Hi Everyone,
Something that has been heavy on my heart lately is the fact that God loves absolutely EVERYONE and wants ALL PEOPLE to be saved. Please let me explain before anyone misunderstands...
I work at a local store and one of our customers, a man in his late 40's, is someone who is not known to everyone but served close to a 15-year prison sentence for molesting children. The reason I know is because some of my co-workers have known some of the families of his victims (and there are public records to prove what they've told me--I'm not just buying into idle gossip.)
This man shows no remorse and no intent of stopping. He now lives with family, as he has no place to go, and the only reason he is free is because his last victim's family (he molested yet another child right after getting out of prison) chose not to press charges.
The disturbing thing to me is that my co-workers will call me on our intercom and insist that I wait on him. I'm not sure what they're thinking... perhaps, "Oh sure, the Christian girl can handle this." But they could not be more wrong.
The first time I had to wait on him, I felt physically nauseous.
The second time, I was imaging what it would be like to throw my fist squarely into the middle of his face and hopefully rid the earth of such a vile human being (this is why I've gone to prison to talk to people who are in for murder--by God's definition, I myself am a murderer, just as much as they are.)
The third time, I knew what God was telling me: "Knowing all that you know, choose to forgive him." It was truly a different kind of agony than I've ever felt in my life. And in truth, I'm not sure I've succeeded, because I keep asking God for help.
The last time I had to wait on him, the burning anger and rage wasn't there. But, I did drop my head and felt a terrible sorrow in my heart. "God," I prayed, "Please, PLEASE just don't let him hurt another child."
As Christians, we talk a lot about forgiveness and the fact that God forgives, and loves, EVERYONE. I heard a song on the radio today about how God will be the love that we've never had.
God loves the parent who was always drunk and wasn't there for you.
God loves the husband who left you for someone else with 4 babies to raise alone.
God loves the girlfriend who left you for your best friend.
God loves the person who abused you and didn't care if you lived or died.
God loves the person who hurts everyone around them, including you, and had no intention of stopping.
God loves the parent who chose to ignore what you were trying to tell him or her.
In my quest to find the person God hopefully has for me, I also have to tell God... "Lord, I'm sorry, but one of the reasons I want to find him so badly is because I need to know someone's in MY corner and MY corner alone... Because with you... I know you're in EVERYONE'S corner."
Does anyone else struggle with this?
Or is it simply my own pride, because in the end, as much as we try to deny it, we all, to a point, classify sins as some being worse than others... when in the end, God says all sins are sin in His eyes.
Thanks so much for your thoughts.
