Dealing with tiredness

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kayem77

Guest
#1
#1
I don't know how many of you here have heard about my family, I don't remember how detailed I have been. I have shared before that I come from a catholic mexican family, and that until recently (3 months now) I started attending a christian church here in California. Okay the reason why I'm writing this is because lately it's like I'm on a rollercoaster of emotions...I don't even know how to explain but I'll try, and this will help me vent out a little :) .

I've been trying to be an example of how a christian is for my family, I've been trying to be the salt of the world as Jesus said , and I guess I am sometimes....but sometimes I feel like I'm not doing anything at all :/ I feel like I'm trying to do everything by myself and at the same time, I'm not doing enough. How do you deal with a mother who has mental issues without losing your patience? One day she says she is close to God while other days she hates herself and talks about death. How do you deal with a family damaged by years of fighting between themselves? What am I supposed to do here? How do you deal with yourself when you can't see ''the big picture''?

I guess I already know the answer to those questions, I know the Lord doesn't expect me to fix my family and I know he is not supposed to fix every little problem I have when I want to. However, I often wonder how involved I should be,and especially with my mom, I sometimes wonder if instead of drawing her near to God I'm only pushing her away... but I don't want to make this only about my mom because it's not. To be honest there are so many other things in my life that I sometimes wonder if I'm not just plain weird, but that's another topic haha. What I'm asking is...how do you know when you are taking too much? how do you know if you are approaching something by the wrong angle?

You don't actually need to answer all my questions don't worry :) any thoughts, opinions, bible verses, jokes or pictures of puppies are appreciated (yeah I just like puppies). Anyway, I just needed to get this off my chest...
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#2
#2
kayem77 said:
I don't know how many of you here have heard about my family, I don't remember how detailed I have been. I have shared before that I come from a catholic mexican family, and that until recently (3 months now) I started attending a christian church here in California. Okay the reason why I'm writing this is because lately it's like I'm on a rollercoaster of emotions...I don't even know how to explain but I'll try, and this will help me vent out a little :) .

I've been trying to be an example of how a christian is for my family, I've been trying to be the salt of the world as Jesus said , and I guess I am sometimes....but sometimes I feel like I'm not doing anything at all :/ I feel like I'm trying to do everything by myself and at the same time, I'm not doing enough. How do you deal with a mother who has mental issues without losing your patience? One day she says she is close to God while other days she hates herself and talks about death. How do you deal with a family damaged by years of fighting between themselves? What am I supposed to do here? How do you deal with yourself when you can't see ''the big picture''?

I guess I already know the answer to those questions, I know the Lord doesn't expect me to fix my family and I know he is not supposed to fix every little problem I have when I want to. However, I often wonder how involved I should be,and especially with my mom, I sometimes wonder if instead of drawing her near to God I'm only pushing her away... but I don't want to make this only about my mom because it's not. To be honest there are so many other things in my life that I sometimes wonder if I'm not just plain weird, but that's another topic haha. What I'm asking is...how do you know when you are taking too much? how do you know if you are approaching something by the wrong angle?

You don't actually need to answer all my questions don't worry :) any thoughts, opinions, bible verses, jokes or pictures of puppies are appreciated (yeah I just like puppies). Anyway, I just needed to get this off my chest...
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KayM, Proverbs 3:3 is a great 'signature' verse, but remember that after you have bound yourself in showing others always Love and being with faithfulness to your Creator, and, remembering the greatness of God's mercy and Truth freely given you and never leaving it from your life THEN also realize the value of doing 'this' act in v.4 and THEN v.5 and v.6 follow....great word of the Lord's leading you, in your tough life situations, like family and mom concerns.
Sorry, I have no real-life advice right now, milady, the Lord leads

V.5 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understsnding:
V.6 - In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct (lead) your paths.

