Guys Like Girls Who are Intelligent

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Smudge

Guest
#1
#1
SO.... about a month ago I went on a journey through the interwebs. My quest was to satisfy the sudden romance addict in me. I read true love stories(I love the ones that are told by eighty-year-old couples. Oh it makes my heart melt!), watched proposals on the youtube, read articles on dating advice....

And I came across a consistency in the "what guys look for in girls" topic. It wasn't beauty or a sense of humor. It wasn't personality either. It was intelligence.

Statistically out of all the articles and comments from guys that I read, the one thing that they all agreed on was intelligence. ((Deep down I know that guys like girls who are girls))

I'm going to admit that I feel okay on confidence until we reach that trait specifically. I have dyslexia and it caused a lot of problems with math and it effects my speech a bit. I go to a deadbeat community college(there, everyone thinks they're a failure- its thick in the atmosphere), and though I get As and Bs- they aren't rewarding because I feel like I got the dumbed down version of the cookie.

So when I hear about all these guys asking for intelligence in women, not just the silly articles, conversations with actual guys too. I'm sitting here thinking that they want those girls that are quick on their feet, consume math like it was bacon, aren't gullible... and unquestionably smart.

Don't worry though- I'm not sitting in my room crying, "Oh! Woe is me! Now I'll NEVER get a boyfriend!!!"

I'm sure someone is going to fall for me, if its God's will, my own brother described me as a Meg Ryan stock character. Haha!

I guess my big question is- what do guys consider intelligent? If I'm in the range that is what is considered intelligent--- then why is it that guys desire intelligence like its hard to find? I don't think that there are a lot of people that are considerably "dumber" than me. As in, I feel like I'm fairly average at best.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#2
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#2
Don't believe everything you read. Intelligence is not the main thing guys are after in a girl. In fact, very intelligent women often make men feel intimidated.
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#3
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#3
I mean I certainly want a girl I can have a conversation with on my same intellectual level, but I'm not looking for like Einstein or anything.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#4
#4
Smudge, I'm not a guy obviously, but I've read several of your posts and have found them to be very intelligently and insightfully written. Any lady creative enough to type "because I feel like I got the dumbed down version of the cookie" has most definitely not been shortchanged in the brains category. :)


Guys don't expect us to be geniuses, but I would imagine it would be difficult for a guy to be with a woman all of his life who couldn't discuss anything beyond what color lipgloss she was going to wear that day, couldn't understand or stick to a budget, or couldn't be trusted to wisely care for his children when he was not with them. It would probably be like raising another child (which works both ways - women don't want to have to do that either. :) )
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
#5
Here's the problem with the 'what do guys/girls.... ?' posts. It puts a gender in a box. To ask 'what does a guy find intelligent' is an impossible answer, because guys aren't all at the same level of intelligence. And don't all have the same expectations of intelligence, and may not all find it equally as important. There is not answer. You have to judge by each individual and stop looking for so many generalities.
 
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fighterace0

Guest
#6
#6
Hallelujah Amen.
I Can't speak for all men but attractive girls are those that are intelligent. At the same time the list you gave didn't strike me as un-intelligent. I don't want to marry a math major. When was math ever attractive to anyone? But I do expect to have deep conversations with my wife.
I will say plainly, ditz is and never was attractive! The dumb blonde routine makes me sick, who was the first girl to think that actually worked?
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#7
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#7
After studying loads of Psychology, I've discovered a few things. There are many different kinds of intelligence. I'm not trying to be a relativist or anything but, it depends person to person how we judge what we see.

Some people can do really hard math. Some people can speak 3 or more languages. Some people can write music without trying. Some people can tell me everything there is to know about every sports car from 1974 to present. Some people can paint masterpieces without a thought. Some people can do impressions and drama extraordinarily well.

I'm terrible at math. I don't care if someone else is terrible at math either.

What is really attractive about a woman to me, is not intelligence or how good at some academic pursuit a girl is. For me, its Wisdom. Wisdom is the practical application of knowledge. Some people get Ph.D's that don't know how to balance a checkbook. But the woman who knows what she believes in and why, that is impressive to me. A woman who does what she knows is right, not because there might be a rule against it but, because its who she is. That is attractive. A woman who has character that springs from her relationship with God and the respect that she has for His holiness, she is worth all the degrees a university can deliver. Wisdom is not something that can be hung on a wall, but it is displayed through every action a woman can make.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Pr 31:30
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#8
#8
I'm not terrible at math, but I can't really say that I'm a fan either. :)

Geometry kinda rox tho...
 
eugenius

eugenius

Senior Member
#9
Jul 17, 2009
491
9
18
#9
I love intelligent women. Only intelligent women. But you know, intelligence is not measured by your grades in school. Not at all. Nor is it measured by your knowledge of math.

