Dark Attractions
- Thread starter SirSolaScriptura
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I'm certainly no expert, but I chalk it up to having been up close and personal with written communication from the time I could fully write letters.
When the internet came along, I paid close attention to how people "sounded." It was intriguing because sometimes they sounded "different" while supposedly writing under the same name (I was also in a ministry writing to prison inmates, so it taught me a lot about the different "faces" people can show in writing.)
Over the years, I think readers pick up on subtle differences. There have been countless times I've followed people here on this site with a hunch that something wasn't right... and then it would come out that someone else was also using the account, or it WAS actually one person but, sounded completely different when either under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol while posting, or weren't taking the medication they were actually supposed to be taking.
I'll never forget the guy who used to write super-spiritual sounding posts, and then one day, out of the blue, he wrote, "I don't need Jesus because I have kung-fu." Turns out, he also had a problem with alcohol, and liked to unwind by drinking and posting.
It's important to me to try to understand the people I follow here so I have a better idea of how to reply and how to pray for them, so I'm probably a little OCD about trying to discern the different written "voices."
However, I'm certainly not infallible and there are many (MANY) times I completely miss the mark or come to the wrong conclusion, so I appreciate it when people tell me what's actually going on.
When the internet came along, I paid close attention to how people "sounded." It was intriguing because sometimes they sounded "different" while supposedly writing under the same name (I was also in a ministry writing to prison inmates, so it taught me a lot about the different "faces" people can show in writing.)
Over the years, I think readers pick up on subtle differences. There have been countless times I've followed people here on this site with a hunch that something wasn't right... and then it would come out that someone else was also using the account, or it WAS actually one person but, sounded completely different when either under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol while posting, or weren't taking the medication they were actually supposed to be taking.
I'll never forget the guy who used to write super-spiritual sounding posts, and then one day, out of the blue, he wrote, "I don't need Jesus because I have kung-fu." Turns out, he also had a problem with alcohol, and liked to unwind by drinking and posting.
It's important to me to try to understand the people I follow here so I have a better idea of how to reply and how to pray for them, so I'm probably a little OCD about trying to discern the different written "voices."
However, I'm certainly not infallible and there are many (MANY) times I completely miss the mark or come to the wrong conclusion, so I appreciate it when people tell me what's actually going on.
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The close of the letter to noidal was signed "Branch," yes. Did no one see her coming? 
She'd be torn 'limb from limb' in the bdf.
...
It should be specified that you don't mean fun like chasing people with poop on a stick.
She'd be torn 'limb from limb' in the bdf.
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It should be specified that you don't mean fun like chasing people with poop on a stick.
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I was going to cordially invite her to the Bible Discussion Forum -- that seems much more on her spiritual league, not us lowly, bottom-of-the-barrel, Singles Forum types.
What?! You've never threatened to poke anyone with poop on a stick?! It's so fun.
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@Subhumanoidal,
Having watched multiple people who know nothing about you give you grief over your current username, I would like to help.
If you are wanting to change your name, I'll pay the whatever it is fee to get your regular privileges reinstated. I don't know who you would have to talk to -- Oncefallen or Robo?
But if you want to change your name, let me know and either send me a PM under your current name or leave me a message on my profile wall. Let me know who you talked to and I'll make sure they get the payment for whatever fee is involved.
I can only handle so much ridiculousness before I feel a need to step in, so please forgive me.
And for those who are going to judge ME, no, this isn't trying to somehow show off or proclaim my own good works, because I know SOMEONE out there is going to quote the passage about not letting your left hand know what the right is doing.
The reason I'm posting this publicly and not in PM is because it's a challenge to the audience.
For anyone who doesn't like someone else's username and that user has an explanation for it, but actually wants to change their name, I challenge you to go to that person, let them change their name on the site, and pay for their way if they're losing any benefits like PM's, etc.
And if you don't know how to pay for them, just leave a message on the profile wall of Oncefallen or RoboOp, and I'm sure either one will assist you.
Don't like someone else's username? Offer to help them change it.