God bless you, kayM, you are doing right things by simply praying and following His lead. Keep strong, in Him , and, even, be on Him, let God know you want His Love warming you, caring for you, closer to Him, that will, indeed, draw God closer, nigh, to you :)
 
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shemaiah

shemaiah

Senior Member
#3
Jan 28, 2011
2,233
30
48
29
#3
Well I don't know all that but I have seen my parents sort out family problems. But it did not take them a few months to get the rest of the family to be 'cool' with each other, it has taken many years. And for some it has taken sickness to get them change, others trouble, others confusion, etc. All you have to do is have patience and keep on praying for each and every one of them, and God himself will open their eyes, and nothing can stop Him not even mental problems. God bless
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#4
#4
It can take a long time and a lot of patience, Karla. As much as I loved my stepdad and as awesome as he was to me, he was not a christian until shortly before he died. Some of the things he did pulled my mom from her faith from time to time in order to keep him happy, and that was difficult to watch. But we prayed for him faithfully and he did accept Christ before he died. The work the Holy Spirit did in him at an accellerated rate was a blessing I can't describe. Translation: IT WAS ALL WORTH IT

I know you're tired. Remember to take time for yourself in this regard. We can't serve Him if our spirits are empty. :)

There's a song called "I Miss My Time with You" by a guy named Larnelle Harris. Youtube it. :) It's always been helpful to me. I tried to post the link, but youtube is being contrary right now. :)
 
L

Liz01

Guest
#5
#5
I think that God wants that you put your trust in Him and wait on what amazing thing can do in your life and in the life of your family.
I must say that your mom is very similar to mine, yes, there are more than one mom with that personality even if that sounds incredible haha. And in the past i had many problems with her, there were sometimes that i didnt know what to do or say, she is catholic too but I pray everyday for her to accept Jesus as her savior and im sure she will because its a promise from God so i think only patience is needed.

What have helped me a lot to deal with her is not getting involved in what she says, and i try to respect her, honor her and accept her advices. I dont agree with her opinions almost all the time but despite that, i treat her with as much love as i can, I think in how i would like to be treated if i were in her shoes.

And i think that you are taking too much burden over your shoulders, Jesus said in Mathew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" so it would be good if you give that burden to Jesus and rest and wait to see how He blesses your life.
Besides that, God is the only one who makes things grow (1 Corinthians 3:6-9) and He can makes the faith of your mom grow in the right moment.

I wish things be better for you soon :)
 
T

TD14

Guest
#6
#6
I'm going to jump in about your mom because that's where i have experience. My mom too has mental issues. I myself am bipolar. The difference between my mom and your mom is that my mom isn't close to God or if she is she has never showed it or told me. So anyways the best advice i have is this. Just try to take your time with your mom. Don't try to fix her, she can't be "fixed". Instead support her and be there for her. That's what she needs especially on the days she hates herself and talks about death. It almost sounds like she is bipolar with a little bit of something else but i'm no doctor. The one thing you need to remember for yourself and this is the hardest one is this. When she gets to be too much step back and take a break. It will do wonders, i do the same thing with my mom and to be honest when she has had enough of me she does the same. It's kind of our system. Sadly my dad can't get when i have had enough of him and want a break to leave me alone. So just try to be there for your mom and support her. As for your other family problems i really don't have much advice there. :( If you ever need an ear or well technically an eye feel free to pm me on here. Not sure if i'll be any help but i have found especially online just having someone to get it out to helps. God is there and we can get it out to him but when we find people on earth who have the same issues or similar we can fellowship with them and feel support. Which if you ask me is what God wants. He wants us to turn to him but also turn to our fellow followers of him and rely on both resources. Hope this makes some sense. :)
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#7
Aug 12, 2011
4,056
136
63
#7
Liz01 said:
And i think that you are taking too much burden over your shoulders, Jesus said in Mathew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" so it would be good if you give that burden to Jesus and rest and wait to see how He blesses your life.
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Yes, yes, YES!!! Cast all of your cares upon Him... because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)
Tell Him you're giving Him the stress and worry about your mom, and also tell your mom that she can/should give Him whatever is bothering her... to let it go, give it to Him. If it helps, you can imagine putting the things that bother you in a box and leaving it at the foot of the cross... or handing it to God.

Liz01 said:
Besides that, God is the only one who makes things grow (1 Corinthians 3:6-9) and He can makes the faith of your mom grow in the right moment.