Let me ask you some questions.
Do you like to read?
Do you spend a lot of time thinking about the world and why you are here and why the world is here?
Do you have deep thoughts about the meaning of life?
Do you like philosophy?
Does the world fascinate you?
Do different cultures fascinate you?
Do you like nature ?
Do you like art?
Do you like science?
Do you like to read the bible?
Do you like to think deeply about the meaning of bible versus?

If the answer to any of those questions is yes, you are intelligent. You could add more questions there too. Essentially if you care about anything meaningful in this world.

The only person I would consider not intelligent is those shallow superficial women you see whose only meaning in life is to gossip about why she is better than her friends because her friends are less pretty than she is or have worse clothes, or are not as rich, and who party 24/7 and get drunk and have a different boyfriend every other day. Not only are they immoral, they are also not very intelligent.
 
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starfield

Senior Member
#10
Jun 13, 2009
3,393
58
48
#10
Intelligence should not be solely determined based on how many degrees one has obtained, their income, or their grades in school. School grades can be earned dishonestly anyway; intelligence in this area should be based on one’s ability to analyze, troubleshoot problems, retain the information they’ve learned, and apply them to the real world.
I believe intelligence is multidimensional and there are factors of intelligence that some may esteem higher than others. For instance, one’s area of expertise may be physics so someone might deem that as smart, whereas another person may not be skilled in physics but writing poems and be deemed brilliant by someone else.
In addition, being intelligent is not just about having analytical abilities like in writing, math, etc., but also about exhibiting common logic in everyday situations i.e. social skills and ability to make wise decisions. Another factor is experience. Some people don’t have exposure to certain tasks as others and thus cannot be competent in them. This does not mean they aren’t intelligent. There are linguistic, mathematical, interpersonal, musical, intrapersonal intelligence, etc., and not everyone has the entire package. Just work with what you've got.[FONT=&quot][/FONT]
 
D

djness

Guest
#11
#11
I would put intelligence up there, and maybe just a willingness to talk.

Being out with someone who just never has anything to say for me is really boring. If you suddenly just start talking to me about some article you read on why the human brain wouldn't provide the nutritional value a zombie needs in a daily diet and you read that in some Yale published paper, well I'm going to find you much more interesting.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#12
#12
^This really made me hungry. Snack time^
 
P

Powemm

Guest
#13
#13
What a great thread! I'm so glad it's opened up! my whole life I've stood up for what's right, I was adopted with a nature completely different than my adoptive family. They are funny, always laughing and poking fun.. I stinking love it now!! Me? I'm quiet and a deep thinker, observant and don't like attention cast on me .. I put myself in other people shoes and take into consideration the affect my actions or words might have on someone .. I love art, music, reading..there is conversation in nature if one stops long enough to listen.. I have found Gods breath in the wind..and there is something very attractive to me about someone who is comfortable in silence, ( just being).. I find bravery in someone who will share their heart, and courage to trust someone who knows how to say no. I have faith in a man that has faith, rest, and thoughts of God and takes time to be with Him. there is a reason I have been called unsociable, a reason I have said no to group parties, a reason I don't hug men, a reason I read to me, and a friend in someone who likes a story read back. . Anyone can gain head knowledge and quote it like they know something , But a hero in my eyes , is someone who does something without saying a word. God has put beautiful gifts and talents in each one of us.. What bliss , wonder, and adventure it would be for God to bring someone along who has no expectations of what you ought to be, but be still and look at the beauty of what God has put in front of you. I want to be like a coach , and encourage whomever God brings into my life to try everything He " thinks" he'll be or "could" be good at.. I want to be the fan applauding when He discovers a surprising gift God hid in Him and u get to witness that he didn't know it. i am looking for what I can be to someone , not what I can get from someone. I get what I need from God. So much so, it's spilling out of me. I dont want to compete with someone, I have found no fairer match than yielding, and allowing God to clean up the nature of myself. If he can't do that in me , there is no hope for a partner for me. Integrity is worth more to me than a compliment, and honesty is transparent.. A window I can see clearly through without fog.
I pray we all are either led by God or brought from God aargh that is picture perfect in Gods mind, ours is not good enough for the plan He has for each one of us
Blessings! Awesome thread!
 
