By What Age Should Someone Own/Have Bought a House?

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MsMediator

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Mar 8, 2022
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Apartments without bathrooms/toilets are increasingly becoming normalized in NYC yet are still very expensive. Hope this trend doesn't spread to other cities.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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My daughter has her own house with her 5 kids, a husband, and various pets. My wife's daughter stays with us off and on, and also with a friend in another town. No, my wife's daughter does not like living with us on a full-time basis.
your daughter isnt actually on her own then she has husband and five kids.

your wifes daughter stays with friends so she isnt 'on her own' either. She possibly finds her friends a bit easier to live with..but thats normal for offspring to tend to clash with their parents especially mothers and daughters. They just need their own space, two women and only one kitchen is gonna cause arguments if one wants to dominate.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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Apartments without bathrooms/toilets are increasingly becoming normalized in NYC yet are still very expensive. Hope this trend doesn't spread to other cities.
return of the tenement slums.

This was normal in pre-war times apparently in many cities...you all shared an outhouse and bathrooms. Indoor plumbing and modern conveniences were not the norm.
 

Lanolin

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Has anyone read the Little House on the Parairie series by Laura Ingalls Wilder?
They shifted house about ten times. What isnt written in the book is her pa was running away from creditors.

Their first house was a log cabin, then a sod house built into the dirt, then a town house near a creek that got burned down, then they found out it was on Indian land and had to move, then one winter they lived in DE Smet and got snowed in and supplies could not be had because the railway was blocked. A hard life. But for many it was the dream of having your own land and homestead. But many could not make it pay. Hence later on dustbowl america...

Lauras Parents only finally got their own place and settled down for good when they were in their sixties. Her mother got a job arranging bank loans for farmers ...everyone was in debt, though in the beginning land was offered for free by the govt upon certain conditions. Of course you had to be white not Indian or Native american The US govt wanted to eradicate any Indian or Native american claim to the land by populating it with white ppl.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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I'm on vacation for a week and in less than 2 days of my absence from chat seoulsearch gets bored and starts making new threads.

Maybe I should go on vacation more often...
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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I'm on vacation for a week and in less than 2 days of my absence from chat seoulsearch gets bored and starts making new threads.

Maybe I should go on vacation more often...
I totally started making threads because you were gone and I knew I could get away with it. :cool:

Well, it was nice while it lasted. :D
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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Every time this topic comes up I am reminded of a show my grandmother used to watch, called the waltons. A big, multi-generational family living in one house. Mostly.

The concept of home ownership as a measure of success in life seems to be a concept that comes and goes with the decades. I remember Laura ingalls not being able to marry her man until he found a way to own a home. Contrast that with the waltons, and the different decades in which the two shows were set.

I also think about the Japanese and the prevalence of what is commonly called The Love hotel, a place where a couple can get away from their family for a little fun once in awhile. Multi-generational homes are so common that a couple just can't have any privacy sometimes.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,896
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I totally started making threads because you were gone and I knew I could get away with it. :cool:

Well, it was nice while it lasted. :D
Yeah right. Nobody was there play conversational ping pong so you had to come here to hash out your ideas instead. You can't fool me.
 

MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
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I don't like multigenerational homes unless there is a lot of space for privacy; it is better if there are two separate houses next to each other or across the street. I also think the owners of multigenerational homes (with lots of rooms) tend to be controlling, as they expect their offspring (and their wife and kids) to live in the house and not move out. This can create a lot of family issues, such as pressure on the adult child, and especially between spouse and in-laws.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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From all this talk about buying and selling houses, I get the impression it is best to:
Buy a house when the market is low.
Live in it for a few years
Sell it when the market is high.
Rent an apartment until the market drops again and you can buy one cheaply.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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You could put three houses in one lot and call it the family compound

Or 'we just own the entire street'


Also, if you happen to be priveliged and spoilt only daughter or firstborn you probably ALREADY own a house by the time you are five years old...a dollhouse.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
From all this talk about buying and selling houses, I get the impression it is best to:
Buy a house when the market is low.
Live in it for a few years
Sell it when the market is high.
Rent an apartment until the market drops again and you can buy one cheaply.
That's the general idea. Buy low in conjunction with low interest rates. We sold high, bought low, along with a low interest rates. Even a single point increase will result in paying thousands more for the life of the mortgage.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
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Tennessee
I'm on vacation for a week and in less than 2 days of my absence from chat seoulsearch gets bored and starts making new threads.

Maybe I should go on vacation more often...
@seoulsearch does start interesting, well-written, thought-provoking threads though. She is the gold standard for creating threads.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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@seoulsearch does start interesting, well-written, thought-provoking threads though. She is the gold standard for creating threads.
Thanks very much for the kind words, Tourist.

