to talk about and don't say anything. I say this cuz the body of Christ could have similar problems the only thing is we all have common ground in Christ so that's what connects us. I don't have to like cats to hang out with blue, we can talk about Christ at the very least and that helps bring us together. Even then though I don't fully express myself to anyone really, God and wifey( if i ever get one) are probably the only people who I'll trust enough to even think about expressing myself to.

You nailed it with the trust thing, thankfully He is watching our backs. We, ourselves, need to be wise, but also gentle. I guess that speaks to balance. I think when we are too guarded it diminishes the love's capacity to connect. You know, the Jesus in me connecting with the Jesus in you. I suppose though, that just means we need to pray more for one another. We all need Him, His Love and Mercy, more. You rock, my younger bro.

Thank you for expressing here as you did. I like learning more about you, lightbright. God Bless you and yours.

 

[LightBright]

You nailed it with the trust thing, thankfully He is watching our backs. We, ourselves, need to be wise, but also gentle. I guess that speaks to balance. I think when we are too guarded it diminishes the love's capacity to connect. You know, the Jesus in me connecting with the Jesus in you. I suppose though, that just means we need to pray more for one another. We all need Him, His Love and Mercy, more. You rock, my younger bro.

Thank you for expressing here as you did. I like learning more about you, lightbright. God Bless you and yours.

It's all good thanks for the kind words God bless.

 

[cinder]

The other thing to remember is that there are different levels of intimacy (even in friendships) in different situations. So there are some friends I'll just walk up and hug at church, no questions about whether or not we're going to hug. There are a few friends (and my brother) at work that I've known just as long or longer than people at church and probably had more discussions with them, but I doubt I'll ever walk into work and hug people, even people that are ok with being hugged by me in other contexts. The difficulty is that as singles we are much more rarely exposed to hugging contexts (home and family and all the connections that come with having to at least be acquainted with the parents of your children's friends, etc). So we feel less warmth from others than we might expect based on the contexts we see them in.

Also emotional warmth is somewhat an outflow of personality. Some of you have it and some of us by nature don't show much emotion towards other people and / or don't like being touched. Lack of emotional warmth doesn't necessarily mean people don't care, but just as I find it difficult to connect with people on intellectually shallow topics, those who are high in the emotional warmth department probably have difficulty feeling connected or accepted by people who don't so much do emotions (even when said non-emotional people like you just fine and are more than willing to practically help if your practical needs are made known).

 

[CharliRenee]

The other thing to remember is that there are different levels of intimacy (even in friendships) in different situations. So there are some friends I'll just walk up and hug at church, no questions about whether or not we're going to hug. There are a few friends (and my brother) at work that I've known just as long or longer than people at church and probably had more discussions with them, but I doubt I'll ever walk into work and hug people, even people that are ok with being hugged by me in other contexts. The difficulty is that as singles we are much more rarely exposed to hugging contexts (home and family and all the connections that come with having to at least be acquainted with the parents of your children's friends, etc). So we feel less warmth from others than we might expect based on the contexts we see them in.

Also emotional warmth is somewhat an outflow of personality. Some of you have it and some of us by nature don't show much emotion towards other people and / or don't like being touched. Lack of emotional warmth doesn't necessarily mean people don't care, but just as I find it difficult to connect with people on intellectually shallow topics, those who are high in the emotional warmth department probably have difficulty feeling connected or accepted by people who don't so much do emotions (even when said non-emotional people like you just fine and are more than willing to practically help if your practical needs are made known).

BAM!!! I need to keep these truths in mind, meaning we all have a different expressions of the way we love, different personalities and mindsets. I tend to be expressive (too much so sometimes) and that can do 2 things, one be off putting to those who don't feel comfortable with that kind of interaction and two it can put the demonstrative person in a vulnerable position, susceptible to hurt feelings if it is rejected in anyway. You have a reasonable mind. It is a blessing. Thank you, Sister.