P

Powemm

Guest
#14
#14
I have to laugh!! the thread I posted didn't quite come out like I had it in my heart.. But the awesome thing is..thank goodness ,God knows what's in there , And I love auto correct, I have found so much laughter in things I wanted to say and it came out totally upside down. oh well , isn't life a lot like that :). That's part of the fun and adventure we are suppose to discover , love, laugh and appreciate with one another.. I sure hope I read other people who are as imperfect as I .. In Gods eyes we all are winners! Even if we aren't good at math! (raises hand)
 
alienx7587

alienx7587

Senior Member
#16
Jul 10, 2011
182
4
18
#16
Smudge said:
SO.... about a month ago I went on a journey through the interwebs. My quest was to satisfy the sudden romance addict in me. I read true love stories(I love the ones that are told by eighty-year-old couples. Oh it makes my heart melt!), watched proposals on the youtube, read articles on dating advice....

And I came across a consistency in the "what guys look for in girls" topic. It wasn't beauty or a sense of humor. It wasn't personality either. It was intelligence.

Statistically out of all the articles and comments from guys that I read, the one thing that they all agreed on was intelligence. ((Deep down I know that guys like girls who are girls))

I'm going to admit that I feel okay on confidence until we reach that trait specifically. I have dyslexia and it caused a lot of problems with math and it effects my speech a bit. I go to a deadbeat community college(there, everyone thinks they're a failure- its thick in the atmosphere), and though I get As and Bs- they aren't rewarding because I feel like I got the dumbed down version of the cookie.

So when I hear about all these guys asking for intelligence in women, not just the silly articles, conversations with actual guys too. I'm sitting here thinking that they want those girls that are quick on their feet, consume math like it was bacon, aren't gullible... and unquestionably smart.

Don't worry though- I'm not sitting in my room crying, "Oh! Woe is me! Now I'll NEVER get a boyfriend!!!"

I'm sure someone is going to fall for me, if its God's will, my own brother described me as a Meg Ryan stock character. Haha!

I guess my big question is- what do guys consider intelligent? If I'm in the range that is what is considered intelligent--- then why is it that guys desire intelligence like its hard to find? I don't think that there are a lot of people that are considerably "dumber" than me. As in, I feel like I'm fairly average at best.
Click to expand...
You're selling yourself short, Smudge! Personally, I judge intelligence by ones capability of logically setting up and following through with an argument. It doesn't matter how many fancy words they use, or what the argument is about. (Just to clarify, by argument, I mean the defense of an idea not an actual quarrel.)

That being said, as long as she is articulate, open minded and able to express herself, institutionalized education is simply not necessary. Morals are much more important than a textbook education. As Theodore Roosevelt once said: "To educate a man in mind and not morals is to educate a menace to society."

As for dyselxia, God made you the way you are. Everyone has problems. (I *S-U-C-K* at math!) ...But when we are interested in someone we generally focus on the non-problematic characteristics.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#17
#17
“You will puff her up with such ideas of her own beauty, and of what she has a claim to, that, in a little while, nobody within her reach will be good enough for her. Vanity working on a weak head produces every sort of mischief. Noting so easy as for a young lady to raise her expectations too high. Miss Harriet Smith may not find offers of marriage flow in so fast, though she is a very pretty girl. Men of sense, whatever you may choose to say, do not want silly wives.”
—Jane Austen, Emma
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#18
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#18
As far as a relationship is concerned, intelligence is defined by how long one can carry on a deep, sustained conversation.
 
Pheonix

Pheonix

Senior Member
#19
Jan 17, 2007
578
7
18
#19
Ritter said:
As far as a relationship is concerned, intelligence is defined by how long one can carry on a deep, sustained conversation.
Click to expand...
Guess that IQ test I took claiming I was just shy of super genius was wrong then, cause I have trouble carrying conversations. Too bad.....
 
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shawntc

shawntc

Senior Member
#20
May 7, 2010
729
11
0
#20
When it comes to intelligence, I do look for someone who has at least a basic understanding in a wide variety of things, because I'm like that as well. I don't need a genius in a partner, but I do need someone who can keep up with me when I get into deep, philosophical conversation. Thoughts are where I'm at and if she can't relate to that, then things are going to be difficult.

I've tried being paired with someone who just wants to do the minimum in life and doesn't want to get into deep topics; it didn't end well.
 
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