Christian courtship - what does it entail??

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Jackieboy100

Guest
#21
#21

Hazelelponi said:
Yes, there can be awkward and uncomfortable topics but those - those are honestly the most important topics to bring up.

I found it's like ripping off a bandaid - just do it. Because those kinds of things are the most likely to affect your marriage if you don't. No secrets, no hidden parts of your past. You have to put everything on the table.

So, bandaid. Say it all

I think the main thing is knowing when the right time to talk about that kind of thing is. It's generally the most intimate part of who you are so not something you talk about on day 1, but likewise, if you wait too long you don't want to seem like you were intentionally keeping important things from the potential spouse.

So timing is the most difficult aspect. I would say when you really start seriously talking marriage, that's when, if not just a little before that. And yes... It's putting yourself out there but there's no alternative - it must be done.
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Your explanation here is not only plausible, but it is quite concise. This is very helpful and makes it a whole lot easier to navigate the dating scene, which is a minefield not only for people in general but for true Christians as well. Thank you again!
 
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Jackieboy100

Guest
#22
#22
Lanolin said:
I think most churches have premarital counselling you can both go to to go through stuff together, its like a list of what married life is going to be like. Probably for those whove never been married before and dont know what to expect (although you would think they would learn from their parents example) but then again not everyone actually has parents.
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They do! I do not trust them or their pastors because of past experiences I had with at least two of them. The pastors seemed to be trying to play match-making, while I was desperately trying to seek spiritual help.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#23
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#23
Jackieboy100 said:
They do! I do not trust them or their pastors because of past experiences I had with at least two of them. The pastors seemed to be trying to play match-making, while I was desperately trying to seek spiritual help.
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yea true and they probably want you to join their church and pay tithes.


Are you seeing someone right now. Just wondering why you thinking of this.
 
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Jackieboy100

Guest
#24
#24
Lanolin said:
yea true and they probably want you to join their church and pay tithes.


Are you seeing someone right now. Just wondering why you thinking of this.
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No I am not seeing anyone, although I meet men all the time (both on and off line). Just recently, I got a Facebook friend request and message from someone who is a friend of one of my friends on there. This kind of caught me off guard because I don't quite do social media. Perhaps the most interesting encounters, are the ones that have been happening at my job. One of them stands out most and I must tell you that I am smiling as I type out this narrative. At my current job, which I started just a few months ago, I work with a few young men and one of them I had to work close with initially. During the first few weeks this guy had on one of those 16mm wedding bands on his finger but by the second week that we were working together, he no longer had it on his finger. I kinda wondered what happened to his ring but did not think it's my place to probe, also, in case he uses it as a leverage to ask me personal questions as well. Then a few days later, I got an opportunity to minister the word of God to him and told him that I was saved. He seemed surprised but impressed as well and he politely mentioned that he is a church going Christian but not yet saved. He has since been moved to another section but we run into each other during most lunch break (wedding ring still not back on). Today he came into the canteen while I was there and he was handing out a bunch of "Jesus Loves You" card bookmarks with the verse of John 3:16 printed on the flip side. He gave me a few, for which I thanked him but did not engage him in any conversation (religious or otherwise). I am not attracted to any of them in my job and so I am very careful not to give any of them a false sense of hope by interacting closely.
With these occurences, I sort of just realise that if I should meet someone that I am attracted to and fits the bill of a potential love interest, I would struggle to engage them or interact with them as a Christian. So I am really just looking to educate myself about what are the "dos" and "don'ts" of intimate Christian relationships. It is also more of a follow up from another thread I posted at recently.
 
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Jackieboy100

Guest
#25
#25
TheNarrowPath said:
But with men and women there seems to be an urgency to join and is that a good thing?
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As far as I know, there's no hurry indicated. This was meant to engage and keep people talking, while also getting answers to some of my curiosities surrounding the conduct of Christians in a relationship.
 
TheNarrowPath

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
#27
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
548
113
#27
Jackieboy100 said:
As far as I know, there's no hurry indicated. This was meant to engage and keep people talking, while also getting answers to some of my curiosities surrounding the conduct of Christians in a relationship.
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I meant in general :)
 
posthuman

posthuman

Senior Member
#28
Jul 31, 2013
37,989
13,627
113
#28
i want to hold her hand
look in her eyes
sit on a bench and hear her thoughts about what passes by
 
L

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
#29
May 19, 2022
1,383
640
113
#29
posthuman said:
i want to hold her hand
look in her eyes
sit on a bench and hear her thoughts about what passes by
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As long as it's not a bus that passes by, and she tells me to get on it...alone.

lol.

Seriously though, that sounds good to me.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#34
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#34
Jackieboy100 said:
No I am not seeing anyone, although I meet men all the time (both on and off line). Just recently, I got a Facebook friend request and message from someone who is a friend of one of my friends on there. This kind of caught me off guard because I don't quite do social media. Perhaps the most interesting encounters, are the ones that have been happening at my job. One of them stands out most and I must tell you that I am smiling as I type out this narrative. At my current job, which I started just a few months ago, I work with a few young men and one of them I had to work close with initially. During the first few weeks this guy had on one of those 16mm wedding bands on his finger but by the second week that we were working together, he no longer had it on his finger. I kinda wondered what happened to his ring but did not think it's my place to probe, also, in case he uses it as a leverage to ask me personal questions as well. Then a few days later, I got an opportunity to minister the word of God to him and told him that I was saved. He seemed surprised but impressed as well and he politely mentioned that he is a church going Christian but not yet saved. He has since been moved to another section but we run into each other during most lunch break (wedding ring still not back on). Today he came into the canteen while I was there and he was handing out a bunch of "Jesus Loves You" card bookmarks with the verse of John 3:16 printed on the flip side. He gave me a few, for which I thanked him but did not engage him in any conversation (religious or otherwise). I am not attracted to any of them in my job and so I am very careful not to give any of them a false sense of hope by interacting closely.
With these occurences, I sort of just realise that if I should meet someone that I am attracted to and fits the bill of a potential love interest, I would struggle to engage them or interact with them as a Christian. So I am really just looking to educate myself about what are the "dos" and "don'ts" of intimate Christian relationships. It is also more of a follow up from another thread I posted at recently.
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ok

well I dont know I think if you were interested maybe there some event at church you can both go to and then get to know them there. Or a church camp or rally or conference or something.

and then maybe if you are involved in a ministry you can ask him to help you out with it or you help out with his. Like say helping out with the community meal or church picnic or whatever.

Although it seems a lot of churches seem to do the 'lets separate all the women from the men' thing. I dont know why they do this. They figure everyone is married and need a break from each other I supoose.
 
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