I don't know about the gold standard, but these days, I'd say, more of a tarnished copper penny. :D
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
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After playing Paul Bunyon all day....I'm exhausted.
The back and sides have been overrun by the Georgia jungle. So I've been hacking back at it all.

I got a gas weed whacker and put on a brush blade on it and got the undergrowth hacked back into submission....then got out the Sawzall with a brush blade and started chopping down trees....live and dead ones.

I've somewhat reclaimed a bunch of my lawn. But now I got a stack of brush and logs. I got more to do tomorrow....obviously. Got to get out the electric chainsaw and chop up them logs. And I got the rest of the fence line to clear out.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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I didnt know there were actually any houses in NYC. I thought it was all apartment blocks and skyscrapers. Sure people live there, but you cant call and apartment block a house.

Then again, people call the White House a house though it really looks nothing like a house. More of an overgrown mansion that serves just one family for three or more years. People who live there dont actually own it.
 

Sculpt

Well-known member
Apr 18, 2021
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Hey Everyone,

After talking with a Christian friend about two people we know who are feeling the double whammy of getting older (approaching 35/40,) and not yet owning a house, I was wondering by what age people are expected to accomplish this nowadays.

I realize this will vary widely depending on location, country, age, culture, and perhaps gender -- which is another reason why I'm interested in what others have to say about it. The two people who inspired this thread are male, so I'm wondering if there is more pressure on men to buy or own a home because they are seen as providers. The guys I've asked about this worry about being seen as losers (specifically to potential dates) if they don't have a house.

For my own self, I've always thought it really depends on the person's circumstance, especially in modern economic times. I live in the USA and am seen as part of the "Sandwich Generation" -- not only do many people my age have their own families to care for and kids to put through school, but at the same time, their aging parents are in the stages of needing part or full-time care, both physically and financially.

I personally couldn't expect a man to own his own home if, let's say for example, he's gone through an unwanted divorce, is paying for his children, and is also facing the responsibility of housing/caring for his parents on top of that. The most sensible thing would most likely be for shared living quarters (such as staying at home with them,) so to me, that's completely understandable. It makes me feel a little sad for men who feel this kind of pressure because everyone these days have so much on their plates.

I'm curious as to how the modern Christian community feels about this.

* By what age would you expect a grown adult to have bought or own a home by now?

* Parents -- by what age would you expect your child to live completely financially and spacially independently from you? Do you expect them to live in an apartment or house? Would you want them to have roommates, or be able to afford their own place?

* Do you think the expectations have anything to do with gender? Would you expect a man and a woman to have bought or own a home by the same benchmark age?

* Parents -- do you have different expectations for your sons and daughters? (i.e., Would you expect your son or daughter to buy or own a home by different ages according to gender?)

* Do you even think it's possible to own a home these days?


I'm really looking forward to a discussion about this -- and am even hoping that maybe some of the answers will help calm the anxiety of anyone who might be feeling this type of pressure, but have completely justified reasons for not yet owning a home.

God bless you and thanks for taking the time to answer! :)
I bought, paid off, and sold an inexpensive house in a baddish neighborhood when i was younger. I didn't make any money. But i spent less than if I had rented. Plus i'm sure it was very good for my credit rating.

I moved a bit and did some renting of a mobile home, and mostly houses. Roommates and none. I briefly stayed with my parents, help them out with some things, especially the house, and got to know them again, which was great. But I did feel a lot of pressure to get my own place due to dating. I was definitely discounted for it.

Which is best depends on a person's situation (as im sure has already been written in the thread)...

If you move around a lot, and you want to buy houses, you have to count in what you keep paying in closing costs, fees, which could eat up any equity you're gaining. Renting could be cheaper.

For most folks spending a good amount of time in one city, buying a house would probably cost less. But you have to take note of how much time is left on the roof, other major repairs.

And then depends on what you like regarding rental apts, condos, houses. You want an apt with a common pool or workout room. You want a yard?

I tend to like living in a house cause I dont want to worry about noisy neighbors, or how much sound I'm making. I don't mind yard work.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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I would not even care if someone I dated owned ten houses or none.

I think considering marriage is an entirely different thing, though where as a couple you would probably want to consider buying a new place TOGETHER, not one move into another ones home they already had. The place would also have to be somewhere you will both spend a considerable amount of time. Why bother buying a place or owning something you both did not want to live in.

many couples do actually live with their parents, I think as long as they respect each other and have own space it can work. I dont get the whole babyboomer thing where everyone has a brand new house because new houses and land is simply not available. You are most likely to end up living in someones old lived in place that they are selling off.

Then you have to adjust to the house, not the other way round, because the foundation has already been laid