Can men and women be friends..really friends?

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MandaL87

Guest
#121
#121
Depends on the circumstance. If they're exes, I have seen it work out and not work out...so I don't know. But if they're not exes, and have never dated, I think they can be. I have two very dear friends who are male and I went to school with them. Quite frankly I think I would have a hard time without them around!
 
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BurlyCarl

Guest
#122
#122
Fromdomlove said:
My opinion is not. At least..that's what my experience has taught me. I cant get along with a girl without thinking she might be my girlfriend and at the very moment we start thinking that way..the friendship is getting over. So..it is not more a common friendship..the simulation game start..trying not to talk about it..so...it not easy to have a friendship with a girl.

Now, my concern is: Being honest about this might be a big problem. But i really want to know your opinion.
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Simply in your particular situation the answer is "No you can not be friends" I know what you are getting at. I have been in this situation many times. I personally just ended a friendship a few years ago. The both of us could not agree on mutual feelings towards one another. It ended up in a highly emotionally charged disagreement between the both of us. You are right about the "friendship getting over". You are personally at the point where you want to move things beyond the friendship portion of the relationship with the person. If the person is engaged in these conversations and participating about these feelings between the both of you. You have her attention and she has yours. The obvious she is into you. Now for someone with undecided decisions is very frustrating with the going back and forth with the "well I don't know" and "ok lets do this". You really want someone who is confident and comfortable with their decisions. Not these said games you mentioned.

Being honest is the best thing you can do. It shows confidence and you know what you need in your life.

I personally can not be friends with a woman or a girl after I have caught interest in them. Its not the fact of personal self rejection or rejection from them. Or a bruised ego for that matter. Its a matter of.. I have to be their for them when things go south. I have to watch them go out. Knowing that should be me. I am stuck in friend zone. In the past I have been in the friend zone many times. Friend zoning puts you into this "nice guy but not good enough to date or have a relationship area". It is a place where I personally choose not to be. A lot of people will quote me on being selfish, ruining my own friendships or disqualifying myself for a potential date with this person when things go sideways in their life. The way I look at it. Why would you not put yourself out their to meet that one phenomenal person? Waiting is well... Waiting. Your letting opportunity pass you while you wait. Hoping that the person will come to their sense. That may never happen.

In closing. I simply choose no when it comes to being friends with women. It is a personal choice. You want someone who is decided and not on the fence. Be honest and know what you want. If their answer is no. Move on with no grudge. God will bring her to you. Keep moving.
 
Desdichado

Desdichado

Senior Member
#123
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
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#123
Earlier I would have said no, but there are colleagues very dear to me. I feel no romantic or sexual draw to them and they feel none of it toward me.

But I wouldn't want to think of life without them.
 
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rej

Guest
#124
#124
maybe yes...
I have one very close guy friend..we're care for each other,,,but were just friend..thts why our churchmates thinks that we are in relationship..he has girlfriend now,,,and our closeness is over,,
maybe we need to know our limitation in terms of having guy close friend..:0
 
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BurlyCarl

Guest
#125
#125
rej said:
maybe yes...
I have one very close guy friend..we're care for each other,,,but were just friend..thts why our churchmates thinks that we are in relationship..he has girlfriend now,,,and our closeness is over,,
maybe we need to know our limitation in terms of having guy close friend..:0
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Perfect example. The answer is NO!
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#126
Aug 12, 2011
10,418
2,660
113
#126
i have guy friends, but they are not super close to me. we've always kept a safe distance. from a long time ago, we "bro/sis in Christ" zoned. lol
 
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