I wish things be better for you soon :)
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Yes again. I totally agree... kayem77 planted, the church watered... but God causes the growth. ;)



Aaaaand, we leave you with some PUPPIES!!! :D
 
N

niceguyJ

Senior Member
#8
Feb 5, 2011
520
25
28
#8
Ultimately, your Mom and family are responsible for their own faith and relationships with God. It seems like you're putting too much pressure on yourself here. Sometimes you just have to let go and trust that God is still working and will complete the work he has started.
I love the verse Liz posted up there. Rest in God. :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#9
#9
Karla, I was thinking about your mom. Praise music has had an amazing impact upon people with emotional issues. Do you get KLOVE where you live? It would be cool if your mom could listen to the music and hear some of the testimonies and things they discuss in a non-pressured way. :) Just a thought...

As they say, we can't save the ones we love, only He can. But we can find different ways to share His love and teachings that are very appealing to a lot of people.
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#10
#10
Sorry I wasn't here to respond on time, I've been a little busy..
You guys are right, I need a break, I really really need a break FROM MYSELF and my brain :) ....it's not only my mom, the circumstances around me shouldn't make me feel all stressed out, I'm way too self-conscious about everything I do and how I do it. I am putting too much pressure on myself and I know I gotta stop this before I go nuts if I didn't already haha so please someone stop me :). It's refreshing to know though that I'm not the only one who has dealed with a difficult parent, I do feel kind of lonely with this problem and sometimes I let that be another burden to me. I lose my patience when I see that everything seems to be the way it has always been and it seems like it will never change. I guess all I need is a break, leave my burdens at the cross and stop being a self-conscious psycho . I will keep praying and doing all I can for the ones I love, but I have my limits , and I will pray that God helps me know when I just need to stop, think, listen,shut up, and relaaax .

Thank you all for your words, for the puppies( I WANT TO HUG THEM ALL!! ♥♥ ) , songs, and bible verses. Thanks for your support :) God bless you all. ♥
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#11
#11
oops...almost forgot the puppies again :)
 

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K

kayem77

Guest
#12
#12
Jullianna said:
Karla, I was thinking about your mom. Praise music has had an amazing impact upon people with emotional issues. Do you get KLOVE where you live? It would be cool if your mom could listen to the music and hear some of the testimonies and things they discuss in a non-pressured way. :) Just a thought...

As they say, we can't save the ones we love, only He can. But we can find different ways to share His love and teachings that are very appealing to a lot of people.
Click to expand...
KLOVE? never heard about it....I will google it :D the thing is that she doesn't like it when I specifically tell her about things about God , she responds better when she asks herself...that's why I get so frustrated haha.
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#13
#13
Liz01 said:
I think that God wants that you put your trust in Him and wait on what amazing thing can do in your life and in the life of your family.
I must say that your mom is very similar to mine, yes, there are more than one mom with that personality even if that sounds incredible haha. And in the past i had many problems with her, there were sometimes that i didnt know what to do or say, she is catholic too but I pray everyday for her to accept Jesus as her savior and im sure she will because its a promise from God so i think only patience is needed.

What have helped me a lot to deal with her is not getting involved in what she says, and i try to respect her, honor her and accept her advices. I dont agree with her opinions almost all the time but despite that, i treat her with as much love as i can, I think in how i would like to be treated if i were in her shoes.

And i think that you are taking too much burden over your shoulders, Jesus said in Mathew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" so it would be good if you give that burden to Jesus and rest and wait to see how He blesses your life.
Besides that, God is the only one who makes things grow (1 Corinthians 3:6-9) and He can makes the faith of your mom grow in the right moment.

I wish things be better for you soon :)
Click to expand...
My mom is like a rebellious catholic :)sometimes she is but sometimes she is not haha I forgot what part of Mexico you are from but I understand what you must go through...I will keep your family in prayer. And thanks again :)
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#14
#14
I can't believe puppies make me laugh, I look ridiculous laughing at a picture with puppies hahaha. Thanks for sharing Jullianna! :)
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#15
#15
kayem77 said:
KLOVE? never heard about it....I will google it :D the thing is that she doesn't like it when I specifically tell her about things about God , she responds better when she asks herself...that's why I get so frustrated haha.
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Best thing we can do is pray for our loved ones, and, as Shemajera says, 'God will open their eyes.'