Problem solved.
@Subhumanoidal -- if you DON'T want to change your name, by all means, DON'T. I am NOT encouraging giving in to peer pressure at all. However, if you change it to your old name, I know even MORE people will give you grief about THAT ONE (as they did in the past) -- and in that case, I may just have to strangle you.
Just kidding!!!
But seriously.
Let me know if you DO want to change it.
Jiminy Crickets.
I apologize to the Original Poster for all this derailing, but I don't take the slander of a long-time, trusted member by someone brand-new with no interest about the person lightly.
Having watched multiple people who know nothing about you give you grief over your current username, I would like to help.
If you are wanting to change your name, I'll pay the whatever it is fee to get your regular privileges reinstated. I don't know who you would have to talk to -- Oncefallen or Robo?
But if you want to change your name, let me know and either send me a PM under your current name or leave me a message on my profile wall. Let me know who you talked to and I'll make sure they get the payment for whatever fee is involved.
I can only handle so much ridiculousness before I feel a need to step in, so please forgive me.
And for those who are going to judge ME, no, this isn't trying to somehow show off or proclaim my own good works, because I know SOMEONE out there is going to quote the passage about not letting your left hand know what the right is doing.
The reason I'm posting this publicly and not in PM is because it's a challenge to the audience.
For anyone who doesn't like someone else's username and that user has an explanation for it, but actually wants to change their name, I challenge you to go to that person, let them change their name on the site, and pay for their way if they're losing any benefits like PM's, etc.
And if you don't know how to pay for them, just leave a message on the profile wall of Oncefallen or RoboOp, and I'm sure either one will assist you.
Don't like someone else's username? Offer to help them change it.
Problem solved.
@Subhumanoidal -- if you DON'T want to change your name, by all means, DON'T. I am NOT encouraging giving in to peer pressure at all. However, if you change it to your old name, I know even MORE people will give you grief about THAT ONE (as they did in the past) -- and in that case, I may just have to strangle you.
Just kidding!!!
But seriously.
Let me know if you DO want to change it.
Jiminy Crickets.
I apologize to the Original Poster for all this derailing, but I don't take the slander of a long-time, trusted member by someone brand-new with no interest about the person lightly.
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I seems very clear to me what is happening, and that is why I was kinda horrified when you allowed her to post on your account. You deserve your own voice and your own identity, but at this point regaining them will take some time and effort. 😕
Wrapping your hair, not dating, and only watching TV on Saturdays are NOT fruits of the Spirit and not standards by which we should determine a shepherd who has truly been called by God.
Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, and Self-Control ARE. Your Mom is yet to display any of those here in a discernable way. YOU, however, have. I would take a rebuke from you over one from your mother any day of the week. Please learn to spiritually separate yourself from her, your own walk and calling may depend on it. ☹
I don't always agree with you Miss Daisy, but I always read what you have to say. I've also seen you pray for and encourage others here. I know you have your mother on a pedestal, but in reality she could learn a lot from you if she is ever humble enough to accept it. 💜🌸
Wrapping your hair, not dating, and only watching TV on Saturdays are NOT fruits of the Spirit and not standards by which we should determine a shepherd who has truly been called by God.
Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, and Self-Control ARE. Your Mom is yet to display any of those here in a discernable way. YOU, however, have. I would take a rebuke from you over one from your mother any day of the week. Please learn to spiritually separate yourself from her, your own walk and calling may depend on it. ☹
I don't always agree with you Miss Daisy, but I always read what you have to say. I've also seen you pray for and encourage others here. I know you have your mother on a pedestal, but in reality she could learn a lot from you if she is ever humble enough to accept it. 💜🌸
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Speaking of dark attractions : what does it mean when , the people that u r closest to , take great delight in trying to hurt your feelings ?
