Does it really matter?

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Aug 2, 2009
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#21
This is a nice post, but i think some of it sounds totally unrealistic.

Now i wouldn't not date someone because of his profession or car. However i would not go out with someone because of height or looks
It sounds really nice to say who cares about looks or anything else as long as he or she treats you nice, but i kinda think that's garbage.
I wouldn't date a man my fathers age who was morbidly obese because he treated me nice. I wouldn't date a man 2 or 3 inches shorter than me either. I wouldn't date a man my height, i wouldn't date a man who had huge growths coming up out all over his whole face. I wouldn't date a guy who was so nice he let's people run all over him.
I would date a man who was bald or balding, i would date a man who was slightly over weight, i would date a man who wasn't muscular, i would date a man who worked at McDonalds, or was missing an arm or leg.
I won't completely disregard looks though. If his face is wack his face is wack. I mean i can't pretend to be attracted to someone because i don't want to feel shallow.

One more thing

I think it's pretty stereotypical to say if you run after ''jocks'' you'll just get hurt. Just because this person is into sports that means he'll treat you like crap? How does that work?
I've been hurt by jocks and I wasn't even dating them. (They were bullies) (So I generally don't like jocks because of that reason).
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#22
I've been hurt by jocks and I wasn't even dating them. (They were bullies) (So I generally don't like jocks because of that reason).
I can understand that, but there not ALL are the same. That's like saying all men are the same, or all women are the same.

I am sorry they bullied you Gabe :( Not cool!
 
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1still_waters

Guest
#23
-They don't make enough.
-They don't like the person's car.
-Said person isn't tall enough.
-Said person isn't muscular enough.
-Said person has a physical flaw.
-Said person did something 'too nice' for them.
If you're a woman, with more traditional values, who thinks the man should take care of the woman, and family, then yes, it does matter if he makes enough.

If you're a woman with more traditional values, who thinks the man should take care of the woman and family, then yes, to a very minimal extent the car does matter. If he can't afford a car that runs consistently, then do you think he can provide for her and a potential family?

I won't begin this sentence like the first two..but same scenario..Height/muscular enough is a legit issue if a woman is seeking someone strong enough and such to provide and protect.

Physical flaw, again, that might be a legit issue. If the woman wants someone who can protect her, then it's reasonable to allow her to want a guy who has all limbs working.

As far as the guy being "too nice"..We all know that's about as legit... as it's me not you...

*Prepares for incoming fire.***
 

mystdancer50

Senior Member
Feb 26, 2012
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#24
For me, the things that matter is that he is truly saved, sold out, in love with Christ and that he is older than me. :) Then, in the 'preferences' section is long hair.

But, I will say this, if he has not held a steady job or is unemployed, I would not consider him. Why? Because I do not believe that my role as his wife is to support him financially. I think that erratic jobs and the inability to hold down a job is a major red flag, but that's just me.

And, yes, I am extremely picky. I truly consider myself to be a daughter of the King of all kings and I am able to be selective. I do not want to date. I do not want a boyfriend or boyfriends. I do not want flings or experiences. If I were to marry, that would be the only thing I'd want, to meet a godly man, be courted, and marry him. I may seem idealistic, but the relationship I have with God gives me the right to rest in the assurance that He is my Father and He is arranging my marriage for me, if marriage is in His plan for my life. :) Either way, I am blessed and content and satisfied.
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#25
While I'm at it.

Women have a tendency to hint, hang around, etc. guys they are interested in.

I see all these wild claims about the only thing that matters is that the guy have a "heart for the Lord".

I also know of disabled guys who LOVE God, more so than some of their able bodied brothers. Yet the women who claim that all of these "shallow things" don't matter, do most of their hinting and hanging around the more able bodied brothers.

Now if all of these "shallow things" didn't matter, wouldn't it follow that maybe the disabled bodied brothers in the Lord would have the women hinting and hanging around them more, than are around the able bodied brothers?

It's just an observation, and honestly I don't think women are evil/wrong/etc for wanting what some would label as "shallow". Because some of those "shallow" things, involve the man's ability to care, provide, and protect them.

I really think both sides need to quit fronting, and need to drop the I'm-not-as-shallow-as-the-other-personisms. This creates an unrealistic, and kinda hostile social environment between men and women.

Just food for thought.
 
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Sep 6, 2013
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#26
Steady job is important, for the reasons Myst listed. Changing jobs, moving around a lot, impulsive-seeming stuff like that would concern me, because if we were married I wouldn't want to live that way.

I really truly do not care what he drives.

Being in good shape is important to me, though it isn't to everyone. I'm not all obsessed over it, but I want to remain active in my life, and would like someone who will be active with me.

I wouldn't care about loss of limbs, actually, if the guy himself didn't care. Most people I know that are missing an arm or leg go on with their life like it's normal.
 
Dec 21, 2012
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#27
I really truly do not care what he drives.

Being in good shape is important to me, though it isn't to everyone. I'm not all obsessed over it, but I want to remain active in my life, and would like someone who will be active with me.
Killing two birds with one stone....

woman_powered.jpg
 

christian74

Senior Member
Oct 1, 2013
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#28
A great thread.

So the moral of the story is:

Knowing how and when to bump into women and make it look like it was an accident.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#29
I can understand that, but there not ALL are the same. That's like saying all men are the same, or all women are the same.

