Crude Comments

[Angela53510]

You are not in any way to blame for what this boy said to you! You should not have to defend your clothing here, either!

I remember when i was 20, waiting for the light to change at an intersection. a man grabbed my bottom and leered at me. I was wearing a full length, very loose skirt, and a blouse that covered my arms and body.

I was not a Christian at the time, so perhaps my response wasn't the best. I screamed, "This man just grabbed me and I am married and pregnant!" (True story!) The leer left his face as several businessmen grabbed him and let me escape.

I still think I would call his bluff next time. Sadly, shaming works, but I think reporting him is your best option. Sexual harassment is wrong at any age! Don't be afraid to speak out!

 

[PoetMary]

Just me personally I find it ironic that you wear yoga pants that leave nothing to the imagination yet consider yourself to be a young lady that dresses modestly.

I find it ironic that her story of being sexually harassed would garner this comment. Why is it that when men use sexual comments as a means of shaming and intimidating women there's always an examination to discover if the woman is at fault somehow...if she "asked for it" or if she "deserved" it based on her appearance or behavior. Consider the following two scenarios:

1. *in biology class doing a lab*
Boy: Hey [insert my real name] no hate, but do you wear those SANDALS everyday?
Me: No, I have like five pairs of them, I really don't like ATHLETIC SHOES, they're uncomfortable
Boy: I don't like it when girls where SANDALS, then I can't see their TOES and PAINTED TOENAILS. So thanks for letting me see YOUR FEET
Me: umm.... That's creepy *retreats feeling very uncomfortable and hating high school*

If THIS was the story she told, would ANYONE IN HERE have DARED to question her about wearing open-toed shoes? Would she have been verbally spanked for tempting him by showing her toes? Or would they simply have realized that the young man was behaving like a pervy jerk and deliberately trying to embarrass her?

If this is not a good enough example, because it still involves a woman, let's try another where we change the gender:

2. *in the hallway inbetween classes*
Bully Boy: Hey [insert my real name] no hate, but do you bring your lunch to school everyday?
Boy: Yeah, my mom cooks a lot and it saves us money.
Bully Boy: Mmmm...I like home cooked food. You need to give me your lunch. *threatening glare and closed fist*
Me: Looking around...ashamed and embarrassed as he hands over his lunch.

Who on these boards would have DARED to write back to this young man and say things like, "Well, what were you doing in that hallway all alone? Why were you tempting people with your mother's home-baked goodies?


Just as a reminder: Women can't help it that they have feminine bodies. It doesn't matter what kind of top I wear, you're going to figure out that I have breasts. It doesn't matter what kind of pants I wear, you're going to figure out that my bottom is fleshier than a male bottom.

Personally, I find it ironic that people who claim to support the values of Christ would blame and shame the victim.

 

[Ugly]

I find it ironic that her story of being sexually harassed would garner this comment. Why is it that when men use sexual comments as a means of shaming and intimidating women there's always an examination to discover if the woman is at fault somehow...if she "asked for it" or if she "deserved" it based on her appearance or behavior. Consider the following two scenarios:

1. *in biology class doing a lab*
Boy: Hey [insert my real name] no hate, but do you wear those SANDALS everyday?
Me: No, I have like five pairs of them, I really don't like ATHLETIC SHOES, they're uncomfortable
Boy: I don't like it when girls where SANDALS, then I can't see their TOES and PAINTED TOENAILS. So thanks for letting me see YOUR FEET
Me: umm.... That's creepy *retreats feeling very uncomfortable and hating high school*

If THIS was the story she told, would ANYONE IN HERE have DARED to question her about wearing open-toed shoes? Would she have been verbally spanked for tempting him by showing her toes? Or would they simply have realized that the young man was behaving like a pervy jerk and deliberately trying to embarrass her?

If this is not a good enough example, because it still involves a woman, let's try another where we change the gender:

2. *in the hallway inbetween classes*
Bully Boy: Hey [insert my real name] no hate, but do you bring your lunch to school everyday?
Boy: Yeah, my mom cooks a lot and it saves us money.
Bully Boy: Mmmm...I like home cooked food. You need to give me your lunch. *threatening glare and closed fist*
Me: Looking around...ashamed and embarrassed as he hands over his lunch.

Who on these boards would have DARED to write back to this young man and say things like, "Well, what were you doing in that hallway all alone? Why were you tempting people with your mother's home-baked goodies?