I'm starting to think that there's something about me that really rubs people up the wrong way . I lead a quiet sheltered life , lost almost all my girlfriends when I became a Christian and didn't find anyone to replace them , I'm ok with that , God , Jesus and my hubby r more than enough for me . I managed to hang on to my very best friend who I've known since we were babies , her mum and my grandma were neighbours and best friends . In many ways we r exactly the same , we hold a lot of the same opinions and values but she's not a Christian . It's in our personalities , the way we express ourselves , that we every different . She is very direct , almost aggressive and quite confrontational but , I know that this is a façade , an act to make people think that she's strong and I know that she's a very fearful person . Me , I hate confrontation and I'm content , most of the time , to let others have their way and I just tag along unless it's something I feel very strongly about . All my friend ever wanted was to find a man with enough money to keep her so she could b a house wife . She got that about 6 months b 4 I met my hubby , about 25 years ago . She's always been a bit materialistic and I'm the opposite . Since she got married aaaaaall she ever talks about is money , how much she has , what she's bought , what they r doing to the house etc . It's become a bit of a bore to b honest and I'm sure she's often aiming digs at me and my hubby for not having what she has . This makes me sad because I genuinely love her and I'm glad that she got what she wanted . I'm very happy with my life , my hubby and our small but perfect little apartment , her hubby has to work away a lot and mine works from home which I like . My greatest happiness is that I know the Truth , so I am free from a lot of the chains that wrap non Christians up . My friend digs at my hubby , our home , how much time we spend together , we don't have foreign holidays but she does etc , all very subtle but very real .
Then there's my mother in law . On the surface a very nice woman . However I've never met anyone with the passive agressive skills that she has . I think I've been a good daughter in law , so does my hubby and he would definitely say if he thought otherwise . So , if someone who u liked and respected asked u not to do something , would u do it ? That's exactly what she does , time and time and time again . So , she can't possibly like or respect me can she ?
Then there's my psychopath mother ( no I'm not kidding , she's a diagnosed psychopath ) she knows that I collect old drinking glasses , I don't pay much for them and usually get them from charity shops for pennies . She has some Waterford crystal glasses , I don't actually like or want them but , she doesn't know this . I hadn't seen my mum for a week because I have workmen in my flat doing a lot of major repairs . I went over today , she was expecting me and knew what time I would b there . As I walked in her house and straight into the kitchen where she sits , her carer was at the kitchen table and was wrapping up the last of the Waterford crystal glasses , I knew what was going on so didn't bat an eyelid . Mel ( her carer ) put them carefully in her bag as I made a point of completely ignoring what was going on and chattering my hello's etc . My mams eyes never left my face , looking for a reaction from me . As I know my mam , I know that she made sure i saw that she has given her carer the Waterford glasses , thinking that it would hurt my feelings that she'd done that . I couldn't care less about the glasses but I am wounded ( once again ) by my mams desire to hurt my feelings . These 3 people , after my hubby , r the closest to me and they r literally , constantly , doing things that they think will hurt or upset me and I'm bewildered by it . They don't know me well at all because if they did they wouldn't bother trying , God is my strength and my shield . He tells me : let them be . So I do and their shenanigans never hurt me but , they do bewilder me . I spend a lot of time bewildered 🥴 . These things have been going on for decades . Why do I put up with it ? Today is one of the days when I really do wonder , why ? Any clues anyone ? Cos I haven't got one 😬 .
I'm starting to think that there's something about me that really rubs people up the wrong way . I lead a quiet sheltered life , lost almost all my girlfriends when I became a Christian and didn't find anyone to replace them , I'm ok with that , God , Jesus and my hubby r more than enough for me . I managed to hang on to my very best friend who I've known since we were babies , her mum and my grandma were neighbours and best friends . In many ways we r exactly the same , we hold a lot of the same opinions and values but she's not a Christian . It's in our personalities , the way we express ourselves , that we every different . She is very direct , almost aggressive and quite confrontational but , I know that this is a façade , an act to make people think that she's strong and I know that she's a very fearful person . Me , I hate confrontation and I'm content , most of the time , to let others have their way and I just tag along unless it's something I feel very strongly about . All my friend ever wanted was to find a man with enough money to keep her so she could b a house wife . She got that about 6 months b 4 I met my hubby , about 25 years ago . She's always been a bit materialistic and I'm the opposite . Since she got married aaaaaall she ever talks about is money , how much she has , what she's bought , what they r doing to the house etc . It's become a bit of a bore to b honest and I'm sure she's often aiming digs at me and my hubby for not having what she has . This makes me sad because I genuinely love her and I'm glad that she got what she wanted . I'm very happy with my life , my hubby and our small but perfect little apartment , her hubby has to work away a lot and mine works from home which I like . My greatest happiness is that I know the Truth , so I am free from a lot of the chains that wrap non Christians up . My friend digs at my hubby , our home , how much time we spend together , we don't have foreign holidays but she does etc , all very subtle but very real .
