We’ve all encountered talkers of every stripe and others whose actions and investment demonstrate their commitment and seriousness. And in this medium, you have no ability to substantiate their claims without time and discernment. Anyone can say they’re a believer. Character becomes the litmus through which you gauge their faith.
The bigger problem is the absence of the appropriate scrutiny in the discussion. You must consider his suitability as a companion and if he’s addressing the qualities you need in a healthy relationship. When there’s too much intimacy we’re moving from discernment and allowing our emotions to take the reins.
You have to do your homework beforehand to understand the climate you’re dealing with and the challenges Christian men are facing. What is the consensus? What are single men emphasizing? What is their struggle? You learn to speak their language to address the nitty gritty truths which go unuttered.
When you lead with those subjects you gain greater insight into him and will elicit a better response. If he senses you get him and your demeanor isn’t abrasive he’ll open up. You can’t go under the hood without understanding what you’re looking for.
Many men are lonely. Misunderstood. And yearning for someone who believes in them. They feel unwanted. Unneeded. And invisible.
That’s an easy fix.
But the caveat is recognizing the pearl (you) comes in many guises. You have to understand your nature to recognize those who’d value you because they’re looking for the same and so are you. If you know the problem you can understand the remedy needed and your suitability for the job.
You won’t fit every man and nor will he. You’ll both resonate with certain types and less so with others. And that’s the patch you pick from. You won’t value the jewel if you don’t recognize its luster and know its identity. Otherwise it’s just a funny rock.
That works for me. But it isn’t the only way.