Just as a reminder: Women can't help it that they have feminine bodies. It doesn't matter what kind of top I wear, you're going to figure out that I have breasts. It doesn't matter what kind of pants I wear, you're going to figure out that my bottom is fleshier than a male bottom.

Personally, I find it ironic that people who claim to support the values of Christ would blame and shame the victim.

Because you aren't comparing equal things. You're taking two very different topics and wanting them on equal footing and that's not realistic.

Also, no one is saying women 'deserve' to be harassed, but whether it's right or wrong, if a woman dresses a certain way she can expect certain treatment. And true about womens bodies, but if a woman makes a choice to enhance or display her body she's NOT off the hook. I find it ironic you are taking just as an extreme of a view as those you are criticizing for taking extreme views, just that yours goes in the opposite direction.

And you talking about using shame, when your own words 'who would have DARED'. Really you aren't acting any better than those you criticize, and your logic is no more sound than those you criticize.

Before you lump me, without knowing me, into the category of 'guys' and label all guys as behaving a certain way (yet another flaw in your argument) i do disagree with how she was treated. But again, no matter how wrong it is, it's to be expected if you display your body or enhance it. If you know the world functions this way and choose to dress in a certain manner regardless, you DO take Some of the blame. To think women have zero responsibility is merely justifying sin.

The reality is both genders have their own sets of responsibilities in the matter. Women to not put their bodies on display, and men to control their thoughts and mouths. Neither gender is off the hook. The reason these things never resolve is people take sides and point blame at the other side instead of being grown ups and sharing the responsibility.

 

[VioletReigns]

I find it ironic that her story of being sexually harassed would garner this comment. Why is it that when men use sexual comments as a means of shaming and intimidating women there's always an examination to discover if the woman is at fault somehow...if she "asked for it" or if she "deserved" it based on her appearance or behavior. Consider the following two scenarios:

1. *in biology class doing a lab*
Boy: Hey [insert my real name] no hate, but do you wear those SANDALS everyday?
Me: No, I have like five pairs of them, I really don't like ATHLETIC SHOES, they're uncomfortable
Boy: I don't like it when girls where SANDALS, then I can't see their TOES and PAINTED TOENAILS. So thanks for letting me see YOUR FEET
Me: umm.... That's creepy *retreats feeling very uncomfortable and hating high school*

If THIS was the story she told, would ANYONE IN HERE have DARED to question her about wearing open-toed shoes? Would she have been verbally spanked for tempting him by showing her toes? Or would they simply have realized that the young man was behaving like a pervy jerk and deliberately trying to embarrass her?

If this is not a good enough example, because it still involves a woman, let's try another where we change the gender:

2. *in the hallway inbetween classes*
Bully Boy: Hey [insert my real name] no hate, but do you bring your lunch to school everyday?
Boy: Yeah, my mom cooks a lot and it saves us money.
Bully Boy: Mmmm...I like home cooked food. You need to give me your lunch. *threatening glare and closed fist*
Me: Looking around...ashamed and embarrassed as he hands over his lunch.

Who on these boards would have DARED to write back to this young man and say things like, "Well, what were you doing in that hallway all alone? Why were you tempting people with your mother's home-baked goodies?


Just as a reminder: Women can't help it that they have feminine bodies. It doesn't matter what kind of top I wear, you're going to figure out that I have breasts. It doesn't matter what kind of pants I wear, you're going to figure out that my bottom is fleshier than a male bottom.

Personally, I find it ironic that people who claim to support the values of Christ would blame and shame the victim.

Excellent post, Sister Mary!

 

[VioletReigns]

I know that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I would not dress provocatively and then expect men not to gawk or make lewd comments. Nevertheless, everyone has his or her own dress style and standard of modesty. It is exactly how Sister Angela and Sister PoetMary have stated: Many times it does not matter what you wear, there’s still the chance you will be sexually harassed or assaulted.

As for comparing apples with oranges, on the contrary; PoetMary has made a perfect point referencing comparable situations. Harassment is harassment.

 

[AuphirahQueen]

I was shocked by the response from adults in this room because some of responses were blaming the young lady. Remember we were all young once long time ago and we did not dress that appropriately ourselves. The pants from Target is not disrespectful, but some of responses were very disrespectful. We wonder why, young adults are not attending a church to worship because of self righteous and judgmental attitudes of old adults. That means if a street walker came to the church with her street walker clothing then folks will be judging her and she is laying at the altar crying out to GOD.