Then there's my mother in law . On the surface a very nice woman . However I've never met anyone with the passive agressive skills that she has . I think I've been a good daughter in law , so does my hubby and he would definitely say if he thought otherwise . So , if someone who u liked and respected asked u not to do something , would u do it ? That's exactly what she does , time and time and time again . So , she can't possibly like or respect me can she ?
Then there's my psychopath mother ( no I'm not kidding , she's a diagnosed psychopath ) she knows that I collect old drinking glasses , I don't pay much for them and usually get them from charity shops for pennies . She has some Waterford crystal glasses , I don't actually like or want them but , she doesn't know this . I hadn't seen my mum for a week because I have workmen in my flat doing a lot of major repairs . I went over today , she was expecting me and knew what time I would b there . As I walked in her house and straight into the kitchen where she sits , her carer was at the kitchen table and was wrapping up the last of the Waterford crystal glasses , I knew what was going on so didn't bat an eyelid . Mel ( her carer ) put them carefully in her bag as I made a point of completely ignoring what was going on and chattering my hello's etc . My mams eyes never left my face , looking for a reaction from me . As I know my mam , I know that she made sure i saw that she has given her carer the Waterford glasses , thinking that it would hurt my feelings that she'd done that . I couldn't care less about the glasses but I am wounded ( once again ) by my mams desire to hurt my feelings . These 3 people , after my hubby , r the closest to me and they r literally , constantly , doing things that they think will hurt or upset me and I'm bewildered by it . They don't know me well at all because if they did they wouldn't bother trying , God is my strength and my shield . He tells me : let them be . So I do and their shenanigans never hurt me but , they do bewilder me . I spend a lot of time bewildered 🥴 . These things have been going on for decades . Why do I put up with it ? Today is one of the days when I really do wonder , why ? Any clues anyone ? Cos I haven't got one 😬 .
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Well on the bright side, @SirSolaScriptura is getting a great real-time illustration of why a sinner would be more comfortable talking about spiritual things to him rather than a random "righteous" church person! 😉
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That's very kind of you, but we are all gifted differently and we certainly don't need 2 Snackers kicking around this pea patch! 😆.
I admire your ability to say so much yet remain interesting and relevant, that is not a gift I have but it's a powerful one!
Also, you are much more insightful than you give yourself credit for, it's just harder to see when you're on the inside looking out. 😉
I admire your ability to say so much yet remain interesting and relevant, that is not a gift I have but it's a powerful one!
Also, you are much more insightful than you give yourself credit for, it's just harder to see when you're on the inside looking out. 😉
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@Subhumanoidal,
Having watched multiple people who know nothing about you give you grief over your current username, I would like to help.
If you are wanting to change your name, I'll pay the whatever it is fee to get your regular privileges reinstated. I don't know who you would have to talk to -- Oncefallen or Robo?
But if you want to change your name, let me know and either send me a PM under your current name or leave me a message on my profile wall. Let me know who you talked to and I'll make sure they get the payment for whatever fee is involved.
I can only handle so much ridiculousness before I feel a need to step in, so please forgive me.
And for those who are going to judge ME, no, this isn't trying to somehow show off or proclaim my own good works, because I know SOMEONE out there is going to quote the passage about not letting your left hand know what the right is doing.