Nicestguy says to not pressure self so much, yes, agreed, a girl once told me, 'dont be so hard on yourself.' It was great, blessed advice :)

Not familiar of K-love station, but more great julieannie advice, and, I would suggest to Google: 'Spirit 105.3 radio,' they have great nightly 7-10 music and encouraging stories times by a single lady DJ, martha hadley. :)

Cast a net and get fish but only IF God says so, and, as POP!click says, we should cast all our stresses and important things on our mind to Him, because He cares . That 'care' means soo much too :)

and I just recommend too, getting your mom an ipod and put all kinds of christian encouraging songs on it.
I
Bebo Norman - light of the world
Katinas - draw me close
Barlow girl mellow songs

Pray for the perfect songlist for mom :)


And, alzó, try to find out what her favorite kind of music is, from.others, like dad, siblings, or, just observing what your mom.is listening to. God bless you, KayM, never forget, the Lord leads, never let go of Him. God will provide, bottom line, milady, don't let The Enemy in , Remember, God won out over him long ago . Go with The Winner :)

LOL, i just needed others to say things about radio and other things and my green brains came to.life with real-life advice :D

God bless you, 'others.' :)
 
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C

CC_Bride

Guest
#16
#16
niceguyJ said:
Ultimately, your Mom and family are responsible for their own faith and relationships with God. It seems like you're putting too much pressure on yourself here. Sometimes you just have to let go and trust that God is still working and will complete the work he has started.
I love the verse Liz posted up there. Rest in God. :)
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I agree with this. My husband and I are the only Christians in our family, and sometimes I have frequently felt as if the souls of my family were on my shoulders and if I didn't convert them or at least witness to them they would go to hell. I finally got very exhausted and very discouraged with myself and them which didn't help what I was trying to achieve, but I think God allowed that to finally tell me, its not my responsibility, its his. That weight is on His shoulders not mine. Also allow time for yourself, its not selfish and caring for yourself, emotionally, spiritually, physically etc. I come from a very tight family as well and Id go crazy if I didn't have regular breaks from them.
 
C

CC_Bride

Guest
#17
#17
*Meant to say its not selfish to care for yourself
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#18
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#18
Hi Karla. I'm really sorry for not replying earlier. I kept coming back to this thread but couldn't think of what to say. I've been through a similar situation where one of my family was having very serious emotional/mental problems and it was affecting everyone around them and they were reluctant to get help. It was the hardest thing for all of us to endure and so I really sympathize with you. We just kept praying and eventually they came out of it and actually joined us in praying. I truly believe that praying is what did it and I know you aren't catholic, but we prayed to St. Jude (Jesus's half-brother). I didn't want to mention that because I know many here don't agree with catholic ways, but I promised St. Jude that I would tell how praying for his intercession helped (of course, I don't want to turn this into a debate on whether Jude is a saint or whether he had anything to do with it. I am mentioning him out of honoring my word.).

I hope that your mom gets better and that the situation with your family improves quickly. I will pray about it with you, Karla. God bless.
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#19
Aug 12, 2011
4,056
136
63
#19
kayem77 said:
I guess all I need is a break, leave my burdens at the cross and stop being a self-conscious psycho . I will keep praying and doing all I can for the ones I love, but I have my limits , and I will pray that God helps me know when I just need to stop, think, listen,shut up, and relaaax .
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Yay! Leave those burdens in His hands. I will pray that God helps you with the last thing you mentioned, as well. :)

 
K

kayem77

Guest
#20
#20
zeroturbulence said:
Hi Karla. I'm really sorry for not replying earlier. I kept coming back to this thread but couldn't think of what to say. I've been through a similar situation where one of my family was having very serious emotional/mental problems and it was affecting everyone around them and they were reluctant to get help. It was the hardest thing for all of us to endure and so I really sympathize with you. We just kept praying and eventually they came out of it and actually joined us in praying. I truly believe that praying is what did it and I know you aren't catholic, but we prayed to St. Jude (Jesus's half-brother). I didn't want to mention that because I know many here don't agree with catholic ways, but I promised St. Jude that I would tell how praying for his intercession helped (of course, I don't want to turn this into a debate on whether Jude is a saint or whether he had anything to do with it. I am mentioning him out of honoring my word.).

I hope that your mom gets better and that the situation with your family improves quickly. I will pray about it with you, Karla. God bless.
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Thank you Gabe :) I agree that prayers can be very powerful although you know I'm not catholic , I appreciate your words.:) God bless you too!
 
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