Girls: How do you like guys to approach you?

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karuna

Guest
#21
#21
Approach me only if you know something more about me than how I look. It's nothing personal, but I don't know anything other than how you look and, if you're a guy talking to random women based on how they look, odds are you're a creep. Sorry. I'm sure if we talked for a while I'd know better, but I'm dull that way.

Also, it's good to bring a friend along. A female friend. A female friend we both know is much better. It proves that you able to keep one within ten feet of you without constantly trying to date it. If you find yourself trying to date all your female friends, do not approach. You are frantic and probably impatient. This will go poorly for you.

Don't try to be witty. If you approach with a joke, I will throw whatever is closest, even if it's your female friend. I'm not a television audience. I was probably minding my own business, trying to figure out what the new Starbucks latte with the sixty letter name includes. I'm not there waiting breathlessly for your line. I'm thirsty.

Honestly, no strangers have ever pulled off a good "approach" to me. The men who are nice and normal enough to do it right seem to not need to. The men I know personally as friends, also, haven't needed any approach strategy. I found myself dating from among that pool naturally.
 
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christiancollegegirl

Guest
#22
#22
I like when a guy appproaches with a smile and introduces himself. It shows that he's brave and confident enough to approach you on his own. Whatever you do DON"T send a friend to do it for you. Makes you look weak and cowardly.
 
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Meiberry

Guest
#23
#23
Definitely make sure they are stationary. you never wanna try to stop a girl en route to a place. 9 time of of ten she'll use the circumstance to blow by you and leave egg on ur face. tell her you wanna buy ur neice a doll...if she asks the age say 12 yrs old and at the age where she's "always getting new stuffed animals"...say it just like that. say u wanna get her a stuffed animal but dont know if u should buy a tiger or a unicorn. ask for help. this will surely break the ice...ask her why she selects which one she selects....let one question lead to another, never interrogate during an initial meeting (lots of guys think making a girl tell her whole life story will magically make them fall in love)...act really interested, like u care...dont forget to ask for the number when that awkward moment arises,(the moment the conversation kinda begins to linger....its lingering because its number asking time.. good luck sir. I find getting the number with this technique easy....the courage to call...well thats another thing
 
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karuna

Guest
#24
#24
Meiberry said:
tell her you wanna buy ur neice a doll...if she asks the age say 12 yrs old and at the age where she's "always getting new stuffed animals"...say it just like that. say u wanna get her a stuffed animal but dont know if u should buy a tiger or a unicorn. ask for help. this will surely break the ice...
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What happens when she finds out that you have no niece? :mad:
 
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DABEARS85

Guest
#25
#25
Best pickup line ever (and it works too):


Hi. You'll do.
 
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Meiberry

Guest
#26
#26
HAHAHA.....i just take it on faith that it'll mAKE a great story at the wedding reception
 
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christiancollegegirl

Guest
#27
#27
karuna said:
What happens when she finds out that you have no niece? :mad:
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Yea, once she finds out you lied about having a niece, she's gonna wonder what else you lied about and she's not gonna trust you.
 
Pheonix

Pheonix

Senior Member
#28
Jan 17, 2007
578
7
18
#28
Harley_Angel said:
Everyone can have a knock out body if you know where to punch.
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Right in the throat. I know its a small target but if you hit it they'll drop like a stone.
Groin area is good too for guys anyhow.
 
M

Maddog

Guest
#29
#29
karuna said:
Approach me only if you know something more about me than how I look. It's nothing personal, but I don't know anything other than how you look and, if you're a guy talking to random women based on how they look, odds are you're a creep.
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Right, so he must first gather details about your life (how? by stalking?) before he formally approaches you...so as not to appear a 'creep'?

Sorry, codswallop, in my opinion.
 
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Matthew

Guest
#30
#30
karuna said:
Approach me only if you know something more about me than how I look. It's nothing personal, but I don't know anything other than how you look and, if you're a guy talking to random women based on how they look, odds are you're a creep. Sorry. I'm sure if we talked for a while I'd know better, but I'm dull that way.
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So must we go on a reconnaissance mission before we introduce ourselves :p

It seems to me that all attractions begin with finding another person physically appealing, we all see eachother before we speak to eachother, how you look draws people to you and if that isn't acceptable to you then how will you ever get to a point of talking with a man if his being drawn to your physical beauty makes him a creep in your eyes?

Obviously if a liasion is all a man is after then he is a creep, but approaching you because he finds you attractive is perfectly normal, and not creepy at all.
 
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sportygirl

Guest
#31
#31
That depends if your approaching a girl you know and have been friends, or have been talking to, than being pretty straight forward is always good in my mind. I don't like wondering if they like me, yes you face rejection this way, but if it a friend etc...tehy should be nice about it, at lesat I would hope so.

If you don't know them and are just looking to meet them, just be friendly. The guy im crushing on now, just said hey when we were waiting in line for food. We were in the same group, but he was just like Idon't think I've met you yet and introduced himself. It was kind of sweet. Casual conversation is always best and too come across to strong that can be kind of creapy.
 