The reason I'm posting this publicly and not in PM is because it's a challenge to the audience.
For anyone who doesn't like someone else's username and that user has an explanation for it, but actually wants to change their name, I challenge you to go to that person, let them change their name on the site, and pay for their way if they're losing any benefits like PM's, etc.
And if you don't know how to pay for them, just leave a message on the profile wall of Oncefallen or RoboOp, and I'm sure either one will assist you.
Don't like someone else's username? Offer to help them change it.
Problem solved.
@Subhumanoidal -- if you DON'T want to change your name, by all means, DON'T. I am NOT encouraging giving in to peer pressure at all. However, if you change it to your old name, I know even MORE people will give you grief about THAT ONE (as they did in the past) -- and in that case, I may just have to strangle you.
Just kidding!!!
But seriously.
Let me know if you DO want to change it.
Jiminy Crickets.
I apologize to the Original Poster for all this derailing, but I don't take the slander of a long-time, trusted member by someone brand-new with no interest about the person lightly.
Having watched multiple people who know nothing about you give you grief over your current username, I would like to help.
If you are wanting to change your name, I'll pay the whatever it is fee to get your regular privileges reinstated. I don't know who you would have to talk to -- Oncefallen or Robo?
But if you want to change your name, let me know and either send me a PM under your current name or leave me a message on my profile wall. Let me know who you talked to and I'll make sure they get the payment for whatever fee is involved.
I can only handle so much ridiculousness before I feel a need to step in, so please forgive me.
And for those who are going to judge ME, no, this isn't trying to somehow show off or proclaim my own good works, because I know SOMEONE out there is going to quote the passage about not letting your left hand know what the right is doing.
The reason I'm posting this publicly and not in PM is because it's a challenge to the audience.
For anyone who doesn't like someone else's username and that user has an explanation for it, but actually wants to change their name, I challenge you to go to that person, let them change their name on the site, and pay for their way if they're losing any benefits like PM's, etc.
And if you don't know how to pay for them, just leave a message on the profile wall of Oncefallen or RoboOp, and I'm sure either one will assist you.
Don't like someone else's username? Offer to help them change it.
Problem solved.
@Subhumanoidal -- if you DON'T want to change your name, by all means, DON'T. I am NOT encouraging giving in to peer pressure at all. However, if you change it to your old name, I know even MORE people will give you grief about THAT ONE (as they did in the past) -- and in that case, I may just have to strangle you.
Just kidding!!!
But seriously.
Let me know if you DO want to change it.
Jiminy Crickets.
I apologize to the Original Poster for all this derailing, but I don't take the slander of a long-time, trusted member by someone brand-new with no interest about the person lightly.
Why not be part of the solution, instead of just more white noise echoing off into the void?
I would like to invite you to be part of a practical answer to what you see as being such an egregious problem -- @Subhumanoidal's username. And this is an open invitation to anyone else who doesn't like his username, either.
I challenge you to help him change it, but only if he chooses to himself.
I believe the subscription rate to be able to do things like Private Message is $25, but I'll find out for sure.
@Branch and anyone else who doesn't like Sub's name -- how much would you like to contribute to that?
And no, I'm not backing out of my previous commitment. If you, @Branch, and others chip in for his fee, I'll pay $25 to the site as a separate contribution.
Why not be part of helping to care for someone, rather than criticize?
And if you don't know how to make your contribution to the site, leave a message on Oncefallen's, RoboOp's profile wall -- or on my profile wall, or here in this thread -- and I'm sure we can figure something out.
Now, if Sub DOESN'T want to change his name -- no problem. No harm, no foul, nothing needs to be done.
But if he DOES want to change his name -- wouldn't you like to be an active part of a positive contribution to see something you find so offensive changed? Who wouldn't want that, especially someone who is a solid Christian?
Again, if Sub DOESN'T want to change his name -- and I'm certainly not pressuring him to do so -- no worries.
But if he does, I'll write a post asking how much you want to contribute to it.
And if I don't hear from you or anyone else who's ridiculed his name, as I've seen this time and time again, I'll pay for it on my own as I originally said. If others contribute, God convicts me to keep my word to the best of my ability, so I'll just pay $25 to the site separately.
In the meantime, you'll probably want to check out the Bible Discussion Forum -- that would be much more up to your speed, as they make posts in the same style you're posting all the time.
The Bible Discussion Forum is like the actual church service -- lots of learning, philosophy, and Bible scholarship there, which is where "advanced Christians" go for more "in-depth" spiritual discussions. I generally just go there to read and follow a few favorite posters without saying anything myself.
The Singles Forum is more like the Coffee And Donut Hour/Church Potluck after the service. We try to keep things lighter and more relaxed here (though serious topics are discussed and are welcome.)
However, as you can see, the regulars who have been here 10+ years try very hard to keep the kinds of posts you're bringing here to a minimum, because we believe all Christians need a place to hang out and just talk about our daily Christian lives WITHOUT the spiritual analysis of strangers.
I do too , I'm not easily hurt but , it's the fact that they seem to deliberately want to hurt me that bugs me , especially as I do go out of my way for all 3 of them and , they r very close to me . I know for sure that many people in my shoes just wouldn't have anything to do with them but how can I do that when one is my mum , the other my mum in law and the other my best friend of over 55 years ? My mum and my friend r both very vulnerable people and I feel that one day they r going to need me as neither of them have anyone else close to them that genuinely cares for them except for me . It's hard for me to not believe that I am somehow doing something very wrong to these people that they should feel the need to b horrible to me on such a regular basis . Maybe it's because they r not Christians ? 🤷 .
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Well let's see, you said mom was a diagnosed psychopath so normal rules don't apply. She'll try to hurt you for her own entertainment, that's what psychopaths do because it entertains them and they feel like it. It may be honorable to be willing to still be there for the day she has no one, but don't expect her to say thank you for it.
Your mom-in-law, it's quite possible she doesn't like or respect you; it's quite possible she doesn't like or respect anyone and / or is too selfish to let anyone influence her doing just like she wants. Not knowing if the things you ask her to stop doing are habit like things that she is barely aware of doing, very deliberate provocations, or just a stubborn this is how I've always done it and I"m not going to change for you. So you may be stuck with the frustrations that are the source of all the in law jokes of stand up comedians, but it's a reflection of the person she is not a reflection on the person you are. Of course you could try reverse psychology and ask her to do more of the stuff you find annoying and to stop doing stuff that you want her to continue doing.
As to your friend, well as I've heard @Lynx say before: for some people money is how they tell if they're winning at life or not. And she probably wants you to acknowledge she's winning more than you and show some envy of her wonderful life that may not be all that wonderful. People who are busy enjoying their lives, don't feel the need to keep telling you about how wonderful their lives are. Only people who are discontent and disappointed with their lives do that. Nothing more annoying than a person you think is less than you going around acting like they're equal to or better than you.
Your mom-in-law, it's quite possible she doesn't like or respect you; it's quite possible she doesn't like or respect anyone and / or is too selfish to let anyone influence her doing just like she wants. Not knowing if the things you ask her to stop doing are habit like things that she is barely aware of doing, very deliberate provocations, or just a stubborn this is how I've always done it and I"m not going to change for you. So you may be stuck with the frustrations that are the source of all the in law jokes of stand up comedians, but it's a reflection of the person she is not a reflection on the person you are. Of course you could try reverse psychology and ask her to do more of the stuff you find annoying and to stop doing stuff that you want her to continue doing.
As to your friend, well as I've heard @Lynx say before: for some people money is how they tell if they're winning at life or not. And she probably wants you to acknowledge she's winning more than you and show some envy of her wonderful life that may not be all that wonderful. People who are busy enjoying their lives, don't feel the need to keep telling you about how wonderful their lives are. Only people who are discontent and disappointed with their lives do that. Nothing more annoying than a person you think is less than you going around acting like they're equal to or better than you.
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