Hebrews 13 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

Final Exhortations

13 Let brotherly love continue. 2 Don’t neglect to show hospitality, for by doing this some have welcomed angels as guests without knowing it.

 

[VioletReigns]

I was shocked by the response from adults in this room because some of responses were blaming the young lady. Remember we were all young once long time ago and we did not dress that appropriately ourselves. The pants from Target is not disrespectful, but some of responses were very disrespectful. We wonder why, young adults are not attending a church to worship because of self righteous and judgmental attitudes of old adults. That means if a street walker came to the church with her street walker clothing then folks will be judging her and she is laying at the altar crying out to GOD.

Hebrews 13 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

Final Exhortations

13 Let brotherly love continue. 2 Don’t neglect to show hospitality, for by doing this some have welcomed angels as guests without knowing it.

AMEN, SISTER AuphirahQueen!!!

2 Corinthians 5:16 Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

 

[Tintin]

Because you aren't comparing equal things. You're taking two very different topics and wanting them on equal footing and that's not realistic.

Also, no one is saying women 'deserve' to be harassed, but whether it's right or wrong, if a woman dresses a certain way she can expect certain treatment. And true about womens bodies, but if a woman makes a choice to enhance or display her body she's NOT off the hook. I find it ironic you are taking just as an extreme of a view as those you are criticizing for taking extreme views, just that yours goes in the opposite direction.

And you talking about using shame, when your own words 'who would have DARED'. Really you aren't acting any better than those you criticize, and your logic is no more sound than those you criticize.

Before you lump me, without knowing me, into the category of 'guys' and label all guys as behaving a certain way (yet another flaw in your argument) i do disagree with how she was treated. But again, no matter how wrong it is, it's to be expected if you display your body or enhance it. If you know the world functions this way and choose to dress in a certain manner regardless, you DO take Some of the blame. To think women have zero responsibility is merely justifying sin.

The reality is both genders have their own sets of responsibilities in the matter. Women to not put their bodies on display, and men to control their thoughts and mouths. Neither gender is off the hook. The reason these things never resolve is people take sides and point blame at the other side instead of being grown ups and sharing the responsibility.

This. Amen, amen!

 

[Tintin]

I find it ironic that her story of being sexually harassed would garner this comment. Why is it that when men use sexual comments as a means of shaming and intimidating women there's always an examination to discover if the woman is at fault somehow...if she "asked for it" or if she "deserved" it based on her appearance or behavior. Consider the following two scenarios:

1. *in biology class doing a lab*
Boy: Hey [insert my real name] no hate, but do you wear those SANDALS everyday?
Me: No, I have like five pairs of them, I really don't like ATHLETIC SHOES, they're uncomfortable
Boy: I don't like it when girls where SANDALS, then I can't see their TOES and PAINTED TOENAILS. So thanks for letting me see YOUR FEET
Me: umm.... That's creepy *retreats feeling very uncomfortable and hating high school*

If THIS was the story she told, would ANYONE IN HERE have DARED to question her about wearing open-toed shoes? Would she have been verbally spanked for tempting him by showing her toes? Or would they simply have realized that the young man was behaving like a pervy jerk and deliberately trying to embarrass her?

If this is not a good enough example, because it still involves a woman, let's try another where we change the gender:

2. *in the hallway inbetween classes*
Bully Boy: Hey [insert my real name] no hate, but do you bring your lunch to school everyday?
Boy: Yeah, my mom cooks a lot and it saves us money.
Bully Boy: Mmmm...I like home cooked food. You need to give me your lunch. *threatening glare and closed fist*
Me: Looking around...ashamed and embarrassed as he hands over his lunch.

Who on these boards would have DARED to write back to this young man and say things like, "Well, what were you doing in that hallway all alone? Why were you tempting people with your mother's home-baked goodies?


Just as a reminder: Women can't help it that they have feminine bodies. It doesn't matter what kind of top I wear, you're going to figure out that I have breasts. It doesn't matter what kind of pants I wear, you're going to figure out that my bottom is fleshier than a male bottom.

Personally, I find it ironic that people who claim to support the values of Christ would blame and shame the victim.

An excellent point, my sister. Still, if you knew Once and his character, you would know he's not out to point the finger.