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karuna

Guest
#32
#32
Maddog said:
Right, so he must first gather details about your life (how? by stalking?) before he formally approaches you...so as not to appear a 'creep'?
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I mean, he should know me in another context before feeling confident enough to approach me to chat me up for a date. The idea of an approach, as if this is the only way to get to know a woman, is weird.
 
K

karuna

Guest
#33
#33
Matthew said:
It seems to me that all attractions begin with finding another person physically appealing, we all see eachother before we speak to eachother, how you look draws people to you and if that isn't acceptable to you then how will you ever get to a point of talking with a man if his being drawn to your physical beauty makes him a creep in your eyes?
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By getting to know men who aren't "on approach." Going bowling with friends, for instance, allows you to get to know people in a nonconfrontational situation. If a guy finds me attractive at that point, we'll have at least exchanged some hellos, have been introduced, etc.
 
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Matthew

Guest
#34
#34
But what if you are out in town and a man sees you and want's to take what may well be his only opportunity to meet you, so he walks up and tries to introduce himself, he's doing the only thing he can, would that be O.K. by you or would you think him a creep?
 
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karuna

Guest
#35
#35
But what if you are out in town and a man sees you and want's to take what may well be his only opportunity to meet you, so he walks up and tries to introduce himself, he's doing the only thing he can, would that be O.K. by you or would you think him a creep?
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I thought we were talking about what we like, not what's ok or not ok? :confused:

I haven't said that approaching a woman makes him a creep necessarily. I said that we won't be able to tell you apart from the creeps, who make up the larger portion of men who go up and talk to random women. I even put a caveat in - if we had some time to talk, we might find out differently, but we can't give enough time to everyone who tells us we're pretty. I'm pretty sure I said this or something like this.

Giving the wrong man the time of day can ruin a day.
 
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Matthew

Guest
#36
#36
I was just trying to make sure I understood you not derail the thread, my only feeling is that while there are creeps out there it'd be nice if a guy who approaches a girl gets the benefit of the doubt, but each to their own.
 
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Dread_Zeppelin

Guest
#37
#37
The best way to ask out a girl you dont know is to go up to her, compliment her, then introduce yourself. If she seems warm and responsive ask her out- if she's snotty and reclusive then walk away and try some other chick.
 
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karuna

Guest
#38
#38
Unfortunately, a lot of us have been put on guard by prior experiences. I can't necessarily sympathize, since I've never tried to approach anybody in that sense, but it's a lot to ask to be open to every advance. You may not sense the threat you represent to some women.

As an example, I was out to dinner with a group of my friends. We were waiting on one more, so we had an open seat at the table. On the way in we'd passed by the bar and a guy sitting there had said something nice about the way we were dressed. We smiled - that was about it. By the end of the dinner he'd invited himself over with his plate and had taken the seat. We were in shock. It got ugly. We left. I get used to leaving.

Obviously you're not that guy. We have no way of knowing that, though. We don't know how you'll react if for some reason we don't find you attractive. We don't know that you're not going to follow us out in the parking lot if we happen to make eye contact. We don't know that you won't follow us around town.

There are ways to make this happy for everybody, but mostly it involves patience and not insisting on being able to approach every stranger successfully. Sometimes, the stars are just not right. That woman out of town might never say yes. If you change your game a little bit and are willing to let some slip by, though, you can swing the fates in your favor. Apparently "have a large group of friends and do social activities" isn't the right answer, but it's what I like.
 
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Matthew

Guest
#39
#39
I do understand your points and in truth I personally do not approach women at random, partly because I often lack the confidence but also because I am acutely aware of how uncomfortable some women are with being approached and 'put on the spot' and quite frankly I don't feel good knowing I am making someone feel akward, so most times I decide against it.

But it just depresses me when people cite a negative experience from the past and use it as a reason to never let their guard down again, of course I understand that fear does not just evaporate away but it's sometimes tough for me, feeling like the odds are already against me, seeing them get longer and longer because of wrongs done by men that have gone before me.
But I understand there's no easy answer, I generally believe realtionships should develop naturally through friendship so hitting on a woman in a public situation is not something I would ever do.
 
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karuna

Guest
#40
#40
Matthew said:
But it just depresses me when people cite a negative experience from the past and use it as a reason to never let their guard down again
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Who said that? :D I'm willing to go bowling with men I know from work, church, through friends, etc. Or to a comedy club! A stage hypnotist. Clubbing, putt putt, a concert, yoga classes (dragging guys to these are funnier than you might think), dinner, a bar... whatever. Just because it's not on random guy #57's terms doesn't mean I'm dead to life.

(Well, I'm not willing. I'm getting married. But you get what I mean.)

Even this sort of thing is putting yourself at risk of weirdos. Any sort of dating is taking a risk. I just prefer this situation to having a random guy coming up and asking for a date. Besides, I don't think I've said that I categorically write off any random guy forever. Men who ask for a date after five minutes will get a categorical no, but if a guy introduces himself, goes away on his own accord after the conversation is done, and then I see him next week at the pool... who knows.

(Well, I know. I'm getting married. But you get what I mean.)
 
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