I am sorry they bullied you Gabe :( Not cool!
I know, Nod. I was a jock too. :( It happened when I was on the high school football team. You know that story that broke in the news like a month ago about a football player saying he was getting bullied by his teammate/s in the NFL? Yea, I believe it.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#30
-They don't make enough.

I was happy when my husband and I were both working two jobs to support our family and I was making my own clothes/coming up with as many ways as possible to stretch every dollar. I was happy when the family business became highly successful and I was able to go into a field I'd longed for. "Enough" means different things to different people. There is a lot to be said for building something together. Someone who will stand with you through lean times is someone who can go the distance.


-They don't like the person's car.

I didn't take this to mean that the car was not dependable, but that they simply did not like it. When my son was born I sold my favorite car and my husband sold his motorcycle so we could buy something more family appropriate. It was very ugly (He picked it out and we laughed about it a LOT :) ), but it was a good car. I didn't like it, but I knew I wouldn't be driving it forever so it wasn't a thing.

-Said person isn't tall enough.

How tall does someone have to be to protect you? I'm only 5.6, 123 lbs, but I've held my own in a lot of scuffles with people 2-3 times my size. Have I been kicked/shoved across the room a couple of times? Yep, but I got right back in there. There are equalizers available out there. Just have to find them.

One of the deadliest men I know is only 5.8. He is one of the funniest, most humble men I've ever met in my life, but he's made a whole lotta big boys cry...and he did it unarmed.

As far as attractiveness in this regard, some of Hollywood's "hottest" leading men are not all that tall. You'd be surprised. :)

-Said person isn't muscular enough.

Are muscles important or is health important? For me, it's not about muscles or the lack thereof. It's about taking care of yourself. Once you have nursed a terminally ill spouse, you realize what a treasure good health is. Too many people take their health for granted. That bothers me....a lot, but not muscle mass.

-Said person has a physical flaw.

Don't we all have something? I have asthma. It slows me down sometimes, but I'm not going to allow it to defeat me and I would hate to think someone couldn't love me because of that.

-Said person did something 'too nice' for them.

That sounds so incredibly silly to me, unless I got the feeling that the person was doing things like that for me manipulatively to "guilt" me into being with them. That would be a huge red flag.
 
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I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#31
From what you've listed I'd say making enough money is very important.
Yes, there is nothing wrong with the woman to work and provide for the family along with the man. That's actually the norm. But still for me the man is expected to act in a manly way and provide for his family not getting into a relationship counting on his wife. However, God forbid something bad happens that prevents the man from completely providing for his family or prevent him from providing enough for his family, then definitely his loving wife would step in with love n' without even making him feel that she's stepping in and becoming the only or main provider for the family.

Preliminary physical attraction has to be there of course. I'm not saying marry based on shallow reasons. But that's the man you will continue your life with, then both of you has to be physically attracted to each other along with everything else.

The main thing on top of ALL is for him to be a genuine Godly man in Actions and not just in words.

The rest of your list doesn't mean anything for me personally. Like I wouldn't care less of how tall he is or his car and this and that.


This thread goes out to all the singles out there. It's based on somethings I have noticed throughout the years. I have seen people refuse to date someone who clearly liked them because some of the following reasons:

-They don't make enough.
-They don't like the person's car.
-Said person isn't tall enough.
-Said person isn't muscular enough.
-Said person has a physical flaw.
-Said person did something 'too nice' for them.

My question is, do these things really matter? I know I personally couldn't care LESS about these excuses. Why should it matter how much money they make? It's their money not mine. Coming from a household of all females and an all girls school these are just some of the excuses I have heard. There are women who walk around with lists of what they are looking for in a man?

Am I the only female who things this is wrong? I believe you should love a man for what's on the inside who cares what he looks like as long as he treats you right? Yet some people go running after the jocks and wonder why they get hurt? I am not asking you to lower your standards because I do not see this as lowering your standards in any form whatsoever I am simply saying you could be missing out on a truly amazing person if you refuse to give them a shot because of something as silly as their profession etc.

[video=youtube;p14-lNyBovM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p14-lNyBovM[/video]
 
May 3, 2013
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#32
The Bible have given me many answers on what matters: Beauty... and money wealth (´cas it is associated to safety).

Gen_25:5 Before Abraham died, he gave some gifts to his sons who were from his slave women. He sent them to the East, away from Isaac. Then Abraham gave everything he owned to Isaac.


Gen_24:22 After the camels finished drinking, he gave Rebekah a gold ring that weighed 1/4 ounce. He also gave her two gold arm bracelets that weighed 2 ounces each.

Gen_24:28 Then Rebekah ran and told her family about all these things.

Gen_24:53 Then he gave Rebekah the gifts he brought. He gave her
beautiful clothes and gold and silver jewelry. He also gave expensive gifts to her mother and brother.

Gen_24:64
Rebekah also looked and saw Isaac. Then she jumped down from the camel.

Gen_24:65 She said to the servant, "Who is that young man walking in the field to meet us?" The servant said, "That is my master's son." So Rebekah covered her face with her veil.

Gen_25:20 When Isaac was 40 years old, he married Rebekah. Rebekah was from Paddan Aram. She was Bethuel's daughter and the sister of Laban the Aramean.

Everything matters!

Otherwise, all the people would marry ANYone who would ask to be married (even to befriend, we see and open these blinded eyes) :cool: